You partially regretted lying to him about the overtime after his, most likely, existential crisis, or even a meltdown. But if this did work out, then you were certain it would make up for everything.

Honestly, you were genuinely surprised that you were willing to do so much for this guy, this random stranger that you found in the woods by random chance. Sure you were an empathic person, raised to help people if you felt they needed it, even if you were a pushover because you weren't a confrontational person.

The point was, that no one would go this far to help some random person. Not even you. You know you weren't doing this out of pity, you would have gathered information for him before kicking him out to fend for himself if that had been the case. Empathy or not, you also knew that would have been the worst thing you could ever do, especially with what you've learned about him with technology.

You could say that you were doing this because you saw him as a friend, but you don't know the meaning of that word, from what you've gathered from others, friends did a lot of things together, but some of that you and Ben didn't do. Plus the fact you were also 'roommates', did that still make you friends? Or some twisted version of 'friends with benefits?'

Or, was the answer so simple that you feel stupid for overthinking something that held a simple answer like a flame on a candle?

You were doing this simply because you cared about him and that he was the first male person that you've trusted to get close to actually touching you. This reason alone seemed so simple, so certain, that you felt like tearing up.

You don't mind being touched by others when you have a close connection with them, something to the equivalent of a sibling relationship. But you mainly felt that with females, most likely due to being raised by a single mum, which did sound plausible.

As for males, well, you've had way more bad experiences with them that the idea of even a handshake was enough to make your skin feel like there were worms wriggling on you just from the mere thought of it, never mind touching. Even if you were the one initiating it.

With Ben though, this was, different to some extent. He too didn't like being touched, and the only time he seemed okay with it was when either of you lost balance over something and the other would grab it without thinking to help them stay up, then the apologies would come for touching without permission but it would be waved off without a thought.

It was both an embarrassing and face-palming moment, and this was during the beginning of your time living together as you both walked on eggshells to get a good understanding on each other's boundaries. Mistakes were made sure, but you never made it again.

You almost trip over your feet as the realisation hits you like an anchor on a cartoon character on TV. You could, might be, infatuated with him. Either that or it was because, you both acknowledge each other's weaknesses and don't abuse it. That could still be infatuation though, and emotions were not your strong suit.

"I didn't expect you to fall at my feet, but I can't say I can complain about the view"

Emotions like this though, were like being slapped in the face, especially when they were being physically shown as well.

"Are you looking for something?" you say in your best customer tone, without a smile.

Thank hell that you were allowed to do that or at best wear a small, polite smile.

It took everything inside of you not to freak out when this creep visibly looked you over like you were a slab of meat, and then licking their lips. What the actual fu-

"I need a bag of rice but I have a problem with my back"

That was a lie, you've had back issues before from overworking yourself, there was nothing wrong with their back. Especially since they were standing at their full height. Unfortunately, you had no choice but to comply.

"Of course, where's your trolley?"

"I don't have one"

Are you freaking real right now? Still, you could work with this "if you don't have a trolley then I can't help you as I have other things to do"

"But I have a back problem" they whined.

"Where's your walker?" you ask as you 'look' for it "I can help get you to it"

"I was hoping you would help me sweety"

And there goes your anxiety trigger "I can't help you, please seek out customer service for more information" you say in reply before 'yeeting' yourself out of there faster than you can say 'supercalifragilisticexpealadocious'.

You don't care if your boss tells you off, there was no way in hell that you were going to spend another second alone with that creep.

Speaking of your boss, it was now time for your break, which meant that you could now look for him and ask if he had any space for someone getting reintroduced to society. But first, you need food.

You head straight for the room you took your breaks in, only one person was in here but it wasn't your boss. He was most likely in his office.

"Aren't you a little early to be taking your break?" your co-worker asked.

"Only by a few minutes" you reply as you head for your food stash "besides, I have a medical issue, I'm allowed to take quick breaks when it becomes too much"

"A lump on your leg doesn't count for a medical issue"

You roll your eyes but stay silent as you sit down and take a bite in your food. Nothing but the sound of a radio playing in the background filled the air as you ate.

It wasn't until you finished your sandwich that the door opened to reveal the man you had planned to look for, kind of odd seeing him in here since he always ate in his office. Unless he was looking for someone.

"Norman, you are supposed to be doing your work, not slacking on the job" he states.

"My knee hurts" Norman whines.

"I'm not your mum, work or leave, you don't see this one complaining" he points to you.

Score one for you. Hypocrite-0.

Norman huffed and left the room, looking completely fine for someone who hurt their knee. Honestly, were people always this whiney? It's no wonder you stuck to yourself and only spoke when spoken to.

"I saw what happened between you and that customer" he states once Norman had left "and no, you aren't in trouble, but you need to make sure that scene doesn't happen again"

You could only look at him dumbfounded, how in the blazes were you supposed to do that when the weirdo wouldn't listen to you?

"I'll be sure to do that" you reply weakly "um, before you leave, I did have something I wanted to ask"

"Fire away"

"Uh, I have a, friend, who came out of an accident with amnesia, I was wondering if there was any room for them to work here"

Silence, your boss looked at you with slow, blinking eyes. And then he laughed as if you had just told him a hilarious joke.

"I thought you didn't have friends, why the sudden change now?"

You didn't, and Ben wasn't someone you considered a friend exactly "people change" was all you could say to him.

"Well, the answer is still no, I don't want an accident to happen"

You were thankful that you didn't get your hopes up too high "alright, sorry to bother you"

You spent the rest of your shift staying silent unless a customer needed help.

When the time finally came for you to clock out, you were out of that door faster than you had ever been, you really didn't care what people thought, you were no longer on the clock and now you could finally focus on what had been bothering you since this morning.

Finding the items that you knew Ben liked and getting them for Christmas presents. The only downside was that a lot of people would be in the main town now, shopping for last-minute things or because they were returning from work. Didn't matter though, you were determined to get every single item on your list even if it killed you.

Okay, maybe that was a bit too dramatic, but you still stand by what you said.

First came the venison, which it turned out you would have to order as only certain shops sold it. Which was good now that you thought about it, it meant that you could order it a few days before Christmas and give it to him as a Christmas dinner surprise. Oh, you were going to love seeing his shocked expression when it happened.

Next was the strongest and what you hoped was the most bitter coffee beans you could buy. Granted you could only buy one bottle for now because you did not want to waste money if it turned out he didn't like it, plus the other items you had in mind might be expensive too.

Which brought you to your next idea, a scrapbook, two different kinds of scrapbooks. The first book would be for pictures he made from either papers you had or he drew himself, so he wouldn't have to ruin his diary, sorry, journal and ruin his flow of words. The second book would be, you guessed it, a picture book, you faintly remember seeing a camera that would be perfect for him to use, the camera would spit out the photos and then he was free to do whatever he wanted with them.

Thank you Christmas bonus was all you could think. There was no way you would have been able to buy all of on your paycheck. Even with the spare money you had in the bank, what little you had left anyway.

Strange how Ben has turned you into a bit of a shopaholic. Lol.

You reframe from getting any more clothing for him, you were lucky to help him last time and you did not want to ruin it now. So you went for getting him a gramophone with a few Jazz records, with the help of the amazing shopkeeper, music genres were not your strong suit and you doubt it ever will.

"We also do deliveries if you're willing to pay a little extra" the worker stated as they helped ring everything up "it changes depending on where you live"

You ask for the price for your location.

"£40, plus extra if you want it delivered tomorrow"

"I was hoping to get it delivered either on Christmas day or before it"

"We don't do deliveries on the holiday, but we should have some room two days before it"

"Could you deliver it then please?" you tell them your address after they ask for it.

"Alright, everything's in, we'll keep it in storage until its time, if anything is damaged upon delivery, simply take a photo of it for proof, show it to us and you can get your money back"

You couldn't stop the relief showing on your face as you thanked the person before leaving the shop. Now Ben had something to listen to that wasn't a radio. Especially if he didn't have the mentality to go out. You speak from experience.

All in all, you had a very good feeling this was going to turn out great.

"Oh my god, you were right, hey gorgeous, want to come with us real humans?"

Oh no. Not your school bullies.

"Nitty Nora, do you still have bugs in those ears?"

By the void their laughter made yours sound normal. So much for going home in a good mood later.

"I told you they would be here, come on gorgeous, want a kiss?"

Don't do anything. Don't say anything. You've done everything you need to here, time to find the bus and get the hell out of here.

"Hey dipsh*t we're talking to you"

You put your earphones in and quickly blast your music so that you couldn't hear their ear-grating voiceboxes.

You have no idea what caused that creepy twat to flip their switch like this and bring those bullies to you, all you did know was that your body reacted like a child screaming 'stranger danger', and that you needed to keep Ben away from them.

You had no idea what would happen if they found out you had someone who was still vulnerable and, quite possibly, easy to manipulate. You would keep Ben safe.

No matter what, Ben was not going to be attacked or controlled by people who only cared about themselves.

Ben's hands waved around trying to keep the mirror from falling from his grip. When he succeeded in keeping it stable, he noticed his reflection had changed into something more, sinister looking. And giving him a cheeky wave.

"It's good to finally see you face to face. Oh, who am I kidding that's not even true" the reflection laughed with a smile that didn't look natural.

It took Ben a few seconds to get his words out "who are you?"

"I do believe we already had this conversation, I am you just as you are me, although I suppose if it will help you cope better, you can call me Al"

"Are you saying you're something my brain made up?" it sounded ridiculous saying it out loud.

"In a fashion, yes" the reflection, Al, replied "we have come a long way in remembering things, however, you have been pushing things away too, right into the blankness of darkness, I am the result" he gestures to himself.

"How would you know that when I didn't?"

Al shrugged "does it really matter?"

"It does when I'm basically talking to a mirror looking like a looney"

Al cackled "perfect choice my friend, but anyway, yes, I am everything you've been trying to ignore in favour of being a goody two shoes for that person that just left, we both know what you really want to do, so why do you hesitate?"

"Hesitate to do what?"

"Why do you hesitate to kill them? You almost did it a few times but always backed off at the last second, blaming it on a sleepwalk"

"Because they have been good to me, they've given me a place to stay and sleep in this world I have no knowledge of" Ben defended "they've helped me get back on my feet"

"Fair enough I suppose, you were basically a vegetable when they found you, you wouldn't have lasted 5 minutes in the open world by yourself, especially when you had to rely on them to calm down"

"Don't remind me" Ben mumbled, looking away from the mirror.

"That's my job, sorry" his smile hadn't changed at all during their 'conversation'.

Ben moved the mirror back on the desk so that he could lie down and look at it, he really didn't feel like moving much today.

"Did you remember to water the plants?" came a cheeky tone.

"I did that before I came up here to hide" Ben whispered "I just, need some time alone"

"You mean block everything 'bad' so you can't get better?"

Ben blinked in confusion "I'm not blocking anything"

Al gestured to himself "this suggests otherwise, now come on, I'm not going to judge you, after all, we are the same person, perhaps saying them out loud will be a lot better than writing them down, books can only do so much, whether it's long or short periods of time"

Was this really a good idea though? Was he finally going insane? Had he finally hit his limit?

"If that were the case then I wouldn't be here" came a reply.

"You aren't going to leave me alone are you?"

"Nope"

Ben silently gulped before cautiously asking "how much of me do you know?"

"You mean besides everything you've pushed back? Everything you know, I know, I am your denial, your habits that feel natural but can't show, everything you have learned during your time here is what I am given form"

"A verbal and half-solid form of a conscience" Ben answered.

"In a manner of speaking, yes, you could say that, I suppose the phrase 'talking to yourself' fits this rather well too"

Ben closed his eyes for a moment "Foxglove isn't going to see you will they?"

"I think you know the answer to that, but if it will make you happy then no, they won't ever see me, unless you decide to make a show out of it"

Ben took a deep breath and slowly exhaled "I can't believe I'm doing this" he mumbled "alright, I, wouldn't say I'm scared of the images I've seen during my time here, but I think that's the reason why I'm trying to ignore them"

"You're afraid of what you're capable of?" despite the strange tone in his voice, Ben, knew? That the reflection was trying to help keep him on the path.

"Yes and no" Ben admitted into the silence of his room "I'm not sure afraid is the right word for it, but it is definitely, concerning that I don't feel anything when I look at the images"

Al was imitating the same position Ben was in the mirror, except his hands were under his chin staring at Ben "and you think this is the reason to why you've been trying to block it out and keep it away from Foxglove?"

"I don't know what to think anymore" Ben admitted quietly "I know in my heart what those red patches were, I know that I was a hunter from the images of the gun in my hand and broken antler lodged in a tree..."

"But..." Al gently pushed.

Ben gulped as the words froze in his throat.

"If you keep denying it Ben, you are never going to heal, I know you're in denial right now, you're practically shaking on the inside, you need to admit it out loud before you can move on from it, denying it will only make things worse in the long run"

Ben briefly remembers Foxlove telling him that forcing memories would make things worse for him, would it still apply if he kept pushing things back?

"Why do you hesitate now Ben?" Al cooed darkly.

"Because saying it out loud makes it true, I don't want it to be true" Ben whispered desperately.

"It was always true from the very beginning Ben, this is merely you trying to get over the barrier that's stopping you from progressing"

Say it Ben. Say the words that have been the cause of your woes.

"Delay it all you want Ben, but it will only hurt you in the end, I know this" the figure leaned closer "YOU know this"

He could lose Foxglove's friendship if they ever found out.

"Something is telling me those red markings were not left by an animal" he admitted quietly.

"What do you think those splotches of red 'paint' really were?"

Red paint slid down the corpse's body, still fresh and looking lovely in the snow.

"It's blood"

He didn't see the mirror lean closer to him "and?"

"And what?"

"Come now Ben, your a smart man, you know that wasn't the only thing I was implying about, where was the blood coming from?"

"A corpse"

"What kind of corpse? There are many forms of bodies all over the world, what kind of body was it?"

Ben could feel his chest tightening as he tried pathetically to block the image he had been trying to ignore for a while.

Hair spread out almost looking like a halo and limbs spread out at odd angles as he used the shovel to dig a hole in the ground.

"Human" Ben chocked as he curled into himself as his brain threatened to explode from the pressure "I was burying a human body somewhere"

That rush of adrenaline, the sight of the knife, hammer, and any other weapon that could pierce or rupture an artery, brake their ribs and lungs... it was... h34v3n.

He should be scared, he should be ashamed that he had done that before he lost his memories. But he didn't. He didn't feel anything.

Except for a jolt in his heart, one that yearned for another scenario like that to happen. He knew that feeling, as it was a similar sensation he felt when Foxglove returned from work.

Excitement. Happiness.

"You may be sick mother, but even you deserve a treat like everyone else."

10V3.

He was so deep in his thoughts that he never heard the door open and slam shut, footsteps running up the stairs into a room, followed by muffled screaming and crying.