You ever fell in love? Of course you have. I'd like to argue that you haven't felt the love that I did. I'd say that you haven't fell in love the way I have. I've felt a love no one else has in this entire world. That is how strongly I loved this person. It felt like the kind of love worth waiting for. It felt like if I knew I had to wait a thousand years for this person, it would've been worth it. If I had not fallen in love at all or gone through a thousand heartbreaks to get to this person. I would be ok with it. It felt like my love for him was better than anyone else who's ever loved anyone.

He was cute. When I first saw him that's what I'd thought. I also thought that he was just like the other boys. You know the ones that don't take girls seriously. They flirt around and  don't take relationship into serious consideration. Not taking a girl seriously. It seems all they want was the stereotypical ones. The ones that other guys would fall for easily. You know. The ones that the cute guys fall for, but he was different.

He wasn't looking just for any girl. He was looking for something. As if he knew what he wanted? As if he was prince charming looking for his princess. As if he wanted to be that prince for a girl who would want to do the same. As if he was this sweet romantic guy. He wasn't doing it for the charm. He was more than that. This cute guy who was introverted didn't have an ego, but he was humble. He has his insecurities and it was cute. He was also confident but not overly confident. It was so different to what I'd ever encounter. From what I had known a cute guy to be like. He was that guy. For the first time in my life I had asked how something so normal be so rare. He was beautiful.

The more and more I got to know him the more warmer I felt. It was a strange and foreign feeling. I thought I knew what love was. Every time I'd develop a crush I'd thought one was stronger than the other, but it was different. It felt like it was stronger than any love I had ever felt. It remained that way ever since. As if his brightness became brighter.  It felt like I had met someone who understood me. His presence felt like I was looking at a garden of colorful flowers. As if the future with him was unquestionably good. I couldn't help but feel more. He wouldn't flirt with anyone else. It made me feel attracted to him. He wasn't easily fooled by the charm or beauty. He was looking for more. The smart, loyal and kind girl. It felt I had found a gem. I got sucked in to him. I wanted to be that girl that would be with him forever. The one he would fall in love with. The one he wanted to spend his time with. I felt I could be the best girl for him in the world because how I cared for him. I knew that if I was his girl I'd love him like no other can.

The way I had felt was like a day where you didn't want it to end. As sweet as you grandmothers love. As sweet as honey. I found myself attracted to him in ways I have never felt before and haven't since. I couldn't help but write letters, songs and poems about him. Even if years had gone by. I thought I'd cry about a boy a lot before, but crying about this one was different. It felt like I had lost something that would never return to me. When I had looked at the ocean. It was him I saw. When I saw the mountains and a blue sky. It was him I saw. When I thought of marriage it was him I saw. When I thought about love I thought about him. Nothing could replace that. No one could make me as happy.

He would cross my mind. It had felt like I found something so wonderful. Meeting a guy like that was like hitting the lotto. If bad days were to come I wouldn't mind because I had him. I would have him and everything will be ok. I would say his soul is what captivated me the most. My very core insecurities had vanished completely. It was probably from how reassuring he is with himself. From his loyalty as a single guy. His faithfulness. It was more than hypnotizing. It felt like I was looking at something good. He was genuinely good.

When I had lost him and became distant I was hurt, but I'd loved him enough to let him go. I'd loved myself to say there would be another. It was hard to imagine there could be another person who could have felt this way about. It felt like there wasn't going to be someone as beautiful as him with a soul much more beautiful.
As time flew by and we grew apart. As we parted ways. I couldn't help wonder what he was doing at moments I was doing activities he would do. Even if it were different day, time and place.

I wonder if I'll ever be able to love like that again. I'd start to fix my hair a bit and put on a little of makeup. Do my nails.