"How're you feeling, doll? You get a touch of sun stroke?" Marlene clicked her tongue as she sucked a sweet.

"Flu bug, only lasted a few days, I'm fine," I smiled hastily. "Thanks."

"Ooh that's good, so you'll still make it to Nicky Rotten's later tonight?" A vague recollection of a conversation flittered by in my mind. It was... retirement drinks, no, engagement drinks-

"Missing my birthday celebration is considered a very serious offence here, just so you know. Gloria, Barbs, Maria, Celia, they're all coming. Nicky Rotten's is the best night out on the island, probably more for you young things than us old gals. Lots of the young hip crowd," she swayed her hips and laughed heartily.

"Sounds fun," I grinned. "Do you need to know for the reservation? I have to see..."

"You check with your man, honey, that's okay," Marlene flipped her hand and wandered back to her desk. She had never asked me about Jase, not properly. She'd made comments before, a giggle about my chauffer, a passing exclamation of lust when he'd come inside to use the bathroom, but never any questions. I thought perhaps she assumed I was in some kind of controlling relationship, not entirely untrue by any means. But she seemed to understand it somehow, not being phased by his timely pick ups, drop offs or watchful presence when he had to wait.

Drinks, unchaperoned, off the base... there was a lurch of anxiety as I contemplated it. It would only be unchaperoned if Jase was unaware I had left, not entirely unfeasible now he was intent on separating himself from me as much as possible. I'd wanted to confront him yesterday after the conversation with Lorres, and ask him why he'd kept the proposal from me. But as usual, as soon as I began to speak within the confines of the car he shut me down, disinterestedly stating we'd talk about it back at the apartment. The moment never came. His phone rang the second we got in the door and I didn't see him for the rest of the day. I stuck to my room, doing a light work out, reading a little and watching TV. He stuck to his room, the shared space utterly deserted with neither one of us willing to be in contact with the other. I felt oddly lonely, more than ever. His suffocating presence was isolating, sure, but I'd grown to take comfort in knowing somebody else was there, present in mind and body. Now, aloof and absent, he'd found new ways to ensure I felt uncomfortable.

The working day drew to a close early, Marlene eager to leave and ready herself.

"Seven o'clock doll, if I see you there I see you there, you won't miss us," she winked and trotted out of the building. When Jase arrived, prompt as ever, we shared no small talk and let the buzz of the radio fill the silence between us. The drive back was quick again, the diversions had lengthened our morning commute and made the afternoon one significantly easier. If there are no phone interruptions, you're going to ask him, I reminded myself, his unwillingness to pass on an important opportunity for me had festered in my brain, I was becoming more and more cross about it.

As we concealed ourselves in the solitude of the apartment I seized the opportunity before he could stalk off to his room for a shower, knowing once he holed himself in there it was likely I wouldn't catch him again.

"Why didn't you pass on Lorres' offer about the analyst position?" I asked, my pitch firm and strong. Jase stopped as he reached the kitchen, a near invisible sigh escaping his lips.

"Because it's a bad idea," he stated flatly, his voice low and bored. He looked at me for a moment, the first time I think since before I'd projectile vomited an emotional outburst in front of him.

"For whom?" I challenged, fixing an expression of mock confusion across my face.

"We're not going to do this-"

"Do what?" I raised my voice a little, a ball of rage stirring in my belly. "Why is it a bad idea?"

"You don't want to work for the agency," Jase shook his head ambiguously, pinching the bridge of his nose in irritation.

"What if I do? Do you know what a good opportunity that is for me? And what business is it of yours to decide whether or not it's a good idea?" I quizzed hotly, feeling redness rise to my skin in a flush of anger and frustration.

"It's my business because I'm assigned to keep you safe, working with the agency could be counter productive to that," Jase spoke slowly in a lazy, bored tone.

"The agency are the ones that assigned you to that position! If they thought it was unsafe for whatever reason then why would Lorres ask me to join?" I pressed, knowing he was hiding some conspiracy he refused to admit out loud. "Or is this all because if I take that job you'll have to find someone else to torment?"

Jase stood still for a pregnant pause, the silence my words had induced flooding the room with discomfort. He tapped his finger against his hip softly and pressed his lips together in decision.

"I'm going to the gym," he declared quietly, swishing past me without a second glance and letting the door slam shut behind him. I wasn't surprised by his unwillingness to have an actual discussion with me like a grown up, but his walk out was unexpected. I stood in the same spot for some time, stunned by his sudden abandonment, until I realised that without him, I had the freedom to leave without fear of being stopped- but you need to be quick...

I got ready with impressive speed, choosing the same white dress I'd worn to the first lunch with Rob and Ant in the city but adding a heeled sandal for a dressier effect. I applied light lashings of makeup to my face, wanting impulsively to look attractive and put together rather than the unassuming attention phobic style I usually went for. I pulled my hair out of the pony tail, soft dark waves cascading and accentuating the simple but effective appearance I'd constructed. I looked nice, I felt nice. People will look.

Before I gave myself time to chicken out I scrawled another note and left it next to the kettle, somewhere Jase wouldn't immediately venture to. I closed my bedroom door, so when he returned he'd probably think I was holed up behind it. With a second glance back to the precautions I'd taken, I left.

I needed to use the car; I had a spare key fob "in case of any emergencies" and had driven it before, after all. I didn't fancy the idea of a taxi with some unknown stranger, and by taking it I could slow Jase down if he did decide to come after me. There were no obstacles standing in the way now of me going- only my fear of the repercussions. There's nothing he can do to you that he hasn't already done.

I filtered towards the bridge in the slow torrent of evening traffic, giddy on a high of disbelief. Sure, I'd been cautiously rebellious before, but never to this extent. Jase would be furious, but I wasn't entirely sure I cared. It hit me then, stuck in the cortege of vehicles. The moment Jase had slammed the door I barely allowed myself a moment to digest the fact that he'd actually left. Why is that bothering you so much? It was some hideous side effect of living under his clutches in the strange control dynamic. I resented him, feared him, hated him, and he'd become the constant in my life without which I felt perilously unstable. It was one thing for me to evade him, to pull away from his oppressive regime. But was there a part of me that did it in the comfort of knowing he would be there when I returned?

The car snaked across the bridge and on to the island, curling towards Third Street until I turned right and headed for the view of the sea and the San Diego skyline beyond it. The few restaurants and bars along here were spilling out into the sidewalk, abundant outdoor seating and crowds of friends meeting and greeting adorning the concrete. With luck a parking spot grabbed my attention only three buildings from the bar and I swerved in, stopping the engine and levelling myself for a moment. You can just leave if you don't like it. Marlene would be there, and she was so maternal I found it hard to believe I would ever feel uncomfortable around her. I knew the other women, they worked as secretaries or clerks in other offices in the building, popping in every now and then to share gossip or baked goods. All you have to do is walk in, and then you're there. So I did.

The bar was loud and nearly full to capacity, wait staff swerving around people to bring large trays brimming with burgers and beers to crowded tables. I thought I could see the back of Marlene's head, the bouffant even taller in it's party setting further towards the back of the building. There were a lot of people to walk through and I was already in the way as more patrons bustled in behind me. Walk. I forced my legs forward, smiling appreciatively as a man moved his chair aside with a nod and dashing smile.

"Hey-" a voice called and a hand reached my arm. I was about to yank back in fevered terror before I realised it was Jack, his forehead shiny with perspiration, shirt undone to his chest and a lazy blear in his eyes.

"Jack," I said in surprise, feeling the imprint of sweat his hand had left behind.

"You're all dolled up, is Jason supervising a date?" He lurched forward slightly as he tried to speak above the surrounding chatter.

"I'm here with Marlene and some of the other women from the building," I explained. If regular unintoxicated Jack was a bit of an arsehole, this guy was sure to be much worse.

"Ahhh escaped the babysitter?!" He smiled broadly.

"No, he's here... somewhere," I replied vaguely. It suddenly dawned on me that skipping out alone may not only get me into trouble, but Jase too.

"Hey, who's your friend?" A sweaty grinning man launched himself at Jack's back, resting his forearms on his shoulders.

"This is Paige," Jack waved his hands as though he was introducing a creation of his own. "She..." he thought for a second, realising even in his drunken stupor that he couldn't reveal exactly how he knew me. "Is my latest project. She's doing very well," he slurred. The back of my neck prickled in repugnance.

"I've got to meet-" I began and quickly immersed myself in a crowd of people, hearing Jack and his friend continue to discuss his 'project'. I realised if I wanted to work with Lorres I'd have to suffer Jack too, maybe even as his direct subordinate. I didn't like to imagine how insufferable he would be as a manager.

"Darlin'!" Marlene cried as I approached their table, relieved to see friendly faces. I was less than five minutes in and I'd already had an unpleasant situation. I'd give Marlene an hour, maybe less, and then get going. "Honey I'm glad you made it," she pulled me into a tight hug, the smell of her overzealously spritzed perfume and hairspray flooding my nostrils. I issued friendly hellos to everybody at the table and sat awkwardly, fully underestimating in my impulsiveness just how uncomfortable I would feel. You're alone here. If something happened, no one would understand.

"A round of shots on me girls, a round of shots on me," Barbara sidled up to the table with a tray full of shots. "Paige I'm sorry, I didn't think you'd be coming," she groaned apologetically.

"No, no, that's fine thank you. I don't think I could do a shot anyway," I smiled politely.

"Don't you love the way she says shot with that British voice? Ahh- what a doll," Marlene patted my cheek affectionately. "But you're having a shot, it's my birthday, and I'll cry if you don't all do what I say, HA!" She squealed and pushed a small glass of clear liquor towards me.

"Believe me it's easier to just do as she says and then nobody get's hurt," Gloria leaned in and murmured in my ear, smiling with wide eyes as she tipped the shot into her mouth.

It could calm your nerves, take the edge off a bit. It could also get you very drunk very quickly and leave you in a vulnerable state. My heart drummed anxiously as I threw the liquid down my throat, settling myself with a gentle exhale.

"Cocktails! You need a cocktail- Paige you need one- come to the bar with me honey, I'll bet you get served faster than I do." Marlene hustled us over to the bar to retrieve drinks, the hurried energy of the whole evening weighing on me with a sickly fluttering in my stomach.

I gave the night forty five minutes before I tentatively mentioned I'd have to get going shortly, citing an early gym class as my reason and apologising profusely to Marlene, who'd exclaimed and fussed and berated me for 'putting abs above a good time'. Two missed calls from Jase flashed on the screen of my phone, suddenly prompting the desire to leave the bar and drive the car somewhere else, somewhere away from civilisation.

I made my third round of apologies and said goodbye, pressing a card with a gift certificate into Marlene's lap which she accepted with a sentimental tear.

"You're all so good to me-" she began as I delivered a half wave to the rest of the table and started to force my way through the thicket of people. It was nearly nine o'clock, the evening peak in full swing and becoming louder. I was glad to be leaving, but now a bolt of anxiety shot through me as I contemplated what Jase might say, what he might do-

"Paige!" A voice hollered, the drunk friend of Jack's swerving in front of my path. "You're not going?" He quizzed, shaking his head in mock confusion.

"I am, I-"

"Well you have to have a drink with us! Any friend of Jack's... It's my buddy's bachelor party- he's over here, come and say hi- Seth!" He placed a possessive hand on my arm and pulled me towards his group of friends.

"Look what the cat dragged back!" Jack emerged, the gap between his nose and lip slick with sweat and poorly aimed drinks. "You gonna have a drink with us?"

"I really have to-"