a/n I'M BACK. literally arrived at 1:00 this morning and got home almost an hour later. I KOed right when I got home and woke up at 12:00 in the afternoon. Definitely had to sleep. I hope everyone had a nice week and weekend. I had fun on my trip, but missed out on so much. I'm looking at social media and am seeing so many moments of the boys. They are so amazing.

oh and this pic of mark...all of his pics from the magazine.. 

hot damn.... his everything.....look at the biceps, the forearms, the hands, fingers, lips, nose, eyes, brows, hair, cheek bones, jawline, chin, body....can I have him yet?

here's a little filler, since I wrote this really quick to let you guys know I'm alive.

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"That night was suppose to solve problem within the group," I say softly as I play with the bottom of my shirt.

"Sometimes there aren't solutions to things," Mark sighs. "Look, as far as I know, there has been a little more interactions between them. Don't get your hopes up. Just because they're fine one moment doesn't mean they will be fine completely."

"I know," I sigh.

"Aww don't pout. Chris, I know you want everyone to be happy and always together, but it doesn't always happen," he tries to comfort me.

"I wish you were here," I mumble. I hear him sigh.

"I do too," he says. "We're going to be busy with concerts so I can't say that I'll be home soon."

"I know. I want you to do well with every concert you have. Your fans all love and support you guys with whatever you do," I tell him.

"They're what keeps us going. We wouldn't be here without them," he adds. "Even if we don't have a large fanbase here in Korea, the fans overseas are beyond what we could imagine."

"I know. It's amazing how diverse your fanbase is," I agree. I look over at the clock and groan. "I have to leave soon."

"You haven't left yet?" He asks surprised.

"When we made the call I still had a couple hours. Now I have a little more than an hour, but I need it for transportation," I explain.

"We can stay on the phone till you get there," he suggests.

"True. I'll just put in my earphones," I agree as I start gathering my things. "How are things there?"

"It's okay. We're all just resting and doing our own thing," he says.

"So everyone is either snacking, sleeping, or working out?" I ask. I plug in my earphones and put them on. Making sure I have everything, I head out to catch the next bus.

"Basically," he responds. "How come you don't try to get your license?"

"Never thought I'd really need it, plus I'm not really in a position to buy a car," I answer.

"Makes sense," he says quietly. "But taking the bus isn't easy either, right?"

"Public transportation is never easy. It's basically me fixing my time to their time and even then it's sometimes not the same time," I say. I lean against the wall of the bus stop and wait for my bus. "At least I learn more of my way around by taking the bus. It's also cheaper than taxi, so there's not that much harm."

"How do you do it when you have a lot of stuff with you?" he asks.

"Well, like the times I brought to your dorm. I just carry it. I'm lucky to have gone during times that were not busy. When I buy groceries for my place I usually buy it gradually," I explain. "My usual things like toiletries have their own schedule. Groceries on the other hand vary, so every few days I visit the market and buy whatever I remember."

"Sounds tiring," he mumbles. I hear him shift and I can imagine him just laying on his bed.

"That's adult life," I sigh. "Your lifestyle isn't any better."

"Yeah, but it's fun to just stand on stage and interact with fans," he says.

"Whether or not something is fun, it is still tiring," I say. My bus comes and I tap my bag before finding a seat. "No seats."

"Make sure to hold on," he instructs me.

"I know," I sigh.

"It can be tiring, but it's worth it," he says softly.

"I'm sure it is. That's how I feel about hosting," I say. "It's a lot less work than yours, but it's definitely tiring to keep the same tone for hours."

"I'm glad you got that job."

"Me too. I couldn't stand how it was before," I confess.

"Would you have gone back?" I bite my lip as the answer comes quickly to mind.

"Probably." There's silence "I would have tried it out for a little bit, but I saw no future here I would have gone back."

"I'm really, really, really glad you got that job," he emphasizes. I chuckle and shake my head. Run my hand through my hair. I feel the ends have become dry and suddenly think if I should cut it.

"I have a question."

"Hm?" he hums. I hear him shift and I imagine him sitting up.

"When you guys change your hair do you guys choose your hair or is it like decided for you?" I ask. He chuckles as he hears my question.

"You always have the weirdest train of thought," he says in amazement.

"So?" I urge ignoring the hidden insult.

"They have suggestions and we can say whether or not we want to dye our hair," he answers. I nod and then a thought comes to mind.

"So you agreed to have your hair like that during the A era? And Your debut?" I try and hold my laughter.

"Hey, my debut hair wasn't that bad," he trails off in thought.

"A was bad though," I say cringing at the image.

"Only for the music video and when I still had the perm," he tries to defend himself.

"Mhm.." I hum not believing him.

"Anyway, why are you asking about this?" He chuckles. "Do you want to change your hair or something?"

"My hair is turning dry at the ends. I need to cut it or something," I tell him. "Dye it or just cut it?"

"I like your hair long though," He says. He shifts positions.

"I'm not going to cut it ridiculously short. It's going to get hot soon, so shouldn't I cut it at least?" I ask. I just about reach my stop and move towards the door.

"When you do this can I be there?" he requests.

"Of course. When will you be back though?" The bus stops and the doors open. "I just reached my stop."

"Uhm," he thinks. "Pretty sure in a week or so. That's good. Make sure to watch where you are going and be safe crossing streets."

"Okay, just let me know when so I can set up a time. Always, Mark. Always," I nod. I walk down and am sure all is free when crossing the street to head to the studio.

"Perfect. I think you're hair would look nice as a reddish-brown color," he tells me. I look at my hair and wonder what would make him think that. The only colors I've done is my natural dark brown hair and a lighter brown. I've done full color, highlights, and ombres.

"Full on?" I ask as I enter my building. I bow and greet the front desk and head towards the elevators. "I'll be on the elevator, so if I get cut off, that's why."

"Alright. Yeah, I think it'd look nice. We'll see more when we're actually at the salon. You can go to the one we go to for our hair. I might get some highlights done," he says. "Oh did I tell you, I'm going on Law of the Jungle?"

"You?!" I ask surprised. Some people had turned around and I quickly apologize quickly changing to a softer tone. "I don't see it, why?"

"Well, since we debuted, variety shows become more apparent in schedules. Since Jackson already went, I thought why not. I think it will be fun. I think we're going to New Zealand," he goes on about it and I can tell how excited he is.

"Just stay safe," I say quietly. I know it will be a fun experience, but many have gotten hurt from going and I want him to stay safe.

"I will, don't worry, Chris. I got this," he tries to reassure me. I get to my floor and drop off my stuff at the room just outside the main studio room. "Are you there?"

"Yeah, just got here," I tell him. I look at the clock and find myself having a few more minutes to talk on the phone. "A few more minutes before I go on."

"Alright, gotta make it worth it then," he chuckles. I roll my eyes and and hum.

"What time do you guys have rehearsal?" I ask heading into the main room. I take my seat and wave at the writers and the PD. They hand me the script and I read it over as I continue my talk with Mark.

"Not for a while. I'll probably take a nap before. Our concert is tomorrow, so I want to be ready to jump around stage and meet the fans," he tells me.

"I'm sure they'd want to see that. You really love your fans, don't you?" I find that I am actually having a time to talk with listeners and take requests.

"Of course I love them. Although there aren't many, we've been blessed to even have any. To get to our fourth year is already a big accomplishment. We need to work hard for everyone who has given us this chance." I admire his affection for his fans. He was never one to express much, but ever since starting this, I've seen him grow even more. He's more capable and more out there. He really is giving his all for his fans.

"I'm proud of you, Mark," I say. He's quiet and I smile. "I really am. You don't even know how much."

"Thank you, Chris. I'm really happy to have you by my side," he finally says. "I promise to treat you right."

"Treat your fans right and you'll do me right. I am your number one fan," I smile. He chuckles.

"Of course."

"I'll hold you too it," I chuckle. "I have to go now, Mark."

"Awww," he whines. He sighs, "Alright. I guess I'll talk to you next time. Good luck with the show and I know you will do well."

"Thank you. Do well yourself."

"Bye, Chris..." he trails.

"Bye, Mark..." I copy him. He stays quiet and I raise a brow. "Have something else to say?"

"Love you." Before I could even respond he hangs up like a prepubescent boy. I chuckle and send him a text.

'I love you too :*'