Chapter Nineteen

“Can I ask you something?” I asked tentatively, and when Shiloh didn’t contest, I took her silence as her agreement. “What do you need me to do?”

She turned to me, and although her expression was vacant, there was a curiosity in the way she moved her head. “There is nothing I require from you at this moment.”

“That’s not what I mean.” I shook my head and tried again. “Let’s say, hypothetically, that I was to commit one hundred percent to training. What would you need me to do?”

“This is a precarious situation,” Shiloh remarked, and she rose from her seated position. “You are human and therefore, unable to fully commit to our proper training methods. That being said, were I to modify the ancient ways, there is a possibility that you could still reach your potential. However, I will not do so without a full commitment, which means the forfeiting of all your human ties.”

I nodded. “You mean school and work?”

Her gaze sharpened. “As well as your human relationships.”

I felt my expression change, and with good reason. Hearing the story of Shiloh and the massacre of her younglings had overwhelmed me, and I had momentarily disregarded my obligations to my family. As I considered the ramifications of abandoning them, I realized how potentially bad that could be. After all, Renee had Phil, but Charlie had no one. Just thinking of him made me cringe in emotional pain. We had just reconnected on the phone, and the distance that I had forced between us, both literal and physical, was starting to dissipate. I was even considering visiting him after I graduated. Could I really sever connections with my family in the blink of an eye? Could I vanish from their lives forever?

Shiloh was watching me with passive curiosity. “Family is important to humans, is it not?”

I hunched forward and stared at the floor. “I didn’t realize how important they were until recently. I’m sorry for being so difficult, Shiloh, but I can’t just can’t up and abandon them.”

There was a slight pressure on my shoulder, and I looked up to find Shiloh staring down at me, her hand on me. “I will not pretend that I understand what you are feeling. I recognized that plucking you from humanity would cause potentially hazardous outcomes. Therefore, you may retain your ties to your family as long as they do not interfere with your training.”

I smiled, relieved. “Thank you.”

“Please bear in mind that should you decide to join us,” Shiloh added, “this will no longer be an option. You will be mandated to sever.”

“I understand,” I answered, nodding profusely. “Thank you, Shiloh.”

She inclined her head slightly. “The question remains: do you wish to commit to our training?”

The idea of walking away from my education felt taboo, but there was also a sense of relief tied to it. There would be no more tests, no more gym classes, and no more mindless, repetitive homework problems. I would be free to focus my energies on other tasks, ones that required brawn instead of brains. Could I do it? Could I walk away from something that had been my safety blanket for so long?

Shiloh turned away from me. “Perhaps we should discuss this at another time.”

“No,” I insisted, rising from the couch immediately. “That’s not necessary. I know what I need to do. It just feels strange to me. I’ve always been a relatively perfect student. It’s one of the few consistencies in my life. Walking away from my education is…well, it’s hard.”

“You will still be a student, Bella,” Shiloh said as she approached me. “Instead of studying the laws and culture of humans, you will be learning our ways and methods. In addition, Declan has agreed to keep your absences unnoticed.”

I couldn’t fight the smile that surfaced when I remembered that Declan, Shiloh’s second-in-command was my principal. He could easily manipulate the attendance count if need be. It was immoral, and yet, I was glad.

Looking around the Walkers’ den, I asked myself if I could really go through with it. Could I commit to learning how to hunt vampires? The very idea was scandalous to me, almost as though I were betraying the Cullens. I would not be hunting them directly, but stalking others of their kind seemed like a close second. Did I really have it in me to kill something?

Shiloh must have sensed by nervousness, because she stepped closer to me. “You are strong enough, Bella.”

I looked up, shocked and moved by her words. “I am?”

She nodded. “You have my utmost confidence, as well as that of the others. Collin, Riklin, Tobin, Una, Nora, and Declan all believe you will succeed.”

I was floored by what Shiloh had said, and I took a moment to reel in my emotions. I had ultimately decided that the majority of the Walkers were neutral in regards to me. The fact that they were actually rooting for me to become like them, filled me with a warm feeling. Edward had been so against me becoming like him, even going so far as to suck the venom from my wrist, but maybe that was how it was meant to be. Maybe I wasn’t meant to be a vampire. Was it possible? Was this what I was meant to do? 

“I’ll do it,” I said slowly, and as the reality sank in, a large smile spread across my face. “I want to do it. I want to commit to this.”

Shiloh nodded. “As my fledgling, I will hold you to your word, and I will use all my power to help you in your endeavor.”

“Great,” I answered, excitement boiling beneath my skin. “When do we start?”

She crossed to the door and opened it, before turning back to me and saying, “Now.”

-

-

-

I had thought that I knew what tired really was. There was a time when Renee had kept me awake for almost thirty-six hours, and my little, ten-year-old eyebrows had felt as though they were being pulled by twenty pound weights. Then again, there were the days following the incident with Edward. I had stayed awake for almost two days, too afraid of the nightmares to find any rest. However, as I tried, once again, to climb a giant tree in under five seconds, I realized that anything before this was mere child’s play.

My hands dug into the exterior of the tree, splitting the trunk beneath their strength and pushing my body farther up. Unfortunately, a thick branch snapped free and swatted me across the face. The shock of the impact jarred my concentration, and I found myself falling backward. I hit the ground with a heavy thud and groaned as the mud dampened by jeans.

Shiloh appeared over me and merely said, “Again.”

I gave no protestation. I rose to my feet, walked to the base of the tree, and tried again. This time, I managed to get all the way to the top, but it was still too slow.

“There is no hesitation,” Shiloh’s voice rang through the air, as I deftly moved up the trunk again. “There are no second chances. There is no uncertainty. Your reactions must be immediate, instinctive, fluid.”

I reached up and gripped a branch, but it was wet, and my fingers slid away. My body flailed as I tumbled through the air, but instead of waiting for the earth to find me, I curled my body inward. I flipped a few times but managed to level out in time to land on the balls of my feet.

“Very good.” Shiloh nodded appreciatively, and I beamed. Then, she pointed up and added, “Again.”

The constant up and down continued on through the night. By the time the sun’s rays started to color the sky, I was able to ascend a tree in less than three seconds, and elegantly dismount with a series of spins and flips. I was pleased with the progress I had made.

“You have done well,” Shiloh remarked as I approached her, and she bent at the waist. I recognized the bow she gave me. It signified dismissal. “Be at leisure.”

With that, she turned and started heading in the opposite direction.

“Shiloh?” I called after her, feeling somewhat panicked, and she stopped. “How am I going to get home?”

She did not turn, but I still heard her. “You shall run home.”

“I shall…what?” I couldn’t believe what I had just heard. “You’re joking, right?”

“You shall run home,” she repeated. “I shall come to you in eight hours time for your next lesson.”

I started to contest again, but before I could utter a word, she was gone. She had vanished into the shadows, leaving me standing in a mixture of shock, anger, and fear. The woods creaked and chirped in an unfriendly way. I gasped as the shadows began to look slightly more menacing than they had previously. My chest started to constrict, and I felt as though I was gasping for breath. I instinctively felt my body cringing toward the ground, wanting to curl up and disappear. Why had Shiloh left me? Why hadn’t she waited for me? Was she abandoning me?

It didn’t take long for me to realize what was happening. The parallels between my current predicament and the incident a couple months ago in Forks were not lost on me. I refused to sink to that level. I would not lose myself again. It was not going to happen. Not again.

“NO!”

My voice was foreign to me. It was definitely my voice, but there was an unfamiliar edge to it, something that made it sound more like a snarl than an actual voice. That wasn’t all, though. I wasn’t nervous. There was no anxiety in my entire body. Instead, I was angry.

“Get a grip, Bella.” I growled. “Now is not the time to fall apart.”

As I stared into the near endless sea of green and brown, I felt something click into place. I couldn’t always rely on others. Sooner or later, I would have to take a leap of faith and do things on my own. With that in mind, I thought back to all the times I had spent around Collin, as well as the Cullens. Whenever any of them had tried to find something, they would use their power of smell. I turned my nose to the air and inhaled deeply, tasting the scents of the forest. While my sense of smell was nowhere near as strong as the Walkers or the Cullens, it was powerful enough to help me follow Shiloh’s trail.

Shiloh had a remarkably pleasant scent; it reminded me of freshly dried, hot laundry. I closed my eyes and let my nostrils guide me. Unfortunately, they took pleasure in leading me directly into trees, bushes, and rocks. After I stubbed my toe, I made the decision to keep my eyes open. It didn’t take me long to find my way back to the Walkers’ underground home, but I was annoyed to find it empty. I called out into the surrounding trees, hoping that one of them was lingering nearby, but nothing happened.  

I breathed out a heavy sigh and looked bleakly at the dirt road in the distance. There was no other option. I would have to find my way home.

The dirt road stretched in either direction and disappeared in the distance. I remembered all the times I had been brought to this spot, and I eagerly turned right. My pace began at an even trot, but I soon picked up my speed and started sprinting. Dust and tiny stones flew up as I hurried through uneven stretches and ducked out of sight of oncoming cars. After two minutes of this, I found myself on the side of a familiar highway.

I took a moment to catch my breath and massage my throbbing muscles. While my time spent training with Collin had improved my muscular strength and endurance, I still got relatively winded if I didn’t take breaks. I also used the opportunity to read the closest sign to me to get my bearings. Where on Earth was I?

“You are going the wrong way,” a familiar, sarcastic voice retorted behind me, and I turned to find Una leaning against a tree. She was scowling at me and shaking her head. In an elegant sweep of her hand, she pointed in the opposite direction. “That is where you should be heading.”

 “Oh,” I muttered as I noticed a sign that stated Jacksonville was twenty miles away. The sun was almost beginning to peak in the distance, so I knew I had to hurry. I had to be home before Renee and Phil woke up. “Thanks.”

“No problem,” she answered nonchalantly.

I shuffled past her, trying to quell the embarrassment I felt. Of all the Walkers, I was certain that Una liked me the least. She always seemed to treat me as a nuisance, whether intentional or not. Even now, as I glanced back at her, she looked as though she was put out by having to help me. She had probably never had to help any of the others.

That thought made me feel insecure, and I stopped walking.

“Is everything all right?” I heard her call, no amount of curiosity or concern apparent in her voice. When I didn’t answer, she appeared by my side. “What is wrong?”

I shrugged. “I’m sorry that you have to help me find my way. I know you must have better things to do.”

“That is very possible,” she remarked emotionlessly, briefly reminding me of Shiloh, but her vacant expression peeled away, revealing something resembling concern. “I do not mind helping you, though.”

Surprised, I whispered, “Really?”

“Not at all,” she confirmed, and a tiny smile appeared on her face. “I find your company rather… interesting.”

Her strange turn in attitude confused me, but I wasn’t about to look a gift horse in the mouth. I also knew that the more I dawdled, the more likely I was to run into Renee when I got home. It was time to focus.

“Thank you for your help,” I said graciously. “I should probably head home.”

“Would you like a guide?” Una offered. “I will be heading into the city anyway. It would be wonderful not to do so alone. I am also in the possession of four wheels and an engine.”

I frowned, trying not to think of the illegal means Una had utilized to procure whatever vehicle she was talking about. “That’s very considerate, but Shiloh told me I had to run home.”

“Really? That is impressive,” she commented with raised eyebrows. “Well, may I join you?”

“Um, yeah,” I mumbled, lowering my eyes. “I mean, I’m not as fast as you. So you’ll probably be bored.”

“Doubtful,” she responded with a wave of her hand. “Now, shall we begin?”

Knowing that I couldn’t talk her out of this decision, I merely kept my mouth shut and nodded. As we started moving, I said a silent prayer to anyone who was listening. Please, please, don’t let me fall flat on my face.

Una was faster than me. I couldn’t imagine how she moved her legs with such blinding speed, but it was beyond me. I tried to put extra force behind my strides, but it was useless. No matter what I did, I couldn’t catch up. I was distracted only momentarily, because as I cast my attention to the forest beside us, I was in awe.

I could finally comprehend why Edward never hit the trees when he ran—a question that had always been somewhat of a mystery to me. Running at this speed, even though it was probably only a fraction of his capable velocity, was a peculiar sensation. While I sped over, under, and through multiple obstacles, I could plainly see each tiny leaf on all the small branches of every insignificant shrub that I passed. While my vision wasn’t crystal clear, and I had to try hard to focus on certain things, it was an improvement from my normal, twenty-twenty, human vision.

The warm, humid air blew through my hair and filled me with a sense of rejuvenation.

Una led us away from the highway, which was becoming more congested with cars, and navigated us through the trees beside the road. We ran, side by side, through the forest. It was exhilarating. Over the sound of my laughter, I could have sworn that I heard Una chuckling as well. When I looked to her, she became stone-faced and hurried ahead of me.

Deer and small game animals scampered out of the way as we thundered through their home.  The forest was much busier than I’d ever known. The small creatures, whose existence I’d never realized, retreated to their burrows around me. They all grew quiet after we passed.

With all the excitement and the continuous speed, I kept waiting to feel winded, but my stride and breath came effortlessly. There was no burn in my muscles, no pain in my appendages.

We had been running for about fifteen minutes, when I noticed the frequency of trees diminishing. By the time we slowed down, we were dangerously close to a busy intersection. I came to a stop and glanced around us, not recognizing the area we were in.

“Where are we?” I asked curiously.

“The southwestern side of Jacksonville,” she answered without looking at me. After a few seconds, she waved her hand at me.  “Follow me.”

I glanced at a clock that was mounted in a small antique shop window. It was six fifteen. Renee usually woke up around seven, which meant I had exactly forty-five minutes to get home. My pace became quicker as we moved.

“In a hurry?” Una quirked an eyebrow at me.

I nodded. “My mother wakes up at seven. I need to be home before then.”

The derisiveness of her laugh was unmistakable. “That’s right. You are choosing to live at home.”

“Yes. I am.” I put an extra amount of firmness behind my words, refusing to be ridiculed for considering my family’s feelings above my own. “Shiloh agrees with my decision.”

She sighed. “There is a difference between agreeing with something and tolerating it, Bella. If Shiloh had her way, you would be with us every day, regardless of who is in your life.”

“That wouldn’t work.” I shook my head and pushed down my rising irritation. “My father is the Chief of Police in my old town. If I suddenly disappeared, he wouldn’t stop looking for me.”

“Are you suggesting his jurisdiction goes as far as Sweden?” Her tone had not changed, and there was a flicker of amusement in her eyes, which irritated me.   

“Look, I didn’t ask for this.” I stopped walking and turned to face her, anger burning in my eyes. “I know you don’t like me. You probably consider me a bother, at most, but I’m not going anywhere. I don’t know if I’ll be able to put up with this hostility for…however long this training lasts. So could we just go back to ignoring each other?”

Her brow furrowed, almost as if she was confused, but I didn’t see how that could be. What was there to be confused about? From the very beginning, she had gone out of her way to show me that I didn’t belong. She was the one who actively called me “The human,” after all.

“Bella,” she said in thick voice, and I waited to hear what she had to say. “You are probably right. It is best for you to remain with your human family.”

I was surprised by her admission and couldn’t find an adequate response. Rather than continue the conversation, though, we both turned back and continued on to our destination. The silence was strange, but it was better than the awkward conversation we had just had. It remained this way for the rest of our time together, and by the time I reached the house, I was ready to go inside.

“Thanks for coming with me,” I said without looking at her. “I guess I’ll see you later.”

“Bella.” She started forward, her hand out stretched, and I waited, but she just stood there. Her mouth opened and closed a few times, almost as though she couldn’t find the right words. I had never seen a supernatural creature speechless before. It was slightly unsettling. After a few seconds, she blinked twice and composed herself. “I’ll leave now.”

She turned and stalked down the street at a human pace, and as much as I wanted to call after her, to find out what she had wanted to say, I turned and headed to my bedroom window.

Once inside, I peeled the dirty, torn clothes off my body and left them in a heap by my bathroom door. As much as I wanted to just hop into bed and pass out, I knew I smelled and looked like death. I ignored my bathroom mirror for that very purpose and stepped into the bathtub. The moment the water hit my body, I felt each muscle tighten and relax, and a long, breathy groan came from my mouth. Never in my life had a shower done so much for me.

Time slipped by, and before I knew it, the descending droplets cooled, signifying the end of the hot water. I stepped out and wrapped my body in a towel, but instead of exiting, I paused in front of the mirror.

Standing there, I had to take a moment to accept what I was seeing. In the past couple months, I had looked in the mirror, but it was only until recently that I had actually seen myself. My cheeks were no longer shrunken due to lack of sustenance. Now, they were angular, which gave my face an almost predatory look. I traced the lines, but I wasn’t surprised. I had felt myself changing. This was merely physical proof.

I could smell breakfast cooking in the kitchen, and my stomach rumbled in response. Although my body was crying for sleep, it was also demanding food. Seeing how I still had the task of convincing Renee that I was sick again, I chose to get dressed and leave my room. I also had the arduous task of finding a way out of my morning carpool with my mom. I had no idea how I would get to school, though. The only other person I knew in town, the only one who had a car was Una, and I wasn’t planning on asking her for help.

So without much effort, I threw on a pair of sweatpants and a baggy t-shirt, and I headed to the kitchen, trying to hide the fact that I was stumbling. My muscles had taken enough punishment, and they were ready to rest.

“Good morning, Bella,” Renee said with her back to me. The skillets in front of her were sizzling, wafting delicious aromas toward me. When she turned around, her smile faltered momentarily. “Are you all right? You look terrible.”

“I’m not feeling well,” I said, trying to make my voice sound thick and heavy. “I didn’t sleep last night. I was up all night, coughing.”

“Oh, honey,” she replied with a frown, and she quickly swept across the kitchen and placed her hand on my forehead. “You don’t have a fever. It may be allergies.”

I shrugged and faked a cough. “I feel really tired. Is it okay if I spend the day at home?”

She nodded. “Of course, it’s okay. Are you sure, though? Would you like me to stay home with you? You’ve been on your own so much lately. I’m worried about you.”

“I’m fine,” I answered quickly, shaking my head. “I don’t want you to miss work on account of me. I also think I want to start walking to school. It’s not that far, and I think the exercise would do me good.”

Her expression hardened immediately. “I don’t like it, Bella, not with all the violence in the news.”

I could see her point, but I knew I had to sway her. “What about the bus? There’s a stop a couple blocks away. You can drop me off there. Dad gave me a can of mace earlier this year. I could carry that around if it would make you feel better.”

Renee pursed her lips thoughtfully. “I’ll think about it, okay? In the meantime, why don’t you have something to eat, and then go lay down?”

I fought the urge to remind her that I was eighteen, and therefore, able to come and go as I please. It wouldn’t help my case. So I nodded, ate some breakfast in silence, and made my way back to my room.

When I shut the door behind me, I gasped. Sitting cross-legged on my bed was Una. She was flipping through my copy of Romeo and Juliet, and her boots were dangling off the edge of my mattress.

“I have never particularly cared for Shakespeare,” she said dryly. “His stories seem so trivial.”

“I guess they are to a certain degree,” I said nervously, my fingers fidgeting. “Why are you here?”

She shut the book and returned it to its place on the shelf. “I feel I owe you an explanation about what I said earlier, Bella.”

I shook my head and leaned against my door. “You don’t owe me anything, Una.”

“Yes, I do.” She leaned forward and steepled her fingers in front of her mouth. “It is not you that I have an issue with. All things considered, I like you. You have strength inside of you that I have never seen in another human—and it has nothing to do with the venom in your veins.”

I didn’t know how she knew about that, but I chose to ignore it.

“I realize now that I have alienated you,” she continued, turning her face in my direction. “I have made you feel unwelcome, and I am sickened by it. Please accept my apology.”

I shook my head. “You don’t need to apologize to me, Una. I understand that you’re skeptical of me because I’m human.”

“It has nothing to do with your humanity.”

I stopped speaking and simply stared at her. With her pale blonde hair and fierce expression, she bore a striking resemblance to Rosalie. Edward had always been adamant that his sister was jealous of my humanity. Was it possible that Una was the same?

“Ar-are you s-sure?” I asked timidly. “D-do you wish you were…um…human?”

The look she gave me was memorable and almost made me laugh. Her brow furrowed, and the left side of her lip tugged upward in disgust. It was clear that she had no interest in being human. So what was the problem? What was her problem?

“You just look so much like her,” Una said finally, lowering her eyes. “It is very disorienting.”

Something clicked in my mind. “Who do I look like?”

Her lips formed a tight line, and she stared at me skeptically. “If Collin has not told you, then I am somewhat reticent to share.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” I complained, and without stopping to consider it, I crossed the room and stood in front of her. “Who do I look like, Una? Does it have something to do with that journal that Collin had me read?”

She sighed and nodded.

“If he didn’t want me to know about…whoever wrote in the journal, would he have had me read it?” I was angry that, once again, I was being kept out. I was going to put a stop to it once and for all.

“He had you read it because he has never read it,” Una responded, shrugging.

“He hasn’t read it?” My neck jerked back in surprise. “Of course, he has. He has it on him at all times. Why else would he do that?”

She leaned back on my bed, placing both hands behind her head. “Collin is illiterate, Bella.”

I blinked a few times before laughing. “No, he isn’t.”

Una nodded. “Yes. He is.”

“That’s impossible,” I stated. “He goes to school, doesn’t he? Schools require that students have a certain reading level, or else they can’t attend.”

“Collin is not an official student.” She gave me a pointed look. “He can read some words, but his knowledge is not vast enough. It is no surprise that you are unaware of this. He is ashamed by it.”

As I listened to Una tell me how he had put off learning to read. He was fluent in the ancient language, which was spoken by the Elders and the rest of the Walkers, but English had been pushed to the backburner. I was saddened when she told me that Nora had tried to teach him, but he had been too proud to accept her help, especially after she had been changed.

“So that’s why he wanted me to read it?” I muttered to myself.

Una smiled sadly. “Yes.”

“But, I don’t understand something,” I said, shaking my head. “Why is the journal so important to him and the rest of you? When he thought I had read it, he freaked out.”

She shrugged. “That was before you knew what we were. Shiloh was worried that you would discover that vampires and the Walkers existed. Little did we know, you were already somewhat aware. She also feared that you might share it with the wrong crowd. You were spending time with that little remora, Jillian.”

I smiled and blushed a bit. “Every time I have asked Collin about the journal, he clams up. I’m fairly certain he plans to keep that to himself. I need your help with this. Please? Who wrote the journal?”

She exhaled heavily, looking somewhat uncomfortable. “I really should not tell you this.”

“I need to know,” I said firmly, taking a seat in front of my desk. “Please, Una.”

“He is not going to like this,” she muttered to the ceiling. However, she redirected her attention to me almost immediately. “The journal belonged to our last receptor—Madelyn.”

I rested my elbows on my thighs and leaned forward. “What happened to her?”

Una’s face fell significantly, and for a moment, I almost thought she was going to cry. “She died.”

“Oh.” I felt guilty for forcing Una to discuss something that was obviously painful for her. While I watched her carefully, though, I recalled what she had said about the person I looked like having something to do with Collin’s journal. “Is she who I look like?”

“You catch on quick.” Una smirked slightly, her voice dripping with sarcasm. “Yes. With the exception of your long hair and height, the resemblance is uncanny.”

Una reached into her back pocket and pulled out a small bit of paper. She unfolded it and handed it to me. It was a picture of three, smiling individuals. Two of them were easily identifiable—Una and Collin—but the third almost made my heart stop.

There, nestled in between Una and Collin, was my face. The girl in the picture had noticeable differences. She had a pixie cut, similar to Alice’s, her lips were painted ruby red, and her black shirt was rolled up above her stomach, revealing rows of impressive abdominal muscles. Other than that, we were nearly identical. It was amazing.

“She was a good hunter,” Una explained. Her expression pained, and she added, “and a good friend.”

I stared at the image, longing to find another difference between us—a different nose, skin tone, or anything—but I could find nothing.

I looked up at Una. “What does this mean?”

“Other than you both come from the same bloodline,” she remarked with a shrug. “It means nothing.”

“This isn’t just nothing,” I said firmly, still not tearing my eyes from the picture. “Is this why Collin wants me to become like you? Was she his leannán or something?”

“I do not believe so.” She looked thoughtful for a moment. “Although, it would explain a great deal. Maddie and Collin were very close, Bella. They were the very best of friends. Her death nearly crippled him emotionally.”

I thought of Collin, the sarcastic, somewhat rude Walker who had, almost literally, dragged me into this life. It was difficult to picture him as a broken individual, but considering Tobin’s situation, I rethought my position.

“How did she die?” I asked.

“Nora, Maddie, and Collin were out hunting,” Una explained. “They were ambushed by a pack of bloodsuckers and were cornered. Nora called out for the rest of us, but we were too far away to be of any assistance. Nora was bitten, but Maddie was killed. Collin blames himself.”

I frowned. “Why?”

“They were not supposed to leave the group,” she said. “He convinced Shiloh to let them hunt on their own.”

“That’s so sad,” I commented, sighing heavily. “Poor Collin.”

“Yes.” Una lowered her eyes. “I do not approve of what he is doing with you, Bella. It is almost as though he is attempting to replace Maddie. That very idea makes me angry.”

My mouth fell open, and I started shaking my head. “Una, I’m not trying to take anyone’s place. I’m not trying to be anyone.”

She raised her hand to quiet me. “I understand that, Bella. As I said before, my quarrel is not with you.”

We sat there in an uncomfortable silence before she stood up and moved to the window.

“I should go,” she explained, opening my window. “You should get some rest before Shiloh comes. From what I heard, you are going to need it.”

I wanted to ask what she meant by that, but I didn’t. “Okay. Thank you, Una, for everything.”

“It was about time you knew,” she said simply and slipped through the window. She leaned back in and added, “Long life to you.”

I wasn’t sure what I should say, so I merely repeated what she said. “Long life to you, as well.”

She disappeared quickly, and I shut the window. I would have to ask Shiloh about “Long life to you.”

I lay back against my pillow, and exhaustion crashed down on me like an avalanche. I stared at the bleached pale ceiling from under my heavy lids, and I let my mind wander idly for a moment, expecting sleep to take me immediately. But after a few minutes, I found myself more alert, anxiety creeping back into my stomach, twisting it into uncomfortable positions.

Today was going to be a very long day.

My mind spun in a whirl of questions and hypotheticals. What did Shiloh have in store for me? Was Collin only pushing me into this life because I looked like Madelyn?

Sometime in between questioning Collin’s motives and wondering what lesson Shiloh would teach me later in the day, I fell asleep. One moment, I was glaring up at my ceiling, and the next, I was standing in the middle of a burning plain.

The flames licked the sky, turning it bright red and orange, and the screams of those below filled the air with a strange, haunting symphony. Scattered all around me were smoking heaps. I recognized the sweetness in the air and did not examine the mounds too closely. I had no desire to see the faces of the vampires that had been executed, half afraid that I might recognize one of them.

As I pushed to the lower valley, I expected to see the Volturi, their black capes sweeping through the area.  Perhaps this nightmare was a product of Shiloh’s story. However, I saw no cloaks. In fact, creeping carefully between boulders and trees, I finally saw where the screaming was coming from.

Several vampires of multiple ages were scrambling from a burning castle. As each attempted to escape, though, a large body cut through the air and knocked them down. I watched in horror as the shadowy figure bit into the neck of a female vampire, no older than fourteen years old. She screamed and pleaded for help, but no one heard her. No one helped her.

I stood by as a large man wrapped his hands around her neck and pulled. She wailed and kicked at him, but it was useless. Her head came off in his hands, and her body stilled. Her assailant tossed her disembodied skull into a raging fire and hoisted her body over his shoulder.

“Come and see,” an eerily familiar voice echoed through my mind. It moved all around me, as though it were being carried by the wind.

I chased after the haunting words, and I soon found myself crawling across dark, cold stones. The fires raged behind me, but regardless of their heat, I was frigid. There was a trail of liquid, which shimmered in the moonlight, and I got the idea that I was following it. The shining fluid was my bread crumbs in the darkness.

After choosing to ignore the liquid, I pulled myself upright and found that I was standing before another fire pit. I cautiously approached and was relieved to see Collin standing close to the flames.

“Collin,” I called out to him, but I was astonished by the sound of my own voice. It sounded throaty and playful.

He turned and smiled, but it was not his typical smile. This one seemed sinister. “Maddie, my dear, come and see.”

My body moved against my will, and I found myself standing beside Collin. He wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me closer to him. As he brought his nose to my neck and planted a small, lingering kiss there, I shivered. What was happening? Why was he calling me Maddie?

“We found them on the outskirts,” Collin sneered and gestured to a pair of individuals whose faces were covered by hoods. “They claimed to be different.”

My eyes trailed down to the two figures, and even though I could not see them, they were familiar.

From the darkness, Shiloh appeared. She looked different than usual. The scar on her face was redder than usual and appeared to be leaking. Drops of blood dotted the ground beneath her feet, and I anxiously tried to get Collin to notice, but he was oblivious. Shiloh crossed to the two, hooded figures and stood behind them. In one sweep, she pulled the hoods away and stepped back.

There, kneeling before me was Edward and Alice.

Shiloh turned to me, her expression vacant. “You cannot have both worlds. If you are to move forward, you must sever this connection.”

Alice lifted her head, and her eyes were pleading. “Bella, aren’t we friends? Don’t you love us?”

My stomach knotted as I stared at her, and I shook my head. “You abandoned me when I needed you the most, Alice. I…don’t…I…no! No! We’re not friends! You were never my friend!”

“Please, Bella?” His voice dripped with velvet and silk, and I fought the urge to close my eyes and listen to him speak. When he turned his eyes to me, I felt my heart sputter. Edward smiled. “Love, come to me. I love you. I want you with me always. Join us, and I will change you this very instant.”

Abruptly, I was angry. Beyond angry, I was furious. The pangs in my heart, which I had felt upon seeing Edward and Alice, had vanished. All I wanted in that moment was the chance to sink my teeth into them, to rip their limbs from their bodies and toss them into the fire. I was so enraged I could have frolicked around the pyre while they screamed. My lips curved back automatically, and a low, steady snarl tore up my throat from the pit of my stomach.

Collin’s arms snaked around my midsection, and he whispered in my ear, “They are yours.”

The fire that separated me from Edward and Alice had grown, but it was deathly silent.

I took one step forward, and then another. Each movement I made felt like a lifetime, and yet, I was standing before Edward and Alice almost instantly. Their wide, fearful eyes watched me, pleaded to me. I looked away and found Shiloh staring at me intently, willing me to make a decision. My back went rigid as I felt something inside me cave.

Edward started backing up immediately, trying desperately to rise to his feet, and Alice began to quake.

“Who do you stand with?” Shiloh’s voice rang clear and strong. “Are you with us, or do you align yourself with them? You must decide now.”

I stared down at the two vampires from my past, and I felt my anger boiling over. They had used me for their own personal reasons and then dumped me like yesterday’s garbage. How dare they? They would not get away with it. No good deed goes unpunished.

I stepped up to Edward, wrapped my hands around his head, and just as I was moments from ending his life, I woke up and screamed at the top of my lungs.

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Author's Note: Thanks for reading! Questions? Comments? Concerns?

Bella isn't over the Cullens just yet. She's made great strides, but she still has a bit to go.