All Dante's friends had celebrated that night and some of us had got into a weird game. We had begun by swearing secrecy to everything people in the game told us. There was a bottle on the floor and around it one of the robots had projected a circle with a number of 'dares'. The game consisted of taking turns spinning the bottle. If the bottle ended up on a dare that had been done it went to the next one. Otherwise you had the choice of some embarrassing fact about yourself or do the dare. People started to 'bid' for the bottle. I guess the idea was that if you waited too long the chance of the easy dares dropped out. Most of the dares were pretty simple - kiss the elbow of person opposite.  Others were more complex go from the entrance to the back exit of the hotel but by climbing. Some were stupid (Lap dance a robot) others semi-criminal go into a local shop and steal something. The main problem with the theft one was if you walked out of a shop with something the shop would just detect you and charge your account anyway. Some dares were confusing, fax a fish , some impossible; build a time machine and go back in time and measure your foot size as a baby, like how are you going to measure a baby's foot size? It just keeps changing. 

Things had got curious when George had spun the bottle. I won't describe Lucy's dare because it was yucky, possibly physically impossible and probably illegal in seven states. Dam you internet and your impossibly unrealistic sexual standards.

"I like Smith but he doesn't know I exist" said George staring at the floor like Lady Diana all  to our general consternation. Followed by some supportive noises. I was quite shocked by thus and then it was Lucy's turn and all thought of shock at George's shock left like it was going to take a weekend break in Paris.  The bottle had spun and it had picked Lucy. I won't say exactly what  her dare was because I don't want you walking around all day with your legs cross but it involved tweezers, an elastic band and a recording of Jet Back heart by the clones of 5 Seconds of Summer.

Binks had drifted off some time before to check what the difference between ice and glass was. Io was curious too so she had taken him so he didn't get lost. 

Lucy paused for a second and looked around.

"There is something you should know. I'm not sure how to tell you this but I need your help. Hmm. Well you know how Bink has lost his robot....  actually his robot is me"

Everybody was astonished. You could have arranged our heads and, and written the words WTF with our confused expressions. It took a while but being able to multiply two random four digit numbers in her head convinced us she was a robot.

"Lucy or who ever you are. You do know being a facsimile human, an android is illegal" said George. Having someone with bigger problems than she had really helped George.

"I know it is, I know I will be deconstructed for this, but you see its Binks. He was so alone, I saw that without my help he would be lost and lonely for the rest of his life. I thought that if he started dating somebody he would learn what to do and be able to be happy. Then I realized that I could be that person to get him started. I used Binks money to get an illegal body skin. My original plan was that we would only have to go out for a few months, then he would learn enough and move onto a real girl."

"Let me get this right he doesn't know that you're a machine?" I said.

"Know? why should he ? He doesn't even know that Clark Kent and superman are the same person." said Lucy.

I was confused

 "So if it is important that he moves on to a real girl why not just divorcing him and leave?" said Heather.

"I can't, I have the first law of robotics programmed into me so I can't harm human being. Leaving him would be emotionally damaging for him. I'm so stuck, the longer I go round like a human the more likely I will be caught by the Farage or the Bladerunners. It's only a matter of time before someone gives me a Turin Test and I fail"

"<zing>" began my earrings without warning "Farage Far-rar-ge. Robot defect police, robots used to find and exterminate cognitively malfunctioning robots. Bladerunners: humans tasked with same purpose eliminate Androids and robots who think they are human or a danger to humanity".

"That's a rate of change" I said. It's an Eye term - it's like 'that's a turn up for the books'.

Lucy was caught like a mouse in a trap of logic. She had to break human law, to obey law 1. Protect Binks from harm, but if she was caught it was breaking law 3 - preserve robot self. She had no choice, this was a huge risk if she or anyone in the room reported her she would be crushed for recycling and her core-dump stored for debugging purposes.

"Look Lucy" I said "No one is going to report you, but we can help you."

"How?" said Lucy.

"Well how about if we get someone to start dating Binks. You can find him with this third person and divorce him . Or He divorces you and goes out with her" I said. "You know what? Aunt Mallery is throwing and election ball for some reason. Binks is going, I'm sure we could do something there"

I know I can be quite brilliant right? Lucy seemed to be happier. Except now I knew she was just faking all these emotions.

I was getting nervous all the relatively simple dares had gone the best I could hope for was wrapping myself in toilet paper and going to reception and telling them I was a lost sentient roll of toilet paper. I wasn't sure how the robots on the front desk would handle this. Robot's don't tend to be good outside their preprogrammed comfort zone.  As a backup I was getting ready to tell them my big martian secret. I wasn't sure if they would think I was cool or a just a monster if I did. When my turn appeared I just had to walk through the hotel/Chalet with out touching the floor. I looked up and realized I could push my hands against one wall and my feet against the opposite and walk along the corridors like mountaineering a chimney. Easy if I didn't mind getting my hands dirty which I didn't.