His arms are warmer and stronger than I expected. I thought I was going to freeze in his arms, but they actually are warm, and it comforts me.

I close my eyes, the light searing though my corneas and doubling the pain in my head. For some reason though, I'm not ashamed of crying in front of him. I feel like after that day in my bathroom, I don't have to hide from him. He didn't hide from me, so why should I?

"Do you want me to get a nurse? He asks, his fingers tracing across my arms. I shake my head, the feeling alone draining me of the small amount of energy I have left.

Tears shiver down my cheeks, my chest heaving, shaking.

"Tell me," I breath, "Tell me a story."

I feel him shift around me, his arm around my shoulders. "Um, I'm not very good at storytelling, but I'll try I guess."

I give him a weak smile, curling deeper into his boney body.

"Um well, once upon a time there was a teen girl. Now this girl was named... uh, Denver. Yeah, her name is Denver."

"Denver?" I laugh. "What kinda stupid name is Denver?"

"No more stupid then Portland."

I scoff, wanting to argue with him but I have no clue how. Dang him and his amazing argumentative skills. And even me being on debate team, I suck at arguing. Maybe that's why we always lose.

*Harsh realization that I'm the reason we always lose*

"Anyways," He continues. "Denver has a best friend, his name is Pheonix."

"What is it with you and capital names?"

"Shut up,"

I laugh, sucking in a hard breath.

"Denver and Pheonix, they're buds, ya know. But secretly, Pheonix has a huge crush on Denver. But he doesn't know how to tell her, because he has a traumatic backstory and he doesn't want her to get hurt if something happens to him."

I grin, kinda seeing where the idea stems from, which makes me blush like mad. "I bet Denver has a crush on Pheonix too, but she wants to get to know him. Even with the weight he carries, she want's to carry it with him."

"Does Denver want to date Pheonix?" He asks after what feels like forever.

I contemplate his answer, knowing how I compare to the person he thinks I am. Because I'm so much harder to handle then the person he knows

"She doesn't know yet."

***

I end up falling asleep through his story, I tumble into the dark part of my mind that I try to forget.

"Where do you think he is? He said his party was going to be over two hours ago." Ronnie says as we set the table for our new years eve midnight dinner. A tradition between the four of us to eat at the strike of midnight. A first meal of the year, kind of. It's 11:46 and he's still not here, while the three of us have been at Alyssa's house for hours.

"Do you want to call him?" Alyssa asks me, plopping down on her pleather couch.

"I guess so."

I pull out my phone, dialing his number, but someone knocks at the door first.

"He's here." Ronnie laughs, opening the front door. What greets us though knocks the smile straight off all of our faces.

Levi stumbles through the door, gripping onto Ronnies arm, blood staining the floor.

wait.

Blood?

"Oh my God, Levi!" I exclaim, pulling him out of Ronnies arms and onto the carpeted floor. "Oh God, what happened?"

"Jake... Jake insisted we... we go for a drive... and I told... him no because he was drunk, and it not safe...They're in trouble."

Blood covers his jacket, and something shines through. A piece of  glass imbedded in his stomach, at least four inches deep.

"Hey, hey, it's okay. Levi, you don't have to talk. It's okay."

I run my hands through his hair, so desperately wanting to kiss him, kiss away his pain.

"Alyssa, call 911." Ronnie says, kneeling down next to me. 

Alyssa stands there, frozen, tears creasing her ebony skin.

"Alyssa!" Ronnie screams, finally snapping her out of her trance.

Ronnie quickly slides Levi out of his jacket, tears the sleeve, ties it around Levi's waist. 

I can't breathe, I can't focus. This can't be happening. This cannot be happening.

"Levi, stay with me bro." Ronnie smacks his cheeks, trying to keep him awake. 

There's so much blood. 

"You'll be okay, my love." I whisper, grabbing his cold hand in mine as Ronald frantically tries to stop the blood from flowing. But the carpet is red, and Levi is pale from the loss.

Sirens wail outside, lights flashing. 

Levi says something, but the noise stops the sound from reaching me. I lean in closer, grasping for the words.

"I love you."

"It'll be okay." I insist, tears snaking my cheeks. "you're gonna be okay."

He wasn't okay though, he died right there, in my arms, his last words to me being 'I love you.' and I never said it back.

We later found out the whole story from one of his friends.

They had been at a party, and the guy hosting wanted to go for a joyride in his dads new car, even though he was drunk and didn't have his license. Levi tried to convince him it wasn't safe, but in the end joined them to make sure nothing happened. The guy swerved off the road and Levi jumped in front as the windows all shattered. Everyone was pretty much unconcious except Levi. He ran a mile to her house, just to die like everyone else in that accident.

***

I wake up crying again. I haven't thought about Levi in so long that I forgot how much pain it causes me.

"Don't cry." 

The voice startles me, until I remember the cute boy hanging out in my room while I sleep.

That sounds creepy. I did not mean for it to come out like that. Nevermind.

"Sorry," I mumble, fighting to stop the tears from falling but they just don't want to obey me.

"No, you're alright." He moves over to my side from the chair he was sitting in, wrapping his arms around me.

"Do you wanna talk about it?"

I shrug, running the palm of my hand across my cheeks. "there's a lot about me you don't know, Asher Laurier."

His beautiful eyes lock with my dull brown ones, full of mystery.

"I want to know everything. I want to know you."

I smile, finally managing to wipe the tears away. "Well, I'm obsessed with reading, especially  if the book is longer than four hundred pages. I love music, and I play three different instruments. I've been doing theater since I could talk but I've only ever played two lead roles. I'm really close with my family, and I'm super protective of my little brother, even though he's only a year younger than I am. When you get me talking about things I like I'll talk for hours, like theater or books or Marvel movies. I never let people see how much they hurt me, and I never tell my family how much I get bullied at school. I have a really hard time making friends, and I hold on to the ones I have with both my hands and feet. And no matter what I do, I always end up alone-"

He wraps his arms around me before I have any time to continue.

"You're perfect." He whispers, his breath warm on my face "You're perfect to me."

And in that moment I desperatly want to kiss him. So I do. 

#YOLO