(unedited)

Seems like it's getting harder to believe in anything
Than just to get lost,
In all my selfish thoughts.
I wanna know what it'd be like,
To find perfection in my pride,
To see nothing in the light.

"Turn It Off"–Paramore

"Shouldn't you be at school?" Devon asked when he found me in his office the next day.

I shrugged. "I had Art and a spare so I skipped." Technically, I had English, but we had a substitute teacher again, which meant it would just be extra time to work on a project I had finished last week.

He stared at me. "You've never skipped before," he said.

I shrugged again.

"Are you-" Oh no, not this again.

"No, I'm not being bullied, or doing drugs, or pregnant," I interrupted before he could finish.

Devon raised an eyebrow. "I was just going to ask if you were planning on staying. I have a client at two." He looked away for a moment, to pull out his lunch and put it in the microwave.

I glanced at the clock. Forty-five minutes. Long enough to ask everything I wanted. Probably. "That's fine, I just wanted to ask you a couple things," I told him.

"Hearing you say that makes me nervous," he said, leaning back against his desk as he waited for his lunch to head up. I pouted. He sighed. "Fine, ask away."

Do I start of slow or go straight in? I decided on the former. "Do you know about Kaden and Ashton's case?"

Apparently, it was the wrong choice, because his expression hardened, and he gave me a short, clipped nod.

I ventured on anyway. "How?"

"How did you find out, Elena?" Devon asked, ignoring my question.

"You can't answer my question with a question!" Oh hell, I sound like Ashton.

"If you want an answer, you're answering my question first," he said. The microwave beeped and he pulled out his pasta, then took a seat across from me.

"That's not fair!" And now I sound like a five year old. I'm not sure which one's worse.

He raised an eyebrow. "I think it's perfectly fair, Elena." I glared at him. He ignored it. "We can do... What's that game that Kaden used to always play? Raine complained about it all the time..."

Game of Truth. For the second time in a week. I wasn't sure which was worse, going at it against Kaden, who was a lawyer, or Devon, who was a psychologist. And the most annoying part was that it was probably the only way to get answers out of either of them.

I protested anyway. "Do you even have any questions to ask me?"

He shrugged, not even bothering to lie. "I'm sure some will come up as we go along."

"Fine." I sighed. "I caught Kaden and Ashton talking. Now how so you know?"

"Kaden asked me hold anything Ashton found until he came back," Devon said. He took a bite of pasta, chewing slowly in a way that made me want to scream at him. Just a bit. "Is that really how you found out?" he asked after a moment.

"Yes!" I felt like I should've been more offended then I felt, but I guess I had been expecting the question, a bit. It still hurt a little though.

Devon held up his hands. "Sorry, I didn't know what else to ask."

"Why can't I just ask the questions and you answer them like a nice person?" I asked.

He shrugged and grinned. "Because I'm not a nice person?"

"Devon," I whined.

"Elena," he mimicked. And this is the comeback a thirty year old, renowned psychologist chooses to use. "You gotta work for answers."

"Your questions suck," I told him, a childish venom creeping into my tone.

He rolled his eyes and ignored me. "Now, I believe it's my turn to ask a question?"

"What?"

"You asked me why I couldn't just answer the questions," he pointed out, raising an eyebrow. I wanted to smack myself. Goddamnit, Elena, you're an idiot.

I tried to protest anyway. "Come on, Devon, that's not fair."

"I thought there weren't any rules," he said.

"Fine," I huffed.

A couple moments of silence ticked by. "I actually don't know what to ask, so I guess you can take your turn," he said, taking another bite of his lunch. The glint in his eyes told me he was messing with me, so I did my best not to react.

"Who else knows about it?" I asked, making him sober up.

"A couple other people," he answered.

"Does Raine?"

He nodded.

"Shawn?" He didn't seem to mind the continuous questions, so I was going to use as much as I could.

Another nod.

"Kallie?"

He paused, then shook his head. "Maybe only that it's serious."

I wanted to ask why none of them had told me, but held the question back. I already knew the answer, really. They probably hadn't thought it would matter to me. "I guess it's your turn, then." I had never reminded someone to take a turn in Game of Truth before, but I wanted to take a moment to process everything.

"Why does it matter so much?" Devon asked.

"I'm curious," I half-lied. It definitely isn't anywhere near to the whole truth.

"It doesn't concern you, Lena," he said.

The hell it doesn't.

But Devon didn't know about my involvement with the Elite. Yet. I had a feeling that by the end of this, he'll have been enlightened.

I decided to change subjects completely for my next questions.

"Jenna Tunclet's one of your patients, right?" I asked. He gave me a suspicious look, but nodded slowly. "Do you know what happened to her sister?"

"You know questions about my patients are off limits, Lena," he said.

"Please? This is important." Olivia had been hanging out with the Elite before she disappeared. Then, half a year later, she shows up, comatose. What the hell could've happened in the months in between?

Devon sighed. "According to the record, she attempted to commit suicide and failed." According to the record? What record? I thought it had always been a mystery. "It was kept quiet, but not a complete secret," he continued, reading my expression.

"What do you mean according to the record?" I asked. The way he had said it... Like he didn't believe it, or like there was something more.

He shook his head, then glanced out the window as he spoke. "Why do you want to know about Olivia Tunclet?"

Right, it was his question now. I answered quickly, wanting my own answers. "I saw her get wheeled into the hospital."

He whipped around to look at me. "Why were you at the hospital?"

"It's my question," I reminded him. "What do you mean according the record?"

It took him a moment to answer. "Jenna believes that someone... Hurt her."

Hurt Olivia? Like try to kill her? Did Jenna think the Elite did it? Was that why she had warned me to be careful? Both Ashton and Jacen had warned me to stay away from her, to not believe a single thing she said. Because she was crazy, or because she was onto something?

I opened my mouth to ask, but Devon shook his head and asked his own question. "Why were you at the hospital?"

"Visiting a friend." Devon narrowed his eyes, but didn't say anything. It wasn't like he could call me out on it, anyway. It hasn't been a lie. There was nothing against vague and missing-information answers. They were the only thing you could use in this game. "Do you agree with Jenna?"

Another question that took him a while to answer. "I haven't completely dismissed her beliefs," he said finally.

I wanted to scream in frustration. Game of Truth was a double edges sword, I knew that well, but it still annoyed me. Devon was bound by job not to dismiss the thoughts of his patients, so it really didn't mean a thing.

"Why does it matter so much?" he asked.

"Jacen told me he knew her." He might have no idea what I was talking about, but it was the truth.

Devon's eyes narrowed. "Jacen Winston?"

I didn't reply, or react. It wasn't his turn to ask, so I didn't have to give a response. My silence must've been enough of an answer for him, though.

"What are you doing around Jacen Winston?" he demanded.

"How much do you know about Kaden and Ashton's case and Ashton's friends?" I asked. I knew there would be no way to work around how I knew the Elite. If I didn't tell Devon, it wouldn't be hard for him to simply give Kaden a call and ask.

"I know," Devon said slowly. "That someone could be going down for murder, and that they play a very twisted game." He looked at me expectantly, not having to repeat his question.

I bit the inside of my cheek and took my time answering. "I might have been chosen to participate in that very twisted game."

His expression hardened immediately and he let out a quiet string of curses. He didn't lose his temper, but he looked pretty close. So that confession had caused two typically very well-composed men to almost lose it. It couldn't be that bad, right? Not compared to the fact that someone might have been murdered by one of the Elite.

"You can't trust them, Lena," he told me.

"I know that!" Everyone needed to stop telling me what I already knew. Jenna had warned me, Kaden had warned me, even Ashton had warned me. And now Devon could be added to the list too.

"Don't hang out with them," he ordered.

"It's not that easy!" I exclaimed. "I can't."

He raised an eyebrow. "You can't... Or you won't?"

I hesitated. "Both. I'm curious," I admitted.

Devon narrowed his eyes. "You know," he said. "I was curious about why you're so nosy."

"It's not good to be curious about other people," I replied quickly. "And I'm not nosy."

He shot me a flat look. "Don't be a hypocrite, Lennie, it's unbecoming."

I blinked. "I have no idea what you mean."

He rolled his eyes and chose to ignore me. "So I looked up why people could be curious-" he started.

"You can look up things like that?"

"Unnaturally curious," Devon corrected himself.

"I'm not unnaturally curious!" I protested.

This earned me another flat look. "Stop interrupting me, Lena."

"Maybe I'm interrupting you for a reason!" I exclaimed. "I don't want you to psychoanalyze me, Devon!" I didn't want him to metaphorically go digging around my brain. I was happy with believing I was semi-normal, albeit my somewhat strange past.

His expression softened. "Lena, it's not a bad thing to know."

"I don't care!" I clenched a metal juice lid in my hands, twirling it around my fingers to give myself something to do. It knocked a rhythmic pattern against the wood of the desk, soothing me a little.

"It's not anything bad," Devon said. "All it is-"

"I don't want to know!"

I jumped up and rushed out of his office, the metal lid still rattling against the desk behind me.

♡ the trouble with love ♡

I went to visit Skylar again after my talk with Devon. Whether it was to see if I could get any more information from her or to see if I could catch another glimpse of Olivia, I wasn't quite sure. Maybe a bit of both.

When I got to the waiting room, I found two people I knew there. Jenna and Jacen. Sitting on opposite sides of the room, of course.

I walked over to Jenna. "Hey."

She looked up, her bloodshot eyes widening at the sight of me.

"Are you ok-" I started.

She leapt up, cutting me off. "Stay the fuck away from me," she yelled, backing up. Then she turned, and raced down one of the halls before I had the chance to reply.

"Told you she was crazy," Jacen said, coming up behind me as I watched Jenna turn the corner and disappear.

"Her sister's in a coma, you bastard," I hissed. "That's sick."

His expression hardened. "You shouldn't talk to me about being sick, Elena, considering who your dad was."

This made me stumble. "What?" What does my father have to do with any of this?

For a second, it looked like his cruel expression had slipped. But he fixed it so fast I was almost sure I had imagined it. "I did some digging of my own, you know."

"Stop, Jacen." I didn't want to know about my past like this. Not while there was a sinister expression on his face and a mocking tone in his voice.

He continued as if I hadn't spoken. "I find it strange how Raine took you in, considering what he did."

"Shut up, Jacen." Before you ruin everything.

"Want to know?" he taunted.

"No."

Again, he ignored me. "He tried to rape her."

What?

Of course, he didn't give me even a second to recover before dropping another bomb. Jacen Winston was cruel like that.

"Twice."

-- ♡ --

Jenna ---->

Teaser: "Jenna left yesterday for an audition," she said, watching me with a puzzled look. "If it goes well, she's not coming back."

PS. Everyone who's read Summer Rain, I think you guys know who Elena's parents are now. :3­