may the 1th.

I watch the rain fall so soft on the ground.I was so tried of my life, one my mom die when i was only 5 year old and after that my dad was so sad and alonely. He then remarried. I hated her. The woman he married, she was nice and all. Even so i still hated her no matter what. I miss my mother. she was was the most wonderul person to ever lived.one day I  just was looking out the window and hopeing it would end. I  mean this life and everything. I was kind of daydreaming and then, I heard my step- mom, mary call my name, kj, kj, kj. That was my nickname. everyone called me that because I was always runing away. My real name was Mary. I hate my name.  I always hated my step- mom. She would always try too hard to get along with me. I just acted like she was not there. I hated her so must. it was now night time, by then I was tried of her. i just could not take it anymore so I ran off and I soon found my self at the end of a hill. i did not even noice i was even walking at all. I was just out of it. i was daydreaming what it would be like if mom was still alive, would it all be different. I soon just  started crying and wishing i could join her. I then just look down at how far the fall would be.   Now it would all end. Now I could join her. so I try taking one step toward the end of the hill geting ready to fall but a voice said don't do it. He then throw him self down the hill. A guy with black hair and red highlights and white pale skin that sparkle in the moonlight. i did not know him but he ran toward this way.  He throw him self down the hill to stop me from madeing a mistake. he wanted to stop me from killing my self. I think over and over in my head why would he save some he does not even know and I was nobody to him. Why would he save me. How could anyone could survive that. he has to be or really hurt.  I then ran after him, he was not hurted. But how could that be and how is he still alive i feel really bad about what I was about to do. But some how he survive without a mark on him, no cuts or anything. He was find and how could that be.I was siting right by him with tears in my eyes. He then look up at me with a sad look in his eyes and then asked why were you trying to kill your self. i was too scary to tell him why , so I at first did not say anything, i just look at him and cryed even more and then I ask him why am I alive.i was so sad and lost.  i was really scary and told him I did not want to kill my seIf at all or die. I then look up at him asking why did god do this to me, was i bad and did god hated me for some reason. I said why did he gave me life. he  then look at me and put his soft cold  hand on my warm face and said because he saw there were goodness in you. He look at me and said my name is sam with a warm smile. He then said you are beauitful and any man is blind not to see how beauitful you are. i would feel bad if you die and I never knew you. I could not help but cry more and tell him everything, about my step-mom and how alonely i am and the fear. i could not help but tell him everything. He was just so sweet. He then looked at me with a really warm  smile and said you are so beauitful, don't  cry, you are too beautiful for that and i just cry even more right in his arms. he holded me tighter and tighter and I could feel His arms and how cold they were.I could not help but ask myself why is he so cold and so pale. He was like ice. I did not care I just wanted him to hold me even more and tighter.  I then asked him why did you not let me kill my self, why save me of all people. I am not anyting, I am no one. I ask him again why save me and he look at me in a way so evil, it scary me. He then said why not, you are a beautiful girl why would not a man save you. i could not beileve any guy would say that to me, I was not beauitful. he then again got that evil smile and then said I would never  let you die and as he said that he put his left hand again on my face, he was getting very close. I just move away and turn the right side away from him. He then said you are one shy little girl, i like that. He then laugh at me right in my face. i was so sad i just cry, He was playing with me. I had tears in my eyes. I ask him is this funny to you.So me wanting todie is funny to you.if you want to stop the pain I can help you just kiss me and it will all end right here and now. Tell me the truth why did you really save me. he said because your beauitful and i look at him all mean like and i say thats a lie, tell me the truth. he said find, I find you very sweet. I did not know what he means. he than said your  fun to play with, like a little toy. I said you must be crazy. What is wrong with him, I am not his little play toy. he said I might be but if I am your more crazyer, and then he said, I am not the one who try to kill them self. I just was so mad at him and I just started walking away and as I did he said, you are alot of fun and lets play this game again sometime soon. i was so mad, this was all a game to him. I just walk home. I was so mad that when i was home I called my step-mom a monster from hell, she just told me to go to my room. She trying to become my mom, but she's not, my mom is dead. I was still so mad at him for playing with me and my feels. my mom die in a fire in our old house. i was with my dad when it happen, we were at a bashetball game. my dad still acts like I am a boy. I never want to see that guy from the hill again. It was just a game to him, me killing my self and trying to kiss me. who the hell does he think he is.

It's night again and i go to the hill. I keep on going to that hall looking for him, and hopeing he will be there waiting fo me. But he never is. I keep thinking where he would go. I long for him. How can i like someone like that. He was playing a game with me and my feels and i was a joke to him. How could i ever like someone like that. I must be going crazy or i am dreaming. But I am not. He was real. I know because I could feel his breath on my skin and I could feel his cold pale hand touch my skin.  He was real. I know it. I can't get him out of my mind. Every night i dream of his touch and looking into the evil dark blue eyes and feeling his arms over me. I could feel his eyes every night look down on me and feel his soft kiss on my warm skin. I could feel him all over me. I must be dreaming. Everywhere I look for him he was not there. every night I dream of him and his touch. every night i wake up he's not there. i am jumping at shadows. The only thing i see is shadows. He's never there. i hate him but i want him. it feels like I need him more then anything.  I don't know if I'll ever see him again. I want to die. If  don't see him again I know I will die right here and now.