Before, back home where I can from, where I was made, I was watching everyone to come and go.

Now, I was watching you grow.

You've grown, big sister!

Before, I was standing tall as you was trying to teach me how to walk, and I was standing tall right just on the level of your chest. But now, I was standing below your hips as you were trying to teach me how to dance with you as you held both of my hands as we sway to the music that mother played on the brown piano on the living room.

Time sure has flown by, hasn't it?

Time to time, you learned new things. Little by little, you mastered them. And every day you mature, I was there at your side, standing and watching you grow.

You told me that, usually for little girls they play house and cooking something in their cooking toys.

But you said that we will play something else and just dream for house and the kitchenette next time.

And this is what you are talking about.

You've learned how to make beautiful dresses of me out of the beautiful flowers from the garden of our mother. You also have made me a tiara out of those flowers.

We also have thought that mother will get mad at us if she have learned of what we have done to her little paradise.

But she didn't.

You told me that you've learned some masterpiece and it was called origami. And informed me that you've done your research on them on some books on father's library and tried to make them.

Birds..
Butterflies..
Aeroplanes..
Flowers..
Lanterns..

I was watching you making them.

Then one day, you told me that it was time to change my outfit and you got the idea that maybe you could make me a paper dress.
You learned to cut and fold papers and made me another set of clothes out of those colorful papers and made me a new beautiful paper head dress.

And next, you've asked mother if she could teach you how to crotchet. She wanted to object first. She said that it is still too early for you to learn things such as that.

But she didn't.

For she was deeply moved to realize that, the reason you went to her and asked her to teach you to crotchet was for you to make me a new set of clothes.

You were still half way to a decade but you made me dresses of more than the numbers of years in a decade. Mother even bought a little closet and hangers as a present on your birthday for you to put on those dresses that you made for me.

If we have to think about it, instead the present was for you to use, it was for me to use. You said that too, but you shook it off and said that your birthday is also my birthday since you have received me on your birthday and that was also the day I was part of the family and became your little sister. And besides, you said that you had your own closet, and now that they gave you a closet for me, I don't have to share with your closet anymore.

Thank you, big sister.

I wish I could give you a present too, even just a little one. Like making you a crown of flowers for your head like you had made for me the other day, even just a simple one. But in this body that I have, I can't make any, even just one.

All I got to give you was this permanent smile that I had on my face and be with you at your side.

If I could just make a present, I want to make you dresses too. Dresses sewn all day. Dresses sewn by staying up all night. Dresses that is sewn by my own hand.

I also wanted to see you wear the dress that I made for you, big sister.

I wish I can make a dress for you, big sister.
I hope I can make a hair clips for you, big sister.
I pray I could.

Isn't today my birthday too like you have mentioned, right big sister?

I also had my greatest gift that I received on my birthday.
I had a great big sister!

There is also another thing that's bothering me. Everyday, every night, every time.

You are growing up, big sister.
Time pass..

Someday, the bond between us will be just a thing in the past.

Like what they say, when a little girl grew up, they will eventually neglect something like us, no matter how deep the relationship between them. It's saddening just thinking about it, but it's okay.

There is this one day, I've thought of the time that you should have stopped growing. The time should have stopped or take a little longer. For I was scared.

I scared of the time you'll neglect me.

I am happy to be with you throughout the day, big sister. But I can't shook of the feeling of dreadfulness whenever the sun will sink to the depths of darkness in the west. For it reminds me that a day had passed again, and we are getting closer and closer to the finish line.

Just like the sun rises to the east and sinks to the west.

If I could only do something to prevent that to happen.
To stop you from growing up.
To stop the time.

I have done it already. But sadly, I can't.

But like I said, it's okay. Fate will always be fate.

I will treasure all the memories that we had together. And spend those remaining moments that we still had together to spend.

Time pass..
There is always a new day to spend..
And another day to create a memory..

And this day..
You're obviously so happy today, big sister. It's not like I'm saying that you aren't happy yesterday and on the other day and other other day. I was saying that your happiness seems different today from the days that had passed.

I was happy too, and was excited to know what is you have getting so happy about.

And there, you went back to our room and I was here waiting for your return. You returned and was carrying a box and father was with you and was carrying a box too, but bigger than yours. You brought your box down on the floor and took me just to let me sit with you on the floor beside you.

And I have known about the boxes that you and father brought, for you have told me, that you and father are going to build a doll house. The boxes contains the things you needed.

No wonder why you are so happy, big sister.

You told me every night before we go to sleep that you wanted a doll house where I could fit in, complete with living room, a kitchen, a dining room, and a bedroom.

You explained that it's not like you don't want me to share anything of your things anymore that's why you happened to have thought of that, you just wanted to have something like you have owned. And also, a place where we both feel like we were living on a house that we own and just the two of us living on the same roof, for you wanted to be a good big sister.

That is why we didn't played houses and learned other this for you are waiting patiently for this.

Well, if you ask me, big sister. If you're happy and I am too.
I don't know, but you seem to understand me even if I couldn't talk to you.

You said that we had to pray for it and have faith that we will recieve it. For God answers prayers.

You wished for it..
You hoped for it..
You prayed for it..
And I did too..

And now, we have it, big sister. You and father are literally building our dream. Our dream doll house right now and I was sitting here watching you two doing it like what you had told me. That I will keep watch on you two to build our dream doll house.

So this is the feeling of having your dream finally have come to reality. Your dream have come into life.

You and father.
Together..

Together you build our dream.

I wish I could build the doll house with you and father too.

If only I could move..
If only I could move my hands..
If only I could move my arms..
If only I could move my legs..
If only I could move my feet..

If only I could do anything with this body that I have. I'd love to join you, big sister. I'd love to join you and father build our little playground on your room that I shared with you.

But with this body that I have, that I always had, and will always have. I can't do a thing. Not even to move an inch.

Without your help, I can't do a thing.
Without your help, I'm helpless.

I want to help in any way for you, big sister. But with this body that I have, I couldn't.

This body was like a curse to me.

It was always the obstacle for every wishes that I wanted to grant for you.
It was always the obstacle for every hopes that I wanted to give for you.
It was always the obstacle for every prayers that I wanted to fulfill for you.

But this curse body that I had and hated, if I hadn't have this, you have never loved me. Not even had me as your little sister or worst, without this body that I hated, you have even never met me.

Is it bad if I just wished for wanting to help you with even the little things?
Is it there any other way for me to do to help you?

I pray to God that you prayed for your prayers to be answered. But is it possible to get answered?

I always wanted to help you in in just a little thing in return for being a good, kind and loving big sister.

I wish..
I hope..
I pray for this..

Even if I was only a mere Ragdoll..