I've been walking in a long shallow tunnel, the splashes of cold sticky liquid in my feet is telling me the road I'am walking is wet and it's so dark and so cold. I don't have even the slightest idea where it is leading me, I just keep on walking and walking.... for couple of hours, I feel walking like a blind zombie and I could feel hunger. My hunger gets even worst and worst and I felt like passing out any time, my body feels very weak and then I felt fainting.. then somewhere at the bottom of the tunnel I saw a light from a flambeaux, a handsome man in a white long sleeves and slacks is holding it. He's smiling at me, but when I called at him, he back away.. weak and tired I followed him, I'am close to running after him but he's so fast that I thought he's floating. I don't know what had happened next after I've chase him and was able to get out of that dark tunnel, what I really remember is that I'am riding in a flying stallion, a huge white one. And it has wings, large wings. Was it really like Pegasus?and then I forgot what have happened...

Tick tok..tick tok..tick tok...

I slowly opened my eyes as a disturbing noise ended my old repeating dream. It's my alarm clock and it's telling me it's already 6:00 o'clock in the morning and I have to get up to catch a 6:30 cab to St.Bernard

Was it a simple dream? Or a nightmare.....?

For how many years I have been dreaming of the same dream, the tunnel, the lady with the flambeaux and the Pegasus like white horse.

As I get ready to work, my mind is still thinking about the mysterious dream. Getting out of my messy room, finding the room keys and my favourite camera. I went outside like a madman. I forgot to have my breakfast and I'am late.

Arriving at St. Bernard, I saw Martha was busy looking at what I think was an old photograph. I was surprised, it was mine. But I didn't feel any signs of anger towards the woman for touching my things without my permission, she's too kind and too loyal to be scolded, she has been my friend since decades. I was too thunderstruck even to move when I saw the photograph she's been holding. The photograph was taken years ago and If I have the chance, I didn't want to look at it anymore.

It's amazing Edgar, well how did you shoot this? Martha spoke in amazement as she slowly inspected the photograph. She was aware I have arrived

I don't know... it was taken years ago.. I feel like my head is spinning and I felt dizzy as I speak to Martha, must be because I did not have my breakfast or something else..

there's something deep about this one, different from all of your works, there's something mysterious about it that only few people can see. Mr. Adalwen should see this one.. wait for me, I'll have to see him now! Martha exclaimed in excitement as she got out of the door and flee. I was left alone in the room without any idea what to do. As Martha's words sank in in my preoccupied mind, my eyes stared at what she's referring to as the old photograph....

"Edgar your brother is dead.." the doctor sighed as he slowly spoke with me in pitiful sad voice. " I should suggest, you bring him home and give him a decent funeral. The doctor explained in a slow calming tone. But nothing in his words made me calm, my body was already numb in emotions. I stared at his dead body with no reaction... I was hopeless, I'am their eldest and I'am 12years old by then. Young to be burdened out from work and too young to nurse two brothers and a two-year old sister. I felt like screaming, blaming the doctor for my brother's death but in those difficult times, in my young mind,I know that blaming anyone will not change anything, he will still die.

"Where are your parents young boy? Did you inform them about your brother's condition?" after a long silence, I can sense the worry in the good doctor's voice.

I'm bringing him home and asking you to lend me some of your money to bring him home. I'll pay for it, I'll double work for that, even triple just to pay you I promise. I wasn't aware that I was already shouting at the doctor but he didn't complain for I myself didn't notice the tears that was uncontrollably flowing in my pale cheeks.

"You can bring him home Edgar, I won't ask for anything in return" he still sounded calm and pitiful.

"I'll pay" I insisted.

After a long silence looking at me for how many minutes he bowed his head as if he surrenders and then nodded.

But before you go young boy, I want you to have something.. he added.

I was still emotionless and stayed still like a statue from where I was and looking at nowhere.

"Do you remember this? He asked

It was the camera he lent me when my sister had her first birthday.

"I'am giving this to you, take care of it young boy. He smiled, but only for a while.

My mind keeps on saying that he'll have to keep it for it reminds me of a family that we never had but somewhere deep in my young heart told me to hold it and keep it.

After giving me hankies to wipe my dried tears, the doctor then stood and called the nurses to accompany me home with the remains of my brother.

Before I leave, I looked back at the doctor and saw him looking back at me. He smiled and then turned away to attend to another patient waiting for him...

Getting inside the car, I've thought of opening the camera the doctor gave me. As my tears was starting to form again, remembering my dead brother who stood with me until the end, in happiness and sorrow we've survived together until today.

Something fell as I slowly opened the leathered case where the camera is place. And when I bent down to see what it is, I saw the most heart breaking picture that I have ever seen. I've cried, cried all along that it consumed my soul. The doctor might have printed it for I know I was the one who took it, accidentally.

There it shows how my brother Rowan cared and loved us, how he'd wept when my sister got sick at the day of her 1st birthday. How the storm ruined our celebration, how the three of us survived the night with wet clothes from the unstoppable pouring rain, it showed how difficult for us to live in the cold dangerous streets without a home of our own. How the people judge us for becoming beggars, how the other children laugh at us because we don't have decent clothes, how Rowan would often look at school and the students. And he was holding her tight, protecting her with all his might from getting sick. I had witnessed how my brother called for God to have mercy but no one replied, he was always that religious but he is sickly, the long hours of staying outside and getting wet from the chilling rain made him weak. Days passed by and he's getting worst until I've decided to bring him in the nearby center, a kind doctor who introduce himself as Doctor Falcon took care of him in everything. He told me that he knows our parents very well and that he's a close friend but I told him we didn't even have the slightest idea who they were, from then on he didn't bother asking questions about their whereabouts.

"Are you weeping Edgar?" asked by a familiar voice that brought my thoughts to reality which I'm quite sure was Mr. Adalwens.

"No sir, I'm just a lil'bit drowsy for skipping breakfast" I moved around and turned my gaze to other things so that he wouldn't catch me lying.

"So you say" he replied, but there is humor in the way he said it.

"I remember, five years ago... you can't even hold a camera" He laughed.

"By the way.." he continued. "You are the finest photographer in this generation Edgar "Look at your work or I'd better say look at how people admires your work, how it affects them and then tell me if I'm not telling the truth. You know you've always made me proud young man" He smiled at me and then stared at the photograph he was now holding.

Can I ask you a favour? He looked at me intently

But of course sir, anything within my power.I replied

I was informed that the President will attend in our exhibit Can we make this photograph as the center piece of the exhibit? I'm sure he would appreciate this one. He explained directly at me.

It rendered me speechless, It is my dream to be recognized for my legacy.. but not for that photograph.. not for that picture that broke my heart. But can I deny the request of the person who acted as my father throughout the years?

The dream, the tunnel, the man with the flambeaux, and the Pegasus like horse. Must it be Rowan? Must it be?

-Seventeen