Chapter Sixty Six - Vim - To Sea A Smile

      Renn walked a few feet away from me, happily splashing in the ocean waters.

"It's warm Vim," she said, enjoying herself.

"Warm enough, I'm sure," I said. More like it was simply not freezing.

She smirked, and I wondered if she wanted to splash me. She was looking at me as if I was something to hunt.

We were walking along a rather large beach. The sky was clear of clouds and storms, and the wind wasn't bad at all... in fact she was probably right that it was warmer than usual. It was still winter, the tail end of it, and this sea was always cold. Had been for hundreds of years... and probably would be for many hundreds more. But the world seemed... generally calm and warm today. The wind didn't chill at all, what little there was of it.

"Oh!" Renn hurried away, farther out to sea. I kept an eye on her as she went deep enough that the water reached her rolled up pants.

She bent down, and half a moment later hefted up out of the water a massive green turtle.

"Look!" she laughed, turning and heading back to me.

The turtle made noises as it tried to flap its flippers, but it couldn't do anything as Renn showed it off to me. "It's huge!" she said, turning it so its large head could glare at me.

"Be gentle with it, that thing is almost as old as you," I said.

"Think so?" Renn asked, tilting her head at it. Water was still pouring off it, splashing both me and her. I took a step back, not because I feared it or the water... but because I carried her stuff. I had her backpack, which I had stuffed full since she had taken off some clothes. Her socks and her hat and jacket. I held her shoes in my left hand, as well.

I nodded. That was a sea turtle... and honestly, seeing her carry it around so easily made me second guess my assessment of her capabilities.

That thing had thrice or more weight to it than she did... and she held it with outstretched arms, turning and moving it around as if it were a toy.

Her appearance betrayed her strength. She looked scrawny and young, especially with the way she had rolled up her pants and sleeves.

Renn slowly put it down, and it released a bunch of bubbles as she put it back into the water. It was pissed.

She had a huge smirk as she watched it splash away from us, heading back to the deep.

"I love the ocean," she said as she watched it go.

"You did mention you lived in a port city," I said, remembering one of our first real conversations.

"More of a small coastal village. Pryti... it was far north, where ice formed over the rivers and inlets around it. The waters there were far colder than here," she said, and bent down to wipe her hands off in the water. The turtle had probably been covered in moss or grime.

"I see," I said. I hadn't recognized the town name, but it wasn't that big of a surprise. I didn't go far north very often. The few members of our society up there didn't like me visiting too often.

Plus depending on how long ago she had lived there, that village could be long gone by now.

"It was... a nice place. A few hundred people lived there," she added as she shook her hands to try and dry them.

An ocean wave splashed behind her, and rolled along the sand. It hit her in the shins, and then after a moment almost reached my feet.

I stood just outside of its reach however, and planned to keep it that way.

I'd never get sick just because I was wet or cold... but that didn't mean I wanted to walk for weeks in soaked shoes and clothes. Soaked by salt water on top of it. Plus I carried her stuff... I had been entrusted with them, and I'd protect them.

"You got your pants a little wet," I warned her.

"I know... I'm sorry, but it looked so neat," she looked away, as if she was a child being chastised and I her father.

Her tail twitched around wildly, further telling me her emotions about it, and I glanced to the shadow in the distance. The turtle had swam away, but lingered nearby. Maybe there was a predator worse than Renn deeper in the depths.

"Usually cats hate water," I said as I returned to walking.

She hurried to follow, but stayed in the water. She splashed around, walking in the ankle high waves. "I've heard that too. I wouldn't know, cats don't like me so I never get to really spend time with them," she said.

I nodded... but knew that she wasn't an ordinary cat. Not just because she was human in shape, but because of what her bloodline actually was. She was a large one. And they didn't like water either, but wouldn't hesitate to get wet as to eat or hunt.

"Rather I... I'm not sure why... but I like it. I used to sit for days staring at the ocean, when I lived on the coast," Renn said as she looked out to the vast sea.

The waves in the distance, a little away from the shoreline, were wild. And big. There must be a storm beyond sight, based off how violent they looked out there.

"Would you choose the sea or a forest?" I asked her.

She paused for a moment, but I didn't stop to wait for her to find an answer. After a few steps she hurried to catch back up to me. "Can't I pick a forest right along the sea? That'd be the best," she said.

"There's a few places like that," I said.

Though none with any villages of the Society. The coast was too dangerous. Too often visited by humans, for entire villages of our kind to live safely within.

"Oh... I mean..." she mumbled as she went into thought.

She hadn't realized I had asked for a rather real reason. A purpose.

I needed to find a place for her, and soon. There were a few places in mind, but they were long-shots. Luckily the Cathedral was one of them. It was a small distance from us, but it was also a place that most of our kind couldn't survive in. If she actually found herself able to live there, it'd not only be a great home for her it'd help the Society out as a whole.

Honestly her picking the Cathedral would be best. Not just for her... but for me as well.

Renn went quiet and retreated from the ocean for a moment. Her bare feet sunk into the wet sand, and I noticed that her toenails were not pointed or sharp like how her fingernails were getting. I'd have her cut them later. Humans could grow long nails, but not that sharp nor as long. It was odd that only her fingernails became sharp... but it was a good thing. It'd make wearing shoes difficult and a pain if they had.

"How long will we walk along the ocean?" she asked, excited. She sounded as if she hoped we'd do so for weeks.

"In a few days we'll come to an inlet. There's a small fishing village there, where one of our members live," I said.

"By themselves?" she asked.

"Kaley lives alone. However, last time I had been there, a few of the humans there knew of her. Or at least had an inkling she was... special," I explained.

"Hm..." she pondered my words as the waves crashed against her feet. I was lucky the tide was retreating, so I didn't have to worry about stepping away for now. I kept an eye on the force of the waves that approached all the same, however.

We walked quietly for a moment, and I studied the shells and crabs we passed. There seemed to be a lot... even for a beach unbothered by humans. Maybe one of the recent storms had been violent here.

"What's beyond the sea Vim?" Renn then asked, as she stared out at the horizon.

"More sea. Then eventually land again... Then islands. Then more sea, until the seas become ice. Layers upon layers of ice," I said.

"You've been there?" she asked, looking back at me.

"I have."

"Why? What were you doing there?"

"The first time, I had gone there... to escape. The second time I had gone in search of a land for our people. For the Society. For a place for them to hide and live peacefully," I said.

Renn's eyes narrowed and I noticed the way her ears and tails went stiff. I was now more important than the sea she found so beautiful. "Oh... you didn't find it, did you?" she asked softly.

Her shoes made an odd noise, and I glanced at them. I had accidentally squeezed them a little too hard. Luckily it didn't seem I had broken or torn anything. I needed to be more careful. Not just with my strength, but my words.

"I... did..." I spoke slowly, both to speak without lying and also to not tell the whole truth. "But I lost the place I found," I said.

She frowned, and her ears fidgeted, as if they itched. "You... lost it? You can't find it again?" she asked.

Her eyes bore into me as we talked, and I wished that the sea had been more pretty. Maybe if it had been she'd have not lost interest in it so quickly.

"I lost the rights to them... is a better way to phrase it," I said carefully.

Renn finally looked away from me, but only so she could stare at the sea-star we were walking past. It was massive, so big I worried she'd try to lift it up as she had done the turtle.

Luckily for it she left it alone, but she stopped walking as to stare at it for a moment.

Watching her watch the star, I found myself staring at her tail. It hovered in an arc, and twitched lightly every so often. Did she even realize it moved alongside her emotions and feelings? She had shown she could move it at will, having preferred it and stuff to me before... but... Sometimes it seemed to move mindlessly.

"Did someone take those lands from you?" Renn then asked.

Take? "Yes... But those who did so, earned them. So I'm not upset over it," I said.

Renn tilted her head and glanced at me, her eyes dug into me as I stood still and waited for the next question.

"So... they're our people then, aren't they?" she asked as she stood up straight, no longer staring at the starfish.

"They were," I admitted.

She glanced out at the sea, and I knew she was trying to imagine it. "Why did you lose them then? If they're our people shouldn't..." she stopped talking, and I knew it was because she was making sense of it.

"They're our people, but not a part of our Society. They chose to... separate from it. They settled on a far off land, where no humans live," I said. I dared not tell her more than that.

"Are there a lot there? Can I go there? Why didn't everyone go?" she asked, turning to me as to ask her questions.

I sighed and nodded, and had to step back two steps to escape a tiny wave of foam. "There's about half the number of us there, as there are here."

"Oh! That's... a lot? That's a good thing isn't it? Why do you look like you're talking about something that hurts?" she asked as she began to rub her arms as if cold. No... She probably was cold. The water wasn't actually as warm as she had teased about, and even though not a human that didn't mean she didn't suffer from such things.

"It is a good thing. It means there are more of us than most know... but the ones who left, the ones who went there... Well, let's just say their methods and rules don't really align with my own. With most of us, even," I said.

"Ah..." Renn's face contorted as she frowned. Odds were she read a little too deeply into my words, but I wasn't in the mood to correct her.

After all, she'd not be allowed there. They'd cast her out... if they even still existed.

"Still... it is a good thing that there are more of us, isn't it?" she asked.

"Maybe. We'll see," I said a little too honestly.

I stepped forward, to put us back onto path. The sun was still high overhead, but I knew in a few hours it'd begin to set. I didn't want to walk along this ocean at night. It'd be too cold and uncomfortable even for her then.

Renn quickly followed after me, and I noted she hopped over the large starfish. It took quite a leap.

"We'll see... did something happen?" she asked, now worried.

"Possibly. But it is likely we'll never know," I said. Or at least, in all honesty, I didn't want to know and hoped I never did.

"Why... why do you sound like you are glad about it? Did something happen?" Renn asked, and I noted the tone in her voice. She was now worried.

I really needed to stop being so open with her. Why did it happen so naturally? Usually it was real easy for me to keep secrets.

"Things did happen. But you need not worry over it. Let's focus on our people here, within reach," I said, trying to steer the conversation a little better. I really didn't want to tell her how close I had come to killing half our society out of anger.

"I'm focusing on you, Vim. No one else," Renn said as she came to a stop.

Coming to a stop as well, I noticed the dryer sand beneath my feet. She stood in the dark wet stuff a little ways away, staring at me.

"The world is vast. Don't try to wrap your hands around it all at once," I said to her.

A larger than normal wave was approaching. I knew I should already be stepping away... fifteen steps maybe. No, eighteen.

Yet I kept still. I didn't warn Renn, who was definitely going to get her pants wet because of it.

I said nothing as she stared at me, looking hurt.

"You're being a little obtuse Vim, even for you," she then said as she grabbed her arms again, to rub it warm.

"Because I'm afraid to trust you," I said.

The wave crashed into her legs, splashing upward. I knew even without looking that it had probably drenched her pants. The wave continued rolling forward and then flowed over my own feet.

I ignored the tug of the ocean and stared into her eyes as my boots got soaked. The water pulled sand around my feet, and I began to sink a little into the sand. Per usual my weight became noticeable as I sunk a few inches.

"I'm afraid to tell you things that could endanger you. That could make you sad and cry. That could get you killed," I said to her as the wave slowly flowed back into the ocean.

Expecting a sad face, or even watery eyes... I was a little surprised to see her smile instead.

It was a warm, gentle, and honestly... a loving smile. One that would have made my heart hurt had I been younger.

Standing before me, with the ocean behind her... I found myself thinking she was beautiful. Her tail was low, nearly touching the water, and her ears were pointed a little off-center. As if she was trying to hear something behind me. Thanks to the angle of the sun, and the reflection of the water... I was able to make out the little spots in her hair. It wasn't just in the thicker hair of her ears and tail, but the hair on her head too. Her colors hid it well, but thanks to the lack of wind which caused her hair to stay still, and the sun behind her they became more obvious. She had small spots, that all seemed to circle around each other in little loops. They were far more prominent on her tail and ears, but there were definitely some in her hair too.

She held her arm still, and stood a little awkwardly. She looked unsteady, even though I knew she was fine. Between the look on her face, her stance, and the world around her... I couldn't decide what was more important to look at. I couldn't choose what to study and burn into my memory.

I chose to remember her smile.

"I'll try harder, Vim," she said softly.

Focusing on her as she squeezed her arm, yet didn't shiver, I watched as the woman before me made a small vow. To me. To herself. To the ocean around us.

"I'll try harder. To earn you," she whispered.

I sunk a little more into the now wet sand, and knew I should say something. To both make light of her comment and dismiss it... Or...

Yet I couldn't. Wouldn't. Her words were bothering me, and I was both too afraid to face them... while also too happy to not accept them. It made me feel uncomfortable, and want to turn away from her.

I tried to resist smiling back at her, and knew it made me seem upset instead. Which was fine, since that was what I wanted to be. Needed to be. It was ridiculous, yet here I was fraught with emotion.

And the worst part was she noticed my struggle.

Renn smiled and nodded, looking far too happy to hate.

Which only made me hate myself.


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