hello, the artwork for chapters 25, 27, 28 & 29 has been updated.
happy reading :)

Gotham City
TWO YEARS EARLIER

    "That's everything," Dick set down the last box. "Do you want to start unpack—"

    I collapsed down onto the couch, my head planted in my hands as I failed to hold it together.

    "Rens," he knelt down instantly. "I know it's hard, but it'll be okay."

    "It's not okay." My tired and over-cried eyes met with his.

    If I had just been there—if I had just gone with him—everything would be different.

    "That's why we're here, remember? We'll get some space from the cave and you can take the time you need to mourn."

    That was the last thing I wanted to do, if I even knew how.

    I had no idea what to do at all. Moving in with Dick was a decision that came out of loneliness. The only thing that made sense was having him as close as possible.

    "I need you."

    "You have me, Rens."

Gotham City
March 17, 22:00 EST

    "No," I stood toe to toe with him. "I'm not letting you do this."

    "Artemis already agreed to it and Kaldur knows. This is what we need if we really want to stop the Light."

    "What does Wally have to say about all of this?"

    This awful undercover plan that endangers some of the people closest to us. I was already skeptical when Kaldur and Dick first created this mess, but now it was going too far.

    "Wally doesn't have a say in this. It's Artemis's decision at the end of the day."

    "And what happens if Kaldur can't protect her in there? What happens if she gets caught and then actually killed?" I suggested. "Dick, there's more at risk than just uncovering the stupid Light."

    "We have been planning this for months Rens, you've just got to trust—"

    "You mean you've been planning this for months. I thought we were leading the team together, yet I keep finding out about the plan after the fact."

    "I'm sorry, but I knew you wouldn't agree with it. I figured if Artemis said no, then we wouldn't have to have this argument at all."

"You shouldn't have put her in that position in the first place," I argued. "Do you not remember our failsafe exercise? All the hurt and problems that seeing Artemis die caused? You're doing that to them all over again and for what? For a mission?"

"Yes for a mission! I was there in that exercise, Rens, and if there's anything you and I learned it's that sometimes we just need to do our job."

"Our job is not to put our friends in life or death situations, or to lie to everyone we're in charge of. You're sounding like Batman."

That wasn't the right thing to say. It hit the most sensitive nerve possible in Dick; I could see it on his face.

It was the kind of comment that would make him run away.

"I-I'm sorry," I apologized, even if I still felt right; whatever would make him stay. "I want to succeed as much as you do, and you know I'll help you with whatever you need, but I want to make sure we're not taking any unnecessary risks."

"We're not."

"Okay, then I trust you."

Mount Justice
March 19, 11:42 EDT

Mal looked up to the pictures of Impulse and the newly recovered Speedy. "They're both gonna wind up our responsibility, aren't they?"

"Not necessarily," Dick sighed. "Bart, Impulse, is staying with Jay and Joan Garrick in Central City. Roy, the original Speedy is recuperating at Royal Memorial Hospital in Star City. Arrows Green and Red are watching over him."

"Mhm," I hummed. "They're both gonna wind up our responsibility."

"Doesn't everything?" Conner scoffed. "I mean where are we on identifying the Light's new partner?"

Dick gripped the bridge of his nose. "No progress."

Our conversation was interrupted by a gigging M'gann, levitating a plate of food, "La'gaan! Don't eat so fast."

"I can't help it, angelfish. The idea of cooking crabs is amazing enough, but making them into little cakes?"

"You're gonna choke."

"If only," Conner grumbled

Dick and I glanced at each other, both trying not to laugh.

"Here, let me," she fed him.

"Mm, if that's not true love, I don't know what is chum."

"Don't ever feed me like that," I begged Dick.

"Ditto."

Conner moved to leave. "Call me when it's time for the briefing."

"Recognized: Artemis, B-07."

"Time for the briefing."

"Artemis!" M'gann happily ran to her.

"Hi, M'gann!"

"How's Wally?"

"He's... Wally."

"Welcome back girl."

"Hey Mal!"

"We have so missed you around here."

"Conner!"

"I relish this opportunity to finally fight beside you archer."

"Um, thanks La'gaan?"

"Okay, gamma squad," Dick broke up the reunion. "Listen up."

"The mission's Cape Canaveral," I went through the debrief on the monitor behind. "Covert op to safeguard the first Earth-Mars comm-sat. There are people out there who don't even like the idea of aliens, and will do anything to scrub this launch."

"But that's why I came back," Artemis put a hand on M'gann's shoulder. "Because not all of us feel that way."

"So why are you going?" Mal questioned.

And with reason. Typically, squads don't have this many senior members. Dick and I also tried out best not to deploy on the same missions, so that a leader was always left behind. But for reasons we couldn't share, we were breaking nearly all of our rules.

"Let's just say that after running this Team for a while, we're peckish for a little action," Dick pulled me in by my side. "Right, Rens?"

I forced myself to agree. "Right."

Cape Canaveral
March 19, 20:59 EDT

"If nothing else, we have a nice view."

Dick and Artemis were keeping watch, while I sat against the tower's steel, sulking.

"Miss M, link us up."

"Link established."

"Good. Begin aerial sweep of the cape's perimeter."

"Hey boss, I'd be happy to join my angelfish on that assignment."

"Negative Lagoon Boy. You're right where I need you. Giving me maximum coverage. In the water, on land, and in the air. In case there's any attempt at sabotage."

"I know you didn't want me here," Artemis looked back. "But please don't be upset with me."

"I'm not upset." My tone said otherwise, though.

"Look, I know I'm not Wally or Girl Wonder's favorite person right now, but it is nice to have you back."

"It's nice to be back. I didn't realize how much I'd been missing it. Which is pretty much exactly what Wally's afraid of. He's worried the rush that comes with the mask, will get its hooks in and I won't give it up until my dying day."

"I know exactly what you mean."

"Nightwing will keep fighting until he can beat me in sparring," I pointed out. "So, I guess you really are going to do this for the rest of your life."

Artemis played along, teasing the boys in the way we used to years ago. "You know they never beat us because all they worry about is being fast."

"Tell me about it."

"I'm right here," Dick pouted.

"Woah, heads up minnows. We got bad guys. Black Manta's troopers working some kind of platform beneath the surface just offshore. I'm taking them down—"

"Belay that." Nightwing instructed. "Wait for backup."

"I'll scrounge a re-breather from the cargo hold and help the rookie out."

"Rookie? Neptune's beard! I don't need any help from the boy of steel."

"Lagoon Boy! Stand down!"

"Sorry," he made static noises, "You're breaking up."

"There's no static on a psychic link!"

"Company!" Artemis announced as multiple Black Manta troopers arrived on the shore. She fired a line down, letting me go first as one hand held up a purple shield to cover the others.

Artemis and Nightwing tucked behind the wall, while I stood up, blocking the fire with another shield. But there wasn't enough time to advance and fire back.

"Superboy. You have that re-breather?"

"Negative. La'gaan didn't restock."

"Then take the helm," I ordered. "Miss Martian, gill up and help Lagoon Boy. Superboy, we need more cover fire down here."

"Acknowledged. Bio-ship reconfigured for manual flight. La'gaan, I'm on my way!"

The bio-ship came down taking out the bulk of the attackers.

"That's our cue!"

Artemis suddenly leapt up onto the wall with me. "Not yet!" My hand covered her face just in time to block the oncoming beam.

Dick pulled her back down. "I know you're rusty, but are you trying to get yourself killed?"

I spotted a missile soaring in the air above us. "Superboy."

"On it."

"We're on the wrong side of this wall," Artemis said.

Conner used the bioship to destroy the missile before it could hit the rocket. But the alarms began to sound and the ground rumbled for the emergency takeoff.

"We're really on the wrong side of this wall."

"The troopers helmets," I thought. "Designed to enhance vision under water, right?"

"Got it."

Artemis' arrow flew straight into the sky, before emitting a massive flare.

"Move!"

Every time we went on a mission, I knew there was a far quicker way to deal with things, but Artemis was right. We've all become addicted to the rush that fighting gave us. Wally was the only one brave enough to give it up.

Artemis had her back turned towards a manta trooper with a knife. Nightwing and I both rushed to help her, but her leg swung up into his helmet, before an arrow bounced off the center of his chest. "What? I'm not that rusty."

More manta troopers were arriving from the water, Kaldur included. It made my stomach turn over, knowing what was about to happen.

"They've taken La'gaan!" M'gann said. "I'm going after him."

"Priority is the missiles," Conner argued. "There are too many. I'm not keeping up."

Dick grabbed my hand to stop me. "Go. I don't think it would make sense if you stayed."

He meant that I would never let a member of my team die on a mission. But letting Artemis take part in this scheme—wasn't I doing just that?

"Fine," I gave up, running back towards the other side of the wall.

Two large clouds of purple swarmed at my palms, each one jetting out in rapid blasts of light. They struck all the oncoming missiles, helping Conner protect the comm-sat. After taking four missiles out, I noticed the flame of the rocket begin to spread across the launchpad. It rushed towards me in a wave, and I barely put a shield up in time before it could swallow me whole.

Fire engulfed me on all sides, threatening to break the thin dome of purple. "Come on," I strained.

Finally, the smoke cleared and I could let the shield fizzle out. "No," I gasped, looking up to see the rocket explode into pieces.

The moment I jumped back over the wall, nothing felt right. We failed the mission, La'gaan was captured, and now Dick was giving Artemis CPR so that we could lie to everyone.

Conner looked at me with wide eyes. "I-I don't hear her heartbeat."

"28... 29... 30... She's dead."

"Rena," M'gann cheeks were already covered in tears, "Can't you do something?"

Guilt flooded me body as M'gann and Conner stared at me for a solution. "I'm sorry."

For so much more than they know.

Blüdhaven
March 20, 04:02 EDT

Dick and I threw another lie upon our first hundred; we told the team we had to leave to tell Wally.

That worked out, since I refused to watch everyone cry. I can't stand the idea of a room filled with people mourning because of me. I can't stand the idea of mourning at all.

"I take it our ruse was successful?"

I didn't understand how the rest could appear so unaffected. "I don't think they'll ever forgive us for this."

"And still, only we five know the secret?"

"This secret and the other. That you've been under deep cover within Black Manta's organization since leaving the team. How'd it go on that end?"

"Successful as well. I've proven my loyalty to my biological father. He's moving me up the ladder, bringing me closer to the Light and their unknown partner."

"Not without cost, Kaldur," I pointed out. "The comm-sat wasn't supposed to be destroyed and La'gaan definitely wasn't supposed to be captured."

"It was the only way to save his life and maintain my cover."

"We're not blaming you," Dick put a hand on my shoulder to stop me. "We know you've been forced to make impossible decisions. Like saving the Kroloteans on Malina Island—"

"Or saving my friends."

More lives wasted for a plan I didn't believe in.

"And I will find a way to help La'gaan. You have my word."

"So what now?"

I let out a sigh and handed Nightwing the necklace.

"Uh, dude. Why are you giving bling to my dead girlfriend?"

"Glamor charm," I put the necklace on Artemis. "Courtesy of Zatanna. Physio-morphic spell, I think. I couldn't really tell, she said it backwards."

"Wow, you look... exactly the same."

"To the four us, and only us. But to anyone else, you're an entirely different person."

Wally asked me, "How'd you convince Zatanna to make something so specific?"

"Well, our friends trust us, don't they?"

And if the group didn't feel guilty, they did now.

"The more impressive trick is how you convinced Rena to go along with all of this," Artemis thought.

"I have my ways," Dick smirked.

"Dog," Wally nudged him. "I knew somebody was walking funny."

"Wally!" Artemis scolded.

Seeing the familiar dynamic come to life between us only made me more nervous about sending Artemis in. Things were surely going to change so much.

"It is time."

Artemis gave Wally a warm hug and kiss; the last one they'll probably share for a while.

"What could go wrong?"

"Don't say that."

Artemis boarded the ship with Kaldur, leaving Wally to helplessly watch with us.

"We're through the hard part," Dick said. "They're in."

"Who are you kidding," Wally revealed the anger he hid for Artemis' sake. "It only gets more dangerous from here."

Then he went home, without Artemis.

Once he was gone, Dick seemed to crumble a bit. His posture sank and his face looked conflicted, sad even. It reminded me that despite my hating the plan, Dick was only doing what he thinks is right—all at the cost of being the one to blame if it goes wrong.

My arms wrapped around his neck, letting his hands find their spot on my waist. "Are you okay?"

He made the rare confession, "I'm tired."

"Let's go home then."

Suddenly he hugged me tightly, gripping onto me like a lifeline as he made an even rarer confession, "I need you."

My fingers tangled into his hair, nose buried into his neck. "You have me."

You always will.