Chapter 4: Burning Building


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Bob and Lucius sat in the car laughing and listening to the radio.

"So now, I'm in trouble. I mean, one more jolt of this death Ray and I'm an epitaph. Somehow I managed to find cover. What does Baron Von Ruthless do?" Lucius asked

"He starts monologuing." Bob answered.

"He starts monologuing. He starts this prepared speech about how feeble I am compared to him. How inevitable my defeat is, the world will soon be his. Yada, yada, yada."

"Yammering." Bob laughed.

"Yammering! I mean, the guy has me on a platter and he won't shut up." Lucius ranted.

"Municiberg, we have a 23-56.."

"23-56, what is that? Robbery?" Bob asked.

"This is just sad."

"Robbery. Want to catch a robbery?"

"No. Tell you the truth, I'd rather go bowling. Look, what if we actually did what our wives think we're doing? Just to shake things up." Lucius suggested.

"What are we doing here Bob?"

"We're protecting people." He answered.

"Nobody asked us."

"You need an invitation?"

"I'd like one, yes. We keep sneaking out to do this, and...you remember Gazerbeam?"

"There was something about him in the paper." Bob remembered.

"He had trouble with civilian life too."

"When was the last time you saw him?"

"I don't see anyone from the old days, Bob. Just you. But we're pushing our luck as it is."

"Come on, come on, come on." Bob urged.

"It was fun the first time, but if we keep doing this..."

"We have a report on a fire..."

"A fire! We're close! Yeah baby!" Bob shouted.

"We're gonna get caught." Lucius sighed, starting the car.

The two drove off, not noticing the car trailing behind them.

...

Bob and Lucius were inside the burning building wearing ski masks and carrying people on there shoulders.

"Is that everyone?" Lucius asked.

"Yeah, that's everyone."

"It better be!" Lucius tried to form ice, to put out the fire but wasn't having any luck.

"Can't you out this out?"

"I can't lay down a layer thick enough! It's evaporating too fast!"

"What's that mean?"

"It means it's hot! And I'm dehydrated Bob!" Lucius snapped.

"You're out of ice? You can't run out of ice. I thought you could use the water in the air."

"There is no water in this air! What's your excuse? Run out of muscle?"

"I can't just go smashing through walls. The buildings getting weaker by the second. It's gonna come down on top of us." Bob explained.

"I wanted to go bowling!"

Some debris fell down near them opening up a hallway.

"Alright! Stay right on my tail! This is gonna get hot!" Bob ordered.

The two ran down the fiery hallway and smashed through a wall leading to another building just as the other one collapsed.

Bob and Lucius fist pumped and Bob stood up noticing they were in a jewelry store wearing ski masks. What's more, is that Bob had also triggered the alarm.

Police and firemen arrived and saw Bob and Lucius arguing through the window.

A cop burst through the door and yelled 'Freeze'.

They both put there hands up and Lucius noticed a water fountain. He picked up a cup and started pouring water into it.

The cop pointed his gun at Lucius. "Freeze!"

"I'm thirsty."

"I said freeze!"

"I'm just getting a drink." Lucius brought the cup up to his lips and drank it.

"Alright, you've had your drink. Now...I want you too..."

"I know, I know. Freeze."

Lucius shot ice at the policeman and by the time the other cops burst into the store, Bob and Lucius had already escaped, leaving some civilians and a frozen cop behind.

...

Lucius and Bob jumped into their car and pulled there masks off.

"That's was way too close. We are not doing that again." Lucius scolds as he started the car and drove off.

...

Bob quietly opened the door to his house and snuck into the kitchen, not before grabbing a brownie.

As he was eating he heard a noise and got into a defensive stance.

A lamp turned on and Helen was sitting in an arm chair.

"I thought you'd be back by 11:00." She deadpanned.

"I said I'd be back later." Bob corrected.

"I assumed you'd be back later. If you came back at all, you'd be 'back later'."

"Well, I'm back, okay?" Bob turned to walk away, but Helen extended her arm and grabbed his shoulder.

She came closer to him and picked something off of his jacket.

"Is this, rubble?" She asked.

"It was just a little workout. Just to stay loose."

"You know how I feel about that, Bob. Darn you! We can't blow our cover again!"

"The building was coming down anyway." He reassured.

"What? You knocked down a building?" Helen asked incredulously.

"It was on fire. Structurally unsound. It was coming down anyway."

Helen rubbed her forehead. "Tell me you haven't been listening to the police scanner again?"

"Look, I performed a public service. You act like that's a bad thing."

"It is a bad thing Bob! Uprooting our family again, so you can relive the glory days is a very bad thing."

"Reliving the glory days is better than acting like they didn't happen!" Bob argued.

"Yes! They happened! But this, our family, is happening now, Bob. And you are missing this! I can't believe you don't want to go to your own son's graduation!"

"It's not a graduation. He's moving from the fourth grade, to the fifth grade." Bob said with gritted teeth.

"It's a ceremony!"

"It's psychotic! They keep creating new ways to celebrate mediocrity, but if someone is genuinely exceptional..."

"This is not about you Bob. It's about Dash." Helen cut in.

"You want to do something for Dash? Let him actually compete. Let him go out for sports."

"I will not be made the enemy here! You know why we can't do that."

"Because he'd be great!"

"This is not about you!"

A whoosh of air past by them and they immediately knew who it was from.

"Alright Dash. I know you're listening. Come on out." Bob sighed.

"Vi? You too young man."

The two kids poked out from their hiding places looking concerned.

"It's okay kids. We're just having a discussion." Bob reassured.

"Pretty loud discussion." Vince added.

"Yeah. But that's okay. Because what's important is that Mommy and I are always a team. We're united against...the forces of...uh..."

"Pigheadedness?"

"I was gonna say evil."

"We're sorry we woke you. Everything's okay. Go back to bed. It's late."

Vince and Dash made their way back to their rooms.

"In fact, we should all be in bed." Helen said, glancing at Bob.

Bob sighed and went to bed while Helen turned out the light.

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