Desperation


Warning: This chapter contains a graphic scene of a suicide attempt that might trigger some people. Please skip Julie's POV if you might be triggered by it.

Julie's POV

After a few weeks, Aphrodite finally returned to me, but she did not say what had happened and why we felt that extreme pain. She said she had to go away, and Ares helped her heal. Now she would help me. And we should not speak about it ever again.

But I felt numb and was blocking all the help she gave me. After the heat had passed, my mate never came to us. Ares constantly searched for Aphrodite, but Alpha Maximus did not seek my presence. He never came to my room, not even while I was sleeping. And I knew it was all because of me.

His distance was affecting me more than anything. The food tasted like garbage, and I could not keep anything in, not even after Aphrodite's return. The ache I felt in my soul was too much, and I just wanted to lie down and sleep, too tired to do anything else.

"Jules, what is going on? Why are you rejecting my help?" Aphrodite sat on my mind, and I knew she was worried about me. "Darling, I told you I am better now and would help you. Let me, ok?" I closed my eyes. "He isn't coming because of me. Isn't it right?"

She smiled. "It doesn't matter now, Jules. We need to get you better. Let me help you, sweetheart."

I shook my head and looked outside. "You can't, not this time, A. I can't take it anymore. I need to stop the pain." After my parents died, the only thing I looked forward to was my wolf's arrival, and when she arrived, she helped me endure all the suffering. Every day we hoped we would find our mate, and he would make the ache disappear. He rescued me, but I am still in pain.

Aphrodite deserves a better human, and I hoped she would find a much better companion once I freed her. Someone that would not weigh her down, and that the human mate would love as much as the wolf mate would. "Jules, I don't like the feeling I am getting from you. Lie down. Sweetie, let me take control and heal you."

With fat tears on my face, I whispered "I am sorry, A.", and cut our connection. Aphrodite did not need to suffer any longer. I will put an end to it. I walked to the window. It was around eleven in the morning. The sun was shining, but I knew tonight would be another full moon, bringing back all the pain from the heat. I would make things right today, and Aphrodite would not have to suffer because of me. Not anymore.

I went to the bathroom and saw my face in the mirror. It has been a while since I looked at myself in it. I could not endure looking at it any longer and punched the mirror, cutting my knuckles. The mirror pieces fell on the sink, and I grabbed a sharp piece. I sat on the marble floor and took a deep breath. It will be over soon, I said to myself.

"Please, A, forgive me. It will be for the best. I hope you can find a better she-wolf." I cut first the left wrist and then the right one. The blood started to pour on the white marble floor, and in a matter of seconds, I got lightheaded and collapsed on the cold floor.

"Now we are free. No more pain for us, A."

                                                

                                                                                                *****

Max's POV

There was a knock on the door, and doctor Paul walked in. "Sorry to interrupt, Alpha. But Julie isn't doing well. Her wolf isn't responding. We are losing the progress we made last month. She has become fragile again." The man scratched the back of his head. "Perhaps you could visit her or let Ares reach out to her."

A few days ago, Ares confronted me, telling me he knew what Tania and I did to his mate. He has not talked to me since. "Paul, what I need you to do is get Julie better. I need to reject her soon. All this wait isn't good for her or Ares. I don't want her suffering."

He looked at me with desperation in his eyes. "I know, Alpha. But I am out of my depth here. Her problem isn't something that can be healed with medicine. And I don't recommend you reject her now."

I could not go there. I needed Julie out of my pack house as soon as possible. Everybody was getting attached to her, including me. I took my shirt off and gave it to him. "It might help her wolf." I grabbed a new shirt from the shelf, and doctor Paul did not discuss it further. He left me alone without a word, and after a few minutes, Terry walked in. "Not now, Terry. I got my problems with Ares. Doctor Paul just left, and I don't want to hear about Julie."

"It is not about that. I got word that Alpha Michael is hunting Julie." I can't believe it. More problems. "What?" Terry sat across my desk. "He doesn't know she is here. Alpha Michael thinks she escaped and has had his trackers searching for her since we left Woodland. Now that his men returned empty-handed, he wanted our warriors to search for her. He has contacted many packs about his Omega. He wants her brought back."

I shook my head. "I want them back ASAP, Terry. They aren't authorised to do any searches." He nodded. "Yes, Alpha. The problem with the rogues is sorted. There is no need for them to be there any longer. They will be returning tomorrow morning."

Terry looked concerned for Julie. "Max, what will you do when he finds out she is here? Are you going to give her back to him?" I walked to the drink cart and poured a drink. "I haven't decided yet, Terry." All I wanted to do was to go back in time and not visit that awful Woodland Pack. "But one thing is certain she isn't going back there."

I returned to work after Terry left, and suddenly I felt dizzy. A rush of sadness crossed my body. Ares started screaming and running in my mind. "Mate, go to mate. Mate is in trouble. Max, mateeeeeee! Go to her NOWWWWW."

Ares did not stop screaming and whimpering in my head. Without thinking, I sprinted to her room. When I got to the Alpha's wing, I smelt the strong scent of copper. It was blood and a lot of it. By the Goddess, did someone break into her room and hurt her?

When I pushed the door, the scent only got stronger. I mindlinked Terry and doctor Paul, telling them about the blood. I panicked when I did not see her in the room, but her scent was too strong. I looked at the bathroom, and the door was open. From where I was standing, I could see her tiny feet, and I ran to her.

My body went cold, and I could not believe my eyes. The floor was covered in blood. Julie had her eyes closed and was pale. I got to my knees and held her to my chest. "No! Why did you do that? Please wake up. You cannot die on me."

I heard gasps coming from Terry, and doctor Paul came beside me to help. I looked at him.

"Do something. She is dying." My heart was beating too fast. I was a killer who had seen way more blood than that, and I never felt anything. But somehow, her blood made me sick.

He wrapped some towels around her wrists and got a blood bag from his doctor's bag. I assumed the blood was mine. He quickly started a transfusion to her. My blood would help her heal faster. Paul looked at me with sad eyes. "I am sorry, Alpha. She has lost a lot of blood. I don't think I can save her."

I howled, and it had much pain in it. Terry came near me and said. "You need to mark her, Max. You can't let her die. The mark will save her." Ares was whimpering in my head and spoke. "That was you, Max. I will never forgive you. You killed her."

Doctor Paul nodded, agreeing with Terry. "You need to mark her. That is the only way. She doesn't have much time left." Ares took control and gave a roar that shook the room. My eyes were bright golden, my canines extended very fast, and he bit the soft spot on her neck. I felt the blood on my tongue and the rush inside me from the bond.

I felt all the sadness and desperation she was feeling before doing it. Ares licked her neck to heal the bite. He took her wrists and licked them as well. The mate's saliva was a powerful healer. He checked her for more cuts, found some on her knuckles, and licked them too. After being satisfied with his work, he took my shirt and hers off and held her tight to my chest. He was trying to heal her with the mate's touch.

Her body was freezing, the sparks were faint, and so was her heartbeat. I was not sure the mark could heal her in time. Doctor Paul started to talk to Ares, telling him they needed to bring Julie to the pack hospital now that she was marked, but Ares was not budging. Terry walked closer, and Ares gave a feral growl, warning him.

Both men moved back, and in a possessive tone, Ares barked out. "MINE" I could not take back control. Ares blamed me for what happened and did not trust me to take care of her. We were there sitting on the floor for a while with him holding her tight against my chest on my lap, and Ares, from time to time, would lick her wounds to heal them faster.

He looked at the blood bag and noticed it was already empty. He got up, carrying her. "Alpha, please let me check on her. It will be best if I clean her wounds properly. She is covered in blood."

That only irritated him further, leading him to destruction.


That was the saddest chapter to write. Julie thought she was making her wolf suffer and was not good enough to host Aphrodite.

I did not want to let anyone hang on to this sad chapter till tomorrow, and I am posting another chapter now.

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