Hey everyone! Sorry for the late update. I have been dealing with some personal stuff in my family the last few weeks. 

Just another reminder this chapter, as well as the next few will be heavy!

Please give me feedback in the comments! :)

Severide's POV:

Antonio has just left after dropping off all of these case files. Why didn't Stella tell me se requested them? What's in all of these boxes? I glance over at Stella, she is staring blankly at the boxes. I decide to go to my room and give her some privacy, I hope she tells me what all of these files have to do with her past.

Stella's POV:

I sit on the floor with questions running through my mind. I start thinking of what part of my past I want to start with when I tell Kelly. I don't want to start with the heavy stuff as I am afraid after he hears that part our relationship will never be the same again. Maybe I should start with my mom? I take a deep breath as I use the couch to slowly hoist myself up. I limp over to the closed barn door and slide it open. Kelly is sitting there staring off into space not realizing I have entered the room. He looks like a little boy lost in a deep thought, a worried expression weighing him down. "Hi." I say softly lightly knocking on the door frame. He looks up at me startled.

"Hey." He says, his eyes searching my face.

"Can we talk?" I ask.

"Sure. What do you want to talk about?"

"I want to talk about my past with you. That's what is in all those boxes out there. I am going to start with something that isn't as heavy." I take a deep, shakey breath and continue "Kelly, I am terrified that you won't be able to handle this. I'm scared that after I tell you about my past that you won't be able to look at me. But most of all I'm afraid that you won't love me after you know."

Severide's POV:

I stare at her for a moment. I didn't realize her past was this bad. I knew it wasn't good but the way she started this conversation makes me nervous. Not for me. For her. Will it bring up PTSD for her? How could she think that I wouldn't love her if I knew about her past? Does she not know how much I love her? "Stella how could you ever think that I won't love you after you tell me? I love you so much that is scares me, I can't turn something like that off like a light switch. I know your past is something you don't like to talk about and I don't want you to feel like you owe it to me to tell me."

Stella's POV:

I didn't think Kelly would look so horrified that I thought he wouldn't love me. He doesn't understand. It is hard for me to trust anyone. Everyone always leaves after they know. Always. "Everyone always leaves once they know Kelly." I say quietly, not able to raise my voice above a whisper. "Always."

"Not me." He says almost instantly.

"You can't promise me that."

"Yes I can." I look up at him, I haven't realized that I've been looking down at my lap. When I reach his eyes, they are sincere, unwavering, comforting.

"I thought I'd start with my mom." I pause, he sits there silently as I slowly sit on the corner of the bed opposite him. He shifts a little closer to me. "She was a drug addict. It would be easier to list the things she wasn't addicted to then to list the things she did use. I took care of my mom from the time I was 6. I fed her, helped her bathe when necessary, trying to keep her presentable. My father couldn't care less. As long as she didn't screw up his image and gave him children he didn't care what she did to herself. I tried to take care of my mom but it got hard as I got older and I had to go to school during the day. The first thing I would do was check on my mom when I got home. It was my job to take care of her and my siblings. I was one of 5 children, but it is only me and my sister that are left now. The worst days were when I come home from school to hear the melody of Stairway to Heaven by Led Zeppelin echoing through the house. I had taken to keeping Narcan in the house because that song only meant one thing: she was going to try to overdose. My mother had told me once that she wanted to die to that song. Even though she was high most of the time, she knew how my father treated us and it ate away at her, feeding her self hatred. She could hardly bare living knowing that her life was going to be forever controlled by my father. She figured it would give him an out if she died by overdosing, it would fuel his image rather than destroy it. Sometimes when she was high she didn't even remember our names. Sometimes she didn't even remember having my siblings. The day she died, I got home at the time I normally did and I heard that oh so familiar melody. I ran upstairs but when I got to her bedroom there was nothing I could do, she had shot up with such a large amount that the narcan didn't bring her back. I remember standing there, staring at her slumped over the bed with the needle still in her arm. I had to go find my sister and keep her away from mom's room before she saw mom. My sister was only 7." I stop to look at Kelly. His eyes are soft, unable to hide their sadness.

Severide's POV:

My gut wrenches at the thought of a young Stella shooting her mom up with Narcan. I brace myself for the worse as I know she only started with what she thought was the lesser part of her past. All I can do sit here with her as she goes through her life, picking it apart so she can show me the pieces.