3 Wishes and Endure the Pain

Jiao-long had long been accepted his fate from being a victim of unrequited love. He knew he didn't have a chance nor he had given an opportunity to confess his feelings from the person he loved. He had long been moved on and never indulge in love again. He still worked as a guard and sometimes, being pestered from a guy who was smitten to tease him. 

Li Wei regained his strength but he could never stop the poison from penetrating his internal organs to destroy it. He coughed up blood several times a day. And to all of that, he could only endure. Endure all the pain, endure his emotions, endure his feelings, endure his dreams. 

Endure. 

He showed his sunny smile when he faced the man he loved, shed tears behind his back. Wearing a mask that so that only he could feel the pain the fate had given to himself. 

He never asked anything in return. He never asked Jiao-long to love him nor he told his unconditional love to him. 

He just wants him to be happy, at least he could forget the pain from his past and learn to look from the future. 

He told himself, "Am I selfish? Am I too greedy?" For a young boy in love from this stupid guard, is he worthy of that? 

If he was gone, will he be sad? 

Did he find Li Wei annoying?

If Jiao-long heard that question...

He would unhesitatingly answered no. 

Li Wei helped him forget his misery. Li Wei taught him to be happy. Li Wei taught him to cherish, and he admit. 

He love him. It took him a few moments to fall in love, he wished that time stopped so he could cherish the moments they were together. 

Li Wei loved to nag. He likes dumplings but he loved wontons more. He loved the color of the sky. He likes cats. He even praised his cat Xiao Hei for his cuteness. It was also his only companion since he was a kid until they separated. 

Jiao-long also noticed that something's not right about Li Wei. It was as though he smiles luminously, but deep inside he kept emotions as if it was his biggest weakness. Jiao-long wanted to ask, what's wrong? Are you okay? 

But when he asked, Li Wei always said "I'm fine." 

He wanted to give Li Wei all his comfort, so he always accompanied him. He never knew why Li Wei stopped being a servant to the Young Madame but he frequently goes to the infirmary and still lives in Young Madame's most visited place in the villa, the herb garden. 

Jiao-long wondered, 'is he sick?' 

If he does, why didn't Li Wei tell him?

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One day when Li Jie and Delun went to the palace for a visit, Li Wei was the only one in the room where Li Jie often experiments herbs for a new medicine. It was the former General Wenyan's room. 

Li Wei suddenly coughed up blood, but this time, it was more worse than before. 

"It came too early as expected." Li Wei sighed and coughed until he finally sobered. 

He didn't know when will he die. As much as he wanted to live, he still didn't had given a chance to live at his 20's. 

He... couldn't be with Jiao-long forever. He smiled bitterly and forced himself that everything's okay. 

He walked out of the room and explored the herb garden without knowing that Jiao-long kept watching him all along. 

Jiao-long saw everything. Jiao-long saw how Li Wei coughed up blood and looked so weak. It felt like it stabbed him right in the chest seeing the red liquid went out from his mouth. 

Jiao-long cried, but it was the most painful tears that came out from his eyes all his life. He looked at the bloodstain on Li Wei's handkerchief and held it tight. 

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Jiao-long went to a doctor and examined the blood on the handkerchief and was diagnosed of Wolfsbane poison. 

It was as if he had been poured by cold water after he heard, he couldn't move his legs.

No one had ever survive while being contaminated by Wolfsbane. Worst case, it has no cure. 

Jiao-long lost hope and knelt to the ground, dazed and soulless. 

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Despite knowing everything, Jiao-long kept it himself. He understood Li Wei. He was the type of person that kept his problems to himself. He knows what Li Wei wants to do. 

Li Wei wants him to be happy. 

"Ge, let's play a game! My master thought this game when he was bored so I want to play it to you too!" Li Wei cheerfully said as he clung to Jiao-long's arm. Jiao-long looked down at Li Wei's soft, bouncy hair and his eyes softened. 

"Sure, what game is it?" 

"My master taught it to me. It's called rock-paper-scissors!" He told Jiao-long how to play the game. They were smiling as if they were looking at their own world happily. 

Attempting to play five rounds of rock-paper-scissors, Li Wei won against Jiao-long. 

"My master said that if you lose, you have to grant the winner's three wishes. Are you ready, ge?" said Li Wei. 

"Then, what is your wish?" Li Wei pretended to think hard what to wish and gasped in delight as if he suddenly have something in mind. 

"I want to hold Jiao ge's hand!" Jiao-long smiled and carefully held Li Wei's hand. Caressing Li Wei's rough palms because of work, Jiao-long felt that through all the years living his life in lonesomeness then he experiemce great blossoms of spring. 

Through all this, he was afraid that he will wake up to the harsh reality. So, he never let Li Wei's hand go. 

"Ge, I will be leaving soon. My master didn't even want to agree about it but I finally persuaded him! Am I brave for opposing my master?" Li Wei said. He swallowed up his sadness and smiled faintly as he firmly held Jiao-long's hand. 

"Yes, you're brave. I'm proud of you." 

'Not now, Jiao-long. Don't cry, you're not home yet. Wait until we get home okay?' 

"I may not going back. So, Jiao-ge don't be sad okay?" 

Jiao-long pinched his thigh just to stop his tears from falling. 

"Ge, my second wish...

I want to tell you, that I love you. So, Jiao-ge be healthy for me okay?" Jiao-long bit his lips until it bled. He's afraid, nervous, anxious, all emotions mixed up and erupted from his heart. Jiao-long's tears couldn't hold it and it gushed out from his eyes. 

Jiao-long hugged Li Wei and sobbed on his shoulder. Li Wei sobbed as well. 

"I love you too."

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Until, the day comes. Li Wei couldn't move anymore. His pulse slowly deteriorating. He his lids were getting heavy. Li Jie sobbed and ran to Delun's arms as Delun slowly patting his back. Delun gave Jiao-long and Li Wei privacy and dragged Li Jie outside. 

 Jiao-long let Li Wei lean on his arms. Li Wei knew the person was his Jiao ge because of the familiar scent. 

"Ge, I'm sorry." Li Wei muttered tardily as he grasped Jiao-long's hand. 

"Shh, it's okay. I'm right here." Jiao-long patted him and kept saying that it's okay. 

"Ge, I didn't get my last wish yet. W-will you hear me out?" Tugging at Jiao-long's sleeve, he spoke with difficulty. 

"I'm here, what is your wish?" 

"Ge, smile for me." Even with difficulty, Li Wei managed to smile and urged Jiao-long to do it. 

'How can I smile when you're leaving me? What am I gonna do?' 

Still, Jiao-long grinned and at the same time, crying. 

"Right. That's right. Gege looks handsome when smiling. I like it a lot." Li Wei's voice broke, shedding into tears. 

"Now, can I say my wish?" Jiao-long said. 

"Ge, what is it?" 

"If we ever met into our next lives, will you marry me?" Jiao-long's tears couldn't stop falling. 

"Mn, I will." 

Li Wei felt sleepy and said hoarsely, "Ge, I'm sleepy." 

"Sleep. I'm right here." 

Jiao-long never saw Li Wei's smile again. 

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End

Thank you for reading the story!