"So, the Gaffers lose it again. Must be tough, especially with your own teammate dissing you all over the World Wide Web!" Chris laughs.

I know one thing, I am not getting sent home. I didn't even get to do anything this challenge because of Chris.

...

"Voting was tough. I mean, Harold did win us the boxing challenge with his awesome slow-mo skills, so I didn't think it was fair to vote him off. Surprisingly enough, Heather was... Ok. You have to admit, after losing Lindsay and Beth, she lost her mean girl mojo- and by mojo, I mean she's not the biggest b*tch in the competition anymore, and I guess  she has been playing fairly. During Island, she cheated and manipulated her way to fourth place. I had no other choice than to pick between Duncan and Leshawna. I know Leshawna and I are in a weird place right now, but I need to think about what's best for the team. She caused such a big rift between everyone, and our team really suffered because of it. Do you know how humiliating it is to lose to someone like Justin?! As for Duncan, I just don't know. All he does is cause chaos and drama. Do we really need that?"

...

"Hey!" Leshawna yells at Chris. "I got enough problems without you mixing things up!"

"Heather, you gotta feel awful over your humiliating loss to Beth on the badminton court. Heather?" Chris says to her.

"Sorry, I'm trying to remember what feeling awful is like."

"Duncan might remember, seeing as he lost to a girl... in wrestling!"

"She's not a girl, she's Courtney! It's a whole 'nother thing."

"Malibu," Chris says, turning his attention to me. "You and Beth, I never thought I'd see the day you two would fued. I'm Team California."

I frown when he winks at me. Oh, he's so funny. I'm being sarcastic if you can't tell.

"There is no fued," I say as I roll my eyes at him.

"Sure," he says sarcastically with a laugh.

I'm so sick of him using us for views. This is what 'Total Drama' and Chris McLean do to people, and I'm sick of it. I never had an issue with Beth, but it's like this show has turned her, turned everyone, into something totally different. It's unfortunate, really. I formed some great friendships on this show, and now most of them are rotten. I never thought in million years that I'd have to rat out Gwen when that whole thing with Trent and Duncan went down. See? 'Total Drama' is bad for relationships.

"Harold," he continues. "I'd say you and Mal are the only one here who might be safe."

"Well, Chris. I-"

"Oh, nobody wants to hear it. Just take the statue, you too, California," Chris says as he tosses Harold and I our trophies. "Duncan, you're safe too. Leshawna..."

"Yes?" She asks nervously

"I'm sorry, but... heads up!"

...

"Heather?! Whoa, I didn't even have to try!"

...

"What?! You voted me off? Me?!" Heather screams.

Wow, did not see this coming.

...

Leshawna and I walk Heather to her limo. The first and last time I will ever be doing this. I'm only doing it this time because Leshawna asked me to. I'm at a place where I can't say I hate Heather anymore, but that doesn't mean we're best buddies either.

"Heather," Leshawna starts. "If its worth anything, you can count me as a friend. Just don't tell anyone I said so, and if this ends up on the TDA website, I'll pretend it was all CGI."

"Hey, something to remember me by, and to wear next time your hair looks as bad as it does today," Heather replies with a genuine smile as she hands Leshawna her crusty wig.

We stand there silently, Leshawna looking at the both of us. Oh please, what does she expect? Heather and I are not friends. I only wanted her on our team because I was not looking forward to dealing with her antics this season. Keep your friends close, and your enemy's closer.

"Come on, y'all have been at each others necks for two seasons," Leshawna says.

I sigh.

"Fine," I give in. "I guess you weren't... So bad this time around."

"You're still a total pain in my as$," she starts. "But... It wasn't so bad being your teammate- DON'T TELL ANYONE I TOLD YOU THAT!"

"Acquaintances?"

"Acquaintances."

We both shake on it. And just like that, she's gone.  

...

It's the end of an era really. As much as I couldn't stand Heather, the people loved our 'feud.' It's crazy to think it's over, and I mean for real this time. I just can't do another season of 'Total Drama.'

...

So Heater is gone. That leaves Beth, Justin, Lindsay, Courtney, Leshawna, and Duncan, piece of cake. Season one, it was bitter sweet when teams dissolved. At that time, my life wasn't a complete and total disaster, even during 'Letter gate'... But now, I can't say that I'm not at least a tiny bit relieved that teams are dissolving soon. I'd say it's more sweet than bitter, to be honest. I'm over being a Gapher, and I'm over Duncan- ok, I'm not over Duncan, but I'm trying to be.

"Ugh... I keep eating like this, and my booty's gonna get bitty," Leshawna says referring to the food.

"Yeah, I miss my mom's cooking," I pout.

"I miss your mom's cooking, too," she agrees. "Y'all, her mom makes the best meatloaf-"

She looks around, but no one seems to be interested, only me. Duncan is to distracted trying not to stare at me, but he's doing an awful job. I don't know, I just feel awkward. We haven't really had a real conversation, since... Ya know. I guess because the last one we had did not go well at all. Plus, I kinda aired out his dirty laundry last challenge. Ya know, when I went off on Beth...

"What's a girl gotta do?" Leshawna continues. "I've said I'm sorry about a teensy spa lie a million times! My own teammates? Teamies?"

"Go, Leshawna. Go, Leshawna," Harold says lazily.

"Careful, you'll get wind burn from moving so fast," she replies sarcastically.

"I don't know why they're still so mad, it was my spa day," I point out.

"Hey," Duncan interrupts nonchalantly. "I don't trust anybody anyway, so... heh, biz is usual, teamie."

I scoff. He doesn't trust anybody? Nobody here should trust him.

"Just let it go, girl," Leshawna says before I can say anything.

...

"Duncan and I are teammates, that's it. I guess it's better this way, we're nearing the end of the competition. I just want to win my money and start my shoe empire."

...

"Hey, can we-"

"Oh, Lindsay," I cut Duncan off. "Let me help you with that."

Duncan was trying to talk to me, but thank goodness Lindsay is having a hard time opening the door to our trailer. Ok, so I've been avoiding him. I'm just not ready to talk to him. I mean, I want to, we should,
but not now. I just need time to, I don't know... Figure out what's good for me. 

"Oh! Door, it's me, Lindsay. From this morning. You remember!" Lindsay says to our trailer.

"Door, meet doorknob," Courtney says annoyed.

"Whoa, what's going on here?" I say as I try to open it myself.

This must be one of Chris's tricks. 

"Intruder alert! Entry denied!" A loud voice sounds as bright lights begin to flash the area.

"Ah! Too bright!" I yell.

I stumble back and accidentally bump into Lindsay.

"Ahh!" We both scream.

Oh my god, we're falling! What the- who put this hole here?

"Malibu!" I hear Duncan and Leshawna yell.

My head hits the ground, and I'm assuming Lindsay lands next to me. Ugh, it's so dark in here!

"My head," I whine.

"I'm so dizzy!" Lindsay says.

My eyelids begin to droop, I feel so sleepy. I probably have a concussion. Thanks, Chris. And just like that, I'm out like a light.

...

"Mal," I hear someone call my name.

"Mal," I hear them say again, but I don't want to open my eyes.

Maybe I'm dreaming. Maybe Total Drama isn't real and I imagined it- or maybe I'm in the hospital because Chris finally did it, he finally destroyed me. The possibilities are endless.

"Oh my gosh, she's dead!" I hear Lindsay say.

"She's not dead, nimrod," Courtney says.

Definitely not dreaming.

"Malibu."

I finally open my eyes.

"Duncan?"

"You ok?" He asks.

"I think so."

I sit up and look around confusingly. What happened? Last thing I remember is trying to help Lindsay open the door, and then darkness. This has Chris written all over it.

"Where are we?" I ask as I rub my head.

"Somewhere under ground."

"I hate Chris," I whine.

"Me, too. So, um, Mal... I am-"

"Welcome to ze Clogedekel, world of spy movies, man and woman," Chris says as his projection appears out of nowhere.

"Dude, what's with the bad Jamaican accent?" Duncan asks.

"Jamaican?" Leshawna interjects. "More like Japanese."

"No, Swedish!" Courtney says.

"I'm thinking french," I add.

"Kinda sounds Italian to me," Harold replies

"Um, hello?" Chris interrupts. "It's Russian? And I should know, because I am an actor!"

A really bad actor.

"Any good spy in any good spy movie must have three essential skills. One, the ability to deactivate a bomb. Two, the ability to escape an exploding building. And three, the ability to fake an accent that makes people believe you actually speak the language. Like-a my fab Russian accent, man," Chris says in another fake accent. "You'll need two of the three skills to get through today's reward challenges. Can you guess which two? Let me give you a hint. Not the third one, man."

He let's out an evil laugh.

"Does anybody know anything about bombs?"

"Oh! I do, I do!" Lindsay says excitingly.

"Mr. Ninja Not-so-much over here doesn't get anywhere near the bomb," Duncan says referring to Harold.

"If you deactivate bombs the way you foil booby traps, we are so dead," Harold retaliates.

"Oh, and one last thing. Since I'm really ho-hum bored of the teams, I'm busting them up! From now on, it's every dude and dudette for themselves. I'll see you back on solid ground. Let the 007'ing begin."

And he's gone. Everyone stays silent. You can cut the tension with a knife. We look at each other awkwardly.

"If we're not teammates, does that mean we can't share lip gloss?" Lindsay asks Beth, finally breaking the silence.

"I'll miss your fruity lip goop!"

"Breaking us up?! After all we've been through?!" Leshawna exclaims.

"I know," I tell her. "But what can we do?"

Like Chris said, every man for himself... So let the games begin.

...