The sound of heavy rain and wind outside is the first thing Taehyung hears when he wakes up. He doesn’t think it was real at first, still lost in his dreams, but he feels a pull inside him and in less than a second, his eyes flutter open slowly. And the first thing his vision recognizes is the face of Jeongguk sleeping.

The brunet seemed so peaceful that Taehyung almost felt guilty because he felt like he was intruding something. Almost. The younger could also hear the soft snores and breaths coming out of Jeongguk’s slightly parted lips while the said male is in a vulnerable state.

It’s astonishing. Seeing someone so cocky and confident, most of the time, be this vulnerable. It’s like as if two opposite personalities are coming and melding into one. And, Taehyung knows that deep inside, he wouldn’t have it any other way.

The younger male flinches when something loud rings and echoes inside the four corners of the room. He went too far with staring at Jeongguk and got lost that he got surprised at the sound of a phone ringing.

He could see Jeongguk waking up slowly, stretching his limbs and his breathing rate starting to speed up, but he can’t find the energy to pretend that he’s sleeping so he just waits for Jeongguk to finally wake up.

And wake up, Jeongguk does. He opens his left eye first, as if checking if Taehyung was still there—at that, the latter wanted to squeal because how soft and cute can this man get—and when he confirms it to himself that Taehyung was still there, he blinks his eyes repeatedly while yawning.

“Is that your phone? Or mine?” Jeongguk asks, voice soft around the edges and also quiet. The younger male buries himself underneath the covers before shaking his head.

“Not mine. Definitely yours,” he mumbles, closing his eyes, before he hears Jeongguk laughing softly and muttering something he couldn’t hear.

“Sorry, baby. Did it wake you up?”

Taehyung only lets out a small huff when he feels Jeongguk move away to grab his phone only to come back immediately so he can stay close to the younger.

“Just answer it so it won’t stop ringing,” Taehyung yawns, closing his eyes and letting himself fall back into sleep.

Jeongguk hums. “Hey, what the fuck did you need at this time of the—”

He stops before letting out a sigh.

“Alright, thanks. Sorry for cursing at you. It’s just so early, man.” Jeongguk apologizes. “Thanks again, bye.”

“Who was it?”

The words come out of Taehyung’s mouth, completely unfiltered, and he almost cringes underneath the covers because he shouldn’t have asked. He shouldn’t care about who Jeongguk was talking to because that thing is personal and he doesn’t want this whole thing to be personal obviously—

“Just a classmate of mine. He said classes are cancelled for all students because of the storm,” Jeongguk mutters, voice still hoarse due to the fact that he had just woken up. He sets his phone aside and crawls underneath the covers to come face to face with Taehyung. “Cuddle?”

Taehyung laughs softly, the sour feeling earlier long gone, and nods shyly. “Make me warm. You were gone for too long.”

“Was I?” Jeongguk teases, a mocking tone leaking out of his voice as he wraps his arm around Taehyung’s waist to pull him close and the top of the latter’s head tucked underneath his chin.

“Mhm,” the younger answers, a soft giggle making its way out of his throat. “I’m hungry ‘swell.”

Jeongguk only laughs. “I can’t cook breakfast and keep you warm all at the same time.”

“You can, actually. I’ll grip onto you like a koala while you’re making breakfast.”

“That can be arranged,” Jeongguk whispers, smiling before leaving a kiss on the latter’s forehead and Taehyung almost fucking melts.

Something flutters inside of his stomach and he’s quite sure that it has nothing to do with his hunger and everything to do with the older male.

“So, what do you want? Breakfast or cuddles?” Jeongguk pulls away to see the other brunet’s face, only to see a frown and a small pout forming on his plush lips.

“Too hard to decide,” Taehyung mutters thoughtfully, still frowning as if he’s thinking really hard. “But breakfast. We can do the latter after doing the first one.”

Jeongguk only smiles before getting up and grabbing the younger male’s left hand. “Then I’ll be making it. Come on.”

The moment Taehyung stands up, he realizes that he was already in a large black sweater that was definitely not his size because he was swimming in them and a pair of clean boxers that’s probably owned by Jeongguk. The older male was already half-dressed as well, sweatpants hanging low from his hips, and Taehyung figures that maybe Jeongguk dressed both himself and Taehyung while the younger was sleeping.

“Make yourself comfortable in the living room, baby,” Jeongguk asks the moment they both arrive in the kitchen.

“Can’t I just stay here?” Taehyung asks, already swinging his legs back and forth once he was seated on the stool because it was too high from him. “I’ll turn the TV on.”

“Mhm, do anything you want, angel,” the older male says absentmindedly, already focused on finding the needed ingredients.”

Taehyung does turn the television on, watching the animation on the screen and sometimes watching Jeongguk work his way in the kitchen. Both things are amusing but watching Jeongguk’s muscular back with red scratches and marks from the previous night is an even better sight than any sight in the world.

It doesn’t take too long for Jeongguk to finish making breakfast, but the rain and wind were stronger and heavier by the time food was served and Taehyung’s slightly worried if he should get home by now.

“What are you worried ‘bout?” Jeongguk asks, setting the side dishes on the table before finally sitting down in front of the younger male. “Food’s gonna get cold.”

“I don’t know how I’ll get home with this weather,” Taehyung shrugs, picking up his chopsticks and diving straight on the rice.

“Stay for another night?” Jeongguk suggests, slightly hesitant as if he’s afraid he’ll cross a boundary or something.

Taehyung stares at him for a second—and he swears he sees a glint of anticipation in Jeongguk’s eyes but he doesn’t know if he’s just deluding himself or seeing things—his heart even stopping because the older male suggested that. Not that he didn’t want to stay because God knows how much Taehyung wants that but… Jeongguk being the one to suggest?

“Is it okay?” Taehyung asks, voice shaking a little.

The anticipation in Jeongguk’s eyes is replaced by a relieved one. He gives Taehyung a soft and fond smile. “Of course, angel, why not?”

Taehyung can’t help the giddy smile from forming on his mouth and the same flutter in his stomach from earlier when he sees the expression of the older male. “Then I will.”

“You’re a weak shit at this,” Taehyung cackles, a wide smile stretching against his own mouth, and he’s not even sure if he’s laughed this loud ever in his life that his stomach is hurting.

“I swear to God, Kim fucking Taehyung. Get that out of the screen now!” Jeongguk ends up yelling, face buried in the juncture of the younger male’s shoulder and neck, as the constant screams and creepy sound effects continue to play in the background.

“No way, this is funny, god, I wish you could see yourself right now,” the younger male only laughs, not focused on the horror movie playing anymore but to the man clinging onto him like he was his lifeline.

It was dark, the rain continuously pouring outside and the lights inside the apartment all turned off for a peaceful movie marathon, while Jeongguk and Taehyung were seated on the couch and covered in a thick blanket enough for two full-grown men.

“Baby, please,” Jeongguk lets out a groan and flinches when a jumpscare comes up the moment he takes a peak at the screen.

“Fine, whatever. This has no plot anyway, it’s boring. What movie do you want?” Taehyung clambers out of his hold and off the couch so he could get the PS4 controller. He exits the tab and opens a new one.

“I want anime,” Jeongguk pulls him in between of his thighs and puts his chin onto Taehyung’s shoulder. “Tokyo Ghoul, please?”

“Weak baby,” Taehyung mutters, entering the link quickly.

“You didn’t say that last night,” the older male whispers while he grazes his teeth against Taehyung’s earlobe softly.

“Whatever, still a weak baby—”

Taehyung’s cut off by a phone ringing abruptly and he’s sure that the phone is his since that certain ringtone was different from anyone else in his contacts. He knew that all too well and instead of feeling glad like he’s used to, he’s annoyed.

“Answer that one,” Jeongguk, who has no idea who the person is, leaves a chaste kiss on Taehyung’s neck and snaking his arms around Taehyung’s midsection to snatch the controller from his hold. Not even glancing on the phone ringing.

His phone was still ringing right beside the both of them so he grabs it, immediately pressing the accept button and putting his phone against his ear.

“Tae?”

He’s welcomed by the sound of Eunhee’s soft and gentle voice. And he should be glad. Or happy. Any positive emotion, at the least. But he’s not. He’s annoyed and he just wants to end the call as soon as it started.

“Yeah? Hey, good morning.”

Jeongguk still has no idea that Taehyung was already talking to his girlfriend, continuing to scroll through the website and hovering the cursor over the search bar to type the title of the anime he wanted to watch.

“Hey, good morning! Did I wake you up?” Still as cheerful as she can get.

“Hmm, no. It’s fine. Do you need something?” Taehyung asks and it comes out rushed. He tried to conceal his annoyance, believe him. Although, it just isn’t working.

Eunhee was quiet for a moment.

“No… I just wanted to ask if I can go over to yours right now—”

“No, Eunhee.” He cuts her off quickly and he could feel Jeongguk stiffen at the mention of his sister’s name. “I mean, no. Don’t come over. It’s dangerous outside. And I’m not home.”

“Huh…” Eunhee lets out a suspicious sound. “Where are you?”

Fuck.

Taehyung felt his heart pound against his chest because he’s never been good at lying and Eunhee was never too invasive to ask about his whereabouts ever since they started dating.

He bites his lip. “I’m at a friend’s. He let us crash here last night.”

“Weren’t you with Jeongguk-oppa last night?”

Another fucking thud in his chest.

He tries to calm his breathing rate so that his voice doesn’t shake even if his hand is. “Yeah, I went back to the bar last night with Jeongguk to drink a bit more then I met a few of my friends last night.”

Eunhee only hums, clearly not satisfied. “Alright. Good thing you told me you’re not home though. I would’ve went if you didn’t answer the call.”

“Just stay at home. It’s not safe out,” Taehyung feels Jeongguk wrapping his arm around him tighter. “I have to go. They’re still sleeping.”

Eunhee says her goodbyes before Taehyung’s hanging up and putting his phone aside.

“You’re worried?” Jeongguk mutters against his neck.

“No… I mean, technically, yes. She’s suspecting something, I think,” Taehyung relaxes his head on Jeongguk’s shoulder as they both wait for the screen to load.

The older male kisses the side of his forehead. “Don’t worry, baby. Just ignore it.”

And ignore it, Taehyung does.

//

“Taehyung! Where the fuck have you been all these days?! You didn’t go home after we went to the club four days ago and whenever I get home, you’re out. Whenever I’m out, you’re home! Should I be mad at Eunhee for stealing you all for herself?! You can’t do this to me!”

That’s what Jimin yells about when Taehyung enters their shared apartment at five o’clock in the afternoon, much earlier than the time he usually gets home which is around one o’clock in the morning and beyond.

Jimin jumps him and leaves Hoseok and Yoongi back in the couch just to hug Taehyung so tight that the younger of the two almost falls. He doesn’t even care that he’s already yelling in satoori, he just wants to yell at Taehyung for being gone every time.

Taehyung doesn’t have the heart to tell him that he shouldn’t be mad at Eunhee because she’s innocent. She hasn’t seen Taehyung for days either. The one to be blamed is Jeongguk, who always steals Taehyung for car trips and late-night drives after the younger male’s classes end.

Being with Jeongguk was something like putting your head out of your car’s windows in a highway or crossing a very loose hanging bridge and you’re stuck in the middle. It was reckless. It was dangerous. It was the type of situation that’s enough to make your heart beat fast because you’re scared of getting caught or falling. But it was also fun. It was also gratifying. It was satisfying. And most of all, it makes Taehyung feel alive.

He’s never felt this emotion in a long time, God, he doesn’t even know if he’s ever felt like this once in his whole life.

Being with Jeongguk makes him forget about everything else and just worry about how the next trip’s going to be. Or how far they’ll get to travel together this time without getting caught. He forgot about how the people around himself would think because he was too focused on what makes him happy.

And that isn’t even the worst.

It’s the fact that he doesn’t care. He doesn’t care that he’s going to end up in a ditch while hurting someone. He can’t find it in himself to care or to imagine what’s going to happen in the future because he just wants to cherish everything that’s currently happening to him right now.

That’s the worst.

It’s reckless but it was also fun. It was dangerous but it was also gratifying and every positive thing manages to balance every negative thing out. And that was enough for Taehyung.

“Don’t be mad at her, seriously. And don’t be such a crybaby either,” the taller male takes his bag off before wrapping an arm around Jimin’s neck and bringing him down to mess his hair a bit roughly which earns him a smack on the back from Jimin.

“I’m not a crybaby, shut up! I’m just mad at you because you seemed as if you forgot about me,” Jimin gets his head out of Taehyung’s hold and pushes him away with a frown.

“How can one forget someone as annoying as you, Jimin,” Hoseok sighs, taking his eyes out of the television playing. “In all honesty, even if I hated seeing your face around, Tae, it sucked without you. So, please. Bros before hoes.”

Taehyung shakes his head before sitting down beside Hoseok, “Just say you missed me, Hoseok-ah. And don’t call Eunhee a hoe.”

“As much as I want to force you to stay for tonight so we could hang out again, I can’t. I have plans with this guy,” Jimin sits down in between Yoongi and Taehyung before ruffling Yoongi’s mint-colored hair.

“And even if you asked me to, I’ll be going out too.”

“Ugh, man. Are you guys seriously leaving me out?” Hoseok groans, head falling onto the couch.

“I mean, you can come with us—”

“Fuck no, Jimin. This is our night,” Yoongi mutters, pouting a bit.

“God, I’d have to find a partner soon. I hate being the third wheel all the time.” Hoseok rolls his eyes towards north pole when he sees Yoongi’s scowl.

“You don’t need someone, Hoseok. You’re fine,” Taehyung reminds, reaching for his phone in his back pocket since it vibrated.

When he does, it’s a text from Eunhee so he frowns.

“Quit trying to make me feel better, it feels weird,” Hoseok says after a moment of realizing what Taehyung had just said.

From: Eunhee – 5:32PM
hey just reminding u bout our date later 7pm :D

He reads it again to make sure and bites his lip in realization that he forgot about his plans with Eunhee and made new plans with Jeongguk for tonight. His friends didn’t notice his discomfort since they were busy bickering in the background so that’s a good thing.

To: Eunhee – 5:34PM
fuck baby im sorry i forgot to tell you i had plans w yoongi, jimin and hoseok tonight. they wanted to catch up.

From: Eunhee – 5:34PM
you’re cancelling?

To: Eunhee – 5:35PM
yes im so sorry eunhee, i’ll just make it up to you. they wont let me away tonight for sure

From: Eunhee – 5:35PM
oh okay, tomorrow?

To: Eunhee – 5:36PM
i’ll check

There’s no reply from Eunhee anymore, even when Jeongguk sends him a text thirty minutes after saying he’s already in front of their apartment complex—he still doesn’t receive any reply.

“Are you going already?” Jimin asks, a bit shocked. “It’s still early.”

“Yeah, enjoy tonight, alright? We’ll catch up soon,” Taehyung smiles as he stands up. “I’ll see you guys.”

He checks if he has his wallet and phone in his back pocket as he waves back at them. Jimin just frowns and pouts at him and that’s the last thing he sees before he shuts their apartment door close. The brunet hurries in getting in the elevator and going down, already anticipating the night.

When he sees Jeongguk’s car, he hurriedly gets in the passenger seat and slamming the door shut. It isn’t even that dark outside yet, the sun only starting to set as purple and blue shades fill the sky.

“Four minutes and eleven seconds,” Jeongguk looks at him after glancing at his wristwatch, giving the younger male a cocky smirk.

“Shut up. I told you to text me when you’re near and not when you’re already in front of the damn apartment complex,” Taehyung rolls his eyes while pulling on the seatbelt. “Where are we off to tonight?”

“We’re getting dinner,” Jeongguk answers, already speeding away, and Taehyung’s heart plummets.

“What? We can’t be seen out,” the brunet says so fast that he swears he sees Jeongguk’s jaw clench. An awkward quiet moment passes by for a second, with the older male just driving with a stern look on his face and Taehyung waiting for his response.

“It’s located in a mall far from here so you don’t have to worry,” Jeongguk says, looking straight at the road and not sparing Taehyung a glance.

Although, the younger male doesn’t know if he should be glad or if he should be saying sorry by now since he’s already ruined the night and it hasn’t even started.

“I’m sorry,” Taehyung mutters, fiddling with his fingers, and removing his gaze away from Jeongguk. “I was just scared.”

Jeongguk doesn’t answer.

But when Taehyung looks at him, he sees the older male’s expression soften a bit.

“Jeongguk, I’m really sorry,” he mutters. “I ruined it, didn’t I?”

The latter lets out a harsh exhale, grip tightening around the wheel. “No, baby, you didn’t. Don’t think that way.”

“Your mood dropped, though, so I’m sorry. I know what I said is.. I mean—like—it kind of discredited your efforts for this night,” Taehyung explains, fingers slightly shaking already.

Jeongguk gives him a short glance before a soft smile appears in his face. His free hand travels to Taehyung’s own and it’s as if their hands were magnets because they interlock their fingers so naturally.

“It’s okay. I told you,” Jeongguk brings the latter’s hand near his lips and he leaves a chaste kiss on the skin. Something inside Taehyung’s stomach turns upside down as he bites his lower lip, staring at how domestic this whole situation looks. “You’ll love it there, seriously.”

Jeongguk rests both their hands on top of his thigh as though he’s never letting go of Taehyung’s hold even once.

“I’m sure I will,” Taehyung hums as if he’s thinking thoughtfully—even tapping a finger on his chin—and it makes Jeongguk chuckle. “Have you eaten there already?”

“Yes, I have. With my dad. It’s my all-time favorite and I’ve been wanting to take you there for a long time now,” Jeongguk rubs smooth circles onto his skin while speaking softly.

Taehyung doesn’t know when Jeongguk started acting so fond and so soft but seriously, he doesn’t mind. And he doesn’t care. He even loves it because he just wants Jeongguk in every way possible.

“You and your dad really have great tastes so I’m trusting you on this one,” Taehyung sighs.

“He really does have amazing taste. Wait ‘til you meet him,” the older male tightens his hold on Taehyung’s hand and Taehyung doesn’t know if he was kidding or not about meeting his father but it still makes his head reel at the thought nonetheless.

“That’ll have to be soon,” Taehyung mutters and he’s sure that Jeongguk heard it even though he only said it quietly because the car was also quiet—the only sound that fills the whole atmosphere of the car was the air condition blasting.

The younger male sneaks a glance on Jeongguk since he didn’t reply and was surprised to find that he was smiling as though he was really contented and elated.

And if Taehyung was being honest, seeing him smile like this is much better than any cocky smirk he’s received from the elder.

What he doesn’t realize, though, is that he’s slowly falling from the loose hanging bridge he tried so hard to cling onto. It feels exhilarating and fun as it starts. But it’s also so dangerous, and that’s what Taehyung doesn’t realize. He’s falling yet he doesn’t know how he’ll end up once time passes by and he’s nearing the sturdy ground.

“I have a question but I don’t really want to ruin this night yet.”

Taehyung almost does a double take because Jeongguk’s voice sounded so serious yet so quiet, like he’s afraid.

“It’s okay. Ask anything. What is it?” Taehyung asks, rubbing small circles on Jeongguk’s skin this time.

The older male moves to the side of the street and parks the car for a bit, not turning the engine off or anything. He just parks as the cars behind them earlier continue to pass by them.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, Jeongguk, go ahead.”

“What is this whole thing to you, Tae?”

 And Taehyung’s stomach sinks.

What is this whole thing to him. He, himself, doesn’t even know so how can he answer that?

The younger male opens his mouth only to close it again and tear his gaze away. He starts to pull his hand away only to be stopped by Jeongguk’s tight grip.

“Is this just sex to you?”

There’s no sting in his voice, Taehyung can tell, just genuine curiosity and hesitance.

“No,” Taehyung answers quickly, shaking his head. “This isn’t… just sex to me.”

Jeongguk stays quiet and the younger risks a glance, seeing Jeongguk stare at him as if he’s waiting to hear more.

“This isn’t just sex to me, Jeongguk,” he repeats. “I-I don’t know if that makes you uncomfortable but it’s just different now—”

“It doesn’t make me uncomfortable, baby,” Jeongguk coos, removing his seatbelt so he can face Taehyung completely.

“It’s just—I know, it may seem fast. It may seem abrupt. But it’s just—I can’t explain it. Seriously, you just… You’re suddenly there and it’s as if my whole fucking being is alive and I don’t know how you do it. You…” Taehyung trails off. “Just do it. I love being around you and I love seeing you happy. And I don’t even fucking know why I’m tearing up right now—”

“Baby, shh, it’s okay. Everything’s fine.” Jeongguk lets go of his hand so he can make Taehyung face him. “Everything’s okay.”

“Your sister’s my girlfriend, Guk, how is that okay.” Taehyung mumbles, saying it in a straight sentence feels cold.

Because no matter how many times they try to ignore that fact, it’s still there. Always there, and even for just one time, they know that they should talk about it.

Jeongguk blinks as his jaw clenches but his touch was still so soft. “I know, baby.”

Taehyung only stares at him, tears still welling up in his eyes because his chest seems to be so full because everything’s suddenly blowing up inside him right now.

“I know,” Jeongguk whispers, face nearing his this time, “but is it bad to say that I don’t give a shit?”

Taehyung doesn’t reply.

“Because I really don’t. Mom’s given her everything she needs and I had nothing and no one except for my dad. So, why can’t I have this? Can’t I be selfish for once?”

The younger male swallows the lump in his throat.

“Can’t I have this. Just this.” Jeongguk repeats, a lot softer and weaker now.

Taehyung doesn’t waste any more time and pushes his lips against Jeongguk’s and the latter was quick to respond, their lips moving against each other slowly and sensually as Taehyung’s hands crawl into the older male’s hair. It was warm, Jeongguk was always warm but Taehyung still finds himself surprised at the warmth the latter offers.

The kiss was slow, like they were both trying to make up for all the months they’ve missed. Suddenly, everything flashes in Taehyung’s mind. Maybe if he had contacted Jeongguk the first night they met, there wouldn’t be any problem right now. Maybe if he tried to give it a shot, both of them would be happy right now.

But he didn’t.

And so, he’s going to let go. He’s going to be selfish. He’s going to give this whole thing a shot.

“Yeah,” Taehyung pulls away from Jeongguk’s moist lips, “it’s not bad to let go or to be selfish for once.”