❝i just wanted you to know
that this is me trying
i just wanted you to know
that this is me trying❞

-this is me trying, taylor swift

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chapter thirty three, THE PROMISE OF SAFETY

 The streets were filled, loud music drowning out the sounds. AJ sat by the window of the taxi, watching fireworks erupt in the light sky as they made it into Tres Rocas.

They slowed and Sarah was the first to reach for the door handles. They got out, turning back to thank the taxi driver before looking around. "There's a lot going on" Pope's comment made AJ nod.

"Looks like it's a local holiday," Cleo said.

"Okay, so we got to assume that Singh's already gone upriver. We're looking for a guy named Jose. He's gonna take us to the dig site" John B told them and AJ furrowed her brows.

"Jose. Do you have a last name or?" Pope trailed off and John B shook his head.

"I do not have a last name" He admitted.

"Shit. It's gonna be like trying to find a teardrop in the ocean" Cleo sighed.

"I'm assuming river guides probably hang out by the river" Sarah stated, looking between them.

"Yeah but if they're like the guides at OBX, they're probably getting drunk on holiday" Pope reasoned.

"So let's start with the bars. Divide and conquer?" They shared looks and each of them nodded. "Okay, Let's do this" They did the pogues handshake and AJ went in the same direction as Pope and Cleo.

"Do you know Jose, a uh, tourist guide" AJ's broken Spanish made the girl cringe but it was the best she could do. The woman in front of her shook her head and AJ sighed before thanking her anyway.

AJ was smart enough to not wander off too far but when shouting broke out on the street the girl lost track of where Cleo and Pope were. She tried scanning the crowd. She even tried standing on her tippy toes as well. "Cleo!" She called out, taking a few steps and attempting to avoid bumping into people.

"sorry" She let out as she stumbled into a man behind her, the girl's Spanish coming out coated in her American accent. She couldn't even begin to focus on her leg, not when she was lost in a large crowd with absolutely no idea how to get back to the pogues.

"Pope!" She shouted, her head whipping in different directions. "Pope!" Again, and again, and again. Cleo and Pope's name's spilled from her lips with a cry. The girl started to feel a panic attack coming on.

"Shit" The curse was under her breath and she took a few steps back, trying to get herself out of the crowd. Bodies bumped into her and she flinched each time.

She could feel her vision narrowing and tried to take a deep breath in. She could've sworn she was hallucinating when she saw one of Singh's men at the end of the street. But it just looked too real.

When the man started to get closer she had to face the realization that she didn't even have the time to have a panic attack. She needed to run. She met his eyes from across the crowd and didn't have to think twice about his recognition.

The advantage of the girl being already across the crowded street meant she could sneak off rather easily. The downside, was she had no idea if she was getting closer to or further from the pogues.

When the girl finally slowed enough to catch her breath she needed to tighten the bandage on her leg to keep it from falling off. The split second of calm allowed her eyes to focus on the sign hanging off one of the stands.

Her Spanish was broken at best and she couldn't always remember the right words. She whipped her head back, scanning for Singhs' men in the crowd before making her way over to it.

"Excuse me, this sign, is it for the river?" AJ looked at the young woman who was working the stand. Even with her bad Spanish, the woman seemed to understand what she was asking. She nodded before reiterating that the sign lead to the river.

"thank you" AJ smiled before turning and heading down the path. Carefully looking behind her to check no one was following her. She prayed the pogues would be there already but she couldn't help but let doubt creep in.

The path was narrow at first and it was a bit harder to get through with her leg than she thought. She cursed to herself when she slipped a bit on wet mud, shooting pains spreading up her leg. She winced before trying to compose herself and keep moving.

She didn't know how long it would take to get to the river and she knew she probably didn't have time to waste. She made it another few feet before she slipped. Her ankle twisted slightly as she fell.

"Amelia" She didn't hear the voice at first and she flinched when she felt someone pull her up. She barely turned before her face dropped.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" AJ scoffed as she moved back from the person who helped her.

"I'm sorry okay? But clearly, I was right to come find you" Logan's words made her angrier, angry at the boy for not listening to her, for not staying where she felt it was safer.

"You were supposed to stay on the plane and go with Ward" AJ said and she watched his face twist. Her stomach dropped and she felt uneasy. "Ward still went to Guadeloupe, right?" His face told her everything she needed to know.

"for fuck sake" She cursed, leaning her head back and attempting to push past Logan. "where is he now?" She turned back slightly to try and get an answer out of her brother.

"trying to find Sarah," He said, looking down at his feet.

"what do the two of you not understand about us not wanting or needing your help?" She threw her hands up, trying to stay a few steps in front of him but failing.

"Let me help y-"

"no" AJ answered, pulling her arm out of his reach. She did not need to be babied and she didn't need his help. She was practically seething, her anger spilling out of her with every exhale. Logan was almost scared of her and what she might do next.

The boy endangered himself and she couldn't stand it if he got hurt, especially not if it was from the treasure hunt. Guilt flooding through her body at the dangers lurking for them.

"Where are the others?" Logan mustered up the courage to ask her the question. He wasn't surprised at her pointed glare.

"We got, separated. It's fine, we all know we're heading to the river. They'll be there" AJ answered him, keeping her eyes forward once she spoke. Not even a minute later the girl was stopping, so abruptly Logan almost didn't. She turned to him and he raised a brow as he waited for the girl to speak.

"why?" It was the only thing she could muster to ask.

"why?" Logan furrowed his brows. "why what? Why get off the plane? Cause I told you, I need to keep you safe, stop you from drowning in her path. I've already done such a horrible job at it and it was the one thing Mom asked me to do when she left for her trip. She wanted me-"

"What?" AJ cut the boy off, her mind scrambling.

"Before she left for her trip. She told me that if something happened, that she loved me and she asked me to keep you from getting in over your head, from getting too obsessed" He repeated and AJ shook her head.

The tape was never rerecorded, the message wasn't to find Big John, it was to find John B. She didn't rerecord because she knew the dangers of going back home. She didn't know if she'd survive it.

"Mel, what is it?" Logan's voice was filled with concern and worry.

"It's nothing, it's fine" She shook her head, she wasn't entirely sure why she didn't tell her brother what was scrambling in her mind. She shrugged his hand off her arm before continuing.

"Amelia, I'm just here to help. I'm sorry about everything. You're my only family, Mel, we've only got each other" Logan said as he caught up.

"no" She shook her head. "We're not on our own, not anymore and I asked one thing of you. It's not your job to keep me safe, its the other way around. And I've already failed so badly at it, why couldn't you just listen."

"You are the only person, the only person who has ever believed in me and trusted me and I know I fucked that all up. And I'm sorry that after mom left I got worse. But you are my sister and you're all I have left, I couldn't sit there and not worry, not think about mom's words." Logan grabbed onto AJ's arm and she turned, staring into his eyes as they filled with tears.

"I know you hate me, but that's not gonna stop me from being there for you." AJ's face softened.

"I don't hate you, Logan. I blame myself, I should've kept you safe. Your my little brother, I got all fucked up after mom left and I missed that you were hurting too. But that doesn't change anything. You're supposed to listen to me" She let out before continuing on.

"Amelia" Logan tried to get her to stop again. "Mel, please. Mom would want us to keep each other safe" It was a low blow but it was the only thing that made her turn around.

"It's my job to protect you. I was keeping you safe by telling you to stay on the plane. She left this to me, I dont want you here for all of this. I don't want to put you in danger for this. You should've stayed on the plane" She shook her head.

"Listen to me you son of a bitch" AJ heard her uncle yell and she didn't even bother looking back before quickening her pace.

"You have every right to be upset" Ward let out.

"I'm not upset. Who said I was upset?" As AJ got closer she was met with Sarah and John B. Relief filling her body immediately.

"Oh thank god" She breathed out, the girl rushing forward. "John B!" She shouted as she got closer. She watched the way his eyes shifted to Logan.

"Are the others with you?" He questioned.

"No." AJ shook her head. "We got separated I couldn't find them." John B's eyes trailed back to his younger cousin and AJ sighed. "I bumped into him, he won't leave. Said he's here to keep me safe"

"keep you safe?" John B scoffed. "right, 'cause he's done such a great job at that so far" He mumbled the last bit but AJ still caught it. And she was sure Logan did too.

"Have you seen the three Americans?" AJ's Spanish wasn't great, she was constantly reminded of that the entire day but it wasn't hard to make that one out. She turned, catching sight of Singh and his men.

"Uh, John B" AJ got out, hitting his arm.

"Singh, hey Singh is here" He warned the others.

"Time to go, time to go" Sarah grabbed her bag and the four teenagers moved forward.

"Hey shut up." John B told his dad and Ward. "Singh is in the market right now. Get in the damn boat, go go" He urged.

John B, AJ and Big John got into the boat with Sarah, uniting it as quickly as they could.

"What about Pope and Cleo?" Sarah questioned, her eyes finding AJ's.

"They'll figure it out," John B told her. AJ and Logan shared a look and it dawned on her what might happen to him if he was found by Singh. She turned to John B and he seemed to understand what his cousin was asking him. A small nod was all she needed before shifting and making room for her brother.

"Dad what are-" Sarah caught AJ's attention and she turned to find Ward also trying to get in.

"I'm going" He stated.

"No you're not" Sarah argued.

"Singh is dangerous. You're in over your head" Ward warned.

"Damn it" Sarah got out.

As soon as they were all in they got down, lowering their bodies from sight. AJ didn't need to look over at where Big John's glares were falling. She knew they were on Ward.

"I guess it's just us" Sarah mumbled.

"family fun time" AJ shook her head, catching Sarah's eyes from next to her.

The river was calm, and the boat was dead quiet. Not a single word was uttered between any of them. When they docked for the night AJ let out a sigh of relief at the fact that she didn't have to be crammed with them in the boat any longer.

"-And I know we've been through a lot, but we're still good, right?" AJ caught the end of their conversation as she walked over to Sarah and John B.

"Yeah, we're good" John B nodded before finally noticing AJ's presence.

"Hey lovebirds" She greeted, John B smiled lightly at the girl before moving to help his dad. "I don't think he's happy Logan's here" AJ breathed out as she sat down.

"he's not happy Ward is either" Sarah shrugged, leaning her head back slightly. "are you doing okay, with him here?" She questioned.

"It's so confusing. I mean, he's my brother. I know him better than anyone. And everything inside me wants to trust him. To take him for his word. But, after everything, I just don't know how I'm meant to do that." AJ looked down at her feet as she spoke.

"I wish I had the magic answer, I wish I could tell you what the right thing was." After thinking for a second, the Cameron girl settled on those words and rested her hand on AJ's leg. AJ turned to her, meeting her eyes.

"I know, and thank you" AJ breathed out.

"We should probably check over things one more time and then get some sleep" Sarah stood, offering AJ her hand. AJ smiled again and accepted the help, following behind her as they went to check on things.

AJ barely slept at all. The girl tossed and turned for hours as she waited. When the others finally woke up to leave she was already exhausted.

"That site's a whole day's walk. We gotta get up there before Moonrise. If we miss the solstice, then all this was for nothing. So, listen, Sarah, I'm telling you right now, if you fall behind, I ain't waiting." Big John said before turning to the girl.

"Dad, stop" John B tried to cut in.

"I ain't! What? I ain't, it's a matter of fact and I'm sorry but I won't wait for Amelia either" AJ couldn't say she didn't see it coming, considering her leg and all.

"Sorry about the cranky old man" John B apologized to both blonde girls and they shrugged.

"I'm gonna go tell that son of a bitch he ain't coming" Big John started to walk over but before he could, Ward was speaking up.

"Hey listen fellas. I'm real sorry but uh, I'm not gonna be able to make it up that mountain, not on this leg. I'd be slowing you down, that's all. So I'm just gonna hang here. Tell you what, I've got a flare gun if I see Singh come through here, I'll send up a flare. Let you all know he's coming. Least I can do" Ward said and AJ shared a look with Sarah.

"I'll stay too, I'm no more useful than Ward," AJ said, volunteering to stay down too.

"Thank you" Sarah was looking at her father.

"You're welcome. Good luck" Ward smiled slightly. John B moved over to AJ before they left.

"Are you sure?" He asked and she nodded.

"Plus, then you won't have to deal with either of them" AJ was referring to Ward and Logan. She already knew Logan wouldn't if she wasn't going with them.

"Are you sure, absolutely sure you want to be stuck with them?" John B asked again and she shrugged.

"I'll be fine. Plus, I'll keep my eye on Ward. Now go, before all of this was for nothing" She urged, shooing the boy away. She wasn't entirely sure this was the best idea either but she knew she would just slow them down if she went.

The girl sat on a crate off to the side. She didn't want to have to talk to Ward or her brother. She wanted silence, peace and just a few hours of rest for her mind.

"Don't even think about trying anything, Ward. It won't end well" Big John warned Ward.

"Just trying to take care of my daughter, John. What are you doing with your son?" Big John didn't answer, instead simply turning and following after John B and Sarah.

Ward returned to where he was earlier, sitting a few feet away from AJ. The three sat in silence, something AJ was grateful for, for a few moments. Those few moments passed all too quickly.

"You know, your mom was-"

"shut up" AJ glared at the man

"Listen, I get it. I do, but you should know it wasn't my fault. Your mom-"

"Don't you fucking talk about my mother" AJ stood, her rage building inside of her as Ward spoke.

"I'm sorry, you're angry. I understand" He put his hands up in defence and AJ scoffed.

"I'm angry? You murdered my mother." AJ spat.

"sit down, let me explain it" Ward tried to reason with her, standing up and attempting to get closer.

"stay away from her" Logan's voice surprised AJ and she looked to her brother. Logan moved, standing between Ward and AJ. "don't, just leave her alone. She doesn't want to listen to you explain how you murdered our mom." He put his hand on Ward's chest and the older man looked from him to AJ. Ward put his hands up again before backing down.

The sound of someone getting closer caught AJ's attention and she looked over. She couldn't see who it was but her stomach still dropped. She stood from her spot, barely moving a few inches before Singh was walking towards them.

"give me the flare," AJ said to Ward, reaching for his bag. He grabbed it before she could and he opened it. AJ thought he was going to send up the flare. When a second passed and he didn't AJ's face fell.

"Ward, give me the flare," She said again, looking between him and Singhs' men who were getting closer. "Ward" AJ called out.

"Ward, give her the flare" Logan stood too.

"Seriously?" AJ couldn't believe she was actually dumb enough to think Ward would be on his daughter's side. She couldn't lie and say the realization didn't make her take a few steps further from Logan as she tried to reach for Ward's bag.

"No!" Ward yelled, his tone a low growl. He ripped the bag from her reach. "no" He warned. AJ didn't listen, the girl pushed forward, grabbing the bag from his hands.

The motion sent the flare gun flying, the small object out of both of their reach. Something came over Ward in that moment and he lunged at the girl. In the midst of trying to push him off, she stole a glance towards where Singhs' men were coming from. She didn't have long.

"get off of her" She looked back and the flare gun was pointed at Ward. "get off of her right now" Logan ordered. Ward laughed before pulling away, the man looking back at Signhs men.

"fine, fine" He held his hands up and stood as AJ pushed herself further away, her hands scraping against the ground. She looked at Logan, anxiety settling in her stomach. He offered his hand and she took it, allowing him to help her up.

"here" Logan passed her the flare gun and she pointed it up in the sky, taking a deep breath and pulling the trigger. When nothing happened she did it again. And then laughter erupted behind her.

AJ hit it against her hands, and the flare gun jammed. She cursed to herself before she felt something against her back. "Put the flare down" She froze, the metal tip of the gun pushing into her lower back. She put her hands up, dropping the orange plastic flare gun from her hands.

She turned, one of Singh's men pointing a gun at Logan. Her eyes met Ward's as she turned and she raised a brow. "what are you going to do? Are you gonna murder me like you murdered my mother?" She let out with a breath.

"come on, we don't have all day ya know" Singh spoke from behind Ward and he pulled the gun away from AJ.

"come on" one of Singh's men grabbed AJ's arm and pulled her along with him. She looked back, sharing a look with her brother. Guilt washed over as she thought about the doubt she had in him moments earlier.

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