☆ ---------------------- ☆

It's been a week since... You know, happened.

Tsukasa's never been quieter.

He hasn't attended practice.

He hasn't come in contact with anyone from his troupe.

If you could consider him still apart of it.

Maybe they forgot about what happened.

No way, if they did, then they would've reached out to Tsukasa!

He wants to apologize, but do they even wanna see his face?

Probably not. Tsukasa came to that conclusion.

Of course they didn't wanna see him.

If what he did was so bad that he wasn't worthy to become a star anymore, then of course no one would like him.

-

"...? What time is it..." The sound of an alarm going off invaded his ears. His eyes shot open, and he immediately closed the alarm. "Finally, a weekend! Wahaha!" He was energetic at home, unlike at school. No one really liked him at school, he knew.

He wish he had known sooner.

He wish he didn't have to be oblivious to what others thought of him.

He wish he had been informed ahead of time so that he could improve.

Can he still improve even though he's been thought of that way for so long?

Was he beyond improvement?

Is that why he wasn't worthy anymore?

Tsukasa's mind was like a train going at full speed, rushing through the tracks with no stop, soon to turn into a trainwreck. He was being eaten up by his thoughts.

It's been like this for awhile. Ever since he lashed out at Nene.

He wish it would stop.

Tsukasa shook his head, "No time to be thinking of these unimportant things! I must take a shower so that I don't waste anytime lazying around!" He quickly got rid of his thoughts and went to the bathroom. He turned to his reflection on the mirror. He had eyebags and his hair was a literal mess.

Since when did he look like this?

Was this what Tsukasa really looked like now?

"That's ME?!" The boy exclaimed out of shock, trying to fix his hair. "No, I can't look like this! A star can't-..." He cut himself off. Since when did it feel so wrong to call himself a star?

"A star can't go around looking like this."

He finished showering.

He brushed his teeth.

He went back to his room to put his clothes on.

He brushed his hair.

He went to eat breakfast.

He washed the dishes.

Why was it so... Boring? Everything he was doing was so.. Boring.

"Ugh, I wanna do something... Maybe I'll go out! Yeah, that's it!" Tsukasa was so lost in thought that he accidentally broke a plate, dropping it in the sink. It shattered.

It shattered just like his heart did that day.

"Oh, shit!"

One of the shards of glass from the plate cut through his hand and he was left with a small cut, the crimson liquid that came from his body slowly started to evacuate from the opening.

It hurt.

He didn't pay mind, though. Instead, he focused on cleaning up the glass.

"Shiiiittt...."

Tsukasa cleaned everything up, throwing the broken plate into the trash. That was when he noticed the cut, he kind of forgot about it. He decided to leave it untreated for some reason.

A star with a blemished hand... Disgusting.

How could he ever call himself a star?

Why was he so clumsy? How could he get so distracted that he broke a plate?

He was so... Unworthy to become a star.

Just as Rui said.

"I'm not worthy anymore, am I?"

That thought appeared in his mind, but it was pushed to the back of his head. He couldn't think about that. He couldn't. If he thought he was unworthy, then what star would come to be for Saki?

He was doing it for Saki.

Not himself.

Tsukasa Tenma was just... There. He was just a body for the star that was supposed to come.

But that star never arrived.

Instead, he saw how the star traveled into other people.

People like Rui, people like Nene, people like Emu...

He saw how the star traveled into a lot of other people.

A lot of people he knew.

Except for him.

"Stupid, stop thinking about this, Tsukasa!" He said to himself.

If there wasn't anyone to comfort him, then he would do it himself.

"You're a future star... You need to think more positive!" He winced a bit at the words "future star".

If he was a future star, then when would the said future come?

He's been waiting for years.

-

There Tsukasa was, at a park. He liked to take walks then and there, like how he played with Saki and Toya. He saw how the other kids played with eachother, and he smiled, reminiscing. They were all so happy.

But was he?

Was Tsukasa truly happy?

"Stupid thoughts again! Just stop!" He told himself quietly.

Phoenix Wonderland was quite near from here.

"Maybe I should pay a visit...? I doubt they would be there, so there shouldn't be any pain in going."

He made up his mind and went to Phoenix Wonderland. He took the path to the Wonder Stage, a path he was very familiar with.

He didn't expect anyone to be there.

But there was a whole crowd.

A whole crowd of people sitting down, presumeably watching something.

He looked over to the stage, fear settling in his chest. His heart was pounding.

He wished, wished, wished that they weren't the ones performing.

But I guess fate chose another path, huh?

Because what he saw were the last people he wanted to come in contact with.

Tsukasa saw the three of them. Rui, Nene, Emu... They were all performing. And they looked so, so, happy. They were beaming with joy! Smiling, performing, actually doing a good job.

And he wasn't there with them.

You know why? Because unlike Tsukasa, the other three were actually worthy of being called "stars". They were actually good at their job. They actually made people smile. They were actually doing something that affected other people.

Unlike Tsukasa.

He was just there.

Like he always was.

They were so much happier without him.

Of course they were.

Who would want Tsukasa anyway? He was a future star, but they were already stars. Stars in the present. They were stars who were performing.

Tsukasa wasn't like them.

He was inferior.

And he was starting to believe the words that Rui said.

Maybe he really wasn't worthy.

☆ ---------------------- ☆

HHIHIHIIHIHIHIHI I REALLYREALLY REALLY REALLY REALYL LIEKD THIS CHAPTER. i have an idea where im going with this now!!!!!!! and im really excited to continue!!!!!! next update'll probably be tomorrow, so please continue reading!! also, this fic has gained a few more views so im really grateful!! thank you to everyone reading!!
love, kyn.