You said there was no beauty within you. 

You were a candle devoid of spark. 

So you set all your feelings on fire, 

In the hopes it would light up your dark. 

You said there was no beauty within you 

You were an ocean whose depths had run dry,

So you filled all the cracks in your laughter 

With the flood of tears you would cry.

And I wish that the beauty within you,

Hadn't cause you to view life with doubt,

Because you said there was no beauty within you,

But there sure is no beauty without. 

-e.h. 

***

I'm awake.

Staring.

I've never seen Atlas's sleeping face before.

Never noticed that the lines upon his skin were not from smiling. Were not laugher lines.

They were anger.

Anger that had long been sketched upon his features- sewn in to create a perminate fracture.

Now his lines were smooth.

Creased out and even as he took in deep, solid breaths.

Now a different feature distorted his face.

Paint.

I smiled, but I knew I was barely holding in the panic that I felt.

I wanted to wake him.

The ticking of the clock, each small click of sound, had my heart pounding louder and louder as I watched the already dry paint, become even more permenant to his skin.

I waited though.

Because I had never seen Atlas's sleeping face.

More minutes passed before I detected a small flicker of his eyelid.

A groan.

A crack of creaking bones as he stretches out his stiff muscles.

Then his dark blue eyes turn to me.

And the lines join in with the paint.

He's frowning. Already.

"Good morning." I whisper the words, afraid because I can smell something off. He's mad.

"You put a shirt on."

I blink back my surprise and look down at my covered skin.

"Um..."

Atlas sighs and puts a hand over his eyes, rubbing the sleep away.

"I was hoping to wake up before you. So I could....," He stops suddenly as he stares blankly at the ceiling.

There is a silence between us. It's broken as I whisper, "Perv."

Atlas's head whips in my direction, his eyes blazing out gold as a low growl strangles out of his throat.

I smile though.

And soon his growl is replaced with soft laugher.

And then we are both laughing.

He grabs me, pushing me down as he climbs to hold himself above my still laughing frame.

"Last night," he dips his head down, his mouth connecting to my neck.

"Was amazing."

I smile up at him. He smiles back.

In that moment I feel something click into my chest.

A silent thought escapes my mind.

Oh. So this is what it feels like. To be whole.

But then reality comes crashing back down on me as my eyes focus back to the paint upon his skin.

"You need to clean that..." I raise my hand, tracing down the swirled colors that had become mixed with others.

He growls playfully, "I need help."

I gulp. Last night had been amazing. Just as Atlas said. But in the heat of the moment, I couldn't push myself to give all of me to him. I still was held back by my darkness.

Atlas said nothing as I refused to take nothing else but my shirt off. Instead he smiled, a smile that held deep sadness, some anger, and a little frustration.

Instead he nodded, showing that he understood, and bent down to kiss my shoulder, his eyes consuming whatever flesh I allowed him to see.

Now those same eyes stared down at me.

Silently regarding my hesitation.

"Come here," It comes out as a playful growl, a smile on his face as he lifts me from the mattress.

I look down from his arms and gasp.

"Oh no..."

He laughs though.

"I can always buy new sheets."

I nod, but continue staring at the black, blue and purple- other faint colors traced in- but the smudges showing against the white sheets of what our night had created.

He leads me silently into the bathroom, setting me down standing in the shower.

"What-,"

Before I can continue he has the water running, a torrent of rain hitting me as I shriek, startled from the suddenness.

He steps in, still shirtless, but letting the water hit our skin and clothes as he holds out his hands.

"You said I needed to clean up."

His voice is husky. Deep. I've realized now that it gets this way when he is looking at me. Really looking at me.

I look up from the water, blinking back.

I'm shivering since the warmness is not hitting me, but instead Atlas now.

The steam from the room though is starting to build, letting me know that soon my discomfort will be over.

Standing before him in my wet clothes, I look up when I realized his eyes are on my chest.

"Hey," I cross my arms over, my nervousness coming back now that we are standing in the light. My breast showed under the wet shirt. Capturing his focus.

"Lexie."

There it is again.

That husky voice.

I sigh and reach for the bar of soap. Slowly dragging it across his skin.

The water soon swirls away. Draining down in a torrent of different colors.

His eyes don't leave me as I continue my work, slow progress in trying to get the stains off.

I'm staring at his chest.

His chest that quivers, and gives small shutters, when I touch.

Slowly, letting my head fall under the water with him, I kiss the left side, my lips grazing and catching the small trickles of water that come down with him.

He gives a soft groan. I look up and meet golden eyes. Golden eyes that let me know his wolf is staring down at me. His wolf is the one watching me.

My eyes don't leave his as I bend down again, and kiss the right side.

I'm too short to kiss his neck. But I want to.

So taking the risk of slipping I perch upon my toes, and reach my hand around the back of his neck, bringing his features down to bend- and become eye level with me.

Softly, almost so I won't startle him, I kiss his neck. Letting my tongue dart out and taste some of the water that is collecting upon him.

Ignoring the hot rain that is falling on us.

His hands reach out, quick and determined as he grabs my hips. Lifting me out of the shower.

I gasp, the soap slipping from my hand and clattering to the bottom of the tub.

But he ignores it. Violently ignores it as he lifts me onto the sink counter, fitting himself between me.

I ignore the pressing, sick, sensation within my chest.

I need to tell him.

I have to tell him.

But I want to become consumed.

A small part of me wonders. Really wonders. If I should even tell him my secrets at all.

If we couldn't just stay within this bubble- forgetting the past and instead creating a new, better future.

But that sick sensation fills me.

I push it aside.

Don't think about it.

So I don't.

Instead I hold these moments close within me. Thinking how limited they may be. How I may not have many because secrets, eventually, always come out.

And I knew how Atlas would react to mine.

So I don't think.

I don't think as he pushes closer to me, lost within the folds of my flesh.

I don't think as he gives me that devilish smile, slowly raising my shirt and letting his eyes covet my flesh.

I don't think as he squeezes my hips, his tongue painting a new sensation into me. One that I hope will carry through for the dark times ahead.

"Lexie."

My name upon his lips sends me gasping. Clinging to him harder as he groans into me. Soft. Yet desperate.

But I can't.

"Atlas."

The tone of my voice says it all.

He nods and holds me there, within his arms.

I close my eyes, letting the sound of the rain and the steam of the shower consume my senses as Atlas burns down my defense.