( — FOURTEEN ; YOU'RE TOO BEAUTIFUL, MILA )

MOVING to the Butterfly Estate was hard not only for me, but for Mitsuri and Muichiro as well. Mitsuri was weeping by the time I'd finished packing.

"You'll still come visit, right? Promise?" She'd cried, clinging onto my new white uniform's skirt.

So had Muichiro, minus the crying part. He simply tugged at the waistband of my uniform, gazing down at me with teal orbs.

"Looks like I'll have to walk a lot farther to get to you, then." And it was true. Mitsuri's estate was so near to Muichiro's, so this Mist Hashira was so used to getting to me quickly.

"Why are you so concerned about me, anyway?"

"Because I'll always love you."

"Always?"

"Always."

My heart had thumped wildly at that, and I simply stuck my tongue out at him.

Now, thinking back to that scenario, my cheeks blushed profusely as I tightly grasped a vial of painkillers to arrange in the table. I slowly placed it, careful to feel for the other bottles lying there.

"Ah, Mila-chan, do you want some coffee?" I heard Naho's voice ask next to me, and her hand was on my shoulder. "Are you going to pull an all-nighter again? Need any help?"

"No, I think I'll turn in early tonight." I answered, finally finishing at the work I was doing. I stacked up papers and took Naho's small hand in mine, before we ran into Aoi.

"Oh, Mila!" Aoi chirped, and I could almost see the shine in her smile. I was still blind though. "Thank goodness you're okay. I have to say, you look a lot prettier in the nurse uniform."

"Thanks, Aoi," I smiled back, pulling my cheek muscles into a satisfactory grin. "I, uh, was just on my way to bed."

"Naho, you do that, and then meet me in the kitchen to wash the dishes, okay?" Aoi replied, talking to the little girl next to me, still clutching my fingers.

"Mm, okay!"

° • ° • ° • °

AS I laid my head in my pillow, I thought of the previous events that led up to this moment.

What was up with life? Who or what was behind the things that were happening to me, anyway? Why couldn't I just control what was mine to begin with?

A certain memory took its place in my head, swirling the cloud of doubt even further. . .

It was my closest friend, Jijinchi Subaru. He lived in the next town over, and had a habit of bringing us desserts even though Akime repetitively told him it was okay, and that we already had sufficient meals.

"Look at Subaru again, geez." She and Subaru were both aged sixteen, a full four years ahead of me, which I didn't find fair. "Oi, everyone, Subaru has some bread!"

I smiled at the brunette who had just entered, and he returned the favor before gently placing a sticky piece of bread with a sweet aroma wafting towards my nose. I inhaled, wanting to remember its smell.

"You eat with your mouth, Mila-chan," Subaru teased, making me blush red. I had a crush on him for half my life — is that still a crush anymore? — yet I never confessed. He'd probably think I was too babyish. I'll keep being friends for now.

"Kids, could you go ahead stargaze then?" My mom instructed as she tried to wrangle Makki's spoon.

I grinned at my best friend and sister, who nodded and smiled in response.

However, before we could even stand up from the table, a sudden crash from our front door echoed through the walls, and Tsukasa bolted upright and squeaked.

"Oto-san, what was that?!" Akime yelled, instinctively hugging the little boys. Subaru tossed a spare axe that he always carried to my father, who caught his gracefully.

"Oh, dear, don't go!" My mother pleaded, before my father softly shook her hands off, and placed a tender kiss on her forehead.

"You and the kids will be fine. Subaru here will protect you."

When he had left the room, another crash followed, this time it was only a few inches away from Akime and the boys. She screamed when she heard the splintering sounds of the minka's wooden walls come tumbling down.

My eyes couldn't register the next series of events. But by the next millisecond, there was a disgusting creature ready to grab Akime. . . Subaru covered in his own blood. . .a woman with pink-and-green braids slicing its head clean off.

Subaru was wearing white that day.

Ever since that incident, I'd loathed the color white. It painstakingly reminded me of the times when I was a weak, frail, and lovesick girl. I was not any of those things now, but whenever I look back, all I see is a failure of a girl who never did anything right.

Yes. I was just a coward. A freak.

I stood up from the bed, dragging my feet along the floor. My walk turned into a sprint, and I headed towards the bathroom immediately, where I threw up.

Red. White. White. Red.

His white clothes were covered in crimson blood.

"He said he was going to marry me," Akime confessed, her arms never leaving Subaru's dead body. Mitsuri had left us for a moment alone, and now we were getting it. "He promised me."

"He's dead," I answered icily, glaring at Akime. I wanted to get out of here, I needed air, needed to puke. . .

"How can you say that?!" Akime lashed out, returning my glare. "He was our best friend!"

"The key word in that is was," I said, not meeting my family's gazes. Their eyes pitied me, and I loathed it. I hated it so much. "He's gone. He's not the Jijinchi Subaru anymore, Akime."

I didn't speak to Akime for three weeks after that, but we eventually got along and she found someone else, hence her marriage to Riku. I heard that Riku was a slayer in his early years, but quit so that he could run his own bakery, which was the most successful in their town.

When I returned to my room, I heard Muichiro's voice drift towards me, "Have a good night?"

"Barely," I answered. I sat next to him, the mattress sinking in our weight. "Mui, you'll never go away, right?"

"I can't promise that. Our job sometimes requires sacrifices." He hesitated for a moment. "You're way too beautiful for this world."

———

Oof cliffhanger hehe
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-Erin Chann