I want escape. I need to escape. I just wanna escape the pain or even my own mind. I no longer escape within my dreams. The dreams that were once a paradise of my own humanity,have become nightmares of thoughts I lust for or painful memories. I no longer sleep. I can no longer control my mind. I don't know why but my mind keeps believing the days of my true happiness will come back. It saddens me. I feel as if I'm dying within in. I can no longer hold back the tears. My laughter has become scorching screams. Be strong, become stronger, be strong. Why? Why must I be strong? What is all this fighting for worth? My exist no longer has a meaning. I'm in so much pain. I'm tired of all this. I'm tired of trying, of getting hurt. I'm confused. I don't know what im doing anymore. I feel as if Everything is meaningless. I need a break. An escape. Just anything that'll help forget. Forget who I am, what I've done, just everything. It'll be for a little while. Just until the bad vibes go away.