"You sure you want one more?" Alex asks, handing me another shot of tequila.

New Year's Eve. The Arctic Monkeys are having a quick gig at a club nearby. We got special entrances for that. Miles, Matt, Nick and Cookie(and some girlfriends of theirs) were staying at a hotel for the winter holiday, mostly spending time with Alex and I. In a week or so, school's starting. Crap. Anyway, this is not the time to think about school. The club is full, the music loud, the walls are wet, everyone's dancing, enjoying the last hour of the year. The boys will be singing from 0:30 to 1:15. They said they wouldn't get drunk till then. So they all had one shot of tequila. For now.

"Yeah." I swallow it, feeling the inside of my throat burn. For which felt like the third time. I was really getting pretty dizzy.

"Phoebe, please stop drinking at least till we finish, ok?" Alex said, kissing me.

"Uh-huh... I will go find Isaac and Sky." I shout over the loud music. Some shitty Irish band was now playing some shitty rock. My boyfriend sings it better, suckers.

I climb off the tall bar chair and go at our table in the corner. I only find Miles, who is frantically getting ready to take the stage and Dylan and Haley, who are drinking whiskey and smoking something that smells awful. What the hell are they smoking, I got no idea.

"Good luck, Miles, kick their shitty Irish asses out there." I pet him on the shoulder, feeling tipsy. I've never been drunk since... Well, I've never been drunk before.

"Umm yeah, sure I will... Are you alright, Phoebe?!" He gives me a questioning look.

"Hell yeah I am, I really am!" I scream, laughing hysterically. Yeah, Miles, I am clearly enjoying the night.

"Where are Isaac and Sky, eh?" I ask Haley. She puffs some smoke at me and says that they're on the dance floor.

"Twats." I mutter, still laughing.

An hour later, I am desperately trying to count with Al, Matt, Nick, Miles, Cookie(and their girlfriends who ade quite as drunk as I am) Haley, Skyler, Dylan and Isaac. Counting along with some other tons of already drunk people is great fun. Seeing the non-drunk count correctly, actually, makes me laugh like a crazy bitch. I've been laughing all night long, for nothing in particular. And the night's just starting.

"10...8.. Oh no, erm 9! Shit.. 6... Al look at me.. 3.. 2.. 1.. Happy New Year!!!!!" I scream at the top of my lungs as everyone cheers and applauses.

"Happy New Year, love." Alex says, touching the small of my back, pulling me for a long kiss.

"Happy New Year, you sexy little swine."

He pulls away, raising an eyebrow.

"I know you're drunk if you use my lyrics." He chuckles and kisses me again, harder this time.

"...just wait a bit longer, ok, babe?" He whispers in my ear, touching my butt. Hell yes, Al.

***

Thirty minutes later, Alex and the lads are rocking the hell out of the club. My eyes are burning and my body is shaking from the alcohol. Of course I didn't particularly respect Alex's command of not drinking until they were off stage.

Alex jumped around the stage, hitting a few chords of his electric guitar.

Everyone responded with woos and yeas and so Library pictures started playing after The Hellcat Spangled Shalalala.

"LIBRARY PICTURES OF THE QUICKENING CANOE!!" Alex would sing, making every girl join.

The guys were great, really. So energetic and all. But God, Alex... Was he perfect...

"Thanks, Dublin! Great as always. Happy New Year!" The boys went backstage at exactly 1:15 and soon came back to us, ready to enjoy the party.

"13 shots please!" Alex ordered at the bar, for all of us. The bartender lined up the shots and lifted the tequila bottle above them and, with two movements(back and forth), we were ready to gulp the stingy liquid. We all lifted the shots at the same time.

"To the future!" Alex said, smirking. We emptied the shots and started laughing and all that crappy things you usually see in movies before people really get drunk.

"Babe, dance with me, will ya?" Alex suggested, as Riptide by Vance Joy started. The DJ started doing his job.

"Yeah, 'course."

He took my hand and guided me to the dance floor through the tipsy people.

I saw Isaac do the same with Sky and it looked like Dylan and Haley were starting to the floor as well. The rest of the Monkeys invited their girlfriends, too and Miles was talking to a chick at the bar. Well, seems everyone's enjoying the party.

As we found some space, Alex stopped and took my hands.

"Follow my feet."

He held my hands and started stepping back and forth in the rhythm of the song. I was a dizzy so I couldn't really focus, I just kept laughing.

"Focus." He said, chuckling, pressing his lips to mine, sending shivers down my spine. He managed to wake me up for a bit.

"Lady, running down to the riptide, taken away to the dark side I wanna be your left hand man." He'd sing, his hips moving slightly, his left hand helping me do a pirouette. He'd than grab my waist and guide me, his right hand in my left one.

The rest of the song, we danced like real dancers. I mean, he lead me which way to go and he spun me so easily and I can even say that it might have looked graceful. I was a mess, but Alex made the mess look great. That's his talent.

"You're a good dancer, ya shall try it out more on stage!" I compliment him as we join the others at the table. A song we all despised was playing so we kinda padded away.

"Yeah, he hell is, but you don't want 'im to start dancing with an imaginary ghost." Nick says, pouring a tequila shot down his throat, pointing at his girlfriend who instantly started giggling.

"I suppose you're right." I say, giving Alex a peck on the cheek, laughing. I want him to dance with me, not with a ghost, I thought.

***

"Love... I told you you shouldn't have drunk that much." Alex said, slowly tapping his fingers to the toilet cabin I was in, throwing everything up. It's about 5 and we are pretty much going to leave. Sky and Isaac are drinking one last glass and Haley and Dylan are just waiting for them, because they will be going with the same taxi.

"How are you so fine? You've drunk way more than me." I say, choking out the last bits of those shitty drinks.

"I have practice." He said. I could almost hear him smirking.

"Bastard..." I get up, flush the water, a fresh smell invading the cabin. I start chewing on some mint gum and swallow my pills, even without water. I am a pro at swallowing pills. I felt too dizzy not to take them, just in case. I really don't want to have a dumbness crisis to ruin everyone's night. I open the door and almost bump into Alex, forgetting that he was there. Taking me by total surprise, he hits his lips on mine, his hands start tickling at my jumper, pushing me back in the cabin.  I almost choke on my gum but manage to swallow it before it gets tangled in our tongues. He starts kissing me hard and locks the door...

***

"You're not a very shy couple, may I point out." Nick says as we get back to our table, hand in hand. If I wasn't that drunk, I think the last 20 minutes wouldn't have taken place in a toilet.

"Wuddaya mean?" Alex says, putting his hand around my waist, pulling me closer to him. He gently squeezes my hip with his fingers, making me aware of the awkward situation we're in.

"Shut it, mate. Sex hair, sweaty hair, trembly fingers. Also, your Tee is stained. Lipstick stain at the collar, haven't ya noticed..?" Isaac says, smirking. Everyone was smirking. I was just drunk.

"Yeah well we ain't that sly, are we..?" He turns to me and chuckles.

"Ya know, we are leaving. Great show, guys, Miles... Happy New Year.. Yeah, absolutely... Love ya... Another year together has passed, sister... Cutie lioness I was sure we'd get you out of the house eventually... Nice to meet you, girls... Bye, Monkeys, Miles... See ya around... Great night with you, people, byee..." A burst of goodbyes and other cute remarks followed by hugs and shaken hands exploded from the taxi-leaving couples. We went outside with them till they waited for the taxi. We waved them goodbye as they disappeared in the New Year's lights.

"We shall go too, mates." Cookie said. Their girlfriends agreed, making cute yawning noises, hugging their Monkeys.

"Yeah, I will call a cab. Let me grab my guitar.." Nick says, heading back inside, phone in hand.

"I will go take mine too... I will get yours, too, Cookie." Alex offers, leaving my side. Miles was going to sleep at a hotel, too... He was leaving to London with his band the next morning.

***
Alex's perspective

"Ok, you really need to sleep. You'll be so hungover tomorrow." I say, taking the apartment's keys from her shaky hands. Hell, she wasn't even able to unlock the door.

She showers first and goes into the kitchen to get a cigarette while I go and take a quick bath myself.

When I finish, she is in bed, waiting for me to turn the light off, like I usually do.

"Shit, I'm so drunk." She giggles as I cuddle next to her.

"Love, I told you you got no practice."

I wrap my arms around her little body and pull her closer to my chest, our foreheads touching.

"I love you so much, Phoebe." I whisper, kissing her forehead.

"I love you too, Al... I don't know what I'd do without you."

"You'd be just as fine... I know you would.. You'd have Isaac and Haley and Dylan and you'd still have your book published and you'd get over everything anyway. You'd be just as strong without me."

"But I'd be empty and nobody would be holding me now. I'd have no one to kiss on Christmas.. I'd have no one to talk about books with.. I wouldn't have someone like you."

I said nothing else. She fell asleep shortly after. And I was holding her.

***
~a week and a half later~

"Wake up, love, wake up. You got school today, remember?"

I shake Phoebe on the shoulder and she  opens her beautiful black eyes. Her facial expression suddenly changes, excitement overwhelming her features.

"OH MY GOD I MIGHT HAVE RECEIVED THE LETTER FROM THE PUBLISHING HOUSE, I FORGOT TO CHECK YESTERDAY." She screams, jumping out of the bed, putting on her coat, combing her hair with her fingers for a second, taking the dogs in their leashes.

"I'll go check the mailbox and I'll take the dogs outside, okay? I'll be back in a second." She says, unlocking the door.I frown at her from the bedroom's door frame.

"What's wrong, Al?" She asks me, properly looking at me for the first time today.

"Where's my kiss?" I ask, my frown turning into a playful smile.

"I haven't even brushed my teeth."

"So what? A little kiss, love."

She comes up to me and puts her hands on my cheeks, bringing my face closer to hers, brushing her lips against mine.

"I will be back in a second."

She takes Ben and Max and wraps her coat tighter around her body, closing the door behind her. I sat down on the couch, turning on the Tv. I wasn't even paying attention. I was just thinking about the upcoming letter, which was to inform us about the number of copies Phoebe's book will be published in, about when it will be available on the shelves, about tons of other little details and all that. In no time, she was back.

"ALEX! ALEX! COME HERE!!" She was jumping happily in the hallway, taking her coat off, waiting impatiently for me to come there and read the papers.

...In less than two months, your book will be available in Ireland, England and America. 1 million copies in America, 750 thousands in England, 500 thousands in Ireland. We need one last urgent detail to be established, Miss Phillis. Would you like your book to have a dedication? If so, send me a word document at my e-mail address. Have a good day!
                                  Yours sincerely,
       William Kelts, Portobello Publishing

"Well, I got no idea whom I should dedicate the book to. Like, I would dedicate to all of you, but then it would be very cliché, dedicating it to 'every friend who's been by my side' or summat." She says, kinda confused.

"Phoebe, dedicate it to whom you feel like it. Write a quote there, I don't know. Think about it..."

"Yeah, I will... I gotta get ready for school..."

***

"Hey Thalia.." Phoebe says as we enter Fifi's.

I waited for her today and picked her up from school. I also got a chance to talk to Isaac who told us that him and Skyler are planning to study piano at London Arts College in two years' time. Which was great, great news because they'd finally be together, as they should. Till then, they'll see each other during holidays.  As Phoebe and I were walking down the street, holding hands, she asked me shyly if I wanted to stop to Fifi's for a bit. I know how much she likes that place and I know that she hasn't seen Thalia for a long time and the fact that we met there made me say 'yes' immediately. So here we are.

"Hi there." I say, smiling at her.

"Hello, my dears... First time this year here... Let me hug you, Phoebe.. I know it was hard for you..."

Obviously, Phoebe started crying as Thalia brought up the suicide subject, but I knew it was natural. Everyone would cry. So I just let her cry with Thalia now, looking around the caffé, realizing that even if almost a year since our first time together here has passed, nothing has really changed. Except us. We'd be the only things that changed. That sounds like Catcher in the Rye, if Phoebe could read my thoughts right now, she'd be smiling. After some stares from the other customers as Phoebe was sobbing in Thalia's arms, she managed to calm her breaths. We went to the table on the corner, Phoebe taking her usual seat.

"I love you." I say, looking in her puffy eyes. She smiles at me and looks through the window at a pair of slowly walking old people, seeming fascinated. So I look more carefully at them. However, I bet they tell her way more things than they do to me.

Thalia hands us our coffees and goes to take the orders from some other customers.

"I miss them, Al." Phoebe says, out of nowhere, making my heart jump for a second.

"I know you do. But if things happened the way they did, it means you can face them. It means it's meant to be."

"You are quoting my book. You... You read it?"

I nodded slowly. Her face lit up and a tired smiled appeared across her red lips, making her face seem even whiter. She took my hand in hers.

"I read it that night you slept over at Haley's. It... It was amazing, love."

And it really was amazing. I've never read a book with such a wonderfully unfolded plot. And the ending is so unexpected and beautifully heartbreaking. No doubt they're publishing her book.

"Thank you, Al." She sips from her coffee, wrapping her short fingers around it.

I hate myself profoundly for not being able to tell her how beautiful she is. For how bright she is, for how colorful her mind is, even though she goes through hell, for how simple she is, yet how unforgettable she becomes. In my head, everything is so simple. When it comes to saying it, my tongue gets stuck. I wonder if she feels loved by me. I wonder if she ever feels neglected by me because all I usually tell her is 'I love you'. She is so fragile, yet she is holding on with the strength of a warrior. I am not used to being gentle. Most girls just want to shag. So just cheesy bullshit is required in order to charm a chick. But for a woman, so many different things are required. So many things I am not used to.

"Phoebe... I love you. I am not good with words, but I love you. I love everything about you. I love how you open your eyes in the morning. I love how you combed your hair with your fingers when you darted out today. I love how you smile even if you feel like crying, I love how you try to be strong and to keep balance even if all you need is a hug or a hand to hold on to. I love how your lips taste when you have that cherry lipstick on. I love when you talk about books. I love when you talk about yourself. I love when you shyly hum along with the fans at our gigs, I love when you are doing homework and you are listening to music with your headphones on, slightly swaying in your chair. I love when you talk in the mirror in Italian or in French or in German. I love when you say you're practicing your fluency when I ask why you're talking in a foreign language in the mirror. I love when you pretend not to listen to me when I play the guitar in the living room while you are reading. I love when I catch you looking at me while I write songs. I love when you giggle when I tickle you. I love when you recognize all sort of things around you that have something to do with a book or a song or a memory of yours. I love when you sing in the shower. I love when you call me Al. I love when you hug me or kiss me or touch me. I love when your eyes are focused on me. I love when there are days like this one when the snow melts and you look like Snow White."

I said all that very fast, making her smile. I managed to say very few things, but I am glad that they were said.

"I look like Snow White?" She grinned, sitting back in her chair, crossing her legs.

"Well, your hair is way longer but ya know, the lips and the skin and the color of your eyes and hair..."

"I love you, Al." She took my hands in hers, squeezing them. She looked at our entwined fingers and than looked up to me.

"I love you more than anything." And I know she meant it. I simply knew.