As Joyce pushed the door open and stepped into the cool air-conditioned store, she felt an anxious flutter in her stomach... At least that's all she allowed herself to feel, nothing but anxiety in there. Two weeks had gone by, she'd only been sick two times since the morning after, Hopper was showing no signs of being ill after kissing her but she'd been having migraines almost every day, and of course, her period was late, just like the last times.

No, this was not like the last times...
It couldn't be.

She meandered down the isles, brushing the shelves with her fingertips as she searched for the small purple box. Finally she found it. She took it off the shelf and walked to an empty check-out, scanning it and paying. Sure, she could wait until after her shift to take it... She sat behind the stall and rubbed her eyes, maybe this waiting would be harder than she thought.

Hop had been almost cheerful that week, they hadn't seen much of each other as he was busy at work, filing the reports of Lonnie's 'visit', and Ellie had spent the week with Max, meaning he hadn't been collecting her from the Byer's house. He missed Joyce, but the last time he'd seen her was enough to keep the longing at bay.

Later, Hopper opened the door to Joyce's house, not bothering to knock. Her call sounded urgent though she wouldn't tell him what was the matter. Joyce sat on the couch, her head in her hands and a small paper bag sat on the coffee table in front of her.

"Hey, are you okay?" He asked, Joyce looked up and stood, reaching her arms out to wrap around him tightly. He pulled her close against his chest and rubbed her shoulder reassuringly.

"What's going on, Joy?" He asked, pulling away and looking down at her, his brow creased with anxiety, she scrunched her eyes shut and sighed. She sat on the couch, gesturing for him to do the same. She leant forward and reached for the paper bag on the table, pulling out the small box and setting it before them.

"Is- is that a pregnancy test-?" He stuttered, Joyce nodded, avoiding his confused gaze.

"Since we... I- I've been having symptoms..." She murmured, biting her lip uncomfortably.

"Wow... Okay uh-" He began, cutting himself off as he wasn't sure what to say.

"What if it's positive...?" Joyce whispered, breaking the silence between them.

"Let's not get ahead of ourselves, you haven't even taken it yet." He answered. She nodded, looking up into his eyes for the first time since he'd arrived.

"Yeah- yeah you're right, maybe it's nothing... okay, I'm gonna-" She sighed, picking up the box and gesturing to the bathroom. He nodded, planting a small peck on her cheek.

Joyce shut the door to the bathroom and sighed, leaning her back to the door.

"I can't be. I can't be... Please..." She whispered.

She emerged from the bathroom and Hop stood at the sight of her, taking her spare hand in his and pressing it to his lips.

"Ten minutes..." She sighed, dropping down onto the couch, her head in her hands.
He sat beside her and pulled her under his arm, she sighed and rested her head against his shoulder, screwing her eyes shut.

"Ten minutes is nothing, we can do that..." He sighed, rubbing her shoulder as he held her tight.

"What if it is?" Joyce whispered, breaking the crushing silence, Hop looked up with a puzzled expression.

"What is?" He asked, Joyce rolled her eyes at him incredulously.

"Positive! The test, what if it's-" She began, obviously getting more and more worked up over the thought.

"it'll be okay, Joy" He said, turning her to look at him fully, she shook her head.

"No- No, it won't Hop! Not if it's positive..." She answered, her eyes wide with panic.

"Joyce we'll make it work." He answered, trying his hardest to defuse her anxiety.

"What, we'll make a baby work!? How? Christ Hop we aren't even a couple! And the poor kids, I mean- their lives have been disrupted enough by otherworldly crap let alone real worldly!" She cried, her voice beginning to rise louder. Hop sighed and shook his head, scrubbing his jaw with a shaky hand. "Well, it's been ten minutes." He said after a few moments of silence; Joyce took a shuddering breath and shut her eyes.

"I'm sorry..." She said.

"It's okay, we're both just stressed... now, are you going to look or shall I?" He asked.

Joyce bit her lip as she thought. "I will." She said finally, Hop smiled and kissed her forehead.

"When you're ready." He said, forcing a small sad smile.

Joyce nodded and took a second to gather herself. She stood and so did he, following her to the bathroom where the complicated test kit waited. Joyce took a deep breath and looked down at the test results. Red for pregnant, blue for not.

"Oh my god" She whispered. Hopper felt his heart drop out of his stomach.

"Is it-?" He asked quietly. She stared down at the blue strip of paper.

"No... No it's negative" She said, Hop let out a laugh of relief, but Joyce stayed very very still.

"Joy, isn't this a good thing?" He asked, trying to read her expressionless face.

"Yeah... Yeah it's a good thing I just- It's silly, don't worry." She said, shaking it off quickly and setting the test down again. She couldn't tell him after the show and dance she'd just put on, but she felt a strange nagging of disappointment.

"Are you sure-" He began

"Yes I'm sure." She cut in, standing up to turn away from his sad gaze, she felt it would kill her to see it any longer. Hop sighed and pulled out his carton of cigarettes, lighting it and taking a long drag. The pair stood in awkward silence, not sure what to say or do...

"You know I would've supported whatever you wanted right? If it was positive I mean."
Joyce turned, her expression softened into a vague sort of smile.

"I know. I'm sorry..." She sighed, taking a step closer to him, he took her into a tight embrace and kissed the top of her head. She nodded against his chest, refusing to gaze up at him.
She hated the longing she felt tugging on her gut every time she looked into his eyes, it felt as though her heart would be crushed if she did once more... He tilted her chin up, their lips inches apart

"Hopper." She whispered firmly, flinching back a little - though she really didn't want to...

"Joyce, come on..." He sighed against her lips, an almost desperate tone beginning to creep into his voice. She took a shuddering breath, trying so hard to keep her wits.

"Hop, we aren't kids anymore." She gasped shakily, pushing her hands against his chest to stand up straight and step away from his embrace.

"Why can't we be Joyce? I mean, I haven't felt this good in years! That has to count for something." He groaned, his voice beginning to rise in frustration.

"This is why! This is exactly why we can't be!" She replied, rising to his tone as she gestured to the discarded pregnancy test on the table. "Christ, Hopper! Look what happened as a result of acting like kids, we almost fucking made some!" She yelled. Soon enough the pair were in a full-blown screaming match and neither seemed to be backing down. 

"It feels like torture, Joyce! It's killing me" Hop yelled, Joyce stopped for a moment.

"Wh-what is?" She stuttered, Hopper faltered - choosing his words carefully.

"This... Us..." He sighed, Joyce flinched at that word.

"Stop it-" She whispered, Hop was quiet - but not a good quiet, a fuming red hot quiet.

"Stop what? Loving you? Don't you think I've tried? I have spent years trying to stop it, believe me, Joyce I would do anything to stop feeling this god-awful way. I can't even look at you without feeling guilty." He said, slamming a fist on the kitchen counter he stood next to.