7. Seo Changbin • Sorry that I like You

Description: Seo Changbin as your friend
Genre: Little Angst
Word counts: ~1300 words
Song recommendation: Track 6 "좋아해서 미안" (Sorry that I like you) by Stray Kids



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"Seo Changbin, hold up I can't catch up!" You cried while catching up to him, while his back faced you beginning to disappear in the midst of this crowded park. You know perfectly well that he can't hear you nor he cared as he just run without looking back, leaving you and your poor weak legs trying to get to him.


You smiled bitterly, this kinda hurt your feelings as it depicted your affection to him, you running to him while he leave you behind.


It was after the next five full laps of running at this park that he started to look for you. You just chill on the bench under the tree while listening to music and fancying the breeze of the wind—which allure you to close your eyes and drift to sleepland.


Changbin come looking unaffected as if he hasn't run for the several miles. Even by closing your eyes, you know his presence only by the sound of his steps and his breath. He, the one known for his principles is the one that have the confidence flowing wherever in his body and it's reflected by his steady steps.


"You, I was looking everywhere for you! You shouldn't be sleeping right now when you're the one that start to whine about the unhealthy habits of ......." You faked sleeping a bit more as you don't want to hear Changbin's grumble—which you actually enjoy but today is just not the day. He then take a sit beside you, his shoulder graze over a little bit and giving you the goosebumps.


You sighed, your body shouldn't rebel and accepting his touch just like that. Your mind know that this is bad for your health and you just want to stop with all of this damned play of Changbin. The ambience itself is also not helping with all the fallen leaves and comfortable breath of the wind sparking those romantic feelings inside you.


This damned romanticization of beautiful park and people. You want to stop falling deeper into this love that you feel to Changbin, yet the universe is not trying to help, at all.


You and Changbin are friend since University days. Met by incident and friend ever since, closer than others which earns rumors every now and yet you two don't really care. At first, the feelings you have is just friendship with a little mix of admiration. You can see that he feels that way about you two. Both of you are popular. You as the cold one that reject every man ever and he as the humble heartthrob that made girls(and boys) fell in love. It was then before you start to recognize your admiration as a different emotions, he declared that he hated love relationship formed from friends.


You just laughed when that happened as he told you that he almost died cornered by this one karate girl whose convinced that Changbin led her around by making her fall in love and then rejected her. Which according to him, never, as he is generally nice with people and he never gives hope to anyone. It's just him being nice.


"You and I should never fell in love with each other as our friendship is more precious than that short-lived relation!" Back then, you agree. Now you just regretting your rash decision as now you fell head over heel to him.


Changbin snatched your left wired earphone, which taken you aback and pull you to his side because of his force.


"OY! I know you well! You're not sleeping" he said to your ear, hoping to wake you up even more. His breath tickles. His body heat from running discharges to you as the gap between you two are just non-existent at this point. One of his arms was resting behind you, making you conscious of his muscles even more.


You sighed in defeat, "Yeah yeah mom, are you done with your nagging?", as you lowered your other earphone. You scouted a little bit as he is too close to you and you'd like to gain your personal space. You tossed him a bottle of cold isotonic drink that you bought a while ago before settling down in this exact place. He take it with annoyance still visible on his face.


You gave him a little side hug to calm his anger which works really well as he started to relax. You chuckled a bit, this is just how you know him really well. Tips for angry Changbin is just to gave him a hug and he'll good in no time. One of his love language is physical touch you see.


You enjoying the brezee and your company really well, as it could be the last of them with you made up your mind to spill your feelings today.


"Hey Bin," you are starting the conversation. He just answered with a little bit of sound—sign of him listening—while playing with his phone.


"I like you" then he just froze. You chuckled again, disappointed but not surprised, his reaction is really honest so you already know your answer. You eyes fixed on those fallen leaves that fell to the street.


"While I think you know for a while, I can't hide my feelings anymore Bin. It's hurt too much. I also know that you tried to form some wall? Maybe hoping for me to stop loving you? Like this running session we have every week, I can see you keeping your distance." You inhale more oxygen, hoping the O2 also have some confidence mixed there.


You could see Changbin fidget from his seating position. This is the end of your friendship it seems. Funny enough your eyes haven't teared—yet.


"With this I take my step closer to you, even though it's never easy" you exhale with the end of the sentence.


"Or I might be too late? Is she already the one that occupied your mind?" You signalled on his phone's chat notification that popped out. He just stay quiet while looking at your eyes, his apologetic eyes, the one that you hate.


To be honest, you expect nothing from this conversation as you already know the outcome and his feelings. But it still good to sort out the tangled chain that were holding your heart for too long.


"I'm sorry that I like you. I'm sorry to be selfish. I'm sorry, this is my only way out as I started to blame me, blame you, as I don't know whose to blame anymore. Before you're so happy to see me but now you feel pressured and I don't like it." You get up from your seating area while Changbin is still there with his eyes following you.


"And this is also me bidding my goodbye to my own feelings, takes time but please gave me that, and after that we'll be friend again like the old times" your back facing him still, hoping with this you don't show your weakness which almost gust in the matter of seconds.


"I'm sorry" Changbin faintly mouthed the words, as he scared to made you cry with his rejection.


"Don't be Bin. You know me, you going to see me around soon" with this you are gone with your pace. Leaving him that not trying to stop you and neither of you hoping that he'll be. This is better.


With every honest word you uttered, there is this one lie. You're not going to see him again. Not now, not then. You're going to go far and it's without Changbin. Your steps getting lighter, with this you're ready to leave everything behind.


And you hope then Changbin will remember you every now and then as the best friend that he cherish.


Fin

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