Chapter 35 - It's Woven In My Soul, I Need to Let You Go

WARNING: Last Chapter. And I'd just like to remind you that J.K. Rowling killed Dobby and Fred and Dumbledore and Snape etcetera etcetera so I'm really not the bad guy here. Continue.


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Soon enough Louis noticed that Harry wasn't lying. It seriously didn't change a thing. Louis didn't know what to do. He knew Harry was attracted to him, that much was clear but what he didn't know was what Harry really felt. And that's exactly what Louis wanted to know. Did Harry love him? Saw him as a stepbrother? He needed to know.


Only problem was Harry, who sent mixed signals to Louis. One second he's close to Louis, breathing heavily, staring deep into his eyes, ready to kiss and the next he doesn't even look at Louis. Louis had a urge to play Katy Perry's Hot N' Cold to Harry.


Also, Harry was sort of depressed. He didn't like it here and Louis could tell he wanted to know Troy's situation and possibly be anywhere else but in this house. But Harry did nothing in order to get out, he stayed in the house, not stepping outside even once so Louis really had no idea what to do with him. He tried to make Harry go out but he refused.


When their doorbell rang, a week after the shower scene, Harry and Louis were eating in the kitchen alone, since Gemma was working. Louis and Harry got up at the same time saying, "I'll get it", since they both wanted to get out of the kitchen because the atmosphere was unbearable.


"I'll go", Harry said and left before Louis had a chance to argue. He walked to the door and opened it, freezing completely. He stared at Mihail, Malik and Vitali, examined their faces and moves and realised why they were here.


They were not here to fight.


They came to tell him that Troy's dead.


Harry frowned slightly and opened his mouth to say something but he couldn't get a word out. He heard Louis asking who is it at the door but he didn't answer. So soon Louis popped next to him, eyes narrowing as he saw the men. While Harry kept his eyes on them, Louis' eyes jumped between them and Harry and he realised he was third wheeling.


And in that moment, both Harry and Louis realised why Mihail, Malik and Vitali were still just standing there, and Louis understood the expression he had seen in Mihail's face when they left the house.


They were here to pick up Harry.


Now it was clear why Troy let them go so easily. "No," Louis said, all eyes turning on him. "No!"


"Louis...", Harry started but Louis recognized his voice and interrupted him immediately.


"Harry, no!"


Harry looked at Mihail, Malik and Vitali, who all were clearly not in the mood of pretending to be the bad guys. They clearly just wanted to get this over with and go to sleep. Harry dared to believe that they had came there straight after Troy's death. "Just a second", Harry said and closed the door, knowing damn well they'll stand behind the door, listening every word, until he would open it again.


Louis crossed his arms. "Нет! Нет!", he repeated time after time.


Harry placed his hands on Louis' shoulders, shaking him a bit. "Louis! You need to calm down."


"No", Louis stated once more and then pressed his lips in a thin line.


"I have to go."


Louis hated Troy. He truly, madly, deeply hated him. Even beyond the grave he managed to ruin everything Louis' had.


Louis shook his head, staring at Harry intensively. He didn't want to let Harry go. Not now. "Six months doesn't reduce your what?" Louis asked once again quietly, but when Harry didn't answer, Louis asked, "Do you love me?"


"Yeah", Harry breathed out finally. "I do love you."


That was all Louis had wanted to hear but he didn't have time to be happy about it because he could see he was loosing Harry. "Then be with me", Louis pleaded. "Forget everything else, forget the talk about being stepbrothers, forget the Russian mob shit. Just be with me."


"I can't", Harry half whispered, letting go of Louis' shoulders.


Louis stepped closer. "You don't have to choose them."


"You know it's not a choice", Harry murmured.


Louis shoulder's slumped, he felt like crying. "Harry, please..."


"That's where I belong", Harry said, "and that's where I can control things. Keep you and everyone else safe. That's where I can be me."


"No!" Louis yelled, pulling his hair desperately. "You can't. You said you can't be there! And keep us safe? There's no need for that, Troy's not here anymore! Think about it!"


"I have thought about it", Harry said, taking Louis' hands in his own. "I thought about it when I saw them behind the door. When I realised that Troy is dead. He's not there anymore. I can be there now. I can actually go to the one place where I won't feel like drowning. And you could go and live your life to the fullest. Be with your little sisters."


"I could come with you", Louis said, his voice sounding so weak and small.


Harry shook his head slowly. "You can't and you know it. You wouldn't last a day." Harry ran his finger gently across Louis' cheek. "I'm sorry, Lou."


"But I love you", Louis whispered.


Harry smiled sadly. "It would have never worked out between us. We're related. We have way too much history and we have changed. I can't live this life anymore and you can't live that life, you never truly could. You're too good for that."


Louis knew where Harry was going with this and he didn't want to hear it. "No, please, don't say it..."


Harry placed his hands on Louis' cheeks. "Hey, funny thing about loving someone, Lou— you need to know when it's in everyone's best interest to let them go." Harry kissed Louis' forehead and then took a step back, slowly letting go of Louis. "I'll keep an eye out for you, you'll be safe."


Louis wanted to scream and yell and wrap his arms around Harry and stop him from going but he couldn't. Why? Because he knew Harry was right and deep inside he had known that Harry wouldn't stay with him. That Harry couldn't stay. Louis just wasn't ready to admit it to himself. A tear escaped from his eye when Harry opened the door and turned to look at him one last time.


"You'll be alright", Harry said, giving him a small smile. "Farewell, Lou."


And then Louis watched as Harry walked away, his bloodhounds right behind him.

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