Finn had his head up and his eyes were squinting.
Trying to pry themselves open.
He blinked a couple of times,
his eyes darted at mine
until he turned the other way, facing the wall.
" Awh fuck. "
The first time I'd heard him speak.
Face to face.

"Jack, don't ever let me drink this much again.
I'm hallucinating, seeing her
in your fucking room. "
His hands moving up to his face, rubbing his eyes continuously.

Is he on something?

" Yo! Sorry I took a while!
Wasn't sure which one to pick. "
Jack bursted into the room, holding the soda's in his hands.
his head turning to us,
" Oh hey, you got him to wake up! "
He laughed, before plopping by the foot of the bed,
laying on his stomach
which was where Finn and I were.
My boyfriend whipped his head right back to me, then to Jack, and then back to me.
" Y/n? Is that really you? "
A change in his facial expression as he tried sitting up.
" I- "
He was about to leap for a hug but it ended up as him almost tipping over...
But luckily,
I caught him just in time.
" Just lay down, Finn. "
Catching his left arm, as Jack laughed "holy shit."
I guess he really is that way?
I thought...
" But h- how? "
Finn couldn't form out any of his words.
" Jack called me. Told me you were drunk. "
I mention, adjusting my position.
" Why would he- I- "
He continued slurring, looking back and forth at us two.
" I'm just sayin' dude. You'll thank me one day. "
Jack casually said, and he was laying
on his back now.
Finn and I looked at each other.
Knowing we thought of the same thing.
We needed to talk.
Alone.
He took a deep breathe in and,
" Can I have a word with Y/n? Like, alone? "
Our heads turned back to Jack.
" What are you guys lookin' at me for? I- "
He paused his words, realizing Finn was serious.
" I'll be outside... "
Jack slumped off the bed
and walked out the door.
Leaving Finn and I alone in the bedroom.

This STILL felt like a movie for some reason?

I was still looking at the door,
anxious to speak to him.
Thing is.
I wasn't sure why...
" Y/n? "
I turn my head around, facing
and examining his features.
He still had his brown curls that would cover a part of his face.
His eyebags that looked deeper into his skin that would illuminate those
dark chocolate brown eyes of his.
Oh and Finn's lips that was shades in pink.
I'd remember how I'd get to kiss him.
Lastly his pale lanky figure, and his hands.
I bowed my head down.
" Are you okay? "
Finn asked me which whipped my head
back up.
" You're asking me if I'm okay? "
I almost laugh to myself, seeing what state
he's in right now.
He was serious.
" Are you, Y/n? "
He asked again. I took a moment to think
of what to answer.
The truth??? The lie???
Or one that's partly the truth
and the lie?
" Be honest. "
He added, his arms and hands crossed over his knees that were up.
Shit.
" At-at the moment, yes.
Knowing you're safe. And um, with me. "
I stutter a little.
Noticing how he couldn't take his eyes
off me one bit.
" Are- are you okay, Finn?"
I felt like I was about to break.
My throat started to feel tight,
my stomach feeling all messed up like before.
Looking a little longer at Finn, his eyes were starting to water
as I asked him.
" I'm- I'm fine too. "
He lied. I knew he would.
It was quiet again.
Neither of us has spoken to each other in a long time in person.
It was like we forgot to have a normal conversation.

I don't remember how we'd use to solve our problems.
I guess it was easy
because those were tiny little arguments,
but this?
This was different.
I- I knew we had
many things to say to each other.
We just aren't sure where or how to begin,
or even say them really...

Why isn't this as simple as I thought it
would be?

I feel my eyes start tearing up. I look to the side, hoping he didn't see a few tears
stroll down my face.
Breathing heavily,
covering my mouth with my sweater.
But I blew it, by sniffling and wiping my nose.

Fuck!

I tightly shut my eyes, which made more tears fall.
" Look at me, Y/n/n. "
Finn spoke softly,
and I suddenly felt like I knew
how to breathe again.
I couldn't bare to look. I just couldn't.
" Please, baby? "
From the side, I saw that he moved closer.
" Y/n? "
At this point, I was balling my eyes out.
I hated him. I hated him for leaving
me for this long.
But at the same time, I prolonged him.
With the thought of his touch?
His words, and the way he'd make me feel in a good and loving sense...
But mostly, I hated him for making me
feel this way.
My head managed to turn to him.
A worried and the look of guilt was smeared across his face.
He maneuvered his head, telling me to
come closer to him. 
His hand moving down, slightly patting the carpeted floor for me to sit there.
Looking down at his hand then back at him.
Knowing this very decision would be
the one thing that would change
everything
between us two.
After contemplating for about a minute...

Do I???
Ughh...
Why Finn.
Why did you have to make me fall for you.

I scooted closer to Finn sitting sideways, his arm wrapping around me.
Embracing each other after a loooong time.
" I- I know you hate me. "
Finn mentioned, sounding as if
he didn't want to say it.
I sat next to him sniffling, letting the boy speak out his mind first.
"  Y/n, I want you to listen to me, okay? "
Finn peaked over to look at me, I nodded.
" I'm really sorry I left the hotel and went back.
It- it was never my intention
to- to hurt you. Never was.
Never will be. "
He paused,
" I regret, every word that I've said to you over the phone when you called me.
I felt like absolute shit hearing you cry
in all the 132 voicemails you sent me.
Especially now... "
He kept count?
His voice almost trembling, our eyes locked to one another.
" Yes, I kept count.
And I- I was gonna go home tonight,
but I ended up, you know? "
No Finn, I don't know...
" I promise and swear to you that I didn't hook up with ANYBODY
from the time we were apart. "
That thought never occurred to me for some reason.
" I- I couldn't an- and I'd never do that
to you, Y/n.
You- You're the best thing
that's ever happened to me, Y/n. "
He paused, his words almost choking.
" I didn't mean to leave you, and I didn't mean for us to have space
an-and all that other bullshit. "
Finn was already crying.
Though he had no emotion shown on his face,
there were tears falling from his eyes.
" I guess I- I was just scared that
I might lose what, we have.
What I have. "
I continued on crying, feeling my heartbeat pound each time he spoke.
" I- can't, I just... "
He stuttered, afraid of what he was about to say.
" I can't lose you, Y/n. "
Finn admitted bowing his head,
his vulnerability breaking down the walls that had separated us.
Tears streaming down my face I,
" If we keep doing this,
I don't see this working out, Finn. "
Saying truthfully, I move forward
so we could really
face each other.
Finn met my gaze, his eyes reflecting a mix of longing from his regret.
" I'm so sorry Y/n.
I really hope you can forgive me. "
Tears welled up in his eyes as I listened to
Finn's heartfelt apology.
" Problem is... "
I paused, and he was eager to know what I was about to say next...

" I... I still love you Finn. And...
And I hate you for that. "
I felt myself gather all my emotions.
" I hate you for making me feel this way
towards you!
I slightly raised my voice, gesturing to my chest.
I had and NEEDED to let the feeling out
at some point...
" I'm so sorry, Y/n. "
He took both of my hands
and bundled them up in his. Bringing it
close to his mouth and planting a long kiss.
" But at the same time Finn I-...
I know I need you. "
I stop talking...
" I-  I want you.
I fucking missed you, Finn.
And, you weren't there when I needed you. "
" Let me say it again, you know I never wanted to hurt you, Y/n? "
He whispered, his voice breaking.
His thumb caressing a part of my hand.
" I was lost, and I made a terrible choice.
And e-ever since I took off...
I've-  I've spent every, single,
day regretting it, Y/n.
I- I don't know how I'm ever going to
make it up to you. "
Finn relaxed his body, his head down
and leaning back against the wall.
Biting my lip, I take a second to think
of what to answer.
I know I still wanted him to be a part of my life that way...

As much as he hurt me...
I still love Finn.
Sooo much.
" I'm- I'm sure you will... "
His head went back up.
" Somehow, I guess."
Tilting my head, sending him a small smile.
I hope we're okay after this?
A tiny grin started to form
on his mouth.

Right then and there we knew
we'd be fine.
At least, I hoped.
I still don't know what happened to him tonight.
How he got that bruise and a cut on his lips.
I don't know...
Maybe It's just gonna take awhile, that's all.

How long though...

Without even realizing,
Finn had his hand over his mouth.
His Adam's apple shooting up and down
from his throat.
Is he gonna-
Before I knew it Finn stood up and stormed into the bathroom.
My eyes widened as I could hear him gag and puke.
" Shit. "
I could hear him let another lode out...
I rush over to the bathroom to see Finn kneeling and bending over the toilet.
" It's okay. "
Next to Finn, I held his hair back away
from his face,
comforting his back as he threw up even more.
Now I was disgusted by it?
Since well, I'm not a really big fan
of vomit itself...
But, I knew Finn needed me.
His breath panting, throwing up once again.
" Jesus, Finn... How much did you drink? "
I whisper, Finn continuously barfing
into the toilet.
He held on the toilet and counter for support, before kneeling down.
" Jack! "
I yell for Finn's friend to get in the room.
I hear him rush to open the bedroom door and he stormed into the bathroom.
" What- What happened!? Oh!...??? "
He saw the whole scene....
" Could you get a glass of water an-and uh, maybe an Aspirin? "
I glance to look at Jack,
but most of my focus was on Finn.
" What's that? "
He scratched his head.
" It's- "
Shit!
How do i explain this?
" Just- just anything that'd help him. "
I answer, caressing his bare back, disgorging more of what he intaked earlier.
Jack scurried leaving the room, hoping he'd find something.
" Y/n, you know you don't have to- "
Was what Finn managed to say, and I was about to answer but yet
he spewed back into the toilet.
" Yeah, thought so. "
Squinting, I try not look at the puke that came out of him.
We were in there for awhile...
He hurled a couple more times until he finally let all of the alcohol out.

Finn was now sitting on the toilet,
his head hung back.
Grabbing some tissue, letting a little water run down it, prior to wiping his mouth
then tossing it into the trash after.
Brushing his hair back as I do so.
Sure I wasn't sure with getting back with Finn, but know I still cared for him.
I hoped he felt better after puking.

Cause he sure didn't look it.

Knowing Finn for being very pale,
after he threw up, his whole face was red.
As in tomato red...
Jack finally came in the bathroom with a glass of water and some sort of medication.
" Here. "
He placed them onto the counter.
There was the aspirin one but there was another?
Reading the back of the other tiny pill, promethazine?
" Will this help him? "
I ask showing Jack.
" It helps me? "
He answer, shooting his shoulders up in an unsure matter.
This guy...
" Finn. "
I walk over to Finn, holding the glass and the 2 pills infront of him.
" Drink some water and this.
It'll help. "
He whined, not wanting to do anything.
" C'mon, Finn. "
I slightly nudge his shoulder.
" Y/n. "
Was all he managed to say...
My name was the only thing he could word out everytime he spoke...
I sigh at the thought and,
" C'mon, Finn. Don't make me ask you again.
Please drink some water an-and the medicine? "
I hop on the cold tiled counter.
Meanwhile Jack leaned by the door frame
of the bathroom.
Finn looked up at me with tired watery eyes.
I shot up with a small smile before he
slowly took the glass and medication
from my hands.
He plopped the pills in his mouth but he didn't drink the water.
I hear Jack giggle at the side.
Seeing how bad of a pre-post hangover his friend was having.
" Hey. Finn? "
I sigh as I held his hand, guiding the glass
closer to where his mouth was.
Slightly opening his mouth he took a couple sips, swallowing the medicine.
Mind you, he still had his head tilted back.
It has been for a while.
" You good? "
I asked Finn, pushing his head
to a normal position.
" Mmhmmm... "
The boy mumbled smacking his lips together,
he eased closer to my stomach.
Before I knew it, Finn already had his head rested on my thighs.
His arms draping around my waist.

As my much as I missed this, I still had this off feeling.
Another is that he couldn't sleep here?
Neither could I.
We both had school tomorrow too.
I remembered.
First day...
" Shit. "
I whisper to myself looking down,
playing with Finn's hair.
" Everything okay? "
Jack looked at us weirdly.
Yet I'm still contemplating if Finn told him
about us.
" Yeah, it's just that.
We got school tomorrow. "
I answer, thinking of what's going to happen once we get home.
Especially when our parents do.
My head turned to the right, the sun just starting to beam from the side of the window.
It already day...

" We should get home. "
I mention and was about to slowly hop off
the counter but-
" You know you guys can stay the night or morning? "
Jack offered, laughing as he twirled his finger,
as he noticed too it was already daylight outside.
" Thanks, but I think Finn would wanna
go home. "
Brushing his curls back, his soft breath that matched my breathing.
" Oh yeah, he does wanna home. "
Jack scratched his head as he closed the bathroom door, sitting on the floor.
" He actually has been wanting to for the past couple of days since he's been here. "
He adds laughing.
I didn't know that?
Finn stirred in my lap, knowing that I
should move before he got even
more comfortable.
" How long has he stayed here? "
I question Jack.
" Wednesday? Sooo, 4? 5 days at most? "
He replied and I nodded in response.

" I'll get his suitcase and bring it outside since...
He's packed the other night.
Oh and here. "
Jack stood up, tossing me some random shirt.
before leaving the room.
Hearing him shuffle a few stuff
from the other side
of the wall.
Guess this shirt was for Finn.
Admiring his pale, lanky yet tall muscular figure.
" Finn? "
I lean forward to get a better look at his face.
Sure he was still super red but what highlighted it was his freckled cheeks, they were now dusted with the blemish of pink.
cute.
" Let's go home? "
I say as he blinked a couple times, his eyes
trying to adjust to the light.
" Hm? "
His head turning back and forth, stretching his arms up.
" I know you know wanna sleep, and believe me I do too but we- "
" I missed you, Y/n. "
Finn interrupted me, continuously rubbing his eyes.
It caught me off guard...
It's 4:17 in the morning and I'm sleep deprived!
Of course and wasn't expecting him
to say that?!?!?
" I- I missed you too, Finn. "
I reply, a childish smile forming on his face.
" Can you walk? "
Hopping off the counter, my shoes touching
the marbled floor.

Opening the shirt for him to wear, guided his head and hands through the sleeves.
" Yeah, I- I think I can. "
After getting the shirt on,
Finn stood up pretty quickly and easily,
both his hands on the wall,
supporting himself.
" Okay, try taking a few step. "
I stood in front of him, incase he'd fall.
But of course,
knowing he has a low tolerance in alcohol.
This guy was pretty much useless.
He held onto my shoulder, I used all my force just to keep him up before I yelled for
Jack to help.

Soon enough,
all three of us managed to make it down to the ground floor.
Jack and I had each of Finn's arm linked
over our shoulders.
This really did feel like a movie...
We cautiously made our way to Finn's car and well he,
" Is that my car? Why do you- "
He somehow stood up straight for a moment before falling back down to Jack and I.
" Yes, now quit yappin. "
Jack rolled his eyes. I knew he was tired and annoyed of Finn.
I kinda was too? I wished he could walk, at most.
" Okay careful, careful. "
We set and made Finn get comfortable in the passenger seat, putting the seat down
so he could lay down.
Jack tossed his luggage in the back of Finn's car.
" Thanks again, Jack. "
I smile at Finn's best friend as I made my way
to the drivers door.
" Don't mention it Y/n.
Y/n, right? "
He asked not being sure.
" Yup. "
" Here, call me if you need any help
with the guy. "
He handed me a note with his number on it before Jack saluted walking backwards,
away from the car.
" Sure thing. See ya, Jack. "
I wave goodbye and got in the car.
Only to see Finn's seat reclined,
he laid there passed out.
I couldn't bring myself back to the thought
if Jack knew about Finn and I.
He did ask if I was his sister but he mentioned all those other things...
I'm asking Finn once he's sober enough
to think.

I chuckle to myself, shaking my head.
Switching the engine, putting my seatbelt on
then backing out the parking lot.
I switched Spotify on, clicking shuffle and it played the song,
My Love Mine All Mine by Mitski.
For almost 4:30 in the morning,
I'm surprised there weren't any cars.
Maybe 2? 3 cars have might've passed by?

The music playing and driving through
the empty lone highway.
Thankfully the apartment complex wasn't too far from home.
" Y/n/n. "
Finn spoke, he was smiling yet his eyes
were still closed.
" Yes, Finn? "
Glancing at him for a moment but mostly kept my eyes on the road.

" Do you still love me? "
What an out of the blue question.
I started to feel my throat get all tight again,
my eyes beginning to water.

Gripping the steering while, I tilt my head.
Really took a moment of what to answer his half drunk and half sober ass.
I sniffled, trying my very stingiest
in keeping it in.
"Don't cry. Don't cry. 
Don't cry!"
Kept repeating in my head over and over.

" Very much so, Finn. "
I sigh, smiling to myself.
I couldn't hold it in.
Tears streaming down my face as I drove home.

I wasn't sure whether I was anxious to get back to the house cause of our parents?
Or what Finn and I will do
now that it's only just us in the house.

HEY GUYS!
Sorry it took me awhile to update the story. I've really been trying my best to write and keep up with this story!
Thank you so much to those who have still been reading <3