Ok, so school isn't going the way he expected. That doesn't mean he can't have a normal life. It's not like he wants to kill the octopus copycat so he should be able to just ignore it like he ignores most people...

Right?

That's when the doubts and the repressed anxiety started kicking in. Why would a murderer be allowed to have a normal life? He hurt so many people. Happiness was no longer an option for him. It was instead a piece of art in a museum. The water in a fountain after a day of running in heat. It was purely something he could only look at, admire but nerver indulge in. He wasn't allowed to touch it before why would he be allowed to now? Yes, normalcy didn't equal happiness but at least he could see what it's like, he could pretend this was his reality. That he wasn't a monster even if deep down he new he was. Maybe he belonged in the cage his family built? And yes his family were the constructors but he himself was the jailer. He held the key and he locked the door so he was the only one able to unlock it, so why didn't he? Why was he punishing himself? Oh right, he deserved it. After everything he's done he didn't deserve such a positive feeling. After he took so many lives without an once of pity or guilt, there was never any hesitation. However that thought raises the question, why does he punish himself if there's no guilt for his actions? Well i suppose the only answer for that is the guilt of not feeling guilty. Nevertheless there's always the possibility that he's scared of happiness. Scared of the power, the confidence that would come with it. The consequences that would come from those feelings. After all the higher you go the harder you'll fall. And somehow he felt he had already fallen from the heavens before, there was a nagging feeling of dread mixed with pain and fear, maybe even disappointment, why was that?

Killua was snapped out of his thoughts by the bell ringing.

While walking out of the classroom he runs into the blueberry. Apparently her... his? They're name was Nagisa Shiota. They had come up to him to introduce themselves, something about Killua not being talkative and some other things. He wasn't really paying attention just trying to figure out what pronouns to use. In the end he decided to just ask.
"What are your pronouns?" Blueberry respond by blushing and saying "Ah I'm a boy, he/him" once he got his answer well...

he left.

In his defense he didn't feel like talking why should he force himself to?

Femboy didn't seem to get the message as he followed him and continued talking about a room with weapons he needed to show him. Killua decided to follow simply because he was curious. He wanted to see what kind of weapons they had that would work against the emoji that broke the moon.

Once in the room, the twink decided to try and start up a conversation again. "So what's your name?" To which he only acknowledge by saying "Killua" and left it at that. He didn't feel the need to say anything else nor did he want people calling him Zoldyck.

Instead he let his mind wander to the mechanism of these weapons. He wanted to know what chemicals were used to make the knives and bbs. Since those only harmed the octopus nobody else. Not only did he want to know how it worked but he wanted to see why it was only affecting that octopus. What properties was that stupid sensei made of that caused that reaction from being touched by the bbs or knives. So logically he decided to take a lot of both items home with him for experiments. He didn't care if the femboy questioned him, he wasn't going to bother with answering.

During lunch he decided to just eat on the roof. Anywhere else was crowded(even if that crowd was two people). He could go to woods but he didn't think Koro-sensei would appreciate that and with his speed he'd surely find him at one point. Better to just avoid the lecture he wouldn't have paid attention to in the first place.

While he was there he heard strange noises coming from one side of the building. Now with Killua being a resident in dirty minded village, his head went to certain things. It wasn't until he looked did he realize what was actually happening. Though then again without context could one really tell if this was groping or innocent grabbing? Luckily for him what Koro-sensei said cleared up his doubts. The octopus seemed to be mocking the student for copying the movements of famous baseball player, saying things along the line of him never being like said baseball player. Killua agreed though he admitted for a normal person that was kinda harsh. The octopus then went on to explain that it wouldn't happen because they're bodies are different.

Killua eventually lost interest and went back to his food. Of course he's meal choice was sweets. What else was there to eat?

Sushi, apparently. As suddenly a piece of it was in his mouth, courtesy of the octopus. "Young Killua, you have to eat healthy, your pale complexion already shows a lack fo nutrition, from now on i will be making sure you get your vitamins." He said while in a strange superhero-like pose.

Killua would have argued and maybe even stabbed him had it not been for one of two things. He actually really enjoyed the sushi and technically the emojicon was right, he couldn't remember the last time he ate anything other than sweets. Not that he would ever admit that to the octopus. Plus he still had his sweets that he managed to keep away from the octopus wannabe.

Once at home he laid down on his hammock. Would he ever go home? Where even is home anymore? It certainly wasn't the mansion. That was more of a prison. Not the cage though, no the cage was his mind. He was the warden and his family the guards. So what even was a home? He had assumed it was a warm place, a safe, comforting place. It felt like he had one of those before so why couldn't he recall it? How much of his memory was missing? No matter how many times he's asked himself that no answer would come up. Maybe he should just ignore it? Thinking about isn't bringing back memories just troubling him more. Should he stay here? Maybe it's not a bad world, in fact it's kinda peaceful...

if you don't think about the octomaid that wants to destroy the world.

Still he'd already thought about how this could be his chance at something normal but would he even like normal? The thrill of a fight can be fun sometimes and it's not like he was ever going to stop his training. So how would he enjoy being normal? Maybe it's the safety in it, as if it was a break from life. Maybe this could be his new life? His new start.

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