'Nothing like none of these bitches
But sometimes I get in my feelings
Sometimes I know I be tripping
But why these hoes all in our business?'
•

1 Month Later
Hidden Hills, California
Onika Maraj

"You keep playing with me steady having my baby around this slide after I keep telling you I'm not with it, now she's not coming over there this week"

I had her BM so pressed it was insane, I had literally only seen and interacted with her one time and me and cardi wasn't even messing around at the time, I didn't even like her ass.

"I'm taking you to court, you not bouta try to control my life through my kid, are you dumb? That child support shit don't scare me the money real long over here Milan and you know that, bring my daughter to my house today or Henny gone be on ya doorstep tomorrow"

"Fuck you and your sister, I'm not scared of shit so send her! You not about to keep disrespecting me having my daughter around ya hoe of the month, period. My baby around my house saying a bitch name that I don't know, and tell that hoe don't ever touch my baby feet again, don't touch her period like y'all really getting me tight"

"You're a fucking idiot, I'm coming to get my kid in two hours so have her ready" Cardi hangs the FaceTime up right in her face before she even gets the chance to respond.

"She's so angry" I chuckle, amused that my presence bothered her so much.

"She slow as shit"

"Clearly, I'm not about to be too many more bitches and hoes though and I'm not about to keep sitting here watching you let her disrespect me either" She really just be letting that girl say any and everything about me and I wasn't with that at all.

"If I say something it's only gone make it worse, you gone be a lot of shit you never even heard of. She's petty like that, I gotta check her ass in person cause she'll pop shit over that phone all day"

"Well check her and check her fast cause she not about to keep talking crazy like that, never been a slide or anybodys flavor of the month, she's so bitter it's sad" I shake my head, in the end it was her daughter who suffered the most and she didn't even realize it.

"She always doing this dumb shit, as soon as she hear I'm fucking with somebody she trying to weaponize my kid. Shit sick, I dead might have to take her ass to court for full custody and I wasn't even trying to do that, like damn we can't just coparent in peace? Be careful who you procreate with for real cause it's scary out here"

"Don't worry I'm not planning on that no time soon, y'all like free birth control" I smile as she bust out laughing.

"Can't even be mad at it, shit crazy"

"That girl still love you or something, like it's definitely still feelings there on her side" She made that way too obvious every time she spoke.

My presence didn't have her this bothered and triggered for no reason.

"That ain't love it's hatred, our relationship was over before my daughter was even born so I doubt that shit, she just want to see me miserable so bad" She shakes her head and I shake my head at her oblivion.

Anybody could see that girl still had some emotional attachments to her outside of their daughter.

"Both of y'all slow" I mumble.

"What?" She stares at me with a raised brow.

"Nothing" I smile shaking my head.

"I heard that shit you not slick, it's coo though cause my slow ass bouta dip up outta here anyway" She stands up from the bed and I squint my eyes in confusion.

"Where you going?" I question sitting up.

"I'm going to get my number one girl, we bouta have a time. I'll hit you up later or something, I'm knowing this kid bouta have me busy so if I don't respond to a text or answer a call please don't lose ya pretty little head" She chuckles grabbing her keys off the nightstand.

"You just told her you was coming in two hours though?" I question confused cause the math was not mathing.

"And I am, I'm bouta go home freshen up and get dressed for my day, why you clockin me? Relax"

"Yea you can leave" I lay back down unbothered, cause if you need extra time to fuck on ya baby mother just say that.

This is exactly why I didn't deal with people who had kids and that's probably why that bitch always had so much to say, they still fucking.

"Yo something is really wrong with you" She laughs walking out the room leaving me in my feelings, I couldn't help but feel some type of way.

I couldn't shake this iffy feeling I had about her true intentions and it was bothering me.

I couldn't let her get one up on me like that, I'd rather her fuck around with a new bitch then the bm.

Just the thought was making me sick to my stomach.

Unlocking my phone I FaceTime a contact I hadn't touched in a while.

"Hey beautiful" His bright smile fills the screen.

"What you doing?"

"I'm waiting for my chef to come over to fix me some lunch, would you care to join? It's been a while and I miss you, I'll have her cook your favorite"

"Give me a hour"

Los Angeles, California
Belcalis Almanzar

"You so messy" I laugh wiping the bbq sauce from around her mouth, she was going crazy on these chicken tenders.

"Good" She smiles taking another bite making me and celo laugh.

We had been walking around Disney for two hours and definitely worked up an appetite doing all these activities and attractions.

I had picked her up three hours ago, dressed and ready just like I said.

Milan popped a lot of shit but she knew who was keeping that roof over her head and that's why I never took shit she said seriously, she was all talk.

And no matter what happens between us I knew she would never keep cali away from me even though she loved to threaten to, she just be mad talking shit.

"Why this place wild fun though? The drinks fire too, if it wasn't so many kids in here it'll be an adult playground" Celo says taking a bite out a wing.

"Word, everybody walking around drunk it'll lowkey be vibes but I only come here for my baby, my playground is the strip"

"Worda my dead, this shit coo too though. Not gone hold you, I needed to be out here with y'all, the city had too much pressure on my shoulders I felt like I was suffocating. Thank you cous for real, you saved me and you don't even know"

"I'd give all this shit away just to keep you out of harms way kid, it's nothing when it come to y'all you know that" I feed my mini me a fry before popping one in my mouth for myself.

"Don't know where I'd be without you for real, and I mean since the beginning, you the only person I ever looked up to"

"I'm knowing, big head ass following me all around the jects and shit" I chuckle as he laughs.

"You was having fun outside, I miss them days sometimes"

"Me too, life was simpler back then but shit, we up now" I smile thinking about how far we had came, we was a long way from them trenches that raised us.

"Facts, so wassup with you and shorty for real cause I swear I was hearing moans coming from upstairs last week when y'all was supposed to be recording in the studio" He chuckles popping a fry in his mouth.

"That could've been anybody up there, we don't always record on the days we're supposed to" I attempt to defer the conversation.

"Word? Cause I'm pretty sure I was chilling in the living room and she walked downstairs leaving with a fucked up lace" He checkmates, already knowing the truth.

"You wanna play detective and shit, you could've just said you knew. We dating I guess, nothing too deep but yea, I fuck with her heavy" I couldn't even fight the smile on my face when I talked about her, I was in too deep.

"I see, you cheesing mad hard, y'all cute or whatever" He smiles as I chuckle.

"Mad annoying"

I had been busy running around this park with them all day but I did manage to send a message her way, she never hit me back so I just figured she was busy too.

"That's who you was talking about in the club that day huh?" He questions and I nod.

"She was tweakin with me about that lil dance" A night I could never forget cause she fucked me real good to remind me of what I had at home.

I was never fumbling.

"That's who had you looking at ya phone like that? Niggas turned you into a meme so quick, you just looked like you got caught up" He laughs and I shake my head cause wasn't shit funny.

"Blew me, fucked my whole night up but she made sure I had a better one once we talked it out" I slyly smirk.

"Nasty freaky fuck" He shakes his head.

"Watch ya mouth, my baby right here" Cali was getting busy on this plate so she wasn't paying us no mind but with kids even when they wasn't listening, they was listening.

"You right I'm wildin, literally in Disney right now I'm bugging" We both laugh.

Hidden Hills, California
Onika Maraj

"What you think?"

Honestly my mind was somewhere else, the music falling deaf on my ears.

I couldn't tell him that though so I just nod and hum in response, I had layed down a couple verses but nothing was sticking to me right now.

He honestly wasn't the producer I need right now but the session was already scheduled and we did wrap up a previous track that was for sure going on the album so it wasn't all for nothing.

I hadn't communicated with my favorite producer in two days, the last words between us being me responding to her messages telling her I didn't want to talk.

She hadn't reached out since and I didn't expect her to, I would reach out when it was time.

I was trying to decipher these intense feelings and emotions I had been going through, and why I couldn't stomach the feel of lewis's lips on mine anymore.

I wanted to sprint out that mansion after the little peck he snuck in, for some reason it just didn't feel right, like I hadn't felt them a thousand times, so what changed?

I was a spiraling ball of emotions right now trying to figure everything out within myself.

I didn't go over his house to do anything but eat and entertain him for a bit but I felt like even if I did have further intentions I wouldn't have been able to follow through, and that bothered me.

I might've been in deeper than I thought and that was a huge problem, so a couple days apart to get my mind together was exactly what I need.

Unfortunately I couldn't completely ignore the longing I had to be in her presence but this time apart was for the greater good.

She was fucking my head up in more ways than one and I felt like I need to start weening myself off of her before I fell too deep.

Obviously I had some real feelings there and the more I was around her the more they intensified so the clear answer was distance, I had to distance myself from her.

The album was damn near done so finally turning it in would make distancing myself easier because then I wouldn't have to see her since we would be done recording, I would have to see her by choice.

Catching feelings wasn't in my plans and it happened against my will so now I had to act accordingly.

A part of me just wants to talk to her about this shit but I knew she wasn't like Lewis, she wasn't going to stick around and wait for me while I figured everything out, she was tender but she wasn't that damn tender.

And I was selfish so I could never stomach seeing her next to anybody that wasn't me and I knew if I had this conversation with her down the line that was exactly what was going to happen.

I refused.

This was apart of the problem though cause usually I'd send them back to wherever they came from and switch them out quick but with her it was so different, she had me moving so different and I hate it.

Like why did she have to matter so much?

I couldn't even stomach a kiss from somebody else cause only her lips felt right, they fit like the perfect piece to a puzzle on top of mine.

I had never felt like this with anybody, had me questioning that whole decade relationship cause even he couldn't come close to this pull.

I hate it so bad, like what was she doing to me, what made her so different?

"I was thinking you could write something to this, it's a slower beat but I think it matches the vibe of the album" He plays the instrumental cutting off my thoughts and I listen intently trying to get back in my studio vibe.

"Yea I can work with this, let me get these thoughts down" I had way too much on my mind.

Unlocking my phone I open my notes typing everything that came to my mind, flowing with the track.

"You ready to record it right now?" He questions as I get up going in the booth.

"Start the instrumental over" I tell him putting the headphones on.

The song probably wouldn't even make it to the album but I needed to get this shit off my chest and this was the only therapy I knew.