Knot kept sending Prem those looks. He knew Knot was still worried, but he wasn't going to break down in front of everyone; in front of the hazers.

Their group chat had evolved into some sort of therapy support group the night before. Prem took the chance, with Knot's and Tob's separate encouragement, to actually say what he was feeling. Knot didn't want him to sit and stew in his own frustrations anymore. Tob texted him and told him that's what friends are there for. Prem couldn't help but think those two would go well together. And he definitely wasn't bitter about that.

A hush fell over their corner of the bar as the speeches started. He listened closely to Arthit address their group. And then Kongpob. And then they just shared that look that always had. That look of that they're so in love and content with their lives. Prem wanted that. He used to have that.

Before he knew what his hands were doing, his phone was in his hands and his fingers were typing up a new message, ready to be added to the endless stream of those unanswered before.

Prem: I don't know exactly what happened. I'm not sure what I did Wad but I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry. I want to move on but I can't. I just can't. Tell me how.

He hit send before he gave it a second thought. His friends were happy. He wanted to be happy and dammit he just needed to know how he could move on. He needed to know how he could be happy again.