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v o l t i   s u b i t o

[It.] : Turn the page quickly.

THE NIGHT BEFORE my last meeting with Kaden, I lay in bed with wide eyes and my heart beating painfully in my chest. I could still see him for one last time, so why did my heart already feel so empty?

But even as the question flashed in my mind, the answer came equally as quickly. When I agreed to this, I went in with an open mind and an open heart, with the sole purpose of helping Kaden. So each word I said, each action I did, it was from the bottom of my heart. No more, no less. There was no keeping my heart safe and that was perfectly fine with me. The consequences, I knew, would be heartbreaking, but it was worth the heartbreak.

He was so worth the heartbreak.

I went to school the next day with dark circles beneath my eyes. Millie noticed that my mood was unusually sombre – in fact, she'd noticed something different about me the past month – but she didn't pry. Instead, she simply handed me my usual flask of tea, slipped her arm through mine and led me to class.

When class was over, I took the bus to the beach-house. I stared out of the window the whole journey, watching the cars blur into trees and the trees blur into pavements, until they were all nothing but one big massive blur. Somewhere along the way, an arbitrary idea came to mind and I held fast onto it for the rest of the ride.

It wasn't a surprise when, upon arriving at the Brettons' beach-house, Edwin told me that Adelaide wanted to see me. I entered her study room and she was once again wearing her stylish glasses, a foreboding expression on her face.

"I just wanted to thank you for coming over again," she began quite cordially, "seven times, in fact. You seemed to have played Evangeline well enough and I appreciate you taking the effort to do so."

I forced a smile on my face. "It was the least I could do."

"Well, I appreciate it all the same," she acknowledged and picked up her pen again. "Kaden's upstairs in his room. Edwin will see you up."

The room was silent again and I knew that she expected me to leave. But I couldn't. Not until I attempted this.

Taking a deep breath, I gathered every bit of courage in me and took a step forward. "I have to ask you something." When she looked up, I continued, "is there any way, any way whatsoever, that I can continue to stay with Kaden?"

The expression on her face remained indifferent, but I heard the warning in her voice nonetheless. "What are you trying to say, Isla?"

"I'm saying," taking another step forward, I locked my gaze with hers, "please let me stay with Kaden until he regains his sight."

And maybe even longer because I just can't take a step back.

She was silent for so long I almost thought she hadn't heard me. But then her gaze turned unrelenting and I knew I had dug a grave for myself. Now I had to lie in it.

"I thought we agreed on this," she began, in a clipped, icy tone. "Seven meetings, at most, and then you'd never see him again."

"Yes, but – "

"You signed it plain and clear on the contract. Or do I have to take it out again to remind you?"

I shook my head. "I remember, but listen – "

"No, you listen. I didn't bring you in so you could form some sort of attachment to my son, Isla. You will leave him because he no longer needs you. And you will not see him again because your job is finished and there is simply no reason for you to stay – "

"Mrs Bretton, I – "

"You will leave my son alone," her voice was nothing but calm. "Or you and your family will live to regret it. And by family, I believe it's extended to Mr Collins as well."

I went rigid. Her words were so vehement, so poisonous that my mind went completely blank and I was nothing but terrified.

"What?"

She smiled, but it was the kind of cold, cruel smile that sent shivers down my spine. "Rosemary Collins and Parker Collins lived with you and your father for about six years, I believe. It's far too long for Rosemary and your father to be called mere acquaintances, don't you think? And let's not forget the fact that Martin Collins was still very much alive during the time of their cohabitation."

I inhaled a shaky breath, trying my best to maintain my composure in front of her. "How did you – "

" – find out?" She let out a laugh. "We tend to do a background check on every single person we hire. And you, my dear, are proven to have had a very dubious background in the past. Seems like Rosemary kept you and your father her dirty little secret. And what will happen if this bit of news," her smile grew, "all slipped out?"

"Rosemary and my Dad have nothing to do with each other any more," I said, loathing myself for the way my voice trembled. "No one will think anything of it – " but I trailed off, eyes widening in horror when her hand reached for the telephone on the desk.

"Would you like to find out?" She asked lightly before narrowing her gaze on me. "Rosemary Collins no longer helms the company so she wouldn't have much to worry about. But Parker, on the other hand – "

"You will not hurt Parker," my voice was deadly, the kind of deadly I didn't even know I possessed. I found my fingers tightly fisted, digging painfully into my skin and I never hated anyone more than I hated Adelaide Bretton at the moment. "Stay away from him."

"Then stay away from my son," she replied evenly, satisfaction evident in her eyes as she relished in my defeat. Picking up her pen again, she glanced briefly at her wristwatch before nodding at me. "I'll give you fifteen minutes."

▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬

I had fifteen minutes to break my own heart.

But I knew it was going to be a painful, excruciating fifteen minutes the moment I entered Kaden's room, with Adelaide waiting impatiently outside. He was no longer sitting by the window; instead, he was speaking on the phone, clearly in the middle of another business call. His voice was clipped and professional, but when I closed the door behind me, he paused and turned around, the expression on his face hesitant.

"Hello, Kaden," I said carefully, a sense of déjà vu washing over me as I recalled that this was the exact way I'd greeted him on the very first meeting.

His lips tugged upwards. "I'll call you back later," he mumbled into the phone, before ending the call and heading towards me slowly. "Hey. I was wondering when you'd show up, because I've – "

"Listen," I began, watching him warily as he closed the distance between us step by step. I didn't meet him halfway this time. Instead, my feet felt completely rooted to the spot. "There's something we have to do."

"Anything," he promised quickly and I felt my heart tug at his completely sincerity. The previous time I'd asked him this, I followed it by asking him to slow dance. But this was no slow dance. It was nothing simple or sweet.

"We have to break up."

The expression on his face went rigid and he stopped. The silence stretched far and wide in between and I could almost hear the beating of my heart.

"What?" He asked at last, as if he couldn't quite believe his ears.

I crossed the room quickly to him, grasping him gently by the arm, but he remained tense beneath my touch. "Your mum is outside listening to this conversation. Just play along," I whispered before raising my voice and saying, in the clearest, calmest voice I could manage, "I'm so sorry. My parents wouldn't let me be with you."

But the look on his face didn't change. If anything, they morphed into confusion and the slightest bit of fear. "What're you trying to say?" He demanded, in a strangled sort of voice.

It hurt simply to look at him, so I averted my eyes and stared at the floor instead. "My parents think you're bad for me and they want me to break up with you. They've been asking me to do it ever since after the car accident. So please don't call me or - "

"Wait – "

" – text me. Just leave me alone, please. We need a clean break."

I turned to leave as quickly as I could, but he reached out at the last moment. His fingers wrapped around my arm in a vice-like grip.

"Wait, this isn't – " A sudden flicker of realisation dawned on his face and then there was nothing but a look of sheer horror on his face. "You're leaving, aren't you?"

He knew.

Why couldn't lies ever work on him?

"Kaden, just play along – " I pleaded, trying to struggle out of his grasp but he held me tighter.

"This isn't just a show, is it?"

I cast a swift, desperate glance at the door, hoping that Adelaide hadn't caught his last question. "At least lower your voice – "

"No, I won't fucking lower my voice!" He snapped in exasperation. "Does this have anything to do with my mother?"

It was so easy to say yes – yes, it has everything to do with your mother. But this was Adelaide Bretton, a woman who I could not afford to anger. Just one telephone call and she could wreck devastation on my family and especially on Parker.

If the press ever got wind of Rosemary having had an extra-marital affair, they'd deem her unworthy of holding any shares in the company. And Parker – he'd have to suffer the aftermath; the negative press, the suspicions if he was actually his father's child, the greedy businessmen who'd want to take over Rosemary's shares and, eventually, the company.

I could not fight fire with fire in a situation such as this.

It was the thought of Parker and my family that made my resolve strengthen. Slipping a calm mask over my panicked features, I steeled myself and said, calmly, "it has nothing to do with your mother. This is the endgame and it's time for me to go."

He faltered, but then his hesitation faded with a sheer determination that I hadn't seen before. "No, don't say that," he murmured, almost feverishly, slipping his other arm around my waist and pulling me firmly against him. It was all I could do to stop myself from reacting to his touch. "Don't leave. You can't leave me."

He sounded so broken that the tears began to fall freely now, leaking past the corners of my eyes and slipping down my face in despairing streaks. "Kaden – "

"You're supposed to love me," he sounded almost angry now. "You said so yourself; you said it the first time we met and confirmed it the second time. You can't say it and then take it back and expect me to just let you go."

"Well, I lied," I tossed back, forcing myself to sound nonchalant.

"No, you – "

"Did you really believe that?" I choked out a laugh – it sounded more like a sob. "From the first day we met, you knew I was a liar through and through. You should've known better than to believe anything I said."

He flinched. "No, that's not true," he shook his head fervently. "You love me. I know you do – "

"Kaden," I cut him off coldly. "I'm a poor girl who would do anything, and I do mean anything, for money. Even if it means playing with the heartstrings of a billionaire who's too stupid to believe that there are scumbag liars in this fucked-up world."

My words were harsh enough to make him freeze momentarily, and I took that opportunity to wrench my wrist out of his grasp and leave. But the second I turned to go, he immediately pulled me back, his hands reaching up to grasp my face. And then there was nothing but desperation, desperation that was almost crushing.

I knew that I had to break my own heart in fifteen minutes. It wasn't until I saw the lone tear streaking down his face when it occurred to me that, perhaps, I was breaking Kaden's too.

"I will give you anything in the world, I promise," he whispered harshly, holding me close until I could barely breathe. "Just love me and don't leave me. Never leave me."

And before I could even conjure up another cutting reply, he pressed his lips to mine, sealing his promise with a devastating kiss. It was unlike the first we shared – if that was careful and precise, then this was every form of pain and passion mingled in a mind-numbing, soul-searing kiss. His lips were insistent and probing on mine, cajoling me to open my mouth with every feverish nip of his lips.

I surrendered almost immediately, all semblances of rationality long flung out of the window, and his tongue swept past my teeth and into my mouth. He kissed me like it was the only thing he was put on this earth to do, like he was taught nothing before but this. But more than anything, he kissed me like he was giving me a hundred, thousand reasons to stay, and letting me know all of these reasons with his tongue and teeth and lips alone.

And I kissed him like it was my last goodbye, which wasn't too far from the truth. I responded to his kisses for they were my aphrodisiac, addictive like the most potent of drugs and drowning like the most expensive of wines. I let out something like a choked sob from the back of my throat and clutched desperately at his shirt, wishing for a way to let him know how I felt when I could no longer put it in words.

When I pulled back slightly, remembering that Adelaide was still waiting impatiently outside, he dragged me back, slanting his mouth over mine and effectively cutting off any protests I had. His hands gripped my waist tightly and his breath was ragged, unsteady against my cheeks.

"Stay, please," he begged against my lips and that was when I snapped out of the trance that I was in and pulled away firmly.

"Kaden – "

"You can't let me kiss you like that and claim not to have any feelings for me," he rushed out, reaching forward again and freckling feverish kisses on my forehead and down the bridge of my nose. "You can't kiss me back the way you just did and claim not to love me."

Wrenching myself out of his grasp, I inhaled deeply and forced myself to remain calm. "I guess this means I'm one hell of an actress."

"Just listen – "

"No," I cried and fell a step back when he tried to reach for me again. "I am done here! This whole thing has been one huge bloody lie. I have – " and then I paused because the next words were the most difficult thing I ever had to say.

I'm sorry, Kaden.

"I have never loved you. Not then, not now, not ever – "

But my words were abruptly cut off when the doors burst open and the usual security team I saw at the gates of the house swarmed in, two of them immediately restraining Kaden when he tried to reach for me.

"Don't leave me, please," he begged, struggling against them futilely, and then I saw him crying, honest-to-God, devastating kind of crying that made me feel as though I'd just ripped his heart out from his chest. Nothing had ever been more painful than this and I could only imagine how much more painful it was for him.

Instinctively, I took a step forward, my mind set on comforting him one last time but I was yanked back by one of the other guards.

"Your time's up," the guard muttered and began to drag me out of the room.

It was his sheer brute force that made me begin to panic, because this was not the way I wanted to say goodbye. Kaden and I couldn't be physically forced apart, but this was what was happening and I would be damned if I let that happen.

"No, wait," I cried, wrenching away from the guard and all the while hearing Kaden's pleas for me not to leave. "This isn't how I planned it – "

"Your time's up," he insisted and firmly pulled me out of the room, slamming the door shut behind. I could hear Kaden's yells from inside but just as I tried to run back in, the guard gripped me by the arm and pulled me down the stairs.

I was a sobbing mess by the time he dragged me outside. Through the blurry fog of my tears, I noticed a familiar-looking car parked in the driveway. A moment later, the door opened and Parker stepped out from the passenger seat, looking absolutely livid.

"What the fuck did you people do to her?" He growled, striding quickly towards us and ripping the guard's arm away from me.

The guard's face was impassive. "She wouldn't leave," he said simply, before turning on his heel and returning to the house.

A part of me desperately wanted to run back to Kaden, if only I could see if he was alright. But I knew that I'd be restrained once more, especially when I saw the four men standing guard by the front door. Instead, I turned to Parker and sobbed openly into his chest, shutting my eyes when he wrapped his arms around me and lifted me up.

He carried me into the car, settling into the backseat with me, and it was then that I noticed Nolan at the wheel. Nolan's usual smirk and glinting eyes were nowhere to be seen – he stared at us sombrely through the rearview mirror for a brief moment before stepping on the accelerator. The car careened out of the driveway, leaving a trail of dust in its wake.

Shutting my eyes tightly, I turned on my side away from Parker so that he wouldn't have to see me cry. I muffled my sobs by clasping my hands firmly over my mouth, biting down so hard on my tongue that I tasted blood.

I'm so sorry, Kaden, the words were a jumbled mess of thoughts in my head, repeating themselves in an infinite loop. I'm so sorry for the things I said. I'm so sorry that I had to go. And I am a horrible person but it was the only choice and I just wish you knew how much I love you, how much I always will.

Every fibre of my being seemed to ache and I knew precisely why. You could say goodbye in a million and one ways, but when the goodbye was forever, it didn't hurt less no matter which way you chose to say it.