siren,

please listen

before the water fills

my throat.

i could cry you an ocean,

and let my head go

under, but it still

wouldn't be enough

to make up for my emptiness.

you ask me to explain myself,

but i am just as lost in this

mess of a kid as you are.

you ask me to give you

something bigger.

a piece of me you can

hold onto.

a dream,

a memory,

a hand,

but i barely have a grasp on

myself anymore.

i am slipping,

going back to those days

of existing underwater.

everything moved slower then,

yet i still understood

nothing.

i tried to live,

i tried so hard to breathe,

but i was drowning.

i was such a beautiful swimmer,

but grace is not good enough

to survive

the harshness of an ocean.

i feel like i am sinking

deeper than last time, if

that is possible.

i am afraid i won't

ever feel the sun again.

i am afraid all this time,

this lovely time,

was just an air pocket

in an inescapable sea.

i am afraid to take too

deep of a breath in case

my lungs start filling

with water.

i am afraid to speak too loudly

in case it comes out

muffled by the sound of

a hurricane,

and you realize that

it's stupid to want something

so far gone.

we have an ocean

separating us.

maybe in a better life,

this water could

be used to grow you a flower.

but right now, i need

you to be just as afraid

as i am, and

leave me to float.

-V