Poker night. The boys arrive at nine, bringing multiple cases of beer, raucous laughter and the smell of marijuana and too much cologne. They set up fort in the den, and when Nakia arrives home from work she goes straight to her bedroom without stopping to say hello. Larry comments on this, and Caleb shrugs,

            “I dunno, she’s been bitchy like this ever since…you know.”

            Like my name is a dirty word. Or he’s afraid to say what happened out loud.

Larry frowns. “You think she’s cracking? You think she’ll tell someone what happened?”

I drift closer to listen, nervous. Larry’s face is closed and cold, and I suddenly wonder exactly what he’s capable of.

            “Don’t know,” Caleb mutters. “I don’t think she would. She’d be in just as much trouble as I would if anyone found out.”

            “You have to be sure,” Larry says, matter-of-factly. “You can’t have any loose ends.”

            Cold drops down my spine. What did that mean, “loose ends”?  It was ridiculous mobster movie dialogue, but still…the way Larry said it…. Would he kill her if he thought she’d rat them out?

            “She won’t be a loose end,” Caleb says. “She’ll get over it. She’s just never seen a dead body before, that’s all. It creeped her out.”

            “Yeah, alright.” Larry picks up the cards and shuffles them rapidly. “Okay boys, prepare to have your asses kicked.”

            I stand against the wall listening to them as they play poker, getting a little louder and a little rowdier with each beer. I’m bored, but if they say anything of importance I want to be there to hear it. My reward comes later, after the poker game is over and Larry is raking in the chips gleefully.

            “So, when’s the job happening? Are the parents still going away?”

            “Doesn’t seem likely anytime soon.” Caleb throws his cards down and picks up his beer. “They called Nakia the other day asking about her…”

             He’s back to refusing to use my name. What a coward. I guess if he reduces me to less than a person he won’t feel bad about what he did.

 One of the henchmen, Derrek, pulls a crushed box of cigarettes from his jeans and jams one in his mouth. “You got a lighter, Ben?”

He leans towards his friend, dragging the tip of his cigarette through the lighter’s orange flame. “So, what did the parents say? Do they think she ran away? Are they suspicious?”

            Caleb shrugs. “Dunno, Nakia told them that the last time we saw her was the party, and that her knapsack is gone.”

            “Good.” Larry sits forward. “It is gone, right?”

            Caleb shifts in his chair, looking uncomfortable. “Well, not yet. I figured I would use her credit card, you know. I’ll take the ferry to Vancouver this weekend and use it in a couple places to buy food and stuff. If they check her credit card and see that they’ll think she just ran away.”

            A slow smile spreads across Larry’s face. “Genius!” he crows, and Ben and Derrek laugh. “Just make sure you destroy it after that. And her other stuff too.”

            Caleb nods, snatching a cigarette when Derrek offers one. “Thanks, man. You know, there’s some weird shit going on. Before you guys came over, I was standing in the kitchen and all the beer bottles on the counter just fell off it and smashed on the floor.” His eyes search Larry’s face, as if he’s hoping his friend will have some kind of explanation.

            Larry laughs.“You cracking on us, man?”

            Caleb’s face turns dark. “Well what do you think it is, smartass? What’s your explanation?”

            “You ever kill anyone before?” Larry’s face gets serious.“Ever shot anyone before?”

            “No.” Caleb looks confused. “What’s that go to do with…”

            “PTSD, man.” 

            “What? What’s that?”

            “It just means your minds a little messed up because you’re traumatized.” Larry waves his hand, like it’s no big deal. “You’ll get over it in a bit.”

            “I don’t feel traumatized,” Caleb snaps. “I feel fine.” He looks defensive, like being traumatized after killing someone makes him weak.

            “Man, don’t worry about it. It’s totally normal. The first time I saw a dead person I was seeing dead people for a week.” Larry laughs. “You’ll be trippin’ for a while, and then you’ll be cool. You’ll have a few bad dreams, and then you’ll get used to it.”

            Caleb shrugs. He’s trying to disguise the fact that he’s relieved. Now he came blame PTSD for the bottles falling on the kitchen floor.

            “Anyways, make sure your chick is going to be cool,” Larry warns him. “We can’t have a potential rat. Also, make sure she gets her ass over there and starts buttering up the parents. We have to know when we can do the job.”

            “I’ve met her parents,” Caleb exhales, breathing a cloud of pungent smoke out over the table, “I give them two months tops before they forget they even have a daughter and go off on some cruise or something.”

            A rush of anger ignites the fire in my belly. I have to get away from them.  I turn and march out.

            Nakia finally emerges from her bedroom when Larry and his henchmen leave. She huddles on the couch, a blanket over her knees, watching the glow of the television with glassy eyes. I watch her for a few minutes, wondering what she’s thinking. What’s going through her head right now?

            Caleb comes in, a bottle of beer in one hand. It has to be his sixth at least. “What’s wrong with you?” Nakia slowly looks away from the TV, staring at him with empty eyes. “What do you think is wrong?”

He walks over and throws himself down on the couch. “I think you need to pull yourself together. We’re both a bit traumatized, but we’ll get over it. I need you though.”

To my disgust his voice has grown soft, and he faces Nakia and smiles, an expression I used to think was beautiful on him. His voice is a low purr, a wheedling tone that always used to work on me. “Come on, babe. You must know how much I need you right now. What happened was an accident. I feel terrible about it…”

Liar. I cross my arms over my chest and glower at him, concentrating on his stupid face and how much I hate it. How much damage I’d like to do to it.

You’re a terrible liar.

No, that wasn’t true, was it? He was a good liar. He’d fooled me without a problem. Then again, it wasn’t hard to lie to a desperate girl…

Caleb edges closer to Nakia, his voice low and calm.

“I need you to go over there and talk to her parents, find out what they’re thinking. I need to know if we’ll be able to do the job still, or if we’ll have to wait. I mean, Larry needs to know if we should just concentrate on something else. This has really screwed up all our plans.” He leans forward, placing his hand on her arm, and Nakia draws back, eyes wide.“I can’t believe you, Caleb! I don’t want anything to do with this job anymore!” Her voice cracks. “This wasn’t how it was supposed to go! I just wanted what she had! I wanted her to be the one that just stood by and watched while I had everything for once! I never wanted to kill her!”

No, I think angrily, you just cheated with my boyfriend and planned to rob me. Doesn’t that make you a saint…I clenched my teeth. If this hadn’t happened and I was still alive would she even feel guilty?

Caleb glares. “Neither did I! You think I shot her on purpose? It was an accident!”

Nakia stands up, her lip quivering. Her voice is low and furious. “And wrapping her body in a shower curtain and dumping her in the river – was that an accident, Caleb? Covering up the fact that you murdered her? Was that just a little mistake too?”

Caleb shoots to his feet, towering over her. His voice is starting to get louder and louder. “Don’t you get all self-righteous on me! You’re just as guilty as I am!”

Nakia’s face goes red, and she screams back at him. “You shot her!”

I stiffen as Caleb brings his hand back and slaps her across the face. The cracking sound of his hand on her cheek is surprisingly loud, and Nakia reels backwards with a shriek. Clutching her cheek she stares at Caleb, shocked. His face is cold, impassive. He isn’t in the least bothered by what he’s just done. After a second Nakia turns away from him, a look of resignation crosses her face, tears forming in her eyes.

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