I'd never tell no, I'd never say a word and oh it aches but it feels oddly good to hurt

everyone at school has been thinking something has been going on with me, especially in the one class i have with her, i don't mind though.

the school might be the last thing but homophobic. everyone is friendly with that stuff so coming out as bisexual to everyone i know was easy, except now realizing i have a crush on my best friend turns to me talking to every guy that tells me he likes me, it hurts me knowing i might never actually get to be with her, but if i still have her by my side that's all that matters.
she walks down the hall with a blank stare whenever the guy at the time who decides to say his feelings is walking with his arm around my shoulder.
it doesn't feel right to me, i may have liked guys before, but at that moment all i want to do is hold her hand.
i stare towards her, her three inches shorter than me being my advantage from her realizing i'm actually staring at her.
the guy who's name, let's say noah, turns my face with his hand to attempt to give me a kiss, he leans forward and i do too. accepting it knowing the other people around us will get mad if i didn't.

she seems uncomfortable third wheeling, i don't get why i had to do the boy thing, i didn't like any of them but instead tried to convince myself i did. that noah boy later "breaking my heart" a couple days after thinking i'd be extremely hurt.

instead i was happy that i can be around the girl i love with just us.