...

I'm screwed. This isn't how I planned this. This is not how I planned for dad to find out. I stare at him wide eyed, while his are menacingly narrowed, a deep frown on his face. He's disappointed. He's fuming.

"Did you just kiss that boy?" He asks again, his voice dangerously low. This isn't going to end well.

If me just bringing it up was enough to have my dad threaten to disown me, what now? What's going to happen if I finally do tell him I'm gay?

"I did." I say. Surprisingly my voice isn't shaky, despite the fear I'm in right now. He lifts his eyebrows in surprise, as if he was expecting me to deny it, when he obviously saw me. I decide I've done enough denying. It hasn't gotten me anywhere, only hurt my friendship with Louise, and hurt me, for not being honest with myself.

Mom walks into the living room at that moment, first looking cheery, but her face drops when she sees both of our expressions.

"Is everything okay?" She asks, looking at me. I don't respond, Dad does.

"No. Everything is not okay. I'm reading the newspaper, minding my business, when I hear a car pull up to our driveway. I look out and what do I see? our son, making out with a boy."

To my surprise and horror, Mom doesn't look surprised. At all. Instead, she throws a sympathetic look my way, before looking at the floor. Her lack of response only seems to anger Dad even more.

"Did you know about this, Ellen?" He asks, finally removing his glare from me and to Mom.

"I had my suspicions." She says carefully, looking at her husband.

"And you didn't tell me?"

"Why would I, Carter? Are you forgetting when you threatened to throw our children out that time Alex talked about it?"

Dad's eyes light with realization, as if he'd forgotten about that night. "I should've known," he shakes his head, clearly in disbelief. "I should've known. You were trying to come out that night, weren't you?"

"No, i-"

"I should've thrown you out then. Should've told you to pack your bags,"

"Carter!" Mom shouts, moving towards me. "He's staying here."

"Like hell he is! This isn't how I raised him. I raised my son to be a man. Not some faggot-"

"Dad-" I choke out, noticing the tears rolling down my cheeks.

"No." He points a finger to me. "You. Are not my son. I want you out."

"Alex, honey, go to your room," Mom says, touching my shoulder. I furiously wipe my tears and reach for my bag near the door.

"Chase me away, Dad. Disown me. It won't change how I am, or what I feel. I am gay. My only regret is that I didn't tell you sooner."

He glares at me then and shouts, "I want him out!" To Mom, who is now standing near him, telling him to sit down. I storm up the stairs into my room, slamming my door as hard as I can. I shouldn't be this hurt, this is what Dad said he would do. I should've expected this.

But still, it hurts to be rejected by your own family. As I sit on my bed my mind wanders back to Greene, how he rejected me, and fresh tears roll down my cheeks. Fuck.

I pull out my phone and call Louise.

"Hey, Alex, I've just-"

"I'm out."

A pause. "Out where?"

"Of the closet. I've picked a banana from the fruity basket. I've stepped into the light," my voice cracks as I speak, and I fist my hair, screwing my eyes shut.

"What- are you high?"

"No, Louise. I'm trying to tell you that I'm gay, okay?"

A pause. "Alex..." She says softly. This time I let myself cry into the phone, leaning into my pillows.

"I just told Dad. He's livid. Mom is trying to calm him down but for some reason she didn't look surprised. And Greene." My voice breaks again.

"What happened?" She prompts, and I tell her of how Greene practically told me to fuck off.

"Can I come over?"

"I...I don't think that's a good idea right now, with Dad in the state he's in." I can hear their muffled shouting downstairs, and no doubt it's about me.

"Alex... It'll be okay."

"Will it? Dad said he wants me out of the house. Where am I supposed to go, Louise? What the fuck am I supposed to do?"

"We'll figure it out. We'll convince him-"

"There's no convincing him. God, I feel so stupid. The one person I can out for just told me to never talk to him again, and my parents are trying to get rid of me, and I can't keep crying because he'll think I'm weak-"

"Hey. Don't say that, Alex. Can you come over here then?"

No, I cannot, with the way Dad is already mad at me. But I'm not going to sit in here and cry about it. What's done is done. I make my way downstairs with my backpack. Mom and dad are sitting on the couch, still arguing but not shouting. At least.

They both look up at me as I descend the stairs, holding my chin up high. "I'm headed to Louise's. I'm gonna spend the night."

I can tell Dad has something to say, but Mom puts a firm hand on his lap to shut him up, and turns to me. "Alright. But we're gonna sit down talk about this in the morning, Alex."

I nod and make sure not to look at Dad as I walk out the front door.

...

It takes me twenty minutes to walk to Louise's house, clutching at my backpack and hissing at the cold wind that blows past me. Louise swings open the door at the first knock, grabbing my arm and pulling me into a tight hug. It takes all I have not to break down again as we continue to hug, Louise running a hand in my hair.

"I'm so sorry," she whispers to me, before pulling me in. Her mom and dad, who've been like second parents to me since we met, stand up from the couch and give me sympathetic looks. I'm guessing Louise told them. Her mom walks over to me and pulls me into another tight hug, while her dad pats my back. "I wish we could give you the acceptance you need, Alex. Just know you're always, always welcome here."

At that, I lose it.

"Fuck, I'm sorry," I pull away to wipe my face, my cheeks reddening from the embarrassment I'm feeling. Funny how my own father disowned me, but this family, this family that I've only known for some years, is welcoming me with open arms.

"We'll be in my room." Louise grabs my hand and I follow her down the hallway into her room. She sets my bag on a desk on one side of the room.

"I'm so sorry, Alex." She says again, pulling me so I sit on her bed.

"Not your fault. I knew this was gonna happen."

"But I pressured you-"

"You were only trying to get me to realize what I already knew. Deep down, I already knew. I just- I was afraid." I lay down on her bed, staring at the neon stars painted on her ceiling.

"Did Greene...tell you?"

"No, he didn't. Told me it's to protect me-"

"It is to protect you. Trust me it's better if you don't know."

"What about you? You know and you're fine-"

"That's because my dad-" she cuts herself off, sighing. "My parents are not too different from Greene's, Alex. They're just as dangerous."

"They're in the same... business?"

She nods. "At this point I know you have some kind of idea, but, Alex trust me. Greene not telling you is for your own good. Him pushing you away is for your own good. If his dad found out about you he'd... He wouldn't be happy."

I think on this for a minute. I've run almost all the possibilities in my head about Greene's 'secret.'
What I know for sure is that they're criminals. And with Greene being Italian... A green light flashes around drug cartel. Or something close to it.

"So what's the point, now?" I ask. "This was all supposed to be for Greene. He was the only one I-" I sigh.

"Hey. I don't think this is the end of everything. Greene, he might be out of the picture for now-"

"Forever. He's out of the picture forever."

"You don't know that."

"He told me we should stop talking and act like we never met. Clearly he didn't want it as much as I thought he did."

"Now that's a lie. Greene wanted you as much as you wanted him."

"And how would you know that?"

"He told me." She simply says, shrugging her shoulders.

I sit up. "He told you? When?"

She rolls her eyes. "We were friends before you met him, Alex. Obviously he told me about it."

"What- what did he say?"

She scoots closer to me, resting her head on my shoulder. "That he liked you, but he didn't want to put you in danger by making his dad notice you. His dad would drag him away to...work. and he told me he missed you."

I think back to our calls, to when he told me himself that he missed me.

"Believe it or not, Alex, he cares about you. He has since whatever happened between you at the beach. Maybe even long before that."

I sigh and stretch, wiping at my tear stained face. Louise then walks me to the guest room her mom had set up for me. A few minutes after I get settled in, she slips back in, snuggling with me between the sheets. "My bed isn't as comfortable as this one," is her only excuse as she turns her head and goes to sleep. I laugh and close my eyes, but sleep doesn't come for another two hours.

I stare at the ceiling for a while, finally deciding to pull out my phone. Without realizing it, my finger taps on my chats with Greene and my eyes skim over the last messages from me, that were unanswered.

I curse and throw my phone into my bag, forcing myself to fall asleep to Louise's light snoring.

...