(Boi it sure was a while since I've done one of those! Well... let's just jump right into it, shall we?)
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*Deep thoughts with Dust.*
Killer: I wanna go to a fight but I don't know if I wanna go to knife fight or gun fight.
Dust: If you had a gun that shoots knives you could go to both.
Killer: Good point!
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Drunk Dust: Earth has a solid outside and liquid inside, so it's technically a ravioli.
Equally drunk Horror: Duuuuude. How are ya so smart?
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Dust in the middle of the night: Lego people live in houses made out of their flesh.
Blue: Shut up, I'm trying to sleep.
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Dust: Actors don't get famous for who they are but who they pretend to be.
Nightmare: Bu-
Nightmare: ...
Nightmare: You're actually right on that one.
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Dust: Humans don't use brain, the brain uses the human body.
Geno: I was having a good day-!
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Dust entering 5th plane of existence: When human dies, their skeleton begins to hatch.
Reaper: Right???
Geno: Don't fucking agree with him!
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Nightmare: Hey guess what? I have flaws. What are they?
Nightmare: I sing in the shower. Sometimes I spend to much time volunteering.
Nightmare: Occasionally I'll commit first degree murder.
Dream: Brother, please stop.
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Cross: I like people who refer to everything as an 'adventure'.
Cross: They'll ask you: "Do you wanna go on adventure?" and proceed go to McDonald's for ice cream at 2 AM.
Cross: It's just the type of chaos I vibe with the most.
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Red-riding-hood: Dude
Berry.blue: What?
Red-riding-hood: I got a dog!
Berry.blue: Nice! What's his name?
Red-riding-hood: Lunch
Berry.blue: ...
Berry.blue: ...why?
Red-riding-hood: So I can go "Hold on guys I'm gonna get lunch." And when I'll come back they'll be expecting a lunch bag or something.
Red-riding-hood: But it'll be a dog instead ๐คฃ
Berry.blue: ...
Berry.blue: Sometimes I wonder why we're best friends.
Red-riding-hood: You know you love me so shut the f up.
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Dream: Come on, you either go big or go home!
Passive: Oooh, I choose go home.
Dream: This... isn't suppose to be a choice.
Passive: Well you presented it as a choice and I chose go home.
Dust: You can't argue that logic.
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Killer: Once i was at a party and they asked me what my dad did for a living and said that he died when i was 12 and of course i hear the collective "Aaawww I'm so sorry"
Killer: And then i hear some guy whisper from the back "You're halfway to becoming batman"
Killer: AND THAT IS HOW I MET ONE OF MY BEST FRIENDS! MORAL OF THE STORY IS IF YOU USE BLACK HUMOUR I WILL LOVE YOU!
Cross: Noted.
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*Cat touches Cross' forehead with it's paw.*
Cross tearing up: Thank you.
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Nightmare: No problem!
*Killer walks in*
Nightmare: One problem!
Killer: True.
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*Nightmare carries cat out of the room for being bad.*
*Cat starts to purr.*
Nightmare: You're being punished. Please don't purr... I still love you.
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Dream: So how did you know Killer was the one?
Cross for some reason: He looked at me the way all women want to be looked at...
Dream: Awww.
Cross: With fear in his eyes.
Dream: .......
Nightmare: Awwww.
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*Drunk Horror points at Lust.*: This is MY boyfriend suckers!
Killer: That's your husband.
Horror: My husband? EVEN BETTER!
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Drunk Cross: You're the best husband ever!
Also drunk Nightmare: I wish I could marry you all over again.
Drunk Cross: *gasp*! Let's get divorced!
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Ink: Hey! What are you two doing today?
Blue: I'm going on a date.
Dream: Yeah me too.
Ink: With who?
Dream: ...........
*Blue gives Ink a 'Really?' look.*
Ink: ............
Ink: ...OHHHHH!
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(Teenagers~)
Blue: One time my parents were gone for the weekend so i took everything in the house and moved it five inches to the left.
Blue: It was subtle enough that it wasn't obvious but they felt like something was off when they got back and they kept bumping into the corners of tables and couches.
Blue: I am a cruel man.
Dust: No, you're someone to look up too.
Blue: Awwww.
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Nightmare: What are you doing?
*Error snuggling in Nightmare's arms*: Hiding.
Nightmare: ....Don't you mean hugging?
Error: Did I stutter?
Error: This is my safe place.
Error: Now put your arms around me.
Nightmare: *chuckle* Alright Glitchy.
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(Teenage skeletons being over dramatic.)
Dust: One of the houses on the end of my street is home to the members of a local irish folk band so some mornings I'll be walking out to my bus stop to a rollicking accordion and mandolin like I'm finally setting out to seek my fortune on the high seas or some days I'll come home to a weary aching lament that is so sweet and so yearning that I'll miss the drowned lover i never had.
Killer: I've literally never been more jealous.
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*Killer bursts into the room and slams the door shut clearly panicked.*
Outer: What did you do?
Killer: Nobody died!
Outer: WHAT KIND OF ANSWER IS THAT?!
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Colour: I'm cold.
Killer: Here, take my jacket.
Error: I'm cold too.
Nightmare: What? *taking off his jacket* I told you to bring more layers but of course you didn't listen and now, *piling scarfs on him* now look, I've got to make sure you don't FREEZE to death and *taking somebody else's hat* how long have you been cold you should've said something sooner.
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Dream: Which people would scare you the most if they teamed up?
Ink: Blue and Dust.
Ink: Thay're terrifying together.
Ink: I'm pretty sure they could get away with whatever they wanted. Even murder.
*Blue and Dust appearing out of nowhere*: What makes you think we didn't actually?
Ink: Jesus fucking Christ!
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Ink: Dust lost his sanity after countless of genocide routs.
*Dust sipping olive oil from a wine glass*: Bold of you to assume I ever had sanity.
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Blue: If we can't use you-know-who's name, I'm now gonna exclusively referring to him as 'Captain Snakebutt' and you can't change my mind.
Ink: I was going to refer to his as 'Nootnoot' or something but yours is way better!
Dream: Guys it's my brother you're talking about.
Ink: And what about it?
Dream: I- you know what never mind!
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Killer to the gang and Star Sanses: Why does all this weird shit keep happening to us?
Blue: I think we're the main characters.
*Blue get knocked down to the floor as the 4th wall punches him back.*
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*Arriving at some random AU.*
*Killer checks out the wanted posters.*
Outer: Are you a criminal?
Killer: Not here.
Dust: Pfffhahaha! That's the best answer to that question I've ever heard!
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Killer: How come it's 'You're what you eat.' Why can't it be 'You're what you read'? That would be so much better!
Killer: I don't know about you but I rather be a boy wizard than a piece of broccoli!
Nightmare: Pffffhaha Yer a broccoli Harry! Hahaha!
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*They are doing an escape room*
*Before them are four doors labelled 6, 7, 8 and 9*
Mysterious voice: Two of those doors are fake, one hides a monster and the last is safe, which one will you choose?
Dust: Well... 9 is obviously fake because seven ate nine.
*Door number 9 falls to the floor.*
Dust: ...and so is 6 because six seven ate.
*Door number 6 falls to the floor.*
Dust: The monster is probably behind the door number 7 since it keeps cannibalizing it's friends.
*Dust opens the door number 8, revealing it's safe.*
Nightmare: How???
Killer: Come on Nightmare! Even you can't argue with that logic!
Nightmare: I guess I can't. Let's get going.
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*In this Cross, Dust and Horror are siblings, because why not?!*
*Dust shouting* Mamma!
*Cross singing*: oooo000oooo0ooh!
Dust: Didn't mean to make you cry!
*Horror enters room singing*: If I'm not back this time again tomorrow!
Cross: Carry on! Carry on!
Dust: As if nothing really matters.
*Cross notices his husband looking awestruck.*
*Cross bursting out into giggles*: What?
Killer: I totally married into the right family!
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*Teens again*
Horror: Hey so...
Horror: I made you a thousand cookies.
Horror: Also I may have stolen the sugar from that guy who was bullying you.
Horror: So like, eat them quick 'cause I think we're technically on the run right now?
Lust: You're adorable and absolutely sweet.~ I'm so happy to be your boyfriend.
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Dust: Okay so when I tell a straight person that I'm gay they're usually like: 'I don't care as long as you don't hit on me.'
Dust: But when I'll say 'Don't worry about that, you're not my type anyway.' they'll suddenly get offended.
Killer: The accuracy of this is killing me.
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Lusty_boi: Hello my darling guess who just got
Lusty_boi: โก โข ยฐ : * โก INJURED * : โข ยฐ โก * : โข ยฐ
Ill_eat_your_ankles: Obviously I hope you're okay but I also want you to know that this was the most in character text you've ever send to me
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*Nightmare and Error are sitting in Nightmare's room. Nightmare is reading a book and Error is knitting something.*
*Killer bursts into the room.*
Killer: You two are having sex!?
Nightmare: Really? Error why didn't you tell me? I would have put my book down.
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*Cross and Passive laying on the floor at least 5 cats laying on top of each of them*
Passive: This is fucking heaven.
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(Hope you enjoyed this madness. Bye~)