~•♡•~

leo steered festus towards the sunset, and gave festus a pat on the back. then, like any good driver, he completely turned around and sat so he could face me.

he grimaced, a sure sign i didn't look very good. i was leaned against piper as she hastily tried to take off my jacket. now, i would do anything for a boread to freeze me. this is agony.

"hooooot." i groaned.

"thanks." leo grinned.

i sat up. "i'm- not..."

leo yanked off the jacket as my chest convulsed. leo's eyes widened as piper pulled my hair back, and she steered me to the edge of festus. leo dodged just as an explosive puke emerged from my mouth, probably splattering on some poor civilian below us.

i groaned as i finished. piper patted my back as leo handed me a canteen of water, which would need to be cleaned pretty soon because of this.

i chugged half down, and probably upon bad judgement, i dumped the rest on me. i heaved in deep breaths before looking up at my friends.

"well?" my voice was very hoarse.

"leo's jacket protected you a bit." jason assessed. "but..."

i looked down. naturally, my jeans and shirt had holes all over them, including some of the less convenient spots. to save my embarassment, jason, leo, and piper said nothing as i crossed my arms over my chest and used the old army jacket over my thighs.

"great." i muttered. "does my face look as bad as it feels?"

"well, you are several shades redder and swollen." leo said. "but, i don't see any blood or blisters."

"rad." i burped again and leo flinched as if worried i might hurl on him. "so, now i just have to feel bad about trying to kill you two?"

leo looked down and jason cleared his throat.

"it wasn't just you." leo muttered as he conveniently turned around again. "thanks for saving us back there, beauty queen. and space girl,"

i felt good knowing fun leo was back.

"nice to know you have a handy little trick."

i huffed. "probably would have been more helpful if i hadn't been-"

"don't worry about it." piper said as i began to lean forward on my own. "you helped me just as much as i helped you. i know you didn't mean it."

but i did. at least a little. it's true- i'm always talked about behind my back. leo and jason just did it in the stupid sewer. i bit my lip as i chose not to mention that.

"we're going to have to put down soon." leo warned as piper draped my cloak back over me. "couple more hours, maybe, to make sure medea's not following us. i don't think festus can fly much longer than that."

"i can't either." i admitted. "i- i'm exhausted. getting paralyzed, charmspoken, and burnt in like, thirty minutes really takes it out of you."

"so does your little emotion thing." leo said. "by the way, what is it with that?"

"the moon." piper blurted. i yawned as my posture slumped.

"eh?"

"the moon is seen as emotions." piper explained. "it always has been, in all sorts of cultures. it can also represent femininity, and constant change, which explains why we have three lunar goddesses."

"femininity?" i said as i slumped onto leo's back as he had done to mine. "does that mean menstrual cycles or..."

jason cleared his throat uncomfortable and leo snorted.

"mm, i dunno." piper admitted. "i know that artemis is a goddess of childbirth, but she's also a maiden goddess. annabeth mentioned that her hunters can receive immortality if they remain maidens forever."

"oh, so girl power, basically?"

"yeah. girl power." piper smiled.

"y'know, that sounds fun and all," i admitted. "but being a hunter sounds like a whole lotta work. and i'm a whole lotta lazy."

piper snorted. "anyways, i'm sure coach hedge wants to get out of his canary cage."

"and i want taquitos." i nodded. "so, flame boy, where are we going?"

"the bay area." leo guessed. "didn't medea say something about oakland?"

piper remained silent for so long. i raised an eyebrow and leo turned to look back at her, both of us confused.

"piper's dad." jason finally said for her. "look, medea said you would both die in the bay area. and besides... even if we went there, the bay area is huge! first, we need to find aeolus and drop of these storm spirits. boreas said aeolus is the only one who could tell us exactly where to go."

leo grunted as he turned back around. "so how do we find aeolus?"

"you mean you don't see it?" leo and i looked to where jason was pointing, but i couldn't see anything except clouds and a few towns.

"what?" leo asked.

"that... whatever it is. in the air."

"real helpful, buddy." i grumbled.

"could you be a little more specific on the 'whatever-it-is' part?" leo asked.

"like a vapor trail." jason said. "except it's glowing. really faint, but it's definitely there. we've been following it since chicago, so i figured you saw it."

"i saw a whole lotta pain when we left chicago, jason." i replied.

"maybe festus can sense it." leo shrugged. "you think aeolus made it?"

"is it wispy?" i asked.

"yeah..." jason trailed.

"does it look godly?"

"sorta?"

"then he probably made it." i asserted.

"you could totally be annabeth's sister." leo sarcastically said.

"about as much as you could be a son of a war god. shut up, and drive." i snapped.

"i see you've recovered quickly." leo nodded. "good to know. how soon can i start hitting on you again?"

"how about never."

"i think," jason said as he cut off our quarrel. "aeolus knows we've got prisoners for him. he's telling us where to fly."

"or it's another trap." piper gulped. i turned back to her. not only did her tone sound worried, but her emotions were off the charts. guilt, fear, anxiety- it was all there.

"pipes, you all right?" leo asked.

"don't call me that."

"fine, okay. you don't like any of the names i make up for you." leo huffed.

"neither do i-"

"shut up, mamas." leo snapped. "but piper, if your dad's in trouble and we can help-"

"you can't." she felt so miserable, my own heart began rising in my chest. "look, i'm tired. if you don't mind..."

she leaned back against jason and closes her eyes. there was a thick, heavy silence over the last of us before i finally spoke up.

"leo, you're exhausted."

"what? no i-"

"shush." i huffed. "you're as tired as i am."

leo gritted his teeth, staying in place on the dragon.

"catch a few z's, man." jason said. "both of you. it's cool. hand me the reins."

"nah, i'm okay-"

"leo, you're not a machine." jason said. i yawned and nodded against leo's warm back.

"he's right. just go to sleep."

"all right... maybe just..."

leo slumped forward, already asleep. i smiled to myself, and it took only a few seconds before i, too, fell asleep.

~•♡•~

i suppose it is daytime in the ancient lands. instead of being near mother dearest, i found myself somewhere hot, muggy, and reeking of smoke. i coughed as i jumped away from a nearby furnace, already having dealt with enough heat for one day.

i walked around, careful to avoid the various machine, scrap metal, and tools laying around. this place seemed similar to the forge at camp half-blood, but i very soon realized i was not there.

in front of me was a massive, burly man.

i screamed. he screamed. we both jumped back, each of us hitting something behind us. a wrench dug into my side, and he whacked his head on something overhead. the radio he was holding fell, and the dream snapped into full color, when before it was lacking saturation.

"who are you?!" i groaned as i threw the wrench to the floor.

"i'm leo! what are you doing-"

i screamed again as my latino friend suddenly spawned next to me. he screamed as my fist collided with his nose, which sent him groaning a nasally "NOT COOL!" as he stumbled onto the brick wall.

"leo?!"

"leo?" the big man from before grunted.

"BRO!" leo looked at me angrily and i put my hands on my knees to ease my panic.

"this isn't right..."

leo and i looked at the big man again, and we both gave a more subdued jump.

the man was large, as stated before. he was over six feet tall, with arms as thick as tree branches and a torso that could easily pass for a door. his jaw was square, his face covered in welts and bruises, so red i would've mistaken it for strawberry jam. his peppery beard was smoking and he used his massive, calloused hands to put it out before it fully caught flame.

"holy mother!" leo gasped. i smacked his chest and he glared at me.

"don't be rude." i hissed.

"humph." the man said. "holy father, boy. i should think you know the difference."

i went rigid as leo blinked incredulously.

"hephaestus?" he gasped.

oh boy. leo's mood went from somewhat annoyed yet pleased to see me to 100%, totally annoyed with the lumpy man before me.

"now you show up?" he demanded. "after fifteen years? great parenting, fur face."

i snorted, but quickly covered my mouth. i didn't want a fire god burning me to a crisp.

"where do you get off sticking your ugly nose in my dream- not even my dream! why did you drag whats-her-face into this?!"

i chose not to correct leo. clearly, he was annoyed to the point of not remembering my name in the moment, but i kind of found it funny. which may be bad, because this was leo's first encounter with his dead-beat dad, but leo is kind of a person that i can always find comedy/comfort in.

the god raised an eyebrow. a little spark caught fire in his hair, and then, he threw his head back and laughed so loudly, tools rattled.

"you sound just like your mother. i miss esperanza."

"oh... no, i shouldn't be here." i mumbled as i began walking away. leo yanked me back bt my shirt, but he just stared at his father.

"she's been dead seven years." he trembled. "not that you'd care."

"but i do care, boy." hephaestus muttered. he wasn't lying, but leo didn't know that.

"uh-huh. which is why i never saw you before today."

hephaestus made an awkward gruntish noise, but it was mostly because he was uncomfortable. clearly, he was terrible at socialization, as he stood awkwardly. then, he did what leo always does- he pulled something metal out of his pocket, and began playing with it.

"i'm not good with children." he admitted. "or people. well, any organic life forms, really. i thought about speaking to you at yours mom's funeral. then again when you were in fifth grade... that science project you made, steam-powered chicken clucker. very impressive."

i gaped. i totally wanted a steam-powered chicken clucker! leo was building THAT in fifth grade? when i was in fifth grade, i got suspended for making a bomb threat to cici richards! (to be fair, she kept stealing my goddamn art supplies. and she wasn't even a good artist!)

"you saw that?"

hephaestus pointed to the nearest worktable. on it sat a bronze mirror showing a hazy image of leo asleep on festus's back, and me asleep on his.

"is that me?" leo asked.

"what's it look like, einstein?" i snorted.

"it looks like i finally wooed you, is what it looks like." leo grinned as he pointed to my sleeping form slumped against his.

"ah yes, because the wooed often punch their wooers in the face."

"no, that's not- doesn't count. this is a dream." leo said as he furiously waved his hands. i rolled my eyes and looked back at the god.

hephaestus scratched his beard. "now you've confused me. but yes- it's you. i'm always keeping an eye on you, leo. but talking to you is, um... different."

the god spared me a glance and i managed an awkward wave.

"perhaps this would be easier without your girlfriend here."

leo grinned and pointed at his dad before turning to me. "I TOTALLY WOOED YOU!"

"SHUT UP, VALDEZ!" i grabbed a random bolt from the table, and leo dodged just before i threw it.

"pay attention to your daddy." i muttered as i looked away. both leo and hephaestus looked uncomfortable with that.

"you're scared." leo finally deduced. we praise athena for giving that boy enough braincells to figure that out.

"grommets and gears!" an interesting choice of words. "of course not!" hephaestus yelled.

"yeah, you're scared." leo's anger seeped away. he seemed to come to a sense of understanding, which made me tilt my head.

i suppose leo and his father were alike in that way. as much as leo acted cocky and sociable, he was insecure, and typically chose to hide in a workshop than try to deal with living, breathing things. in fact, i think the most sociable he's ever been was with me, piper, and jason. come to think of it, i don't think he had a single other friend at the wilderness school.

i felt bad all of a sudden.

"so," leo grumbled and shoved his hands in his pockets. "you keep track of all your kids? you got like, twelve back at camp. how'd you even- never mind. i don't want to know."

i didn't feel bad anymore. i tried desperately to hide my smile as hephaestus felt an odd sense of embarassment.

"gods are different from mortals, boy. we can exist in many..." the god got quieter as my dream dissolved. i felt a sense of panic as i looked around the darkness.

i so badly wished to go back to leo and his dad. i liked them. already, i felt more connected to the god of the forge than i did to my own mother, who stood before me.

"oh. it's you." i huffed.

selene looked somewhat sad, and i felt a small twinge of fear as a studied her, but the fear was only my own.

"i can't-"

"feel my emotions?" selene asked. i nodded slowly as i stared at the titan goddess. "it doesn't work on me, my dear."

"so i still have it?"

"yes."

"TAKE IT AWAY!" i complained as i clawed at my face. selene managed a small laugh, which prompted me to look at her in disbelief.

she sat on a rock that kind of appeared out of nowhere. even sitting, she was almost taller than me. her presence was intimidating, in a serene and beautiful kind of way.

"you're much like your father." selene said. i frowned and looked away from her.

"yeah. i get that a lot. i suppose you'll whack me like grandma does?"

selene sighed heavily. she stretched her pale, luminous hands out, and cupped my cheek.

"you've seen hephaestus." she said. "and you saw that leo came to understand why his father couldn't interact with him?"

"that's different." i huffed. selene tilted her head.

"how so?"

"he's..." i gulped. "leo is a lot nicer than i ever will be. and he and his dad seem to have a lot more in common than you and i do."

selene hummed and pulled her hand away. she folded her hands over her lap and crossed her legs as she looked at me.

"i think we are more alike than you think. but i don't think you want to admit that." selene said to me. i remained silent for a while, my eyes drifting down to my shoes.

"can i just ask one question?" i asked.

"yes."

"do i have.... do i have any siblings?" i asked her. "i mean- piper's got like, thirty. jason has his sister, thalia. leo has about a dozen... do i have any?"

selene stared at me solemnly, which was enough of an answer for me. i chewed the inside of my lip as it dawned on me that i was utterly, totally alone.

"blood is not family." selene said to me. "family is what makes you feel at home. they bring you comfort, happiness, pain and sorrow. they make you what you are."

i met her gaze. her face seemed kinder this time.

"the moon is always changing." selene explained. "sometimes, you see a full, bright orb in the sky. sometimes, it is utterly dark. other times it is a sliver."

i didn't expect for the moon to tell me about how much it changes.

"other times, mortals think it is gone." selene sighed. "when really, it is full and bright, and right before them. a veil may cover it, but that does not mean it is gone."

i stared.

"sometimes, things are darker than they seem." selene told me. "but if you learn how to wait for that veil to be lifted, the light seeps in. and, much like me you are everchanging, daughter."

i flinched.

"the moon is incomplete without the stars." selene said. "find your stars, lift the veil, embrace your changes. until next time... daughter..."

~•♡•~

for the third time in three days, i was free falling.

this time, i didn't even scream. i didn't flail. i just fell, bracing myself because my back would land first. jason, piper, and leo were still on festus, who's ruby eyes were dim. they were spiralling down a few feet away from me. piper and jason were screaming.

jason's was more of "OH MY GODS, OH MY GODS, AAAAAAAAAHHHH!" and piper's was, "ARUNAAAAAAA! AAAAAAAAHH!"

"NOT AGAIN! YOU CAN'T FALL AGAIN!" leo screamed as he barely hung on. leo managed to open a panel on festus's back, and he began digging around at the wires.

"somebody get aruna!" he commanded.

"just leave me alone." i grumbled. i guess nobody heard me over the screaming.

"jason! take piper and fly out of here! get aruna!"

"what?!"

"we need to lighten the load! i might be able to reboot festus, but he's carrying too much weight!" leo called out. he finally turned to me.

"ARUNA, WHY AREN'T YOU DOING ANYTHING?!"

"I'VE GIVEN UP ALL MY FUCKS, LEO! LEAVE ME BE!"

jason and piper unbuckled their harnesses. jason grabbed piper, and they shot into the air. leo began talking to festus as jason and piper neared me.

"IF YOU BREAK MY ANKLE AGAIN-"

piper got me around my waist, pulling me into a hug. jason was behind her, desperately trying to keep us afloat.

we were rapidly approaching the ground below us. i saw leo barely manage to get festus going, a triumphant smile on his face.

this was when my aloofness melted away, and i began panicking.

"leo!" i looked at piper.

"i gotta get him!"

"HUH?!"

i reached my hand out past jason's head, bathing my hand in moonlight. i willed piper to stay put as i dissipated into particles, and reformed right behind leo.

"aruna, no!"

"you won't make it!" i insisted. spotlights kicked on, blinding both of us. i gasped as i heard a sound like tracer fire, and in an instant, i threw myself over leo and moon traveled us away.

i misaimed. why? because i could not see where i aimed. leo screamed, trying to flail but failing as my arms were held to tightly around him, his arms couldn't break free. we rolled aside, breakimg my grip. i heard an explosion and something liquidy and ripe- grease- splattered onto me while a cold, grainy liquid- mud- coated my body.

leo groaned as he sat up. he spat out a wad of frozen grass as piper and jason ran over to us, looming over us worriedly.

snow was mixed in with the grease and mud, making leo and i look ridiculous. however, this was not funny for two reasons. one; i had now had my third experience with falling out of the sky. two; i was freezing.

"where-"

"lie still." piper shushed leo.

i retched. "i need to-"

this time, nobody held my hair back. for the second time today, i threw up violently into the snow. i hadn't eaten anything since our sewer meal, which meant my system was empty of throw-upable contents, right?

wrong. i threw up straight stomach acid, which managed the scorch my throat.

"where's festus?" leo asked. i rolled the other way, landing on my butt as i took deep breaths. leo held his head, and if it hurt as bad as mine did, he wouldn't be feeling very good for a while.

"runa? you okay?" piper asked me.

"yeah." i croaked. oh, it really had scorched my throat. "peachy."

"really? you don't look so-"

"leo? how's leo?" i flopped onto my back, closing my eyes. for whatever reason, piper was too bright to look at right now, which is funny because jason is the white one.

"no!" i heard a broken sob, followed by crunching snow as leo ran towards the burning smells. i couldn't bring myself to look. not because of pain, but because if i saw leo crying over festus- who'd i come to love- i really might not be okay.

"you can't go." leo pleaded, his voice rocky and broken through his tears. "you're the best thing i ever fixed."

i am the seldom type to cry. i simply tuned everyone and everything out until i felt warm, calloused hands on my forehead.

"d-dad?"

"do i look like a dad?! i'm fifteen!"

i opened my eyes, and i immediately felt my night vision in the works. leo's hand pulled away as his head was above mine, tilted to the side.

"why- where-" i tried to sit up, but leo put my head back down.

on his lap.

oh no. i very much wanted to be falling through the sky again.

"here." leo tilted a small cup of nectar into my mouth, which i gladly accepted. instantly, i felt refreshed, and this time, leo helped me sit up.

"i passed out?"

"not too long." i heard piper say as i sat normally on the couch. "we just got in here. jason carried you but leo got all whiny and-"

"ah-ah-ah-ah-ah!" leo wagged a finger at piper. i fear i blushed while piper chuckled.

i chose to survey my surroundings. from what i could tell, everything was gold. the velvet curtains on the ten-feet tall windows, the table before me, the statues. gold.

i chose not to mention this.

"we were just getting out the rations."

jason prodded a cold bag of food at my chest. i thanked him quietly, and slowly began to eat as to ease my stomach back to being normal. my throat still burned a little, but the nectar i'd sipped made it feel that much better.

i surprisingly felt okay with the large canary cages holding hedge and the storm spirits being in the room. it made me feel grounded. it kept me in place of the mission at hand.

the food in question was terrible. i think it was supposed to be some sort of dehydrated fruit or whatever, which made it feel like i was eating a lizard. the taste was less than lacking, and i found myself wishing for chef leo's tacos once more.

after we ate in an exhausted silence, leo set to work on the cage for coach hedge. jason made sure to maintain his distance in case coach hedge tried to murder us.

"get some sleep, jason." leo said after a while. "it's your turn."

jason breathed deeply. "leo, runa, i'm sorry about all that stuff i said back in chicago. that wasn't me. you're not annoying, and you do take things seriously- especially your work. and runa, i don't think you play victim at all."

i busied myself by shaping my cloak into a few different forms. leo lowered his screwdriver, and shook his head at the ceiling.

"i try very hard to be annoying." leo said. "don't insult my ability to annoy. and how am i supposed to resent you if you go apologizing? i'm a lowly mechanic. you're like, prince of the sky, son of the lord of the universe. i'm supposed to resent you."

"lord of the universe?" jason asked. he looked at me and we snickered.

"sure, you're all- bam! lightning man. and, 'watch me fly. i am the eagle that soars-"

i cut him off with a laugh. a real, genuine laugh as leo deepened his voice dramatically and imitated jason. my laughter got jason and leo to laugh too, and we quieted down after a bit.

"i apologize for apologizing." jason said.

"thank you." leo went back to work. i physically felt the tension ebb away, leaving just three teenagers.

"go to sleep, grace." i said to the blonde. "leo's gonna be here a while. and you gotta sleep."

"yeah, then i still gotta figure out how to make the winds a smaller cell, 'cause i am not lugging that thing all the way to california."

i frowned. "where even are we?"

"nebraska." jason answered.

"goddammit, why do i get all the stupid states for my first quest?" i muttered. jason smiled a bit as he made his way over to a couch.

"you did fix festus, y'know." jason said. i suppose this was a topic mentioned when i was still blacked out. "you gave him a purpose again. i think this quest was the high point of his life."

jason looked tense, but leo wasn't mad. just grieving, as we all were.

"i hope. now, sleep, man. i want some time without you organic life forms."

jason looked confused but i just smiled. i began moving further away from leo, as he said 'organic life forms', which i suppose included me. jason began snoring, which was when leo said,

"not you, space girl."

piper curled up on the couch. i covered her with a spare (golden) blanket i found, and then went to sit next to leo.

he looked at me, in eyebrows knit not in anger, but confusion.

"did you... choose to sit with me?" he blurted.

i nodded, masking the alarm i felt that this had disturbed leo so much. he looked at me weirdly and i quickly looked back to the lock.

"did you get a concussion?"

"do i have to have brain damage to sit next to you?" i retorted.

"well... no. but, it's out of the usual."

"what's the usual?" i tilted my head as leo went back to work. "i sit behind you all the time on festus-"

"yeah, like you'll seperate jason and piper." leo muttered spitefully. i chose not to press that topic.

"i sat next to you on the bus-"

"actually, i sat next to you." leo corrected as he furiously worked at the lock.

"do you take me for a heartless monster?" i scoffed. leo managed a small smile as he shook his head.

"no. but, usually, when there's more of a choice, you opt to maintain a social-recluse distance of at least ten feet."

he wasn't wrong, so i guess i couldn't be mad. instead, i shrugged, not caring to argue with him.

"so, what changed?"

i huffed. for someone who can read emotions and lets her emotions dictate her actions over logic, i am not very good at expressing them.

leo seemed to understand that. he wasn't mad at all when i began working in my head, carefully constructing my next few sentences. much like me, he had some... hangups when it came to verbal communication. he was better at working with machines. i was bad at most things.

"well..." i was still choking on my words. leo just went on messing with the cage lock as he waited for me to finish.

"i think... i think i'm closer to you than anyone else." i explained. leo froze for a few seconds before he went on acting normal.

"piper and i are pretty close, but, i guess it's not the same." i huffed. "i have a lot of issues getting along with people, and while she's super nice and stuff, she's not very much like me."

"so, we're similar?"

"yeah." i nodded. "y'know... piper was considered a klepto in court, and she forced herself outside the circles and cliques."

"we didn't." leo finished. i nodded solemnly.

"i've never fit in." i shrugged. "nobody's ever really liked me. so, it's hard for me to fully get along with pipes because she chooses to be an outcast. i mean, i don't exactly go out of my way to join the hype, but usually, if i do try..."

"you get those looks." leo huffed. "they kinda shrug you off, talk over you, never really invite you anywhere."

"exactly." i sighed. i pulled my legs up to my chest, and rested my head on my knees. "so, now-"

"we don't even try."

i looked sadly at leo, and he at me. we reached a quiet sort of understanding. the understanding that neither of us would really fit in. ever. we never have, and never will.

for the first time, i felt like maybe, that was okay. because i am not alone.

in the past, i'd only ever mentioned these feelings to a therapist. i was given antidepressants, and just stopped feeling altogether.

i used to think that was better than feeling the hurt, the pain of knowing nobody likes you- not even your own blood.

but blood doesn't mean family.

so i didn't stop leo when he hugged me. it took me a few seconds to register, but in the end, i wrapped my arms around him as he hid his face in my shoulder. it was exactly what i needed to remind me how much i needed to feel, because, without hurt and pain, i wouldn't be able to feel the sheer warmth of basic human kindness, of finally learning what it was like to be accepted.

part of me, however, was panicking. i could feel myself making my way to a very, very steep slope. one wrong move, and i would fall entirely.

but i was already beginning to trip. when leo pulled away, i couldn't help wanting more.

~•♡•~

happy 2023!

may yall's bitches be plenty (and to my friends in arms, we shall not indulge in romance), and your beds be warm. this will be our year, yall.

i hope you're enjoying my story. im not a great writer and ik that, plz dont be rude. but i DO have another 30+ drafted chapters up and ready to be published so SIT TIGHT.

thanks to the like, two people reading this. i rly appreciate it.