Sharp knocking at the door wakes me up. I sit on the cot and rub my eyes. "Open the door", Maa says from beside me. I nod and pull a dupatta to cover my head while moving to the door.

"Who is it?" I inquire before opening.
"Seher", comes the reply.

I open the door and welcome her inside.

"Assalamualaikum warahmathullahi wabarakatuh", she says.
"Walaikumassalam warahmathullahi wabarakatuh", I reply sleepily.
"It's almost noon child and you are still sleeping?"
"If only she rested well during the night", Maa comments from her cot.
"Why? Aren't you sleeping well at night? Do you want Hakeem Hamid to make a seeping draught for you?" asks Seher Khala.
"No, I am perfectly alright. I was doing some work last night that is why I couldn't sleep. Not because I am having trouble sleeping", I say quickly. I pull a chair for her beside Maa's cot. "Take a seat Seher Khala".

"You sent a word through Jamal that you needed more herbs. It was only yesterday that you took a new batch from me. What did you do with them?"
Jamal was her son.
"I had to use them on someone else Khala"
"My daughter never gets tired of helping people. She will give up her life to save another's. I worry for her Seher. If she continues like this she will forget herself amidst the people who seek her help. Her own personality will be lost to be replaced by their thoughts. She doesn't live her life for herself, not a single moment. How I wish to see my daughter live her life for herself", a tear rolls down her cheek. I simply hate to see her cry.

"Maa don't, please don't", I say wiping away her tears. Seher Khala runs her hand over her forehead while I get a glass of water. I help her drink.

"I will freshen up and get warm water to give Maa a sponge bath. Please keep her company till I return". She nods and I move to the back door.

"Don't worry about her Haleema. She is a responsible girl. She knows how to look after herself", I hear Seher Khala say.
"I know that Seher. In fact I am very proud of her. I didn't mind her out of the normal ways when her father was alive. Now that he isn't here to look out for her I want her to become the same as every other girl, get married and settle down. No matter what everyone says I know I don't have long to live. I don't want to leave her alone in this selfish world. Sometimes I fear even she will be taken away from me like her father". Her tears are back. Standing by the door hidden in the curtain I can't help as my tears flow as well. My heart squeezes with pain.

Now I understood my Maa's pains. She wanted me to live my life and enjoy it on front of her eyes. She despaired over the fact that I had no one to shower the love of a father over me while she herself was bed ridden. The love of a mother had blinded her. She could see no one but me. Her life was made of no one but me. She no longer cared if I worked to save the kingdom. She cared for nothing except give me every blessing I had been deprived of. She was filled with guilt. The guilt of not having given me a better quality of life.

"Relax Haleema. Unfounded fears will make your life more miserable. Why will anyone take away your daughter from you? She is all yours and she is right here. If she likes to help people then let her. There is nothing wrong with that. In fact it's an amazing quality to have. You have a selfless daughter in this selfish world. Allah loves the people who give and blesses them with the best. Rest assured that your daughter will also be blessed with the best".

Thankfully Maa has stopped crying. A heavy feeling of sadness settles on my heart. On one side is my mission which I cannot give up. On the other hand is my mother who fears for me and wants me to settle down. I miss Abbuji. I can't differentiate between my tears and the water as I take bath. O Allah! Guide me please. Make ways for me, I pray as I dress myself. I fill a basin with warm water and take a sponge.

"If you so desperately want her to get married then I have a suggestion", I hear Seher Khala say as I am about to enter and I stop immediately.
"Remember Zain?"
"Yes. Sumaiya's son", says Maa.
"He is a fine young man now. He has taken over his father's trade of carpets and shawls. Why don't you consider him?
"I am more than ready Seher but she won't agree"
"Then let's leave it to the guy to win her over and convince her for the wedding".
I can hear my heart thudding so loudly that I fear it has shifted it's place between my ears. Zain! Didn't I have enough to handle already?

Maa laughs. It's nice to hear that tinkle. That sound works like a charm on me.
"You are suggesting that we should let Zain woo her?"
"Why not?", asks Seher Khala.
"Why will he do it Seher?"
"Why will he not do it Haleema? Just wait till he hears she is pretty, firm, strong headed, educated and responsible. It's like placing Shahi tukda (a sweetmeat) in front of him and asking him not to eat it".
"I still have my doubts Seher. It's not easy to impress her. I know my daughter in and out while you have just seen what she shows you. Only an extremely tough man will win that challenge. Many will give up before they start, let's hope Zain is not among them"
"Just leave this to me. I will handle this"

I make a loud noise at the door warning them I am back. I had heard enough. I enter like I know nothing. The mood in the room has improved tremendously. It is nice to see the smiling faces. Well, if this is what I had to do to see my mother happy then I didn't mind handling even 10 Zains. I will try to tolerate him till I am done with my mission. Anyway I am sure he will leave me before I did. I could be a total disaster as easily as I could be the most charming person. And who wants a disaster for a wife? I dip the sponge in water and carefully clean Maa.

"Aren't you wondering why I came to deliver the herbs myself?" asks Seher Khala.
"Because you wanted to meet Maa", I say.
"Yes I wanted to meet her for a very special reason!", she says in an excited voice.
"And what is that?"
"Remember I told you Hamid is trying to contact the Hakeem of Waraqi Sultanath? He could just send and receive letters through someone making a journey from here to there. And the caravan of traders from the Waraqi Sultanath are allowed to come here only once in six months according to our foreign policy. It was very difficult to pass messages. Hamid needed a fast and convenient method and he came up with the idea of training pigeons. He has been training them since 3 months and yesterday his efforts bore fruit. The pigeon came back with a reply from the Hakeem in the evening. In his next letter he is going to ask his advice on your condition Haleema!"

I jump up with joy. "Alhamdulillah! Alhamdulillah!" I shout hugging Seher Khala.
"InshaAllah you will be fine soon. He is a very experienced Hakeem and will surely suggest good medicine. And.." Seher Khala gives me a side glance "we will be applying henna on someone's hands soon after that". With that she rises up to leave and I bid her goodbye.

"Maa, remember the story of sparrows you used to tell me?" I ask sitting beside her weaving baskets.
"Yes I do"
"I like the part where the mother pushes them off the nest so they learn to fly"
"And what are you trying to imply you naughty girl?"
"The mother sparrow took the risk of seeing her child fall to death only to experience the joy of seeing her fly high in the sky"
Maa looks at me keenly. I stop weaving and hold her gaze. Her eyes tell me a thousand things and they slowly grow moist. She opens her arms wide. "Come here". She kisses my cheek. "You are so like your father. That sharp wit! Clearly you have been created for doing the extraordinary. Go my child. My blessings are with you."

That is all I need. I hug her tightly. I want to break down and cry but I use every last ounce of my energy to hold back the tears. She didn't need to see my tears now. Instead I give her a big smile and jump up.
"I am making your favorite soup for lunch"

I lovingly feed her the soup. A few drops dribble down from the corner of the mouth. I wipe them away with a napkin. Maa had become more fragile, though she was in constant pain she hardly showed it. She loved these moments when I sat by her and spent time with her. When she had the strength we talked a lot and when she was tired we just gave each other company in silence. Even that silence had a beauty of it's own.

"Maa, why would a woman tolerate domestic abuse without seeking help?", I ask.
"Either she is very much in love or very much afraid"
"She is very much afraid, more likely", I say.
"Whom are you talking about?", she inquires.
"A woman I met yesterday. It was her I used the herbs on. Poor lady was badly hurt. Physical injuries will heal easily but what about her wounded heart? There are no herbs that can heal it"
"Wounded hearts can be healed with love and time alone. But the scars will remain"
"I need to see her again Maa. She needs someone to stand by her"
"Be careful sweetheart, I don't want you getting hurt"
"Sure Maa"

I walk to the Shahi housing. On the way I come across a group of women drawing water from a well. This was my opportunity! I run to them pretending to be bursting with news.
"Khala", I say addressing the woman in front of me "do you know what I heard?"
"What?", she asks clearly excited to hear the latest gossip.
"Shehzada Sher Shah is reaching out to help people. He told that he can't wait till the court crowns him King to start helping his subjects. He is using all his jewelry for the treasury is not issuing him money. In fact he has sent his men to dig wells in Maidan-e-khushk today".
"May Allah bless him", she says with glee.
"That's not it Yasmin Aapa, I heard he shifted his room among the servants", says another.
"Really? What a noble Shehzada we have"
"I hope they crown him soon. We need a Shehenshah like him"
"I also heard he is very handsome".
"Oooh, I am not missing the crowning ceremony then", says a young girl blushing.
"Behave yourself Aaminah", her mother warns her.
"Malika Mariam was a beauty after all. No wonder the Shehzada has good looks"
"And a good heart", said another.
"And a high temper"
"Temper is a good thing in a way, if he doesn't inspire fear then people will take him lightly"
"Handsome, angry young man with a good heart. What a nice combination. I wonder whom he will marry", says the girl called Aaminah.
"Whoever he marries will be worthy of him, stop building castles in mid air"
"Aaah, how nice it would be to become his wife". Her mother hits her sharply on the head.
"If you breath one more word about the Shehzada I'll get you married to Akram tomorrow"
"No way! I am not marrying that pipsqueak".
"Leave her Fatima, why are you forcing the poor girl. Let her dream till the reality settles in her mind"
"But why isn't the court crowning him?"
"Wazir-e-aala said the Shehzada is not trained enough to sit on the throne"
"That would be a joke Faheema, the training of a Shehzada begins as soon as he is born, we all know that, don't we?"
"Then why isn't he letting Shehzada take over Yasmin Aapa?"
"Maybe the Wazir-e-aala has impure intentions", says another woman.
"Don't you dare voice such thoughts. You can be arrested for treason. Wazir-e-aala is not a merciful man"

I had heard enough to satisfy my curiosity. Alhamdulillah everything was running the way we wanted it to. I slowly slip away.