Cristina and Christian stood outside of the glass doors, looking over the area where the deck would be built. After two days of walking around the house like a zombie, Christian seemed more like himself.

"Where you went wrong before was not leveling out the ground before you started building," Cristina commented.

"So, my ground was bipolar and that's why the deck was wonky," Christian commented with a smile.

Cristina chuckled. "Yeah, you could say that. You've got to level out before you build." She considered the implications on their personal lives as well. She had to admit that she was catching feelings for this man. She had tried not to, but the close quarters and her empathy for his struggles with his illness were tugging at her heart strings. She had known the Great Sadness since her childhood. He had followed her throughout her entire life. She had never experienced the highs, but she knew the lows, for sure. In fact, the reason Sean had left her was because he said he couldn't bear her dark times. Her abuela had summed it up well, "No tiene nada de aguante ese chavo." And it was true, he had no staying power. When the Great Sadness had set up his tent in her heart, Sean couldn't hold a lantern for her until she could crawl to safety.

Christian studied her face. Sometimes she zoned out with a faraway look. He wondered what that pain was that made the light go from her eyes. He took a chance and slipped his tattooed arm around her shoulders. She didn't pull away. He hadn't forgotten how she had held him just a few days before when he was overwhelmed by the darkness to the point where he felt he couldn't breathe. Now, as he held Cristina's silky brown hair against his chest, he felt her exhale. He wondered how long she had been holding that in. She stayed like that for a few moments before pulling away.

"Let's get to it," she said, picking up a shovel. "Where it's too high, dig some of the dirt off and put it where it looks low. It's really that simple. We're looking for balance," Cristina instructed.

As they worked, Cristina took covert peeks at Christian's muscled arms as he dug up the old ground. It was ground that was firmly in its place as it hadn't been touched for years. But it was not immovable. It just took work.

When they finally had the ground leveled, they put in posts that would provide stability. After placing each post, Cristina would place a leveler on the top to check.

"The bubble has to be between the middle lines. If the bubble is hanging out on either side, it's not level, not matter how good it seems to the naked eye," she explained.

"Naked," Christian scoffed like a 6th-grader in sex ed.

"Grow up," Cristina chided, slapping his arm playfully. Christian grabbed her hand and pulled her close to him. Her hazel eyes opened wide, but it wasn't fear that he saw in their depths. It gave him hope for what he was about to say.

He held her tan face in his hands. "I really like you. You know that, right?" he asked expectantly.

"I guess I had a hunch," she replied, blinking because she couldn't keep her eyes on him for too long at once because, when she did, she felt something rising up in her chest. It felt like something between pain and joy. It wasn't quite one or the other.

He leaned in. Cristina tried not to gasp. He was going to kiss her. She was afraid to fall again like she had with Sean, but she was also curious about Christian. What would it be like to be loved by him? Would it be different than it had been with Sean?

After what seemed like an eternity, he finally closed that space between them. He was like a snake charmer. He could make her lips do whatever he wanted them to. Cristina could say with certitude that kissing Sean had been nothing like this. He kissed her with something more than passion. What was it? The only word that came to mind was adoration. He kissed her with a reverence like she had seen her abuela kiss her crucifix. It made her feel powerful. This kind of power was a bit unnerving, but she kind of liked it.

Christian ran his hands down her waist to where her hips flared out. "Where the hell have you been all my life," he marveled against her neck. He picked her up and carried her inside, setting her down gently on the couch. He hovered close to her. When Cristina tried to pull him to her, he just shook his head and smiled.

"Not yet," he laughed. "Patience," he scolded her with a smile.

"You're a tease," she said, giving him a smack on the behind.

"I know," he admitted. "But I'm thinking our ground needs to be leveled out a bit before we try to build on it," he repeated her words in this new context. "I want to get to be more stable before we get to a point of no return. You get what I mean, right?"

"Yeah, I get it," Cristina answered.

"Hey, how about food?" Christian asked, seeking to change the subject.

"I could eat," Cristina answered.

They searched the kitchen and managed to find some ramen and a can of tuna. After they ate their simple meal, they raided the freezer full of chocolate ice cream. The went to the couch with a quart of ice cream and two spoons. Christian held out a spoonful of ice cream toward Cristina, but when she tried to take the spoon in her mouth, he pulled it away quickly and ate it himself. He grinned impishly.

"Oh, is that how we're playing this?" she asked, sticking her finger into the tub, wiping her chocolate covered finger on his nose.

"You're gonna regret that," he warned with a grin as he took a whole handful of ice cream which he smeared through her hair.

"That tears it!" Cristina shrieked, wiping her sticky hair on his chest. Eventually, they both ended up laughing and sticky.

"Look at us," Christian laughed. "How old are we anyway?"

"You started it," she reminded him.

"Well, I always say never to start something you can't finish," he said more seriously. Kissing her sticky, sweet lips. "I'm already in too deep," he admitted. "What am I going to do?" he asked, his voice turning strained. "What will happen when the darkness comes back?" he asked like a frightened child.

"Let's cross that bridge when we come to it. If you suffer preemptively, you suffer twice --- once now and once again later," she said sagely. "Anyway, it doesn't work. We think that if we suffer now, we can save ourselves from suffering later. But it's just not true."

"How did you get to be so wise?" he asked.

"Years of therapy," she quipped.

"Speaking of which," Christian said, "I haven't seen my therapist in weeks since everyone is shut down because of covid. That's a problem, isn't it?" he asked rhetorically.

"I would say so," Cristina agreed. "We're in uncharted territory here."

"If we're headed into the belly of the beast, I can't imagine anyone I would rather have with me," Christian replied.

"Wow, you make it sound so menacing," Cristina answered.

"Well, I know how low the lows can go," he admitted.