'No matter how strong a girl is,

she always has a breaking point.'

- Unknown

. . . 

A groan passed Riptide's lips as the rising sunlight roused her from sleep.

She woke to pain, aching and white hot. It hurt to move, to breathe, to think.

She tried opening her eyes, only to find that there was only one that was listening to what her mind was telling it. But as soon as that one eye opened it was clamped shut against the blinding sun. Her mind whirled. Her stomach following closely behind it. She pushed herself onto her elbows, ignoring the lance of pain that ran through her body at the sudden movement, just in time for her to empty the contents of her stomach.

She retched and retched and retched.

She felt hands at her back, pulling her hair away from her face. A low voice coming from behind here, murmuring softly to her.

"It's okay. I'm here. You're okay."

JJ.

She wasn't sure how she was so sure that it was him, when her mind was scattered, fogged by a killer hangover, she just knew it was him. Somewhere along the line she just became able to pick him out from a crowd without even really looking. She knew when he was around just by being able to sense him there. She knew his smell of ocean and salt, smoke and the earthy tones of weed. She knew him by the timbre of his voice, that she felt certain she'd be able to pick out amongst a clamour of noise. She knew him by whenever their skin would occasionally touch or brush against each other and a fire would be lit beneath her skin, no matter how hard she'd try to ignore it.

Just as his hands were doing in that moment as his fingers whispered against her skin as he brought her hair back.

And with that, Rip remembered everything that had happened since she had last seen him.

A different kind of pain settled in her chest, her heart.

When she was sure that she wasn't going to throw up anymore, Rip slumped back, into JJ's chest.

He didn't complain. Didn't comment. Didn't ask any questions. Just waited for her to gather herself and somehow Riptide found that her embarrassment was growing faster the longer the silence stretched.

But he had stayed with her. He hadn't left her in the dirt as she went about trying to destroy herself. He had stayed and sat with her. Lay in the dirt with her. It had been a long long time since anyone had done that.

She picked at her clothes that were covered in dirt and alcohol.

"My brother died."

She felt JJ's gaze turn to her. But she didn't look up at him. She couldn't bring herself to see the sympathy in his eyes. She didn't deserve that, not when she'd failed Finn as she had.

But she felt his silent question in the air.

"He'd gone to get a glass of water in the middle of the night and he'd fallen down the stairs. Then I find out that he'd had a brain tumour that affected his balance and made his body prone to breaking. And the doctors think that that's what made him fall down the stairs. So he died." Her voice broke on that last word. She hadn't realised she'd started to cry. "And I knew he was clumsy and that he bruised easier than his brother but I didn't think anything of it even though I'd always known somewhere in the back of my mind that he wasn't quite right, that he needed watching more than Noah did. But I wasn't there. I wasn't there when he needed me. And he died."

She buried her swirling head in her hands as she sobbed.

A hand found her back. It didn't move but it was just a steady weight. Reminding her that she wasn't alone.

"It's not your fault, Rip." JJ murmured softly.

But Rip growled, shaking her head as she clawed her way to her feet away from him. "It is my fault. It is all my fault. Because people around me die! I was supposed to look after my brothers. I was supposed to give them a better life and one of them is dead! Finn is dead! Because I wasn't there! Because Finn always woke me up in the night if he needed some water because he didn't like the dark! But I wasn't there for him! I wasn't there for him so he had to get his water himself! And he is dead! And it is all my fault!"

The more she spoke, the louder she became until she was all but roaring her pain into the world.

It made her throat burn, her head swarm, her face ache in pain.

But she was angry with herself. She was disgusted with herself that she'd failed in the one thing she was meant to do. Protect her brothers. And now Finn was dead. And she was that angry with herself that after she'd left the hospital she'd gone to David's. She went because she knew he'd just be getting home from a night in some bar. She went because she knew that he hated her with unbridled passion and he'd be angry himself because she'd thrown herself out of his car to avoid getting punished for the restitution she'd been landed with. She went because she deserved that punishment. Because she'd failed Finn, she'd failed Noah, she'd failed her father.

And once Rip had come around from David's rage she'd made her way to Rixon's Cove, stealing his drink along the way and she proceeded to drown in oblivion. Because the pain was too much. It was all too much.

"He was only five years old." She whispered, her erratic movements coming to a halt. As the thought of the life Finn would no longer be able to live flashed through her mind. He would never reach high school. He would never join in clubs for maths and physics like he'd always wanted to do. He'd never have his first kiss. He'd never go to college or get married. He'd never live the life he was due. He'd never breathe again. She'd never hold him again. She'd never see his smile, hear his laugh, hear his voice.

Arms surrounded her and brought her into a hug. By description it was bone-crushing. But for Riptide, it was the only thing that stopped her from completely shattering.

. . . 

By the time they reached the Chateaux, after spending some time cleaning up, John B and Pope were getting the Pogue ready to set sail.

They were betting on whether Kie or Sarah had scrapped or not and when Rip looked over at JJ for some answers he quickly explained that they'd marooned them on Heyward's boat in the middle of the marsh. Rip winced, thinking of all the reasons as to why that was probably not a good idea but what could she do, the boys had already done it and now they'd just have to deal with the repercussions of it.

JJ led her into the Chateaux and grabbed her a bag of frozen peas for her eye and helped her clean up and dress some of her wounds. She could've kissed him when he tossed her some painkillers.

When she looked a slight better than she did before and she took a quick shower and changed clothes, JJ leaving her one of his t-shirts, she headed back out.

JJ was leaning against the side of the boat with his arms folded and from the serious look in his eyes and the frowns on Pope's and John B's Rip could imagine that she was the topic of conversation.

They seemed to sense her presence and when John B and Pope glanced over at her they gawked. Rip shivered uncomfortably as their eyes roved over her face, landing especially on the peas she was holding to her eye.

"Sorry I've been M.I.A. I got a little caught up with a few things." She said, trying to keep her voice light as she approached the boys.

John B and Pope looked at JJ and his eyes seemed to harden, telling them to leave it.

Both boys jaw's ticked as they exchanged a look.

But then John B looked over to her and forced a tight smile onto his face. "Glad to have you back on board. That is if you want to join the hunt again?"

The part of Rip that had driven her to drink herself into oblivion, that had driven her to David's to get beat to all hell, that wild, reckless, frayed part of her cracked a wicked grin. 

JJ looked at her uneasily as a slow unfurling smirk painted her face. Something prowled in her eye that made him on edge, made him worried about what was going on in her mind. The way she had been in the clearing, as she told him what had happened to one of her brothers he never even knew she had, he had never seen her like that. She had shown him a glimpse of how broken she was, how deeply she had been fractured and shattered. It tore his heart apart. Seeing her like that made him feel as though he was breaking along with her. And for that smirk to grace her mouth? JJ didn't think anything good could come of it.

But still she looked at John B, with that unfamiliar wild grin.

. . . 

"Uh-oh, you forget your keys or something?" Pope's voice rang out across the marsh.

Kie and Sarah were sat on the stern of the boat and from what Rip could see out of her one good eye there didn't seem to be any blood or evidence of a scrap.

"You need a tow?" John B hollered next as the HMS Pogue neared Heyward's boat. "You gotta admit, it was funny."

"John B." Kie greeted with a very flat voice. "Mastermind, huh?"

The boy shrugged a shoulder as he steered the Pogue alongside the boat. "I'm always plannin'."

Kie rolled her eyes. "Some patriarchal bullshit."

"Yeah, that sucked." Sarah agreed.

Rip cocked her head at them. Something must've worked if they were even able to agree on something together.

"You still love us though, right?" JJ grinned, the gentle wind threading through his dirty blond locks as he tossed them a line of rope.

It was Sarah's turn to roll her eyes. "Yeah, whatever."

"Hey, you still hate me?" John B asked looking up at his newly proclaimed girlfriend.

JJ had filled her in on the ride over to the marsh about everything that had happened since she'd disappeared on them. She had blinked at him in surprise when she'd heard what had happened. As far as she knew John B and Sarah hated each other. She had no idea when the pair would've spent any time together to have become close enough to become boyfriend and girlfriend.

Sarah folded her arms and cocked an eyebrow. "A little. We're both gonna get you back when you least expect it."

"Watch your back, boys." It was then that Kie seemed to notice Rip, sat at the back and her face paled at the sight of her face. JJ was too slow in trying to tell her to leave it. "Rip? What the hell happened to you?"

Rip gave her a cooled look through the shades she'd squished onto her face to hide the swelling of her eye. But there was no hiding the cuts and bruises that littered the rest of it. "What? This?" She gestured to her face brazenly with a hand. "Oh, I ran into a tree."

Before Kie could say anymore, before she could voice the obvious doubt on her face, surprisingly Pope was the one that cut in. "So, did you guys, you know . . ."

Kie raised an eyebrow in Rip's direction, making the firm decision to find out what had really happened one way or another but glanced over to Pope. "Reconcile out differences?"

Sarah shook her head. "Mm-mm."

"Not even close."

"But we're . . . we're willing to work together." Sarah said slowly, looking out to the rising sun.

Rip couldn't describe the grin that blossomed onto John B's face. "You know what? That's victory."

JJ nodded along. "Yep."

"All right, you guys ready to jack someone up?" John B asked, looking up to the girls.

A smile pulled at Kie's mouth as she jumped into the Pogue. "Yeah, whatever."

"Let's get it." JJ agreed. 

That wild reckless smirk made its way onto Rip's face once more, stretching the cut of her busted lip.

"Let's go get that gold."

. . . 

       "You got rope?" John B asked as they were ever nearing their destination.

"Got it." Pope replied.

"Grappling hook?"

"No grappling hook." Pope replied flatly. "We're not Batman."

A lazy smirk tugged at Riptide's mouth at the comment and she took a swig of some beer she'd managed to swipe from the Chateaux before they'd left. The others were sending her concerned looks every now and then but none made to comment.

"Pulley?"

"Check." Kie answered.

"Dark clothes?"

"Got it." Came Sarah.

"Flashlights?"

"Check." JJ replied.

"All right, good." John B said finally. "We're ready."

"You need to cool you're jets, John B. We're only breaking into an axe murderer's house to steal a cache of gold." Rip spoke up, that lazy smile still painting her lips. The rational, responsible part of her that had ruled her for so long was nowhere to be seen. That part of her had died along with Finn. Now, there was just everything else left.

"Let's go." Kie murmured, glancing her way with worry in her eyes.

"Let's go get rich, guys." JJ said, a lightness and anticipation in his voice that dragged the attention away from Rip.

John B slid out the van, opening up the side door before they could all pile out.

"I just wanna say thank you, guys. Seriously." He looked at all of them individually. "It means a lot to me that you're here tonight."

Kie smiled at him. "Always."

"Of course, man." Pope smiled, exchanging a handshake with John B.

"Aw be still my aching heart." Rip sighed, the sarcasm dripping from her tone.

JJ hefted the wad of rope over a shoulder. "All right, we done with this circle jerk? Can we go do this?"

He might not of wanted to admit it, but a distant part of Rip knew that he was comforted by John B's words.

"Let's get that wheat in the water." Pope grinned as they began to pile out of the van.

"Weed? I'm up for weed." JJ noted.

"I second that." Rip added, as she jumped out the van, tossing her empty bottle back into the van.

Pope rolled his eyes. "Wheat. I said wheat."

Rip pulled herself up and over the garden wall with surprising ease for someone who was marginally intoxicated.

The group crouched low as they walked through the gardens, but as they came to a gap in the bushes that revealed the front of the house a porch light flickered on with their movement.

Rip didn't feel any of the panic that the group exhibited as they scrambled to get to cover, dragging her along with them. If she was being honest, she wasn't really feeling anything anymore. But if she did look inward and poked for some sort of emotion, the roiling silent storm raging inside of her would snap lightning at her. It was better, easier, if she didn't acknowledge that it was there. It hurt too much to acknowledge it. So she kept it contained to the point where she felt nothing.

No fear. No anger. No guilt. Nothing.

"It's on strobe!" JJ whispered harshly.

"Flashlights." Kie said, the order to turn them all off embedded into the word.

John B pressed a finger to his mouth. "Shh."

"Okay." Pope pulled off his hood. "Okay, so she has motion sensor lights."

"Really? I hadn't noticed."

Pope threw a glare Rip's way.

"We could, uh . . . move really slowly, maybe?" JJ suggested.

Sarah pulled a face at him. "What?"

Rip narrowed her eyes at the Kook. She was a newbie to the group. She hadn't achieved tease JJ status yet.

"That's not how it works." Pope said looking over at him.

"Oh, shit. Let's throw a rock at it." John B said.

Riptide rolled her eyes, mumbling under her breath.

"That's a really good idea. Let the axe murderer know that we're here." Kie sassed, making Rip chuckle. She liked sarcastic Kiara.

"Throw a rock at it?" Pope looked over at John B with a 'really?' look plastered across his face.

John B frowned defensively. "You have a better idea?"

"Literally anything but that." Kie said.

"What about the breaker? In the circuit box on the porch." Sarah suggested.

John B raised his eyebrows at her, surprised she'd suggested such a thing.

"We used to play hide-and-seek here as kids." Sarah explained. "And if we were brave enough, we'd go all the way up to the porch." Rip had to give it to her, the Kook princess had some balls. "I've seen it."

But John B instantly shook his head. "No, no. You're not going in the house alone."

Sarah pulled a face. "Watch me."

"Crain chops people into pieces." JJ pointed out with a frown but Sarah just rolled her eyes.

"If you believe that, but she's like what, eighty five?"

JJ pursed his lips and shrugged. "Yeah, somethin' like that."

"She's probably barely still kicking."

"Here. I'll go with you." Kie said, looking over to the girl.

Rip sighed, rolling her shoulders. "Same here. Count me in."

"No, nope. Not a chance."

Rip narrowed her eyes at JJ. "And why not?"

"To be fair, the mind's not exactly clear, right now." Pope added before JJ could comment and tapped the side of his head.

Her narrowed eyes turned into a glower. "Your point? JJ's high as a kite half the time, I have one drink and all of a sudden I'm useless? What was the point having me come if the only thing you'd let me do is sit on my ass?" Rip folded her arms across her chest. "Besides wouldn't you rather three of us go in than two?"

Sarah looked over to Pope. "It would better the odds. Plus Riptide has a mean right hook." Rip looked over at her and the girl just shrugged. "What? I remember what happened at the Wreck with my brother."

Rip sat back on her heels. "In my defence, he deserved it."

Sarah flashed her a grin. "I don't doubt that he did."

Rip returned her grin. Perhaps she wasn't as bad as the Pogues had thought she was.

"It's decided then," Rip looked over to the boys, "I'm going with them and you can't stop me."

JJ's eyes landed on hers and a silent battle ensued. That responsible part of her that would've told her not to venture into the building that housed an alleged axe murderer but that part of her was being suffocated by the numb nothing that had settled in Rip's chest. But then Noah drifted into her mind and a sharp pain cut through that numbness and speared through her heart. She still had one brother, even though she'd lost the other. She still had Noah. And Noah deserved more than the world itself, especially now that he'd lost his brother. She had to take this risk. It wouldn't fix anything that she'd done, or rather had failed to do, but it would give him the future that she had wanted for both him and Finn. The future he deserved.

So when JJ let out a huff of breath and looked away, Rip felt no guilt.

She had tried to be responsible and it hadn't worked. So maybe if she took the risks she'd never dared herself to take, maybe she could give her younger brother a future.

"Okay, we'll wait for your signal." Pope said looking at the girls.

"Okay, cool." Sarah said, rising from her crouch.

Kie and Rip did the same and made to follow her around the house.

"Hey!" John B called out, making them all look back. "Be safe."

Rip's eyes flickered over to JJ and she found he was staring at her. Though he wouldn't say it, he'd never say it as John B would, she received the silent message conveyed there.

The girls left the boys as they began taunting John B over his cringe worthy message.

"She must have a generator plugged into the main power supply." Sarah said, pushing aside branches from low hanging trees.

Rip supposed her heart should've been thumping erratically in her chest as they entered the garden and Sarah shone her torch up the steps of the back of the house. But her fear was a distant thing. It was something that she could remove herself from and poke at it with her toe.

She spied the box fixed to the wall and reached for it, pulling the lid open.

A frown pulled at her mouth when she noticed that this was not what they were looking for.

"Where are the breakers?" Sarah asked, confusion lacing her tone.

Kie looked up, trying to find anything to tell them something and when it did she could only breathe, "Shit."

Riptide followed her gaze and Sarah did the same allowing the torch to follow the path of the piping, up the side of the house.

"It goes inside."

Rip pursed her lips and shrugged. "Well what are we waiting for? Let's go."

She stepped towards the back door of the house with a confidence another version of her most definitely wouldn't feel and she eased the door open.

Sarah and Kie exchanged a look of unease but tentatively followed after her.

Several years of becoming as quiet as a mouse to avoid alerting David to her presence had Rip instinctively walking on silent feet. She barely breathed a whisper and seemed much more at ease sneaking through the house of an axe murderer than the other two girls did.

She shone her torch into the darkness of the living room trying to find any sign of the pipe that had disappeared from outside.

"Hey." Kie whispered and pointed up to the ceiling. Sarah and Rip followed her gaze up with their flashlights and nodded when they discovered the pipe on the ceiling. Upon following it, they couldn't contain their grins when they found the breakers.

Rip shut them down, taking extra care to keep it quiet.

The porch light flickered off, sending the boys their signal, and a tendril of anticipation whispered through Rip's chest like a curl of smoke on the wind.