When I woke up, it was to the sound of a gunshot. I could hear people talking outside of the drop ship, all their voices were laced with concern. Something urgent was happening and I was missing it.

Looking around me, I noticed that I was alone. Bellamy had left me in our corner of the dropship by myself. Sighing, I moved to grab my clothes and began to throw them on. My peaceful moment with Bellamy was over and now it was time for me to return to the world outside of our bubble.

After I was dressed, I began to make my way out if the dropship. It was night still, I either didn't get a lot of sleep or I had slept all through the day. I was betting on the latter, seeing as I hadn't felt this rested in a long time. That had been one of the best sleeps I've had since we came down from the Ark. And it was all because of Bellamy.

When I made my way into the crowd, I noticed a commotion going on outside the gate. I looked around me and saw that everyone else's heads were turned as well, Monty was standing just to my right and I went over to him.

"What's going on," I asked him.

"Woah," Monty jumped after I had snuck up on him, "sleeping beauty is awake."

"Ha.Ha.," I mocked back at him as I crossed my arms over my chest, "what have I missed?"

"The Exodus ship came down, there was a crash. Bellamy and Clarke took a group out to look for survivors," Monty stated as both our eyes were locked into the gate.

So that explained why Bellamy was gone, he was out on a task. I was happy, not at the fact that the Exodus ship crashed, but that Bellamy hadn't just left me. A part of me back there began to wonder if I was just like every other girl he'd been with before, if I was just another tally on his list if lays. Knowing now, that he was out of camp made me feel a bit better about myself.

"Okay, what's going on out there? I heard gunshots," I pointed towards the gate.

"A grounder?" He was asking me, which meant he wasn't anymore sure than I was.

Panic spread through me and I sprinted towards the group outside of camp. There were only two grounders dumb enough to come this close to our gates, and both of them I knew and cared for. If one of our guards had shot them, I was going to loose my mind. The group was all huddled around someone on the ground and I spotted Octavia's head in the middle of it.

Oh God. If Octavia was here, it must have been Lincoln. I pushed the other two boys out of my way so I could see who had been shot and froze when I saw who it was.

"Murphy," I questioned. There wasn't one inch of him that wasn't covered in blood. His eyes were swollen and black, his clothes were all torn to shreds and he looked like he had literally been through hell.

I knew banishing him, would mean he'd have a run in with the grounders, but I never imagined that this would happen to him. I never wanted him to suffer this much and guilt began to eat away at me, this happened to him because of me. Bellamy wouldn't have been as harsh to him, if Murphy hadn't threatened me. I knew indirectly this was my fault he had been tortured.

"Well," I yelled at the boys behind me, "come on and help me get him to the dropship!"

•the return•

We were all huddled together, watching him as he shook with fear. This broken down man, wasn't the cocky Murphy we had all known. He appeared weak, his soul beaten out of him.

He barely even let us carry him in, too scared of what we would do to him. Even now, he sat curled up into a ball, trying to hide himself up against the wall. It was such an odd sight to see, to see him cowering away from us all.

Bellamy came storming into the dropship, after the sun had rose, demanding to see him. Clarke was hot on his tail and I couldn't help but feel a bit jealous of how they were always together. Ever since their trip to that bunker they had grown extremely close and there was a way they looked at one another that I could never explain. Something about their relationship had changed from hating one another to something much more, which was good for us as they were our unspoken leaders, but a part of me didn't like it.

The crowd that had gathered around Murphy began to part, letting the two through, but I never moved from my spot. Looking down on Murphy with my arms crossed, I couldn't take my eyes off of him. Although, he was clearly beaten mearciously, I still didn't trust him. I don't think I ever would be able too, after what had happened.

"Everyone but Conor and Derrek out," Bellamy said after his eyes locked on to him. When no one moved her looked around at us all and said, "now!"

The group began to leave, except for me. Even Octavia left, but I wasn't going too. There was no way I was letting Murphy out if my sight after what he had done to me. I wouldn't allow something like that to happen again.

"He claims he was with the grounders," Derrek stated after everyone left.

"We caught him trying to sneak back into camp," Conor added.

"I wasn't sneaking," Murphy finally spoke up. His voice was different as well, it was quieter and overall sounded weak; "I was running from the grounders."

"Anyone see grounders," Bellamy asked the two boys. They silently shook their heads no and now that I thought of it, I hadn't either.

"Well in that case," Bellamy raised his gun at Murphy. I stepped out of the way, letting him take his aim. I wasn't going to let Bellamy not take a chance at killing Murphy, but Finn stepped into the way instead.

"Hey what is wrong with you," Finn questioned Bellamy as he pushed the gun down.

"He was clear what would happen to him if he tried to come back," I agreed with Bellamy. Murphy knew that if he ever returned that Bellamy would kill him and I didn't blame Bellamy. Sure, I felt guilty that Murphy had been tortured by grounders, but that didn't change the fact that he tried to kill me.

"No!" Finn yelled at me as he stepped infront of Murphy in a protective stance, "if he was with the grounders, than he knows things that could help us!"

"Help us?" Bellamy mocked back towards Finn as he raised his gun again, "we hanged him. And banished him. And now we're gonna kill him."

"Get the hell out of his way, Finn!" I said as I stepped up beside Bellamy.

"No," Clarke stated loudly, "Finn's right." The blonde girl moved out from beside Bellamy and went towards Murphy.

I watched in shock as she began to anylze the damage down to him.

"Like hell he is," Bellamy said next" Clarke, think about Charolett!"

"Charlotte was as much our faults as it was Murphy's," she said as she looked at Murphy's hands.

"Okay, what about me?" I questioned next, "he tried to kill me!"

"We all know that Murphy was never going to kill you," Clarke said with her back turned to me.

"Says the girl that didn't have a knife to her throat," I growled.

"He's not lying," Clarke said as she lifted his hand up, ignoring what I had just said, "his finger nails were torn off. They tortured him."

"You and the grounders should compare notes," Finn leaned in towards Bellamy in disgust.

"The grounders know that we are at war," Bellamy shouted towards Finn before turning back to Murphy, "what did you tell them about us?"

"Everything."

Well that just made things so much better than they were before. I watched as Clarke stood from her spot and made her way towards us, everything about her had suddenly changed.

"Once he's better, we find out everything he knows and than he is out of here," she than turned towards me, "okay?"

I nodded my head at her, that was better than nothing I guess. That and we did what he knew about Anya and her people. After everything that had happened, a war was sure to be brewing now and if we stood any chance against them, we needed as much information as we could get.

Clarke took my nod as an agreement began to leave the dropship, but not before Bellamy had another question, "what if he refused to leave? What do we do with him than?"

Clarke looked at Murphy, than she glanced at me, I noticed her eyes scanning in on the scar on my neck. She was thinking out a plan and I knew that once she looked to Bellamy she had made up her mind, "than we kill him."

After Clarke left, Finn followed after her. I wasn't just ready to leave yet and I turned back to glance at Murphy, our eyes met and I was frozen. As much as I hated him, I couldn't deny the part of me that felt bad for him. I could only imagine the pain he was going through right now and it brought me only a little bit of pleasure to witness it. It wasn't like I was hoping I'd be feeling, I was thinking that seeing him in pain would make me feel better. This was what he deserved after all, he deserved to feel the pain I felt after losing Charlotte.

Eventually, I caved and left the dropship, following Bellamy's lead back out into the camp. Murphy became nothing but a thought in the back of my mind as I tired to figure out what to say to Bellamy. As much as I wanted to just pick up where things had last left off with us, I couldn't. There was this underlying thing between us and neither of us said anything about us sleeping together. Instead, we just stared at one another, our eyes taking in the sight of each other and knowing what we had done.

"I, uh-" I began at the same time he tried to say, "we should uh-"

I laughed a bit at the situation and looked away from him, "this is awkward now, isn't it?"

"A bit," Bellamy laughed along with me. We both eventually stopped laughing and returned to looking at one another, "are you okay?"

I gulped at the question and just nodded my head, "I'm fine. You?"

"Good," he agreed and than began to fidget with the gun in his hands. This was not how I wanted things to be between us and yet, somehow it had happened. I liked him, there was no denying that now, but I wasn't entirely clear on his feelings towards me. I assumed he liked me, I mean the last time I had saw him he was naked in my arms, so that must have meant he liked me.. right?

Clearing my throat, I looked out towards the others around us and saw Octavia watching us. Her eyes scaled in on us as she stood beside her tent, her gaze made me shiver thinking that she knew. She had to have known, I mean we were the only two in the dropship that night and so when Bellamy came out, I'm sure people began to figure it out. It wouldn't have been that hard to figure it out. I was in the dropship, he was in the dropship, we spent the whole night in there. Alone.

"I should get back to work," Bellamy said after giving his head a slight shake.

My eyes moved back on to him and I nodded my head, "yeah, uh I should go."

I went to walk past him and head towards Octavia, when he grabbed my arm, "hey."

"What," I asked him, my voice was a but colder. If anything, this conversation was just proving my point that I was like every other girl he had been with. There had been nothing special about me, I was like everyone else.

"I don't regret it," he said slowly as he pulled my body into him. Everyone around us could see what he was doing, he was being intimate with me in public, for everyone to watch. I was different.

"Nor do I," I faxed up at him.

"I'll see you tonight?"

"Tonight," I smiled as I pated him on the chest with my hand and than laughed as I pushed him away.

He was going to be the death of me and all of my hormonal teenage emotions, that much had become crystal clear.