by : angge_RJ

(As Renjun wants, he keeps Jaemin. But not Jaemin’s bloody enthusiasm.)

tw: blood, bipolar behavior, murder, foul words.

Renjun switched off the heater before carefully pouring it into his tea mug. He drops the tea bag and stirs it slowly. He turned around to kill the stove, reaching for the plate to put the ham and egg there, when someone hugged him from behind.

"Good morning sweetheart," he kissed the side of his neck. Renjun smiled.

"Morning darling, you might want to take your seat now."

"But you're warm." he literally heard him pout.

"Sit down. Now."

He heard him puffs but still complied, not without a kiss on his cheek. Renjun shakes his head before facing him with their breakfast.

His face was beaming, already waiting for Renjun. His forehead creased when he saw him holding a squared velvet box with a complete-teeth-smile he's smiling so wide that his eyes are mold into crescent.

"What's that?"

"My present!" he comes closer to hand out the box, he shyly clears his throat.

"Sorry, I planned to take you out on a trip but.. Well, my company got problems in giving us wages, I might transfer in a new studio far away from your hospital but I still have money left that's why I was still able to buy a gift for you." he scratches his nape while smiling sheepishly.

Renjun felt his heart throb--not because he's in pain but because of his lover who was trying his best to be better, a vow that he sealed with Renjun in exchange of letting him out in his cell.

"Darling, you know that I don't mind. You should've just keep--"

"No. I want it for you. I failed to take you on a trip. But I saved some for this gift. It's… it's my first gift to you.. "

He looks down to search for his hand, only for the latter to intertwine them. He smiles as he pulls it closer to place a soft kiss on the back palm. He looked at him.

"You always give something to me. You gave me everything I didn't have before. I'm grateful for you. Please accept this little gift of mine as I will do my best to be better and be deserving for you,"

He smiled once again and leaned in, bringing their faces closer, he whispered, "I love you, sweetheart."

Renjun squeals and throws his hands on his neck to pull him in with an open mouth kiss. He chuckled before circling his arms on his waist, wrenching him to fully explore his mouth, tasting his sweetness, their shared toothpaste, biting his tongue, and crashing their teeths.

They take their time making out, time isn't something they ran out.

But Renjun pulled away, softly brushing their lips, "Thank you, darling."

He pressed a final kiss before he let him settle on his own feet, "Open it! I personally picked it!"

Renjun playfully eyed him before carefully lifting the top of the box. A name, Daniel Wellington curved on the top of the box. A thin gold wristlet greets his eyes, it's beautifully resting on a soft cloth with little leaves of roses around it.

"Oh my god.. "

"You're worth more than silver so I got you gold." he giggled before handing out his own wrist, Renjun gaped when he saw a thin silver around it.

"You got us a couple bracelets!" Renjun bounces before plucking the bracelet, he observed it a little more when he noticed a small and in a cursive written letter.

Jaemin's

Renjun felt his soul melt because of it and he met his boyfriend's gaze, still presenting his silver bracelet, he recognize the letters too

Renjun's

"Happy anniversary, Dr. Huang… "

Renjun bites his lower lip again, eyes brimming with tears, he leans in and meets him halfway.

"Happy anniversary, Jaemin."

Sound of knocks echoed in the silent office, and Renjun mumbles, "Come in,"

The door slightly opens, revealing his intern assistant, "Someone's looking for you, Dr. Huang."

Renjun sighs, thinking it might be one of the board members of Seoul Hospital trying to convince him again to accept their offers.

"Let them in."

Renjun did not spare her a glance but he can obviously point out that she smiled before closing the doors. He finished signing the papers, arranged it and put it on the side table. He picks up the other paper containing his patient's checklist, stands up and shifts on his back to put it in the drawer. He heard the door creek open again. He fought the urge to roll his eyes and tried his best to come up in a new denial this time.

"You are so beautiful… "

He turns around and sees his lover holding a bouquet of yellow tulips in his arms--in his dark red coat, his black shirt tucked in his trouser. His new dyed black hair was brushed up to emphasize his thick brows, pointy nose and of course, his very own killer smile.

"To me… "

Jaemin was smiling while slowly approaching his lover, humming the song, he held out a hand, inviting him for a dance. Renjun can taste blood because he was trying his best to suppress his big smile. He accepted his hand.

"You are so beautiful… to me… "

Jaemin set aside the flower on his table to properly circled his left hand on his waist, his right hand interlaced with his, Renjun with a sweetest smile on his lips, rests his head on his chest, on top of his heart, beating so soundly because of the man in his arms.

"Can't you see

You're everything I hoped for…

You're everything I need…."

Jaemin places his lips on top of his head, kissing it. He was swaying the both of them in a slow yet intimate way in his lover's office, silence except from his voice whispering the sweet song near his boyfriend's ear. Renjun raised his head to look him in the eye and Jaemin finished his song.

"You are so beautiful… to me…"

They shared a glance for a while, a satisfied smile on their lips, eyes in content look in each other until Jaemin dips his head and Renjun smiles in their kiss.

"Hi.. "

"Good evening... "

Renjun chuckled and jokingly pinched his both cheeks not forgetting to press a final, long kiss, before slowly stepping backwards to gather the bouquet in his arms. He noticed the small card on it.

Sweetheart,

A bouquet of tulips for you who gave me a new beginning full of joy and happiness. See this as a sign of my eternal love for you. I love you.

Yours forever,
Jaemin

Renjun closed his eyes and smelled the tulips. He can even feel the comfort of it because of contentment.

"Thank you for the flowers, baby… "

"Anything for you."

They locked the door--not because they'll fuck inside but just to share an intimate moment for more minutes. They sat on the couch--well, mainly Jaemin, because Renjun chose to straddle in his lap. He curled the hair on his nape.

"So tell me the reason why are you here, Mr. Na? I thought you texted me because you'll be home early to cook dinner?"

Jaemin was massaging his hips, relaxing the tense muscles because of his whole day work.

"Well, I'm here for a session with my Doctor--aw! Aw! I'm joking!"

Renjun tweaked his hair and glared. He only laughed before placing a kiss on his lips. Renjun tried to nibble his lower lip but then he pulled away.

"Well, I lied. I booked a table in our favorite restaurant tonight. It's been a while since we had a proper date so it's on me tonight. Double pay today." he winked.

"So you lied to me huh?" Renjun narrowed his eyes.

"I lied because I'm planning to surprise you tonight."

"Hm. I'll let you pass. I'm hungry." Renjun pouted before hugging him tight. His lover prepped kisses on his neck.

"Come on, Dr. Huang. It's bad to let our dinner wait."

They made out for five minutes, Renjun setting an alarm because they didn't want to be late on Jaemin's reservation. Jaemin carried his shoulder bag, they walked out his office with intertwined hands--of course, and a bouquet on Renjun's other hand. They smiled at the people on their way, saying their goodbyes to head off.

Their hands are playing on top of their table while the smiles are plastered to their lips. Telling their stories for the whole day, Renjun with his sessions, Jaemin with his studio. Jaemin booked a private room, it's their thing.

They liked the silence, so they could focus on each other. But when Donghyuck and Mark are around, there's no silence implied. After their dinner, they walked out hand in hand, on their way on Jaemin's car someone walked in.

"Dr. Huang Renjun.. ?"

Renjun wrinkled his forehead and spun around and saw one of his seniors he hates the most.

Talk about fucking timing.

"Oh.. Hello Dr. Choi.. " Renjun awkwardly smiled and bowed a little. He squeezes his lover's hand, he did the same, staring intently at the man.

"Hello! Hello! I haven't seen you today at the hospital? I came to your office earlier but your assistant said you're quite busy."

The man rudely pushed him too close to side hug him. He felt him blow in his ear. Renjun grimaced at the action.

Fucking pervert.

"Uh.. Excuse me, Mr. Choi…"

He harshly tugged his hold and found his man's waist to hold. Renjun glances at his boyfriend's face that is starting to darken. The man in front cleared his throat.

"So, are you going to accept the offer Dr. Huang?" The older man smiled at him, not minding that he's clinging to someone.

“Dr. Choi, I will only answer you if I’m in the office. Please, excuse us.” Renjun said, averting his eyes and tugged Jaemin’s hand that was still looking at him darkly.

“Dr. Huang, how about we have dinner--” the Doctor said drunkenly, he smelled so much alcohol that Renjun can’t help but to grimace.

He got cut off by Jaemin.

“We are done eating, Dr. Choi.” his boyfriend said. Again, the Doctor did not pay him attention and was clearly looking at Renjun. He was about to hold his hand again when Jaemin jerked it away.

“Hands off!” Jaemin shouted and glared at the man.

Renjun leaned on his chest. Jamin’s voice was loud, the guard approached them, “Is everything okay here? Sir?”

“That damn Doctor was forcing and kept on touching my boyfriend.” Jaemin spats. Renjun immediately hugged his waist and forced him to look at him.

“Hey, I’m okay. He’s drunk. Let’s just go.”

Jaemin nodded and looked at the Doctor one last time. He sent a warning.

Jaemin leans on his table and watches in amusement as the man’s hands were tied up in the back chair, a soft cloth engulfing his mouth, stirring from his sleep. He panicky tries to tug his hands, useless of doing so, he whips his head left and right and to his front, to meet the man’s smile.

The man screams through the cloth, muffling words Jaemin can't comprehend, he rolled his eyes and puffs and walked forward to remove the cloth.

“What… You! What am I doing here!? Let me go! What do you want from me?!”

Jaemin softly giggles,”You’re kinda mean, Dr…what’s your name again? Ah yes, Choi. Dr. Choi.”

“Why do you know my name!? Who are you?!”

Jaemin crosses his arms on his chest and tilts his head, “Are you that fucking old that you can’t even recognize?”

The man did not answer as he was still busy trying to untie his rigorous tied hands. He was breathing heavily while watching him in fear.

“Ah yes, you can’t remember me because you were busy touching my boyfriend.” Jaemin spats.

The man gave him a confused look,”Who? What are you fucking talking about!? Let me go! I’ll report you to the police! Are you crazy?!”

Jaemin smiles, “Oh, I am.”

“Fucking psycho!”

Jaemin’s smile falters as he watches him in narrowed eyes, he slowly turns around to find his specific sharpobject for tonight.

"Thanks for reminding me," Jaemin whispered.

“You know in the couple of months of my baby ranting about how you annoys him.. I paid no attention as he clearly said that you’re one of the respecte doctors in your field..”

Jaemin raised and caressed his silver razer blade before slowly turned around, he saw red in the Doctor’s eyes.

“But these past few weeks, I saw your messages in my baby’s inbox sending him disgusting pictures, hm? You even said, ‘Your boyfriend won’t know’ well guess what? Renjun never hides anything from me.”

Jaemin took steps forward as the man tried to wiggle, he raised his blade and pierced it on his skin, the man screamed in pain.

“These dirty hands kept on fucking touching my man’s soft and milky skin. You’re really disgusting.”

“Please! Please! I’m sorry.. Fuck.. f-fuck…”

He gripped his hair to look down, to watch how Jaemin cut his skin with the blade deeply, blood dripping on the concrete floor. Jaemin smiles as his screams grow louder and he sees tears in his face. He dragged the blade deeply across his arms all up near his collarbones.

"I won't do it again! Please! Please… let me go… fuck! Fuck! ... stop it.."

"Let you go? Hm, no.”

The man cried louder and Jaemin gripped his head tightly to look at him in the face this time.

“I sent you a warning, didn't I? My patience isn't very good. Last words?”

The man was breathing heavily but tried to collect his word. He spit blood on Jaemin’s face causing him to close his eyes for a bit.

“You.. You’re crazy! You don’t deserve to be Renjun’s man! Crazy! Crazy! You can’t be with him!”

Jaemin smiled and he let go of the blade, reaching something behind his pocket, “If I can’t have Renjun, then no one can.”

Jaemin stabs his pointy silver knife directly in his mouth.

“What?!”

Jaemin stopped playing with the little girl in his lap when Renjun beside him gasped in horror. Minjee startled and was about to cry when Jaemin shakes her again to make funny faces to distract her.

“What do you mean by that? Please, stop joking. It’s not funny.” Renjun said shakily. Jaemin reached a hand to massage the side hip of his boyfriend.

“I may not like him but I never wish for him to be killed by that. Oh my God, did they trace the killer already?” Renjun stood up away from Jaemin, he paced back and forth, eyes full of worry.

Jaemin’s ears instantly listen attentively, his eyes not leaving his boyfriend, his hands trying to play with the baby girl.

Lame. Took them five days to find out.

“Okay, just update me. I’ll try to visit if I have time.”

Renjun ended the call and averted his gaze, he tried to sit far away from Jaemin, he was still holding his phone, eyes not leaving the floor, clearly in deep thoughts.

“Renjun,”

“Hm?”

“I’m here.” Jaemin said sternly, Renjun looked at him in an instant.

“Uh, yeah. Of course,” Renjun tried to take Minjee in his arms but Jaemin was still looking at him so Renjun gave him a stiff smile.

“Who’s that?”

Renjun sighed because it was no use to hide anything from his lover.

“It;s just.. My assistant called me to say that..” Renjun met his eyes for the first time, “Dr. Choi was found in the alley all tied up with stabs all over his arms and.. face.”

Jaemin did not answer and just leaned in to kiss the side of his head.

“Minjee doesn’t want his Uncle to be stressed and she wants to sit on your lap.”

Renjun chuckled and Minjee giggled because she heard her name, so the baby girl took over Renjun’s mind as she started to mumble baby words to entertain his Uncle.

"Jun? Jun…. Jun!" she giggles while tilting her head, looking at him directly.

"Minjee, it's Uncle Renjun! Ren-jun, un-cle, come on say it again, Un.. Cle.. Ren.. Jun.. "

But the latter only smiles sheepishly as she reaches for her milk bottle once again. He pouts, "You keep on drinking milk that's why you're fat and cute. Uncle Renjun loves you so much, but say Uncle Renjun again!"

The man beside him kissed his cheek again, and leaned forward to squash Minjee's bloated cheeks.

"You know that she still can barely pronounce words right?"

"But I'm her favorite Uncle! She should be pronouncing my name as well!"

"Hey, I'm her Uncle too."

"I'm her Papa's best friend! So I'm the favorite Uncle. Don't argue with me!" He glared at him before gathering Minjee in his arms, holding the bottle to help her drink her milk. Renjun was smiling brightly while making funny faces to entertain his favorite kid.

"Can you let go of my waist? I'm busy lulling her to sleep. Stop touching me!"

"But I want to touch you," he pouted.

"You were busy ravishing my body last night, Jaemin."

"But you loved it." he poked his side and received a glare from his lover again.

"Let me go! I'll burp her so she can sleep."

"Sweetheart, she's literally smiling so brightly right now. She's not in the mood for sleep."

Renjun just stuck his tongue out and Jaemin was about to suck it when his boyfriend's phone lit up, signalling for a video call from Donghyuck. Jaemin outstretches to answer.

"WHERE'S MY CHILD?!"

Jaemin grimaced at the loudness of his voice, he could see on the screen that Mark was laughing on his side, they're on a car. Probably on their way to fetch their baby girl.

"Well, hello there, Hyuckie."

"Jaemin, I don’t care about your face! And please, I can see your boyfriend brushing his face to my daughter! Renjun! You're going to give her skin rashes!"

Renjun, who's on the back of Jaemin, busy milking Minhee, sends him a teasing look. He moved to his side.

"You're not here so she's basically my daughter for now. And my face is clean, excuse me."

Minhee glances at the screen, she throws her bottle and raises her hands, "Papa!"

Donghyuck cooed, "Minjee, yes! It's papa… hey Jaem, let her see me close… there… my baby, you miss papa? Here's Daddy driving! We're on our way, baby. Oh my, you look very cheeky right now.. "

Renjun and Jaemin shared a glance at each other before bursting into laughter on how Donghyuck manages to make Minjee dance in Renjun's arms.

"Hey Hyuck, I'll order food so both of you can rest for a while here. I know you let Mark drive all along the way here." Jaemin interrupted.

"Mark said he won't let me drive! And jokes on you, Mr. Na. You would do the same for the love of your life." Donghyuck made a vomit sound that caused Mark to scold him.

Jaemin glances at the sight beside him, Renjun carrying Minjee in his arms, talking in baby languages, while the latter was beaming because of funny faces from the Doctor.

"Yeah.. I would do anything for him."

"Ew, I'm done seeing your heart eyes for Renjun. Both of you are disgusting, but cute, but whatever!"

"You said that when you literally made us babysat Minjee so you can activate your sex life for three days."

"You're just lucky that Renjun lets you activate yours every night." Donghyuck rolled his eyes at him and glared at his husband on his side.

"Because he loves me." Jaemin stuck his tongue out.

"Can you guys stop talking about your sex lives? I have Minjee here, duh." Renjun shaked his head.

"They're still in the process of building their lifetime friendship, anyways we'll be there in ten minutes. Thank you for taking care of our little angel, Jaemin, Renjun."

They bid goodbyes after Donghyuck sent kiss noises for his child, ignoring his two friends who're in disgust. Renjun lets Jaemin hold Minjee while he is busy calling for their takeout and arranging their kitchen and dining table. He saw his lover cooing Minjee in his arms and later on put her on her own feet and tried to let her take a few steps, Jaemin cheering on her. Renjun just shakes his, his lover really has a thing for cute ones. Their takeouts came first before Minjee’s parents so Renjun set out the dishes.

After finishing setting the food on the table, he heard their door open.

“Oh my! My baby Angel Minjee.. I missed you my baby! How’s my little sweet angel doing? Hm? Hm?”

Renjun internally cringes at his best friend's remarks to their daughter. He can see the four of them in the living room from the dining table. Mark and Donghyuck got married six months ago, two months after Renjun let Jaemin meet them at dinner. The couple decided to adopt, ofcourse. They got Minjee, the almost two year old baby three months ago and living their best life in their marriage. Renjun and Jaemin were there to babysat Minjee for them. Especially Renjun, seeing his best friend living his dream life with the man he wished for made him very proud and happy, they’ve been together since kindergarten. Renjun just wants the best for him because he’d been there for Renjun all along.

Renjun snapped from reality when he saw his boyfriend pushing Donghyuck’s face away from their daughter.

“Hey! Wash your face! You’re going to give her skin rashes!”

Donghyuck gasped and waved at Minjee. “Stop copying my lines! I’m sorry, baby. Papa will be back, hm?”

Mark just caressed his husband’s waist before stepping forward to take Minjee, “Hey, angel. Did you miss Daddy? You look very healthy, Uncle Renjun and Uncle Jaemin really spoils you hm?”

Jaemin chuckled, “Renjun kept on giving her treats every 30 minutes. He said he’ll break up with me if I will try to stop him.”

Donghyuck appeared in front of him before he could reply to his lover’s teasing, face wet, asking for a towel.

“Gross. Hyuck. Stop appearing in front of me with your face looking like that!”

“What? This is me and water on my face! Not Jaemin with your--”

Renjun threw the tissue roll on his face, “Learn how to filter words!”

“Whatever. Omg? You got me my favorite!” Donghyuck clapped his hands and eyed the dakgalbi. He hugged Renjun’s side, “Love you, bff.”

“Get off me, Hyuck.” he pushes him and ruffles his hair. Donghyuck sat on the chair and gave him a teasing look.

“What?”

“That’s awfully domestic? It’s sweet.”

“What is it this time?”

“I mean, we walked in to see you arranging the table and Jaemin playing with Minjee. That actually screams, ‘you can settle down!’” Donghyuck said with quotation marks using his hands.

Renjun formed his lips to answer but he took a glance to his lover’s way with Minjee in Mark’s arms. Jaemin has his hands on his pocket sweats while conversing with Mark but his eyes are on Minjee.

“I.. I don’t think Jaemin wants a child..” Renjun trailed off, he fidgets with his sweater paws.

They really haven’t talked about settling down. Although their actions on their relationship were really solid that no one can even interfere. Jaemin always looks out for him, by massaging his tensed muscles after work, being the one who cooks dinner if Renjun can’t be home early, doing household chores even though he has work in his studio too, and the one and only man who holds Renjun at night, kissing him and telling him how much he loves Renjun. And he does the same, Renjun always reminding Jaemin that if he wants to pursue his talent in photography, then he should go for it. Because lately, Jaemin has this insecurity of not making more money for the both of them and Renjun kissed him and assured him that it’s fine and he wants Jaemin to do what he really wants to do. And ofcourse, Renjun reminding his lover to not forget to take his daily medicine.

He heard Donghyuck laugh in a snarky way, “Renjun, my darling. Did you see your boyfriend’s messages to me?”

Renjun knows his passcode of course, and Jaemin does too. But Renjun doesn’t have time to check his phone. It’s only Jaemin who checks his phone every night, and he just lets him, Renjun doesn’t want to deal with paranoid Jaemin. That needs a lot of work. A paranoid Jaemin needs hardcore sex, assuring words, I love you’s, and a neuroleptic drug.

Renjun took a lot of shit before releasing Jaemin. Well, letting your serial killer patient--lover escape the asylum does have a lot of work. Erasing the cctv footages and burning his files were in the category.

After months of being together, Renjun noticed Jaemin developing bipolar disorder. Jaemin came home after working for a whole day, he was in a foul mood and could barely look at Renjun, he kept on throwing things, hurting himself, screaming, and Renjun was close to inject lithium to his lover but then he was surprised to see him crying in the bathroom, saying he killed his family and he needs Renjun to leave him as soon as possible before he can kill him too. But Renjun kneeled down and kissed him alright, saying his sweetest "I love you, I'm not going anywhere. I'm here, baby." They had sex with their clothes soaked from the shower. Jaemin kept on showing symptoms of the said disorder and that’s how Renjun decided to let him do all the things he wants.

If Jaemin wants to fetch him from work, he will. If Jaemin wants to show the world who Renjun belongs to, he will. If he wants to wrap his hand on his thighs or waist for everyone to see, he will. If Jaemin wants to check his phone, he will. Renjun always complies to keep Jaemin sane.

“I don’t really check his phone regularly...”

Donghyuck rolled his eyes and reached for his phone, he scrolled and let Renjun read some of his lover’s messages.

From: Annoying Jaemin

Hey hyuck, is it okay if i’ll buy this for Minjee?

Then he sent a photo of small flowery shoes that really fit for her.

Hyuck, can we get Minjee for a day? Let me see her cute face! Renjun and I miss her already.

Hey choco bear, I bought cute dresses for Minjee.

Hey, let me see Minjee. :((

I will not bother you if you let me see Minjee right now.

Open the door. I’m outside, bought some things for Minjee. Hurry.

Can I see Minjee? :(

“He said he chose to bother me because Mark is his good friend and I’m the one who tries to steal his cute boyfriend. I mean, what the hell?”

Renjun chuckles and returns the phone, “Well, he likes Minjee.”

“Hm, and you said he doesn’t want a child?” Donghyuck gave him a narrowed look. Renjun gulped.

“I.. I.. We'll get married first, and definitely would talk about that matter.”

Donghyuck’s eyes soften and lips turn into soft smiles, he squeezed Renjun’s hand, “You know, I’m thankful for Jaemin because he makes you happy,”

“I’m happy that you’re with the man who’s not stopping you from doing what you want.”

Renjun also smiles, “Jaemin is really clingy, but he never stops me from doing anything I want to, he’s just there, to support me, and watch me. And I’m really grateful to have him. I really love him, Hyuck.”

“I can see that. Only one year and you're ready to settle down. We took five years.” Donghyuck winks at him.

“We haven’t really talked about it, but I can sense it. I won’t settle down with anyone but Jaemin. I want you to be there, you hear me?”

“Don’t try me, Huang. I’ll be there to wipe off your tears. Jaemin really loves you too.”

“He does. He loves me and he needs me.”

Donghyuck raises a brow and clears his throat, “Uhm.. he doesn’t love you because he needs you, right?”

Renjun shakes his head in a heartbeat, as if to convince him, “Jaemin loves me, Hyuck. Not because he needs me. He loves and embraces the way I am.”

“Sometimes, I wonder if Jaemin casts a spell on you, seeing you so in love like this makes me shiver.”

Renjun smacks his head, “Stop ruining the mood.”

“Seriously, I’m truly happy for you.”

“Hey, the food will be cold. Jun, is it okay if we eat now? I think little Minjee is hungry again.” Mark interrupted, bouncing his daughter a little. Jaemin looks at him.

Donghyuck gave him one last look before walking towards them. Renjun arranges the plate on each specific chair when he feels an arm hugging his waist from the back and a kiss on his cheekbone.

“Everything okay, sweetheart?”

Renjun turns and smiles, he places a soft kiss on his lips.

“Yes, of course.”

Jaemin keeps his eyes on him. Estimating each other’s gazes until Jaemin breaks it and kisses the tip of his nose, “Later?”

“Later.”

Renjun rests his back on the headboard of the bed, reading his book while waiting for his dreams to pull him in his sleep. The Lee family already left four hours ago, with Renjun saying his dramatical wave for the baby girl and his boyfriend who doesn't want the baby girl to leave.

“Let go of Minjee’s foot!” Donghyuck scowled.

“I was just caressing it!” Jaemin shouted back and pouted. Renjun just laughed and circled his arms on his sulking lover.

“Well see her again, babe.”

Mark and Donghyuck waved including their baby girl. They looked as their car vanished onto the street. Jaemin turned to look at him, still with a pout on his lips.

“They took our baby away.”

Renjun poked his nose, “Let’s go inside, big baby.”

Their bathroom door closes and Jaemin walks in with his gray sweatpants, brushing towels on his wet hair and he carefully lays on top of Renjun, not minding his book, he relaxes his head on Renjun’s chest. Renjun lets him as he tries to read the paragraph again when his lover talks.

“Renjun,”

“Hm?”

“Are we going to get married?”

Renjun freezes at the question. As if destiny is playing with, he was just discussing it with Donghyuck earlier. He expected that Jaemin and him would talk about it soon but he didn’t expect it to be now.

“Do you want to?”

Jaemin lifts his head to look at him in the eyes, “I want us to get married and adopt a child too.”

Renjun hitches his breath, “I.. don’t think we can handle adopting a child now..”

Jaemin stays silent and Renjun waits for him to understand. He knows Jaemin will understand, he just needs to be patient. He caressed his lover’s face.

“I can’t handle it?”

There. Jaemin understands.

“We’ll work on you, hm? We always do.”

Renjun kisses him softly and Jaemin sighs into their kiss, but eventually breaks it.

“What do you think of adopting a dog?”

Jaemin raises his brows and chuckles, “I want a child and you suggest a dog. I hope you know the difference, Dr. Huang.”

“We can start step by step, darling. Let’s get your favorite kind of dog and we’ll take care of it first. Okay?”

Jaemin smiles and bowed his head to place kisses on the crook of his neck.

“I love you.”

Renjun smiles and kisses him good night.

Like what Renjun promised, he got Jaemin a dog.

Jaemin loves it.

“Baby, this looks good, can we get him this? Please? Please?”

Renjun puts down the dog dress he saw and turns to his boyfriend to see him beaming while handling the flowery dog shoes, his other hand, carrying their newbaby.

“Jaemin, what’s that?” he looked at him confusedly.

His boyfriend pouts, “It’s shoes, obviously! So his paws won’t get dirty if we walk him outside.”

“Darling, isn't it uncomfortable for him to wear that?”

Jaemin shakes his head in an instant, “Absolutely not. Nana, you like this?”

Renjun clearly did not wait to hear an answer but he saw their samoyed puppy smells the shoes and looked at Jaemin cutely. Jaemin cooed.

“See? He loves it!”

“It has flowery design.” Renjun stated.

“Hey, man can wear pink, so dogs can wear flowery things.”

Renjun can’t help it anymore, he laughs and snickers before pecking on his lips, he takes hold of Nana in his arms before nodding at his lover.

“Alright, whatever you want.”

“You’re the best. Love you,” he sent a flying kiss before patting the puppy’s head. “I’ll be back, you stay with my baby number one first, okay?” Jaemin winks at him before heading to the counter with tons of toys and everything for their dog.

Renjun sighs and looks at the dog in his arms. He isn’t fond of dogs, he’s a cat person because of his parents that were used to home stray cats. But his lover wants a samoyed puppy, so the very understanding boyfriend that Renjun is, he agrees.

The puppy is looking at him curiously, open mouthed with his tongue dangling on the side.

“I don’t like dogs..” he said and the puppy blinks his eyes, still curiously looking at him.

“My boyfriend loves you already..” the puppy lets out a soft whims, leans up to try licking Renjun’s face.

Renjun sighs again, after the puppy licks his face. He pats his head with a strained smile. “Just make Jaemin happy, okay? And we’re good.”

“Baby, I’m done. Oh! You two were talking?”

Jaemin approached them with two big paper bags in his one hand. He pats the puppy’s head before encircling his arm on Renjun’s waist to guide them outside.

“I’m the one talking because he can’t clearly talk, Jaem.”

“I’ll make him talk, just watch me.”

“Ugh, give me a break.”

Jaemin only laughs and kisses the side of his head. He opens the front seat for Renjun with Nana in his arms, then puts the bags on the back seat of the car before walking towards his seat. After closing the door, Renjun notices his mood shifts.

“You’re happy.” he stated.

His boyfriend flashes his smile and nods his head, “I am. You’re here with me.”

“I’ll always be, just for you.”

As days went by, Renjun noticed Jaemin was in a satisfied mood. After the arrival of Nana--their samoyed puppy, Jaemin can't keep his hands to himself.

He kept on caressing Nana, even talking to him and asking the dog if he was hungry. They even video called Donghyuck to let Minjee see their dog.

"Minjee-ah! This is our baby, Nana!" Jaemin faced the screen to their dog who was curiously looking at the screen. They heard Minjee laugh.

Donghyuck was surprised, of course. Knowing his best friend, Renjun can't even have eye contact with dogs. And his best friend saw him in his living room petting a dog when Donghyuck visited him.

"What the fuck is happening? You even said before that my dog looked like an old man! He's shih tzu!" Donghyuck said while keeping his sleeves away from Nana's mouth.

Renjun shrugged, "Jaemin likes him."

Donghyuck raised his brows, "You want a child, you said Jaemin doesn't want one. Jaemin wants a dog, you don't like it, but.. you gave it to him? Seriously?"

Renjun sighed and took Nana away from him, he grew to love this dog. Seeing how Jaemin cares for their baby, he lets himself fall too. Going home after work, he always sees Nana wagging his tail, barking from excitement of Renjun going home, his lover on the dining table already waiting and smiling at him.

"Dinner's ready, baby. Let's eat?"

Renjun looked at Donghyuck who was already waiting for an answer.

"It's just a dog, Hyuck. Not a big deal."

Donghyuck kept his eyes but chose not to answer, he plopped down on the couch to watch the video playing on the television.

Renjun looked at Nana on his lap, he was licking his paws and then looked back at him, Nana reached up to his face to lick him. He softly chuckled.

Jaemin came home from work, he dropped his shoulder bag on the couch and plopped down beside it, massaging his temple. Renjun looked at him confused.

"Baby, Nana's waiting for your attention."

Renjun tried as their dog was on Jaemin's feet, biting his socks, trying to pull them out, while wagging his tail.

"I'm not in the mood." Jaemin said in a deep groggy voice. He was still massaging his temple and closing his eyes. Renjun was about to cuddle him when Jaemin kicked Nana.

"Get the fuck away from me!" Jaemin shouted.

Renjun widens his eyes as he sees Nana whimpering, clearly in pain.

"Hey!" Renjun said he immediately crouched down to take Nana in his arms, the dog leaning to him. He caressed him. Renjun looked at Jaemin who freezes in his spot, eyes on his favorite dog.

"You don't need to hurt him." Renjun said.

Jaemin swallowed and tried to walk towards him but Renjun felt his lover's hesitation.

"I'm.. I'm sorry, I'm just really tired.. " Jaemin looked down at his hand.

This is Jaemin's body language when he's guilty of doing something. Looking down, not wanting to meet Renjun's eyes.

"Jaemin,"

Jaemin looked up.

"Do you still take your medicines?"

Renjun just wanted to ask, to be sure.

"I.. Yes, of course."

Renjun did not answer.

For the first time they slept, that night, Nana was not on their bed.

One week later, Jaemin killed Nana.

Renjun came home from work, he expected Jaemin and their dog playing inside. His lover texted him that he'll be home early because Nana was alone.

"Jaemin? Sweetheart? I'm home.. "

Renjun trailed off as no samoyed greeted him at the door. Renjun looked at their kitchen and he felt cold water washing him from head to toe.

There's blood scattered on the floor.

His lover, Jaemin, huddled with his knees on his chest, keeping his sniffle as he was gripping the knife with blood tightly.

Renjun shifts his gaze to see their white--now covered in blood samoyed--on the floor.

Not moving.

Stabs all over the dog's body.

"Jaemin… "

Renjun's voice cracked as he swallowed the lump on his throat. He was trying to process the scene in front of him. Renjun tried to keep his veins rushing inside, as he felt throwing up because of the sight.

"What did you do… " Renjun whispers.

Jaemin was covered in blood too, including his face, and red in his eyes as tears kept on flowing out.

"I'm… I'm sorry.. He was so loud! He kept on barking! So.. I.. I tried to stop him but he tried to bite! He tried to hurt me so… so I grabbed this to stop him from hurting me.. "

Jaemin cried harder and gripped his hair, still holding the bloody knife. He shakes his head firmly.

"I'm sorry.. I'm sorry.. I'm sorry.. " he chanted softly.

Renjun carefully kneels down on Nana's side. He looked at the bloody dog.

The dog he grew to love, the cheeky dog who always tries to play with him that Renjun's stress went away. Renjun felt tears rolling on his cheeks.

"I'm sorry.. He was just so loud.. I'm sorry.. "

He heard Jaemin whispering. Renjun closed his eyes. And then he looked at his lover, blaming himself.

"It's okay… it's not your fault.. " Renjun tried to soothe him but his lover just shook his head.

Renjun looked around, reaching for the black plastic bag near the counter table. He carefully lifted the dog's body to put it inside the bag. After doing so, he walks towards the side where the collection of boxes was placed. He searches for one and grabs it.

He put the plastic bag inside the box and tape it tightly. He tapes the box with tears on his face and hands shaking from what had happened. He set the bag near their front door, to remind him that Renjun needed to dispose of it late at night, when everyone from the neighborhood was asleep. The blood was still on the floor, Renjun needed to fix it too.

He then turned around to see his lover still in his position, mumbling apologies. Renjun stepped close.

"Jaemin.. Baby.."

Jaemin slowly raised his head to look at him.

"Don't come closer.. I.. I might kill you too.. I'm holding a knife.. Don't come close…" Jaemin said.

Renjun felt his heart broken a while ago, but he felt his heart crashed at what Jaemin had said.

"You're not going to hurt me, Jaem.. "

"How are you sure?"

"You love me,"

"I loved our dog too! But I killed him! I loved Nana too!" Jaemin shouted.

Renjun took a step closer.

"But you love me the most.. " Renjun tried again, Jaemin did not answer as he was watching Renjun trying to reach him.

"You could never hurt me, Jaemin. Just give me the knife and I'll kiss you, hm? I'll kiss you alright, baby. Come on.. "

Jaemin sniffs and slowly hands him the knife, after doing so, Renjun throws it away from the both of them and pulls Jaemin for embrace.

Jaemin broke down, crying so loud that it pierced around the four corners of their house. Renjun gathered himself to not break down, his lover needed him. Jaemin needs him.

After soothing his lover, he backed away to wipe the blood on his face, "Head to the bathroom, baby. We'll shower together. I'll just clean this real quick."

Jaemin nodded and walked away. Renjun looked for a nice cloth to wipe the blood on the floor.

He scraped the floor hardly with bleach, took his time to cry his tears, for something was throbbing in his inside.

His lover killed their dog. Renjun needed to process it as soon as possible because he needs to throw the dog's body, and his lover needs shower. To wash away everything.

After cleaning everything in the kitchen, where it all happened, Renjun joins his lover in the bathroom.

He saw Jaemin inside the bathtub, water overflowing, his lover scraping the blood away using the scrub, Renjun reached for the shampoo, running it through his hair, he heard Jaemin breath out a sigh. Renjun kissed him softly on the lips.

"I'm sorry.. "

"It's okay, it's not your fault."

"I was just trying to shut him up.."

"It's okay, I understand."

Renjun kissed his everything, his chest, his nape, his cheeks, his forehead. Renjun rinsed him clean, whispering I love you's all over Jaemin's body.

After showering, He walks toward Jaemin who was already tucked in bed. He handed him a pill and glass of water.

"You forgot to take your vitamin." Renjun said softly.

It's not a vitamin. But, Jaemin takes it.

"Renjun,"

"Hm?"

"I love you. I love you so much."

Silence.

"I.. I love you too, Darling."

"I love you so much, you need to know that."

Renjun headed to their bathroom and locked it after seeing Jaemin sleeping calm and soundly. Renjun tried to keep his cries as he let out all the things that he didn't want to keep inside. He felt his phone vibrated, with shaky hands, he reached for it.

From: Hyuckie

Minjee misses you, especially his Uncle Jaemin. We can go there after lunch tomorrow?

Tears rolling down his cheeks as he softly shakes his head as if Donghyuck can see him. Catching his breath as he tries everything to keep it not so loud. He can't bear to deal with Jaemin if he wakes up. He's tired of cleaning everything tonight.

I'm sorry, Hyuck. Maybe next time.

part 2 of crazed until death

🍄: i too hope the author can upload part 3