"As you know by now, I lost my mate a few years back. Loosing her and our child really screwed me up. I was a mess, a broken man going through the motions for years. One night our Goddess came into my dreams and told me that she would give me a second chance at happiness one day and to get ready. Of course I thought that her visit was something my mind made up after drinking heavily the night before. As the years went by, I forgot about that dream until she visited again, only this time I was sober when she came. 

She told me that the time was near. I was confused to tell you the truth and even though deep inside I was expecting your arrival, I still wasn't ready to leave her memory go. Imagine my surprise when a shewolf arrived a few days later and for the first time in years my wolf felt alive. During your initiation I felt something like sparks but I wasn't sure if it was true and I was afraid to find out. 

You can call me a coward but for the next two years I avoided you. Or so you thought, because I made it my business  to learn things about you. How you were doing at school, if you had any friends, if you were adjusting to your new life. Some nights I felt a calling that drove me deep in the forest where I saw a majestic silver wolf. I was admiring you from afar, not knowing that it was you, but your presence made me feel alive. 

After Alpha Smith's visit a year ago, I realized that my fear only drove you further away. I was sure that I was your mate by that time, I held you in my arms for hours after you collapsed and the sparks were everywhere. I was so ecstatic, but you were broken like I was and needed time to heal. I had a choice  to make, push a bond, that you didn't acknowledged at the time, down your throat or be there for you as friend.  I chose to give what you needed most, someone to trust, to count on and hoped that one day you would be ready to feel the same way I feel. 

Your wolf connected with me first, she was ready to move on with her life but you were still stuck on the past. So I waited, falling in love with you bit by bit every day. With every smile, every laugh you gave me I felt like the luckiest man alive. I was tough with you at the beginning, but only to make sure that you can be the best version of yourself. I tried, really tried to make you notice me even without the bond, but my dear Alex, you were so focused that you missed all the signs.

 I took a step towards her and I was ecstatic to find out that she let me hug her. Still rooted in place not saying a word she made me so nervous but at the same time she gave me the strength I needed to continue with my truth. 

"I must admit that I hid some things from you but at the time I really thought it was for the best. I know that I'm in no position to make requests but I really hope that you give us a chance. Take all the time you need and think about me and you. " 

While I waited for her answer I felt like I was free falling. She was looking at me and I could see the wheels of her mind turning but still not a word. She slowly moved away from me and with every step my hope faltered. She had a sad look on her eyes and I prepared my self for the worst. Would she reject me?

"This is too much. I need to process  that fact that once again a man in my life hid vital parts concerning my life. Even if I accept the fact that for two years you treated me like I didn't exist because of your fear what about the last year? You had plenty of opportunities to talk to me Xander. I have opened my heart to you but you never showed me the same courtesy. Trust goes both ways Xander and you had none for me. I need some time. I was going to bring this up later tonight, but I finally found Maria Fernandez and I plan to pay her a visit. We will talk again when I come back".

She walked out of my office and left me alone to drown in my thoughts. She asked for time and I was prepared to  give her as much as she needed.