Le POV di kami-sama aka da author (yes today the author is not in her priest mode but she's in her god-mode

"Someone... D-Do something!" Sting cried out as he watched his brother struggle in vain. A few more seconds and he'd be done for.

"I'll try cut him down or something!" Erza could not let her childhood crush simply die.

Yet crack ships cuz the author is shoving a strap-on in a recently dead Jellas asshole. He's in heaven with me bitches.

Anyways...

"Ice-Make...?" Gray had his fist placed on his other palm. However he no idea what to make. A giant block of ice to stand on perhaps. Although here he was trying to save someone who nearly killed him and his family. Caused another revolution in his nation. Hurt his brother. And his Natsu. Gray muttered a few words before a giant block of ice shot from the ground.

"What...?" For once Rogue had nothing intelligent to say.

"Mavis' great buttocks! What the fuck?" Sting cried out.

"Now that's just messed up." Gray looked over at his husband and grinned. Natsu simply shook his head in bafflement and slight amusement.

Well young readers. You see this giant block of ice was fashioned to be a certain shape. The tip was curvier than it was supposed to be. It was supposed to be a straight so Cobra could stand on it.

But, Gray had just made the biggest ice sculpture of a penis.

And since Cobra could not stand on it he was forced to sit at the tip. The end prodding his asshole. Causing him to have the most pissed expression ever made by any straight man.

"Well then, I would cut him down but... Does anyone have a camera?" Erza asked. Sorry, but for Erza, seeing Cobra being analed by a giant ice dick. Well...

"I do." Levy breathed out as her inner fujoushi took over once again.

"LEVIII!" Gajeel screamed out. Everyone looked back silently.

"Do I look like a hot, short, Titan-slayer." She muttered. (You do look short£

"Listen here, ya shit-heads!" Gajeel whispered menacingly. "I don't care if he dies now or later. He's going to end up dying today right after I kill him. FYI, there's no possible way of breaking that chain around his neck. So to put it simply, if I break that 'dick', the other dick will die. Understood? Now can someone explain to me, why Lisanna is a man called Natsu?" He seemed beyond pissed. So Natsu decided to say something.

"Ah, well. It's a really long story. But you don't seem to have a life so I'll take my time to explain my life story." Natsu exclaimed. Gajeel kissed his teeth and waved his hand to indicate he should begin his story.

"Well it all began when Mavis created the world along time ago. She created the earth and-" Natsu was cut off by literally everyone.

"Don't start from the actual beginning! And wrong fanfic!"

(Yes there goes me advertising my own fics)

"Fine long story short- my dad lost a bet. My whole life, I was forced into being a girl. Seriously as a kid I had gender identity issues since I kept dressing as a girl. Man it was so hard for me-" he was once again interrupted.

"Bae, fuck... Thanks for fucking being so fucking open for the first fucking time in your whole fucking life. Fuck, now ain't the fucking time..." Gray whispered loudly to Natsu.

It was true though. Now was not the time for Natsu to tell us about his personal problems. If he had so much problems as a kid. He should probably book an appointment with the head priest- Sasu-sama. He's a real great person.

"Urgh, fine! Anyways. I met you as a FEMALE. Since I was supposed to come to good terms with you. For alliance purposes. But then something happened. We became enemies. And my country pillaged and struck a one sided war on this country along with the Lightening Nation. So that's why we broke up."

"What a wonderful story. One to tell the kids..." Rogue muttered sarcastically causing Sting to stifle a laugh. Natsu noticed Gray grinning and chanting "stingue" under his breath.

"I see. So that's how it is." Gajeel placed his chin over a clenched fist and eyed Natsu up and down. Analysing him to see if he was lying.

"Sorry to interrupt but that thing you're staring at, is a special item of MY possession... So do you mind staring at him like you want him in your bed?" Gray said. Well Gray processed Gajeels staring as something completely wrong.

"Erm-" Gajeel began however Laxus and Freed walked in through the large door before he could respond with an oh-so-sassy remark.

"Why do you have a bag of potatoes?" Sting asked. Laxus seemed to have a large bag slung over on shoulder. But forget that. You should of seen the way Freed was eyeing Laxus.

Laxus' eyes glazed over to the blonde half-wit only to scrutinise him for a few minutes. Freed was jealous.

"Hm. You must be the son of the Fire Nations general. Also Cobras brother."

"Yep still up here..." Cobra said to himself.

"Yeah and you're the fallen emperor Laxus right?"

"Yes." He said stiffly. "And for your information this isn't a bag. It's-" The bag began to move and wriggle under Laxus' muscle-y arms. Something inside, a hand, began feeling up them muscles. Before plopping down for the floor and making quite an entrance.

"It is I, The Great Priest." The priest exclaimed with harms wide open, looking up to the heavens dramatically.

"What on earth is my other crush doing here?" Yes Erza is also in love with the author...

"You told us to bring him here to marry someone?" Freed asked questioningly. Freed was Laxus' right hand man and went every where with him and he obviously had a crush. Even a blind man could see that.

The Priest eyed Gajeel and Levy who were right next to each other.

"I am so sorry but these days I don't marry straight couples. It's a faze you see. I probably will be out of it next month. How's about I make ya an appointments in a months time, ei?" That was way too cherry. Did he not realise he was kidnapped?

"Ooo. Who shall be bestowed the honour of marriage? I love weddings!" Rogue yelled out. His fists clenched in the air, shaking from joy. A mad grin plastered on his face as he eagerly waited for an answer.

"There's his gay side!" Erza whispered loud enough everyone could hear.

"Yeah. About that... I don't think I wanna get married to someone who looks so dead and dull. With a serious personality problem. Also let me add: he's a dude and I'm straight!" Gajeel simply said with a sad sigh. Levy gave him a reassuring pat to the arm and a content smile.

"Hey. I wanna get married to that emo kid over there. When can I book an appointment?" Sting asked as he shuffled closer to the priest.

"Oh, you wanna get married to Rogue?"

"Yeah!" Sting said sheepishly.

"Oh that's so cute!" The Priest jumped up and down from joy.

"Ya really think so?" Sting grinned.

"Erm, Sting, I do not think-"

"Hey Rogue, this is an A and B conversation. C yourself out of it!" The priest yelled out, scolding Rogue. "Anyways, any ideas for where the wedding is taking place. I recommend Torino, that Island resort."

"Ain't that were we had our horny-moon?" Natsu muttered under his breath.

"Okay listen here, morons. Before we lose track of things like we always do. I think we should make a compromise."

"And what do you propose?" All attention was on the Gray. He gulped before taking a big breath.

Author: serious mode on! (I'll try)

"You know how bad it is out there. People are starving and little kiddies are dying. You should forget about trying to get back Lisanna cuz Lisanna has an obsession with my fine ass. You should try saving your country. You too, Laxus." Laxus looked down at his feet with a solemn expression. "Yeah sure, the Fire and Ice Nations are the cause of it. But when I rule, I won't let any of this shit happen again. Imma help y'all and try save everyone. Cuz imma be da best emperor dis world has ever seen!"

Natsu looked over at Gray. He never knew Gray could be so... He didn't know what, but something inside him was stirring.

"That last statement could be argued. But he is right. We should help each other not fight each other or kidnap each other." Natsu stated. Gray simply grinned at his Husbando and Natsu smiled back. And that shocked Gray a whole load. His heart skipped like ten beats so he felt a little faint.

"Has anyone realised I'm tad bit uncomfortable!" Cobra screeched between clenched teeth. Erza looked up and took a few pics with Levy's camera.

Gajeel stuck out his hand and the chain around Cobra's throat broke and fell to the floor. Cobra simply jumped off and glared at Gray.

"Fine." Gajeel simply stated. "No fight cuz I don't think Kami-sama wants to write a fight scene. Let's make this the shittiest ending to a story! Cuz this is probably a comedy. Let's end this weirdly."

"So let's all be friends, in this world called FairyTail. I'm all fired up to save everyone!" Natsu shouted out.

***

A/N: Sorry for the late update.

Anyways this story is coming to an end since all that's left is I don't even know

Anyways ta ta for now.