10/6/2015

                                                                    The Old Me 

Symphony

I sat on the floor rubbing Diva's stomach, Cain had to leave and I was left all alone. The loft was to quiet and my mind was wondering. Every sound had me jumping and checking all the locks on my door. I was getting so use to him being here that I found it hard  to let him leave. "Are you sure you have to go?" I followed him to the door, my heart was secretly begging him not to go. 

"It won't take long. Come here." He pulled back the curtains and pointed towards a car parked outside. "That is my friend Jazz, he works for me." He felt in his pocket and pulled out a gold bracelet and handed it to me. "If you need anything push the gem on top and he'll come running." 

"I don't need a babysitter Cain, I can take care of myself." I tossed the bracelet on the counter, he was treating me like a kid. 

"I never said you couldn't." 

"Good, because I can." No I can't my mind was screaming.  

"But i know your scared about being alone." 

"I'm not scared. If you want to leave so bad than go." I walked over to the door and open it. Please don't go.  I said in my mind. "You don't have to come back tonight." I told him but my mind was still begging. please don't go. Picking up the bracelet he handed it to me and walked out.

That was almost two hours ago when he left.  Who does he think he is? Cain knows nothing about me to be trying to have people watch over me. I'm fine I have been doing fine on my own before he came into my life. I don't need him, I don't need anybody. I stood up and began folding the blankets that we had been sleeping under for the past two weeks. We had a routine he would drop me off at the studio and than go handle his business and than he would return and than we would come back home and I would make dinner for us and than we would talk until we both fell asleep on the floor. It was like camping out but indoors safe behind locked doors.  

My heart skipped a beep as my cell phone ranged. My mother's picture appeared on my screen she wanted to face time me but I wasn't ready for her to see me yet. So I declined her and called her back. "Hey mommy." I said as soon as she answered the phone. 

"Sassy why did you decline my call?" She called me by my nickname, Miles my brother couldn't pronounce my name when we were younger. Instead of saying Symphony it sounded more like Sassy.   

"Sorry mommy I was in the bathroom. What's up?" I tried to sound chipper since my family has no clue about the rape or the death of the girl in my old house. I was lying to them but if they found out I was be on the next flight back to Texas.

"I haven't seen your pretty face in so long." 

"I still look the same." 

"I miss you sweet heart." 

"I miss you too." My voice cracked.

"Baby what's wrong? My heart is saying your not telling me something." 

"It's nothing."

"I know you Sassy."

Not anymore, I said to myself. "I'm fine, how are you and daddy?" I wanted to take the focus off of me. 

"Oh your father has fallen off his diet again for the fiftieth time." 

I laughed. "Daddy has never stayed on that diet." 

"I know but it doesn't hurt to try. I love that man but he is just like you. Stubborn." She started laughing.  

"Well that's what you love about us."

"That's true. How's the dance studio." 

"It's going good." 

"With you as a teacher, i'm sure your students are dancing like little butterflies."

After she said that I thought of Cain. "Almost."

"We are all so proud of you Symphony, you are such a strong black women."

I felt bad because I was lying to her, I was not strong. "Hey mommy I gotta go but I promise to call you back okay?" I really needed to get off the phone, my heart was breaking. 

"Okay honey make sure to call your brother, Miles really misses you." 

"I will." 

"Talk to you soon, I love you Sassy." 

"I love you too mommy." 

 Every time i got off the phone with my family I felt sick to my stomach,. After I danced for Cain, things started to feel different with me, I got a glance of the old me. I miss her and the way she was. I picked up a box and opened it, pulling out the picture albums of my family I flipped through the pages and laughed at on old Halloween picture Of my brother Miles and I. He was Freddie Kruger and I was a Zombie, we had so much fun that night scaring people. Pictures of my parents when they were younger, my first ballet lesson. A tear escaped my eye and soon others start to fallow. I kept flipping to page after page and my heart broke seeing this girl smiling and so full of life. She was laughing and playing and enjoying life, I remember her. I want to be her again. Walking over to the book shelf and stacked all the albums and books from the first box. Walking over to the corner I pulled over  another box and opened it. Dishes were in this box I pulled it over to the kitchen and started putting things away into the cabinets and draws. More tears started to fall as I opened box after box showing more and more of my old life. Diva followed me back and forth as I unpacked all of the boxes.  Rolling out the rug I pulled the coffee table over it and Laid one of the family albums on it. Pulling of the sheets that covered the furniture I stepped back and took a look at the almost finished product. Their was only one thing left to do, I pulled the cord on the curtains and let the sun light through. This is the start of the old me!!

*****Sorry for the wait but I hope you liked it*****

All Rights Reserved By: MrsCassey