JAMES.

"Stop moping," Sirius sighed, leaning back in one of our armchairs, "It's nearly Christmas."

It was the holidays, and, as per usual since Sirius had run away last year, he was spending the holiday with my family. 

Remus and Peter were with their parents, so it was just us and my family, which Sirius was practically part of anyway.

"He's right, James," my mother popped her head around the door, "Love sick or not, you should enjoy yourself."

"I'm not lovesick-"

"Whatever you say, honey, but go get in a game of Quidditch or something. You need it."

I glared at her. "I don't want to play Quidditch."

"And that's how I know you're lovesick." Mum smiled and left the room. I scowled.

"Seriously, mate. Let's have a match. Just one on one, trying to get the Quaffle past each other."

"Why? Lily hates how I play Quidditch."

"No, she hates how you act after winning a match."

"What?"

"Mate, she never complains that you play. She complains about how you mess up your hair to make it look like you've just got off your broomstick, how you act like the king of the world when you win a match. Her words, not mine."

"How do you know?"

"She tells you all the time. You just don't listen."

I thought about that for a second.
"Yeah, alright. Let's go play Quidditch."

---

SEV

My heart beating like a broken metronome, I rung the doorbell of the Evans' house.

Please don't let Lily answer.

Mrs Evans opened the door.

"Severus," she said, surprised, "Lily didn't say you were coming."

"Sorry, I, uh, wanted it to be a surprise."

"Oh. Well, come in, come in. You're always welcome here."

"Thanks, Mrs Evans."

"Pleasure." I stepped inside.

"Lily, Sev is here to see you! I'll send him right up."

I walked up the stairs. They seemed like the longest thing ever.

Lily burst out of her bedroom.

"Sev? What are you doing here?"

"Nice to see you too," I muttered, but she luckily didn't hear me.

"I thought you made your choice," she said, quieter, "didn't I make myself clear?"

"Please," I said, "let me explain."

Lily sighed. "Oh, alright then."

I followed her into her bedroom.

"DOOR OPEN!" Mrs Evans yelled.

"WE'RE JUST FRIENDS, MUM!" Lily yelled back. It felt like a knife to the heart.

Lily slammed the door. "Honestly. She thinks I'm going to get with every single boy- never mind. Explain yourself."

I took a deep breath. "I know I shouldn't have hesitated. But you don't understand what it's like. With Mulciber, Avery and the Carows and all the others. If you're in, you're in. There's no going back. If you try and get out of their clique, they blackmail and bully and terrorise you until you have to come back. It's horrible, Lily. I hate it. I hate them. But I can't leave."

I hung my head.

"When I joined them, I had no idea that they were recruiting to be Death Eaters. I thought they were just the cool kids, the popular ones, and I just wanted to be accepted.

"You're in Gryffindor - no offense, but you guys just don't get it. You can't see it from our point of view. Some people were born into Slytherin. They're proud to be in that house. But a lot of us... We've been told that we're the bad guys because we're Slytherins. Before people even know us properly, they immediately think we're evil or bad because we wear green ties. Some of us are. But most of us just wanted to be accepted somewhere. And Mulciber and Avery made it seem like they wanted us.

"You have a nice, accepting family. You have tons of friends. Everyone likes you. You don't know what- what it's like when no one accepts you. When you're bullied for hanging out with your best and only friend because she's in another house. So when Mulciber and Avery came and told me they wanted me in their group, it was acceptance. I was wanted somewhere.

"By the time I realised my mistake it was too late. You were mad at me. Potter was still bullying me. Avery and Mulciber were just using me. Nothing had gotten better - it had just got catastrophically worse. And I couldn't do anything about it.

"I can't change who I am, Lily. I can't change the fact that Mulciber and Avery have me cornered now. But if I could... you have no idea how much I would give just to change myself so I could be in Gryffindor."

There was an excruciatingly long and painful silence.

"I'll go," I said, and made to leave, but Lily grabbed my arm.

"Sev," she said quietly.

"What?"

"I..." she looked genuinely sorry for me. Yay, I'm halfway to pity dating. "I'm sorry. For not seeing your point of view. You're right - Gryffindors are rubbish at that stuff. I'm really, truly, sorry, Sev."

"Thanks."

"Sure."

"LILY! IS SEVERUS STAYING FOR DINNER?" A voice from downstairs jolted us to our senses.

"No thanks, Mrs Evans!" I called back. "I'd better go. Can I come tomorrow?" I asked.

"Yeah. Sure. Uh, bye, Sev."

"Bye." I left.

Just as I was exiting the house, I heard, "Sev, wait!"

I turned around.

"I just wanted to say," Lily said, "That I'd give a lot to change myself so that I could be in Slytherin."

She hugged me tight, and then closed the door behind me.