Darkness does not always equate to evil, 

just as light does not always bring good.

~P.C. CAST

I couldn't figure out why Elden was there. The Queen had assigned him to me, but didn't I already have Lizzy as a bodyguard?

And what was with her behavior? Not once did she call me dear, I noted quickly in my head.

Something was off. Like she was holding herself back. I knew the danger though that the Queen had warned me of. How I knew of the danger.

It was all too real to my mind of the crippling cycle that seemed to be trapped within life mates. What do you do when you lose a piece of your soul? That's the question that is asked of when a life mate loses their loved one.

It's crippling enough just to lose someone you love. But through the bond of life mate, you literally form an attachment to them. Your souls merge together. Such a violent tear can only result in the want of your erasement. Because you know that your life will never be whole again.

All these thoughts filtered through my mind as I followed Elden to the training grounds. I had read countless books on life mates because of my father's actions. Back when I was looking for a solution, a cure- anything to help him.

Now the thought scared and amazed me at the same time. I had a life mate. I could suffer the same fate as my father.

Be the sun

I chanted my motto to myself. These were too heavy a thoughts to think so early in the morning. I couldn't think of the future and what could be. I could only think of the now. The present.

Rounding the last corner, I saw a sight that made me smile.

Lizzy was bouncing around, doing her warm-ups, all the while asking a nervous Gavin and a glaring Alto questions.

"Do we really need shirts for this guys? I mean, I say we split up and form teams! You be skins and Fayette and the new hunk she brought and I will be shirts!"

Her thoughts were met with silence.

"Hey not everyone rush to take their shirt off," she said, laughing at herself.

Her eyes lit up when they saw me. "Fayette!" She squealed rushing towards me.

"Hey Lizzy," I said, laughing at how bright and amazing she was.

"Ready to kick some wolf booty?" She questioned, her fangs slightly showing in her grin.

Gavin saw and stepped forward, "you can partially shift?" he questioned, his eyes holding astonishment.

"I was a pack warrior once," Lizzy said proud, "one of the best, I know how to fully and partially shift. My little baby girl over here though," Lizzy motioned towards me, "only knows basic fighting skin skills."

Gavin still looked at Lizzy with surprised eyes. I loved watching people react this way when they realized that Lizzy was an expert warrior.

"But how-" Gavin sputtered before Alto interrupted him.

"-Enough Gavin. She can partially shift. Good for her."

Lizzy glared at Alto but chose not to speak out against the wave of power that radiated from him. Alto took a step towards Elden, and to my surprise shook his hand.

"Elden," he said, showing what looked like a small smile.

"August," the man who was next to me said.

"You know each other?" I couldn't help but ask the question. I could have sworn Elden was bad news by the way the Queen was acting.

Alto nodded, "Elden will be my future Beta when I am crowned."

I couldn't stop the gasp that escaped me. This guy?

I looked up at Elden who looked down at me with laughter in his eyes. Okay. Now the Queen was really confusing me. But If Alto knew and trusted him then I felt slightly more comfortable in his presence.

"Enough distractions," Alto said suddenly. Power radiated from him in that moment, making Elden, Lizzy, and Gavin bow their head involuntarily in submission.

My eyes widened at the strength that seemed to come out of Alto. I wanted to move closer to him. I wanted to feel more of it. It made me feel safe.

He eyed me with a small smirk on his face. Pleased in some way that I did not react like how the others did.

The training was already starting.

Lizzy demonstrated to them the moves I knew. Alto was careful with me. Probably too careful. He growled whenever Gavin or Elden tried to help or touch me in any way- even if it was just to steady me or prevent me from falling.

I eyed him closely after a while, becoming annoyed with his behavior. Gavin told me in a side whisper when no one was listening or looking, that it was because his wolf that was inside him was so powerful. And the fact that we were life mates.

Though Alto was careful with me, he was still ruthless.

After hours of working, I felt like my arms and legs could do no more. I didn't want to complain or say anything to Alto, but it was obvious that I was the only one who was feeling the exhaustion. No one else in the group was even breathing hard.

Finally, the day came to an end.

I fell down on the ground, spreading myself out, breathing hard.

"You'll get cramps if you do that," Alto said, his dark eyes watching me.

"I....can't....breath..." I managed to huff out. What idiot had told me to run a mile as a warm down?

Right, the one that was staring at me, making my skin spark and heart go even faster.

He leaned down and sat on the ground next to me.

"In....out.....In.....Out...." Alto continued his chant on breathing until I finally had it steady.

"Good," he said in a low voice.

"I can't believe you do that every day," I groaned. I had worked a lot as an omega, so I was good the first few hours, but then hours fell into half a day. And half a day fell into a whole day.

Alto looked down at me with amusement in his eyes. "We'll be doing the same thing again every day this week."

"NNnnooooooo," I slowly moaned out, "I thought you wanted me to live."

Elden laughed in the distance at my comment.

Alto just knitted his eyebrows in confusion before helping me up.

"Come on," he whispered in my ear, making goosebumps appear on my arm, "let's go eat in our garden."

I grinned a silly smile at him, lost in a cloud of bliss so easily at his promising words.

"But first..." Alto backed away from me, wrinkling his nose, "maybe you should take a shower."

I gasped out loud, staring in outrage at his comment while he laughed at my face.

"Oh no He didn't sista!" Lizzy said in the background.

I turned around, "fine I'll take a shower. And then I'll meet you."

I raised my head in the air, not looking back at my supposedly "life mate."

Lizzy slung her arm over my shoulder, walking back to the room with me. 

"Let's get out of here Fayette," she said loudly, "All these guys stink."

First off let me start by apologizing for not writing in a while! 

I'm sorry to those who were reading- now you have to stop and then remember what happened and some of you might have honestly just given up on me and just went to some other book (hahaha I would have done that) but to you .0000001% who read! Thank you! You mean the world to me! 

I'm deciding that Pride and Ashes is going to be a rough rough draft. 

It's dawned on me within these past few months as I've struggled to write it that this is my first werewolf book, so I shouldn't be putting this much pressure on myself. I worry so much about what readers will think and if my story is any good. But no more! I'm going to just write what I want, and go with the flow of the story. I'm not going to stress-fully plan out every detail of the story and if I miss an important thought or clue- who cares! It's a rough draft! I'm just going to have fun with this and write!

I hope you have fun reading it! 

/////WORLD_JOY_/////