23 Weeks Along

-Harry's POV-

The sound of Ava's slow breathing is the only thing that has managed to calm my nerves.

I tighten my arm around her, my palm resting on her swollen belly as she sleeps. I can't fucking believe what happened tonight. Seeing her at the bottom of those stairs, looking scared and in pain... it made my heart stop. It took everything in me to keep my composure while everyone pressed in around us.

She was hurt again.

Because of me.

I thought I had things figured out. I would bring her here, to Holmes Chapel, out of the limelight. She would be safe at my mums. Not bothered like she was in London. Not in danger like she was in London. I was so fucking wrong.

I don't know what to do at this point. I can't sleep, my mind won't let up. It keeps going over any option I have. The problem being... I don't bloody have one.

She can't go on tour, she can't stay in London. Our other home is in L.A., which is the worst option available. Even my own home town, small and usually fairly devoid of paps, isn't going to work out.

I'm out of ideas and I'm sick over it. And angry. It shouldn't be like this. This should be one of the happiest times of Ava's life. But because of me, it's not.

I sigh, letting go of Ava and laying on my back. I rub my face before glancing around the darkened room. The moonlight shining through the windows provides just enough light to remind me my childhood room is now a bit emptier then when we arrived earlier today.

The old telescope that sat in the corner is gone, along with the desk chair. The laptop I brought with me is no longer gracing the top of the desk and the walls are now shy from any pictures. The lamp that used to sit on the side table is missing as well.

I lost it.

Once I was finally alone, after bandaging Av, I fucking lost it. The second I was in my room my vision went red. I didn't even realize I'd snatched up the laptop till it had hit the wall across the room. Then I couldn't stop.

I'd destroyed half the room before Ava softly knocked on the door and called my name.

When I opened the door to her I felt nothing but ashamed. She doesn't need me losing my temper along with everything else.

But true to Av's character, she didn't say a word about the mess. She just wrapped her small arms around me and told me she loved me. It was exactly what I needed.

I scolded her when she tried helping me clean up, making her leave so she wouldn't step on any broken glass. The last thing I needed was her hurt twice in one night because of me. I don't think I can handle something else hurting my girls.

When I finally had the room cleared, I trudged downstairs. My mum and Gem just gave me sypathetic smiles as I walked over to Ava and held my hand out to her. Once we were back in my room I closed the door and pulled her into my arms.

I don't know how long I held her, standing there right inside the doorway. But it wasn't long enough. It's never long enough. I have to leave tomorrow afternoon and I don't know how I'm going to be able to say goodbye to her.

When we slide into bed, I couldn't keep myself from saying I was sorry over and over again. Ava kept telling me to stop, but there wasn't any helping it. If it wasn't for me she wouldn't of been in a car accident. If it wasn't for me our flat wouldn't have been broken into. If it wasn't for me she wouldn't have been pushed down those bloody stairs.

It's all because of me.

I grab my phone off the nightstand, wanting to try to distract myself from my thoughts. But of course as soon as I unlock it, message after message pops up. Several from the lads, asking after Ava. One from Finn telling me he talked to Gem and was there if I needed to vent. Four from Poppy, mostly getting on to me for not popping those paps in the nose. If she only knew how much it took for me not to.

I respond to all of them before doing the very thing Liam just warned me not to. I google my name and clicked on the first news story I saw.

•Harry Styles Reportedly Headed Back to Tour After Pregnant Wife is Attacked by Paps

One Direction fans are breathing a sigh of relief after Nail Horan tweeted earlier today that Harry would be back on tour asap.

@NiallOfficial: No worries! Harry will be back before ya know it! Can't wait for the show tonight! Buzzin

Harry jetted to England when his London flat was broken into just yesterday, putting his new wife in danger. While we understand Harry's need to take care of his personal life, thousands of his young fans were less then thrilled he wouldn't be performing for the next two nights. And Harry looked no happier to be letting his fans down as he was filmed arriving to Heathrow.

While we expected to see a smile on his handsome face while he dined with his family just this evening, we were once again suspicious Harry isn't as happy as he tries to let on. Usually polite and always smiling, Harry spent the evening yelling at paps. We don't know about you, but we've never seen this side of the 1D band-member before.

Sadly, this doesn't seem like just a one time thing. These days, Harry nearly always has a frown hiding those dimples we love so much.

And those dimples never made an appearance this evening either. While appearing to be fighting with his family during dinner, his new wife looked more then pleased. One fan witnessed the heated exchange between Harry and his sister Gemma and tweeted to let her fellow Directioners know.

@1D4Life: Why does Ava look happy that Harry and Gemma are fighting? Poor Haz never smiles anymore. Stop tearing our family apart @AvaMcCain!!!

This isn't the first report of our favorite British lad looking unhappy while his new bride has a smile on her face. A source close to the couple was kind enough to let us know what's really going on, 'Harry is trying so hard to keep Ava happy, but it just seems impossible. She likes it when he fights with his family, she wants him all to herself. The fact he left tour for her only proves how great of a guy he is. Unfortunately she doesn't seem to appreciate all that Harry does. She's constantly crying and begging him to leave tour for her. Complaining that he doesn't give her enough of his time. It's all become to much for him and it shows. He just isn't happy anymore.'

Heart breaking as the thought of #Hava being no more is, maybe that's just what Harry needs to be his old self again. And would it really be the worst thing for Ava? We don't think so.

History has shown dating Mr. Styles isn't easy. But being married to him seems a hundred times worse. No doubt you've seen some of the hate Ava's received when the news broke of their newly married and pregnant state. And if you haven't... let's just say it made us cringe.

But rude remarks are nothing compared to the actual physical harm Ava has experienced just these past few weeks. She still has stitches across her forehead from a car accident involving paparazzi. Add the fear she no doubt experienced from her house being broken into and now getting pushed down a flight of stairs, and you've not only got a lifetime movie but a recipe for disaster.

It's no secret Ava's pregnancy is high risk. We hate the possibility of a little Harry being put at risk, but it seems it's happening every day. When is enough enough? We've all seen the proof of the love between these two, it's undeniable. But if the current situation makes Harry so unhappy and puts the baby at risk, is it really smart for them to stay together?

Let us know what you think by taking the poll below....

I turn my phone off quickly, not being able to read another word. Such bullshite. Ava is the only thing in my life making me happy right now. It's all the rest that is making me miserable. And they things they said about her... They couldn't be more wrong. She tried to convince me not to leave the bloody tour. It was my decision, and my decision alone. She's the most supportive person in my life. She followed me around on the bloody tour as long as she could. And she loves my family, she fucking makes sure I call them as much as possible. And I have, more then ever before. Because of her.

My jaw tenses and I have the urge to break something again. Would tweeting a simple 'fuck off' be to much? I'm pretty sure Louie has done it before. Probably more then once. But he just got a slap on the wrist. I'd never hear the end of it.

Av's small frame shifting slightly next to mine brings me back to reality. She snuggles closer to me and I wrap an arm around her as I pull her into my chest. I take a deep breath before pressing a kiss to her hair. I love her so much.

This is what makes it all worth it. Ava is what makes it all worth it. I doze off with those exact thoughts in my mind, calming me enough that sleep finally drags me under.

I wake up suddenly to the sound of Av's voice calling my name. The loudness of it along with her grabbing my arm making me sit straight up in bed.

"What... Jesus Ava..." I reach for her as she chokes on a sob.

Tears are streaming down her face and she's gasping for breath. I cup her face, but she pushes me away, trying to get some air.

"Ava, what's wrong? Tell me!" I yell as she frantically pushes the blankets down her legs.

The door abruptly swings open and the light is flicked on. I squint, seeing my mum and Robin standing in the doorway. My mum puts her hands over her mouth as she gasps.

My head snaps towards a sobbing Ava next to me and for the second time today I see is red.

But this time it's not from my anger.

It's from blood.

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